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And here-we-go.


I'm a fool.

And a child.

I am a foolish child.

I don't know what I thought sneaking into his room, taking my clothes off, climbing into bed with him, and putting his hands on me would accomplish. But if I thought that would actually bring us closer it backfired spectacularly.

But for that short moment when I had his hand on my breast, it was heaven.

It wasn't worth it.

I don't think I've ever seen Dave so mad before. Not at me. He yelled at me. Actually yelled at me. A lot.

God, I don't think I've felt this bad since Daddy died.

Just- Fucking hell.

I don't know what to do.

He just left me there. He yelled at me and then just left me there, curled up on his bed.

I have no idea where he went. I don't know when I'll see him again or if he'll even talk to me again after this.

And it was embarrassing on top of it all. As if getting yelled at while naked wasn't bad enough, when I managed to croak out, "But I love you," ya know what he said?

"I know."

He said he'd known for ages. That everybody knew. Marty, Todd, Angela, and Riley. The cheerleading team. Marcus. The only person he didn't name was his Dad and if Dave was telling the truth about everybody else than if his Dad really doesn't know it's only because I barely see him.

And then he said that spending so much time with me had been a mistake. That all the times we stayed up talking or texting, when we curled up together watching TV or a movie, the nights we spent in the same bed with his arms around me, should never have happened.

He said I didn't understand that, that I thought it was okay, that he hadn't been wrong to do those things, because I was a child.

And maybe he's right. Why else would I do something so stupid?

I don't even know why I did it. I just had to do something. I thought that-

I don't know what I thought. Every time I try to look back at why I did it, all I can think is "Stupid stupid stupid stupid."

Dave was everything but a lover to me. I had almost everything I wanted. And then with one foolish decision, I crossed a line and lost it all.