A/N: So I had this long, heartfelt note for you guys and then this lovely website screwed up my formatting. So instead you're getting a brief note, unless I can recover what I wrote. Lol. No beta because I was too excited to hand it off, so if you see any mistakes, feel free to point them out. I'm running on very little sleep.
Also, things have changed since I last did this.
Yikes, showing my age.
Review!
Mon Cœur S'ouvre à Ta Voix
(My heart opens itself to your voice)
They're Overdue I
It wasn't until the door was completely closed that he noticed the presence beside him as he left Rukia's room.
Toushiro looked up, surprised to find the blue haired maid there without his having realized it, standing as if she was waiting for him.
Had she heard what he'd said?
"You knew about her decision." The statement was as calm as the top of a placid lake, but he could sense the clear churning of anger below it. Still, his shock at her having acknowledged something he thought hadn't been fully disclosed to the petite Kuchiki as of yet overrode the indignation at being addressed impudently.
Also the fact that she was brazenly admitting to having overheard everything.
"How did you know before she did? Unohana wasn't supposed to-"
Setsuna's brown eyes glittered dangerously as she took a step towards him. Toushiro knew this stance—had been in it plenty of times before. Whatever she was about to say was only going to be punctuated by the calm stance of a fighter who'd clearly at some point in her life been under Yoruichi's tutelage.
"All I need you to understand is this: if she marries or not, I will not hesitate to stand for her decision."
. . . wait. What-
"It would be wise to remember that you have no clan and captain or not, I'm not afraid to-"
"Hold on-"
"-give you a friendly push in the right direction if necessary. I may not be allowed to follow onto the battlefield at her insistence, but I will do everything in my power to protect Rukia-sama from becoming the clan's plaything." Her voice lowered to nearly a whisper. "Have I made myself clear?"
He was being threatened. He was being threatened.
And yet all he could think even as he stood there in open-mouthed shock, Setsuna slipping quietly past him, was that maybe there were things he needed to reassess.
True to her word, Unohana made sure that Byakuya had come and gone for a visit with his sister before once again making time to find the younger Kuchiki. Upon her arrival, the captain quickly noted the improvement of color in the young woman's cheeks. But even then, a specter of worry draped heavily upon Rukia's small frame. It wasn't hard to see the exhaustion in her gaze or the subtle worry in her brother's furrowed brow. Regardless, what was causing turmoil in the Kuchiki siblings, Unohana could only speculate.
Rukia allowed the fourth division captain to take her arm, used to the routine check of her pulse.
Sometimes there were things Unohana wished she could share—however, dealing with Sereitei's soldiers had long ago taught her that the first step had to be theirs to take, no matter how much she wished to help.
Therefore, out of respect for the unranked soldier before her, Unohana spoke to Rukia impartially and candidly—offering her the same choice she had to Hitsugaya and hoping that this news would not cause more anguish for the Kuchikis. However, as she spoke, where the white-haired youth had seen the opportunities, all Unohana noted in Rukia was the apprehension.
She was still for a moment, letting the information sink in after the fourth division's captain had finished speaking before looking up to meet the gaze of the older healer standing beside her bed.
"No matter your choice. . . I trust your decision."
Ah.
"He knows already." A statement more than anything.
"Yes," Unohana replied, "he was made aware shortly after the incident."
Rukia looked down at her hands but offered no real determination of her feelings, face carefully devoid of emotion even as she tried not to drown in her own thoughts. There were so many things she needed to consider, and yet there had been a fatigue that had settled into her mind like a fog after the anger and frustration of Byakuya's confession. Somewhere in the haze lingered the anxiety, she knew, but the Shinigami couldn't even begin to think of anything past the day before.
Mostly there was the strange fascination at how fate was being so heavy handed all at once. To this Shirayuki gave a most unladylike snort, catching Rukia off guard enough to momentarily clear the miasma from her thoughts before yielding only to a light sigh. It would do no good to try and tackle everything at once, of that she was sure. If anything, a moment to sort herself out was critical—which in the immediate future would have to wait.
Forcing herself to try and ground herself in the here and now, Rukia simply let her worries steep in the corners of her mind. There was nothing she could do at the moment, so why try to hold on to everything forcefully?
"Thank you, Unohana-taichou. I will discuss this with Hitsugaya-taichou after I think it over a bit."
The captain smiled, nodding. "I expect nothing less of you, Kuchiki-san."
As she turned to go, solemn violet eyes followed her form out the door. Rukia's gaze lingered there long after the click of the closing door, trying in vain to figure out how to untangle the knots in her mind.
Another decision.
Now more than ever Rukia felt the closeness of the four walls of her hospital room, very much a reflection of her frustration as she clenched and unclenched her fists, unable to figure out if she even wanted to sit or pace. As valiant of a face as she had put up in front of Unohana, being alone in the room left too much empty space to fill. She couldn't hold on to any emotion for long, though it was safe to say that she didn't much try. The volatile thoughts kept slipping through her fingers like many grains of sand she was too overwhelmed to grasp at.
She couldn't tell if she was that emotionally exhausted or if the weight sitting on her chest had permanently made its home there long ago and she was just now becoming aware of its presence. It had snuck up on her, finally bearing its weight all at once on her heart when Byakuya had . . .
She needed to stop thinking herself in circles.
The faint reflection of her zanpaktou standing quietly beside the nightstand snapped her out of her reverie momentarily. She too was restless, choosing usually to remain formless when discussing things. Whatever turmoil was going on in Rukia's heart had probably turned the spiritual landscape into a mess and driven Shirayuki to seek temporary refuge there, the Shinigami gathered with a twinge of guilt.
Setsuna had decided to go home earlier that morning at Rukia's insistence, leaving the younger Kuchiki with her (and Shirayuki's) thoughts. Though meaning well, the maid's presence had felt a bit stifling and so now the petite shinigami stood with arms crossed at the window, shifting from foot to foot with only her blade as companion.
"Do you think we should do it?" Sode no Shirayuki was silent for a moment, measuring her answer carefully before sighing.
"I am a part of you, just as much as you are of me, Rukia-san. If you decide that this is worth pursuing, understand that things will change. If a red string of fate has been tied between the two of you, it will mean that pushing forward will change whatever dynamic we currently have with them and with each other. Your heart will be laid bare before him as his will be to you."
Her heart.
In her mind's eye she recalled the massive dragon curled behind the tenth division captain, piercing gaze cutting through her much like his wielder's. She recalled the blue glow, soft and calming against the bright color of the flames . . .
There were only two people that understood her heart and yet. . . could she handle that kind of transparency, the judgement from such an imposing creature? It was terrifying to think that someone would suddenly have access to all of you like that—every happy memory, every fragment of color and sound, of touch and hunger. . .
Every fear.
All of it suddenly laid bare.
"You act as if that hasn't happened already." Her own sword spirit interjected into her thoughts softly. "Rukia-san, what do we know about Hitsugaya-taichou?"
Startled, Rukia turned to argue with her companion and found the words instead dying in her throat.
Sojiro Kusaka. Momo Hinamori. . . Ichigo and Hisana.
Shirayuki had a point—whether for better or worse, they knew each other. Maybe their friendship had been tentative all these years, but now Rukia could find very few souls who she could say she knew more of on an arguably intimate level.
So really would it be that bad to explore this with Hitsugaya? It wasn't like she didn't trust him with her life. Granted, the leap she was making was a significant one from trusting him with her life to,well, every facet of her true self.
However, it wasn't like this was the first time she had done that, she thought sadly.
The image of Hisana, though brief, pushed to the forefront of her thoughts as a chill went down her spine.
No.
Things were different this time.
"No matter your choice, I trust your decision."
It made sense now, his visit. And try as she might, Rukia couldn't escape the warmth of reassurance at his words. He was treating her as an equal, respecting her space and allowing her the chance to come to her own conclusion about the matter—a modicum of control in a world where she usually felt as if she had none.
Still, it didn't take a major leap to lose that warmth to her own doubt.
What would he gain in exchange for agreeing to this? She was nowhere near as powerful as he. Even at her best it would take her a long time to master the level of power he so naturally wielded. Then there was the mess the clan had created to corner Byakuya. How would it ripple through the rest of her life?
It felt like the more she thought about it, the more one-sided the benefits potentially were in her favor and possibly for a limited time. As the noose tightened around her neck, the tether of a loveless marriage, how far would that allow her to push?
But say he had already decided to go through with it. If she agreed, she felt an obligation to at least let him know what was going on before he truly committed to anything. Her honor would allow her nothing less.
And at the end of the day, if he decided against trying to explore this together, she would honestly not lose anything. She was not going to address the magnetic pull he seemed to have on her—that was a rabbit hole she was not falling into today.
The thought slowly drifted off, released with the heavy sigh she expelled.
"One thing at a time—be logical, Rukia," she chided herself.
How she wished for her drawing supplies. She swallowed, shifting her weight from foot to foot uncertainly.
Her work and home life were two separate things. She just had to make sure it stayed that way for everyone's sake, though she would do Hitsugaya the courtesy of telling him what was going on before asking for his decision.
He had given her freedom to choose, and she would do the same.
Because she had to consider her personal decision as well.
She technically had an out. She could just refuse and leave Byakuya to handle the fallout. But the thought sent a knot of disgust through her.
Whether for better or worse, she had already chosen what to do.
She would marry.
And, Rukia hoped, maybe she would be able to stay a Shinigami? There were many arranged marriages! Most of those of the upper echelon of Soul Society were known to sleep in separate rooms, to barely even acknowledge their partners past the public formalities. . .
Loveless, possibly. But free.
Freedom at least, barring the chance at being allowed to develop any feelings for anyone.
Then again, had she ever really had that chance? The few times she thought she had, reality brought her savagely back to the ground.
That ache at least, she was used to.
"I think I know what to do now." The petite shinigami said after some silence, turning to look at her sword's spiritual form. Sode no Shirayuki nodded then, already beginning to fade.
Resolve would come the more she repeated her truths to herself. For now it was enough to begin, stepping away from the window with arms that loosened to fall to her sides. There was still tension in her shoulders, but the power of her determination eased the knots of apprehension in her stomach just enough to let her ignore them.
She didn't want to think too much about it—was afraid to backtrack herself into full blown doubt that would cripple the decisions she had at least come to. And so, before she could begin doubting herself, Rukia pushed the thought away and decided instead to try and make use of her restless energy.
With a little luck, Unohana wouldn't catch her sneaking into the Kuchiki staff hospital rooms to apologize to the few unfortunate souls who hadn't moved out of her spell's way. It was the least she could do.
Rukia (after what felt like an eternity) returned to the Kuchiki home several days after, the air thick with uncertainty. The siblings had yet to see each other in more than just passing, and even when they were forced into the same room for longer than five minutes, Rukia found it hard to allow just about anything out of her mouth.
Though she had come to a rather quick decision when it came to matters with Hitsugaya, her personal concerns were another matter. She wavered sometimes, if she was being honest. At times she thought she just couldn't bring herself to do it—to stand and give empty vows, living the rest of her life empty and under some (most likely) noble's shoe.
But then she thought of her older brother, of Hisana's grave, and felt a twinge of shame at even considering passing the burden to Byakuya. So instead, she compromised. She had come to the realization that maybe, just maybe, there could be some legal loophole to get both her and her brother out of this mess.
Mostly she had asked a plethora of questions to Setsuna (since she had been such a longtime member of the staff and privy to a few of the past Kuchiki weddings), bombarding her with 'what-ifs' and 'maybes' with no luck.
Somehow between returning to work and doggedly chasing any and all information through the dusty tomes in the Kuchiki library (once Setsuna's own fount of knowledge had dried up), a week flew by. Between her and Setsuna they had tried in vain to find a loophole in the books outlining legalities of marriage law to which many a past Kuchiki had penned their agreement to. It was a flurry of frustration and growing exhaustion from squinting too long at old handwritten texts that were better off having been in the fire, Rukia thought.
Still, when she happened to stumble upon her sister's marriage certificate, she slowed to a stop. Violet eyes followed the curly, shaky signature and she momentarily wondered if this was due to her sister's weak countenance or lack of written education.
Had Byakuya taught her how to write?
Had it been in that very room?
Somberly, Rukia slipped the certificate back into its place within a folder.
"I think I'm turning in for the night." She murmured to her companion before putting the files she had pulled back carefully. "I think you should too. Thank you for your help, Setsuna."
Setsuna nodded then, marking her spot with a small scrap of paper tucked between the pages of the law book she had been reading. "I hope you have a good night, Rukia-sama."
Giving a weak smile in reply, the petite Shinigami turned to leave.
"Rukia-sama?" She turned, blinking. "Please don't lose hope. We'll figure something out."
Try as she might, Rukia could only muster the energy to give half a weak, lopsided grin before waving halfheartedly and slipping out to change for bed.
At the moment she was expecting nothing short of a miracle, honestly.
It had been over week and he had yet to hear from Rukia.
To say that he was getting restless was an understatement if his lieutenant had anything to say about it.
And boy did she ever have something to say about it.
For the last few days she had been relentless in bringing up the petite Shinigami, needling him at every turn and quickly driving him up a wall. At the moment though, she was just watching him pace, pen tapping lightly on the desk as he dictated edits to a report she read out loud to him.
He stopped for a moment, brow furrowed in thought.
"Read that last group to me again? Something about it just doesn't add up." Matsumoto lightly exhaled in exasperation but complied. They'd been at this for hours. Originally she had been doing it alone, but after not really understand what exactly the last figures were in their expense report, she had pulled him into the fray. They had been digging through every line of numbers since then, looking for errors and finding more than they'd anticipated.
She needed a drink.
"You know what," she said after a moment of contemplative silence, "I need a break and I know you do too."
Toushiro opened his mouth to protest but was cut off by the sound of knocking.
Matsumoto's face instantly split into a predatory grin Toushiro could just feel boring into him as she realized who was bowing at the door.
"Hitsugaya-san, might I have a moment of your time?"
His vice-captain spared barely a second before answering for him with unrelenting glee.
"Of course he has time for you, Kuchiki-san! I'll just step out, I need a break anyways. You know how much of a tyrant he can be." Winking, the strawberry blonde ignored the very poignant glare aimed at her and airily made her escape from the room before either of her companions could protest.
Flustered, Toushiro cleared his throat in the ensuing silence before gesturing towards the sitting area.
They sat opposite from each other, the awkwardness hanging thick between them as they busied themselves settling in. Finally, without any more excuses and unsure why exactly he even felt suddenly so flustered, Toshiro swallowed and forced himself to speak.
"I see you're doing a lot better." He began, almost physically flinching from how nervous his voice sounded.
King of eloquence, oh yes.
Rukia blinked. "Yeah, it's been about a week so I feel much better."
Silence fell between them again as Toshiro's brow furrowed. He didn't know how to even begin tackling the elephant in the room without coming off as anything other than eager. Which, was he eager? His logic said yes, but his heart. . . well. The captain wasn't too sure how to feel about everything. Logic he knew. It was easy and predictable. But this newly settled friendship? It was complicated in ways he hadn't been prepared for.
True, their friendship had a certain level of intimacy—of private knowledge and trust—a development he was still struggling with after what had felt like a betrayal from Momo. Granted, the two women were as different as night and day. With Momo he had always felt the heavy mantle of protector fell squarely onto his shoulders but with Rukia, there was no question as to where they stood. She wasn't asking for that—had in fact helped him in his darkest hour.
And maybe that was why he was so uncharacteristically anxious to know her decision?
They were on even footing as individuals. Their friendship was born of mutual respect and (though he would be hard-pressed to admit it) a magnetism blossoming from his fascination with her dogged sense of morality. Not because of any physical attraction of course.
He ignored the incredulous emotional wave his zanpaktou wordlessly sent through him.
There was a strong, growing pang of disappointment at the thought of her saying no, he realized as his gaze fell on her. And though this revelation had been startling to him in and of itself, more so was the realization that his disappointment wasn't for the loss of a chance at destroying Aizen. He'd reached that conclusion the longer he went without seeing her.
The burning anger was still there, but it was slightly tempered. Of course, forgiveness was nowhere near what Aizen deserved. If there was ever someone Hitsugaya ever truly, vehemently, and wholeheartedly wished the worst possible death for, it was him. And if it meant dying in the process, the captain of the tenth division would happily die knowing he had taken with him the monster that still cast a shadow over all of them. It would bring him peace to know the wounds of his squad—of all their squads—might then truly begin to heal.
However, now that he had the potential to hit Aizen with a power he surely knew nothing about. . . he hesitated.
Because the anger, the agony, the bitterness of his existence bubbled from his heart, and yet he couldn't find it in him to ask Rukia to take that path with him.
Hence, though he ultimately decided against it, he still held on to a little hope. If she chose him of her own free will, then he would take up the fight with her. And maybe in the future they could discuss Aizen.
Violet eyes fell to the coffee table between them, momentarily following the whorls of the wood.
She could get away with not telling him, Rukia suddenly thought with a strange sense of panic, oblivious to the captain's musings. Maybe she could just make up some foolish excuse for showing up here and maybe-
Violet eyes rose to meet cerulean and Rukia regarded the captain with a sense akin to the sadness of saying goodbye. It almost felt that way as they sat there with the afternoon sun spilling in from an open window and deepening the shadows in his gaze.
. . . Maybe, a little voice in her head whispered again, maybe she wouldn't have to let go of what she was only beginning to cherish.
But that wouldn't be fair.
Finally, her eyes broke away from his, falling to the fists in her lap.
She had to do it.
"I wanted to talk about what Unohana-taichou told us."
She didn't see his jaw clench. Even if she had, Rukia wouldn't even know how to even begin fathoming as to why the captain would feel the need to brace for her next words.
All she knew was that he deserved to go into his decision just as informed as she had. Though honestly in her heart it almost seemed like she had handed their new bond a death sentence.
"I wish I could say I wanted to pursue this-" she tried to think of the correct word, gesturing between them, "-whatever this is. But I'm just not confident that it would be fair to even put that decision on the table without you understanding what is going on in my life."
"Rukia, your life-"
"-is changing." She interjected, meeting his gaze, pleading silently for him to listen, "Drastically."
He frowned in confusion but kept silent, letting her continue.
"The Kuchiki elders have been playing my brother into a corner and he's been forced into making a drastic decision that affects me, and in turn, any future plans I might have." She swallowed, gathering up the courage to explain and knowing that this would permanently change the dynamic between them. But what choice did she have?
"I have to get married." The words were brittle, her throat dry with the sound of her nearly whispered rasp. She didn't know when her eyes had fallen away from him but Rukia couldn't look back at the captain, afraid for some reason to even meet his gaze again. She wasn't sure whether she hoped to see disappointment or relief—either of those two felt devastating for completely different reasons.
"I've tried looking at every alternative, every loophole in their laws." She swallowed, the tiredness of her fruitless effort making her voice small as she said, "there are none."
"I don't understand." Toushiro stated curtly.
Vague. Understand what, Rukia wondered. That she was getting married? That her marriage would potentially disrupt her life outside of Kuchiki manor as much as it would inside? That Byakuya needed her help? Or maybe that her future husband might even want to take her out of the Shinigami ranks altogether?
The knot in her stomach tightened at the thought. She closed her eyes then, sighing heavily as she pushed the horrible thoughts away. She needed to explain more bluntly, it seemed.
"Byakuya needs to name an heir. The last war rattled the elders once they realized that my brother wouldn't have a successor if something happened to him. It could throw the clan into its own war if they're not careful."
"Wouldn't you be the next one in line though, since you're related?"
The light, bitter laugh that left her lips made him scowl in confusion.
"I'm not really Byakuya's sister—not by blood at least. Byakuya married my biological sister, who died years ago—"
"Hisana." He interjected, recalling the young woman cradling Rukia's still form on the rooftop of the club not so long ago. Rukia nodded.
"-Her last request was for him to take me in."
A moment of deliberation and then, "so they're basically pawning you off to the highest bidder and giving the title to him."
Wincing at how crass it sounded, Rukia didn't answer.
"That's absolutely ridiculous." Toushiro stated with annoyance, arms crossing. "This seems like something Byakuya should be dealing with. Why doesn't he remarry?"
At this Rukia frowned, trying not to let the annoyance lace into her voice. "He has his reasons."
"This is insane, I can't believe you're letting them just out of nowhere come and tell you that you have to get married?" His brow was furrowed, unable to understand how the young woman before him was the same one who had looked down the gauntlet so many times she no longer flinched. Also, because there was a sudden twist of his insides at the thought mixing with the shock. It was confusing and overwhelming. But over it all, there was a growing sense of dread.
Rukia was giving in.
She wasn't going to give them a chance, wouldn't let him—
"I can't believe you've given in to them, Rukia." The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them.
The sting of his remark hung heavily in the ensuing silence, both of them momentarily rendered speechless. It didn't last long however as Rukia rallied behind the wave of righteous indignation that squared her shoulders.
She immediately became impenetrable, her gaze drained of everything but a focused fury. It was almost terrifying to observe how deftly she could reign herself in, leaving behind the indifferent Kuchiki mask.
Oh.
"What I've decided in the matter is none of your concern." Was the sharp reply as Rukia stood suddenly, "I thought it wouldn't be fair to you, not knowing that this change was coming to my life, that I may no longer get to be a-" A tremble in her voice, she swallowed the rest of her sentence. Unable to stomach willing it into existence through voicing it. She met his gaze however, pride steeling her spine. "I see now that it was a waste, as you have made it clear that I've disappointed you."
"Rukia-"
"Sorry for the interruption." And before he could get another word in, Rukia left.
"What did you do?"
She had barely stepped back into the room and Matsumoto had already figured out that something had happened in her absence, and it wasn't good. Behind her, Ashido raised an eyebrow as he followed the tenth division's vice captain into the office.
A sharp glare in her general direction was her only response.
Matsumoto and Ashido shared a glance.
"I'll go check on Rukia."
Matsumoto nodded, baby blue eyes slipping back to the captain. His palms were pressed to his eyes as he sighed. She might've teased him about how forlorn he looked, but the weariness in his gaze as he sat back up made her instead take a seat across from him.
He looked so young and vulnerable like this, she marveled.
"I messed up."
"I figured as much." Ah, there was his glare. It couldn't be that serious then.
Running a hand through his white hair, Toushiro considered giving a quick, annotated version of what had just transpired. But Matsumoto wouldn't understand without full context. Did he want her to understand it all? Though usually he would like to mull it over himself, give it time, meditate, for the first time in a while, he truly did not know how to proceed. There was a wave of urgency that overwhelmed him at the thought of Rukia walking away on such terrible terms.
It wasn't logic he needed, he realized with a sigh.
He needed Matsumoto's emotional wisdom.
To her credit, Matsumoto didn't offer anything to lighten the mood. Instead, she listened attentively as her captain finally shared everything. Well—everything at least from their last shared trip to Rukongai until then. The Futagoza, the Kuchiki clan's meddling, and. . . well really that was it. There wasn't anything else to tell.
The skeptical look on the vice captain's face went ignored.
She seemed to regard him for a moment, and then from Kami only knew where in the couch, she pulled out a bottle of sake, popping the cork and holding out the bottle to him. Toushiro regarded her with a raised brow, wondering if she was joking. She knew he didn't really drink often or much. Nonetheless, she gave the bottle a mild shake, insisting he take it.
"I was saving this for a special occasion, but I think you're going to need it."
"You're ridiculous. See if I ever come to you for advice again." He snatched the untouched bottle and placed it between them on the coffee table.
"Also, stop bringing alcohol into the office. How many times do I have to tell you?" He feebly chided.
Their gazes met. His brow furrowed in growing confusion and frustration in the ensuing silence. Matsumoto simply regarded him, and he got the distinct feeling that the look on her face was that of someone who was gaging how stupid he really was.
He would know. He seemed to aim that look quite often in her direction.
"You really don't get it, do you?"
He startled at her words, confusion flashing on his features.
And then, much to his annoyance and embarrassment, Matsumoto burst out laughing.
"Oh, oh—you really don't get it!" More laughter. Miffed, Toushiro crossed his arms and looked away. Really, he had no idea what she was on about, but at this point he was in too deep to back out. He really regretted telling her.
Seeing this through tears of laughter, Matsumoto finally collected herself between fits of giggles, wiping at her eyes and apologizing.
"What don't I get?" Her captain grit out, trying to salvage even a little of his pride. He might've managed to too, if Matsumoto wasn't suddenly beside him. Astonished, he barely reacted as she clamped down her hands on his shoulders, locking eyes with him and quite serious.
"Hitsugaya-taichou." She said slowly, her voice softening. "You're in love with her."
There was such a gentle look on her features, laced with something akin to compassion.
"I'm sorry, I just thought you knew."
For a moment, Toushiro didn't move. There was turmoil reflected in his eyes, and it truly hit the buxom blonde with how sincerely he had been oblivious to it.
Okay, so she felt a little bad for laughing now.
Matsumoto didn't protest as Toushiro broke away from her gaze, unable to sustain it. The vice captain seemed to see something in his eyes, boring down to the depths of his soul. It was frankly quite unsettling. So instead, he shook himself out of whatever that had just been, brow furrowed but otherwise feigning nonchalance.
"Stop saying such ridiculous things." He muttered, slapping her hands away and getting up.
Matsumoto's knowing gaze followed him as he took the bottle of sake, corking it.
"There are some reports on your desk. You better finish them before the end of the week. I need them for the next captain's meeting."
"Yeah, ok." Matsumoto agreeing? He almost turned to look at her.
"Just get those done." He grit out hoarsely as he headed towards his quarters.
Matsumoto didn't say anything as he took the bottle with him.
"I don't know what I was thinking." She fumed, pacing in the gardens of the Kuchiki estate. Ashido's gaze followed Rukia, regarding her silently as he took a bite of an apple slice from the plate next to him. "It was stupid. I shouldn't have done that."
"What's done is done. Besides, if this was how he reacted, maybe it was better this way." He offered pragmatically from his perch on the edge of the deck beside Rukia.
Though inside he was wondering what he was going to tell Byakuya. This would not bode well for the only potential candidate the elder Kuchiki had started to consider seriously. As for how he felt for the captain, he wasn't sure. They had barely ever interacted. He respected the young prodigy, sure, but it was from one Shinigami to another. He could sense the young man's power, and he was sure at some point maybe Toushiro had sized him up too. Regardless, the only real information about the tenth division's captain came from Matsumoto and Renji.
"You're right." Rukia said, snapping him out of his ruminations. "What's done is done. I just have to. . ."
Arms crossed over her chest, she seemed to hug herself as she slowed to a stop with her back to him. "I just have to move on with this. Futagoza or not, the marriage is final. I might've been forbidden by my future husband anyways."
"Rukia-"
"I'm fine." She said, turning to give him a smile that was anything but reassuring. "I'll be fine."
Whether she noticed the change in her remark, she didn't say. And, Ashido figured, it was not his place to push her to admit otherwise. So, instead he took a slice of apple and offered it to her silently.
Her smile was a little more genuine, if not a tad somber, as she grabbed the offered fruit and took a slow bite. Chewing thoughtfully, she pulled herself up beside Ashido, gaze distant. Her legs dangled over the edge, bare feet swinging slowly.
Maybe it was better that things had occurred this way. Begrudgingly, Ashido had to admit that Rangiku had been right. The two ice wielders clearly had something blossoming between them. But to have it turn out like this, Ashido could say was somewhat disappointing. It seemed like things would've been aligning for them if Byakuya approved—but two steps forward, and three back.
Nonetheless, if she didn't have any further emotional attachment to someone, especially now, the engagement would be easier on her. Sure, the ache would be persistently there for a while, but it would dull.
Rukia would be fine. Of that the redhead was certain.
Sighing, violet eyes met gray. Her small hand came into his field of vision, palm up in demand of another apple slice. Ashido wordlessly complied.
Rukia would be fine, he though as he regarded her thoughtfully, because he would make sure of it.
