Everything went to hell when Cissie Sommerly asked William to the Sadie Hawkins dance.

The night started out with William about choking himself trying to put on his necktie and didn't improve from there. As the two headed towards his car, Thaddeus swallowed repeatedly. Yet no matter how much saliva he forced down, his tongue remained limp and his throat hard and dry.

It wasn't as though his father had done this with him. Thaddeus had to piece things together himself based on what the other boys at school said. Crude as he was, Sid was no help in that department either. Despite the piles of magazines buried under his brother's mattress, the people inside had nothing that Thaddeus didn't see on himself.

William was clutching a cheap bouquet that he'd bought at the grocery store that afternoon. The rainbow hued flowers, still wet from the plastic vase he'd stuck them in, looked as though they'd fall apart if he clutched them any harder.

Thaddeus started his car. The rumble of the engine and the soft whirring of tires against the pavement momentarily filled the silence. Thaddeus let the sound wash over them, embrace them. Then, when he could bear its touch no longer, he spoke.

"William, it's time you and I had a discussion." Really, he should have done it sooner. But just when could they have done it? It wasn't as though there was a guide or rule book that laid out how and when these things should happen.

William sat up straighter in the passenger seat, eyeing him. "Yeah, Dad?"

Thaddeus cleared his throat. "Son, what do you intend to do with this girl tonight?"

"Dance? Eat her pizza? Girls always complain about food."

"I suppose I can't fault you for that." He gripped the steering wheel tighter. Maybe he was just digging himself into a hole. For all he knew, William already knew everything. That was how it was with kids these days, wasn't it?

No.

It was a comforting, if foolish, thought. Quitting now wouldn't sign away the future and its consequences. Quitting would only multiply his embarassment down the line.

"That may be all you two do tonight, and I truly hope it is. But you'll be a man sooner than I'd like, and that means you'll go through some changes. Someday that won't be all you want to do." He took a deep breath. "Because eventually a man finds a woman, or a man finds a man-"

Or a woman finds a woman almost slipped from his tongue, but Thaddeus quickly stopped himself. There was enough to deal with already without mentioning something completely out of William's realm of possibilities.

"And I don't mind who you ultimately end up with. Actually, I do. I hope you have good taste, but that's beside the point." Pausing, Thaddeus cursed that damn SCORA and all of the code scrawlers and math junkies who birthed it.

"Dad..."

"Yes?"

"How come you never got married?"

If William could have heard it, the only reply was Thaddeus' own heartbeat.

"I'm the one who should be questioning you."

What did the kid need, the truth? Oh, you wanted a second parent, William? It's the twenty-first century, you can only get married if you find someone to say yes.

And just what did he need someone for? Hormones and infatuation were fleeting, but his goal was forever. Romance didn't excite him the way rage did. Since he was young, love had long been a stranger to him. Why try and pursue it now?

"I'm too busy with my work." He paused again. "Does that bother you?"

William shook his head. "I mean, I was always curious but never found a reason to ask."

"And that's not your concern now, anyway."

Now or never.

"William, intimacy is an important act that two couples can share."

By the time Thaddeus had finished teaching William how to pronounce chlamydia, they had arrived at the Sommerly residence. A short-haired redhead in an ankle-length blue dress was standing on the two-story building's front porch, a man a few years Thaddeus' junior standing close behind her.

There were hugs and the exchange of flowers, discussions of curfew and warnings to not do "anything your mother and I wouldn't want to hear about." Mr. Sommerly's hands were covered in sweat, and there was something in his eyes that Thaddeus could never quite fully decipher, no matter how long he looked into them.

"Cissie, William's mentioned you a number of times."

She grinned, showing off a mouth full of money. "Aww, thanks." Or, rather, thankth. There was something about her tone that made Thaddeus wonder if she always sounded like that or if it was just a side effect of her braces.

On the ride to West Middle School, Thaddeus spoke again. "So you're both in a number of the same classes. How lucky for you two. Cissie, what do your parents do for a living?"

"Oh, my dad works at a bank. I like to go sometimes and ask him if he'll give me the keys to some safes." She giggled. "My mom is a doctor. That's actually why she wasn't home right now. Her schedule can be really weird. I don't blame her, though. It's not like she chooses when babies are born."

And just what would she say about Thaddeus' earlier speech? To the best of his knowledge, it was medically accurate.

"That's very nice."

"What do you do, Dr. Sivana?"

Doctor? William really had told her a lot about him.

"Oh, just try and solve the questions that many think have no answers."

After dropping them off, Thaddeus watched the two walk hand in hand inside the school's gym. Thaddeus looked around, taking in the crumpled petals in his backseat and the sheen of sweat on his forehead.

All in all, that could have gone a hell of a lot worse.