Author's Notes
This is a short one-shot written for the Daily Prophet's "Celebrate Good Times" competition, with the Seeker's prompt "the birth of a child." It's a bit of an alternative take on the prompt. Enjoy! Please review :)
It takes place pre-Hogwarts, in the summer of 1980.
Snape wandered through the streets of Diagon Alley, he had been buying ingredients for a new potion he was working on at the behest of the Dark Lord. He was exhausted, he'd been working on it non-stop for months, but it still wasn't quite where he wanted it to be. Voldemort was starting to get impatient with him, and he dreaded showing up at the next Death Eater meeting without a functional potion.
He glanced at his watch, it was getting close to 8pm. His stomach growled, he hadn't eaten anything all day, instead slamming coffee and tea while he furiously brewed and prepped ingredients.
Although generally he preferred to eat alone in his house at Spinner's end, he couldn't be bothered to go home and even heat up a tin of soup. Since he was already nearby, he decided to stop into the Hog's Head and have a proper meal, and maybe a drink or two.
He pushed open the door to the tavern, and the sights, sounds, and smells assaulted his senses. He nearly walked out, but the gnawing in his stomach won out and he forced himself through the door. It was a Friday evening, so the tavern was bustling and filled with patrons, some of whom were already a bit drunk and rowdy. He kept his head down as he made his way inside.
Snape slipped in quietly, hoping no one would notice him. He looked for a table in the corner, but the tavern was full and the only available spots were at the bar. He wasn't in the mood to make small chat with anyone, so he searched for an open seat at the end, as far away from everyone else as he could get.
He slid onto the stool and nodded his head at Abeforth Dumbledore who was at the other corner of the bar talking with a patron.
A few minutes later, Abeforth walked over. "What can I get you, Severus?"
"Firewhisky. Two fingers."
Abeforth picked up a tumblr and grabbed the bottle, pouring him a generous glass and sliding it over to him. "Anything else?"
"Shepherd's pie."
Snape didn't offer up any polite conversation and Abeforth didn't try to engage. Like many people, he was wary of Severus Snape, there were more than a few rumors that he was cavorting with the Death Eaters. That said, as long as he didn't cause any trouble, Abeforth wasn't going to turn away the business.
The tavern was quite dark, and Snape had kept his head down, so he hadn't looked around carefully to see who else was there. In the background behind him, a large table of people were laughing and making noise, clearly excited and likely very intoxicated. Snape rolled his eyes to himself and took a large sip of his drink.
A few minutes later, Snape heard the table behind him cheer and clap, and he lost his restraint and turned around to look. He wished he hadn't, because just as he did, he saw the figure of James Potter saunter through the door and make his way back to the rowdy group.
You've got to be kidding me. Snape slammed the rest of his firewhisky and cringed as it burned his throat, meeting the acid that was making its way up from his stomach. He didn't want to look again, hoping the shadows would hide his face and no one would notice him.
Snape looked up at Abeforth, tapping the top of his glass, motioning for him to pour another one. He would have gotten up to leave, but he was hungry and he knew his food would be arriving shortly. Despite desperately wanting to tune it out, he could hear the loud voices coming from the table. Without even looking he could easily identify everyone who was sitting there. It was his worst nightmare.
"James, mate! Congrats!" He was sure that was Sirius Black. He could hear him as he loudly scooted back his chair, standing up to give James a huge hug and slapping his back. "You're a father!"
"We're so happy for you. What did you decide to name him?" He heard Remus Lupin add on.
"Harry," James say proudly. "Harry James Potter. I know he's only one day old, but I have to admit, he already looks like he's taking after his handsome father!"
The table roared with laughter and the sounds of more back slapping and glasses clinking rang out through the room.
The blood in Snape's veins ran cold. Lily had had a baby. James' baby. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears and he felt overwhelmed with emotion. He wanted to disappear. He'd known it was inevitable, he'd heard all about Lily and James' wedding a year before, but something about knowing that she'd had just given birth to his worst enemy's child just wrenched at his heart.
"So, a toast to James, of course, and one for me as well, I'm going to be Harry's godfather. Cigars for everyone!" Sirius tossed cigars around the table and lit one up for himself.
Snape wanted to get up and punch Sirius, his loud and obnoxious words were grating, as though he were purposely trying to torture him.
Abeforth came over and poured another shot of firewhisky. He motioned up with his eyes at the table behind Snape. "Guess they're celebrating."
Once again, Sirius' voice was the loudest in the room as he yelled out, "Hey Wormtail, why don't you make yourself useful and buy us a round."
Snape looked up from his glass with an icy look in his eye. "So it seems."
Just then, a bumbling Peter Pettigrew walked up to the bar, just a few feet away from Snape. As he ordered a round for his table, he turned to his right and looked right at the brooding wizard in black.
"Severus! Haven't seen you in a while, didn't think you hung around here." He bumbled his words nervously. Snape had always had a special contempt for the man, wondering what kind of idiot would hang around people who clearly had no respect for him. James and Sirius always treated him like their lackey, and he seemed glad for it.
"I don't. Usually." Snape responded, keeping his tone disinterested.
"Did you hear? James and Lily just had a baby. A little boy, they named him Harry," he said, somewhat caught up in the excitement of it and clearly oblivious to the fact that Snape had no interest in hearing details.
"How grand. Just what the wizarding world needs, another bloody Potter," Snape said, the words dripping with disgust as he swigged at his whisky.
Peter laughed nervously. "Yeah. Alice Longbottom had her baby too. Two days ago. Babies everywhere it seems."
Snape ignored him and sipped at his drink, hoping he'd get the hint. As Peter picked up several glasses from the bar, he looked up and said, "Have a good night."
It took everything Snape had not to throw his whisky glass at the wall.
Just then, Abeforth came with his plate. Snape picked up his fork and started shoveling in the food, desperate to get out of the Hog's Head as soon as possible.
"Oi, Snivellus!" he heard Sirius shout from behind him as the table erupted with laughter. Snape sank down on his stool, praying they would leave him alone. He put another fork full of food into his mouth and refused to turn around.
Sirius got up from the table and shouted again, "Don't be rude, Snivellus, James just had a baby, come and congratulate him." More laughter from the table.
He heard Remus admonish him lightly, "Leave him alone, Sirius. Sit down and have your drink."
"He's just bitter because he wishes Lily had his baby, isn't that right Sniv? Are you sad that Lily just gave birth to James' little clone?" he said loudly in a mocking tone, laughing aloud at himself. "Better luck next time, Snivellus."
The table got awkwardly quiet and then James' voice rang out, "That's enough Sirius, stop it. Let's just enjoy ourselves, I can't stay out too much longer, I told Lily I would have one quick drink and come home."
Snape put his fork down, his hunger was gone and his stomach now just burned with rage. He reached into his robes and pulled out some coins, leaving more than enough money on the bar to cover his food and drinks. He stood up, smoothed his robes, and drank the last of his whisky before slamming down the glass. As he stormed out of the tavern, he refused to look back and give them the satisfaction of seeing him rattled.
As he walked out onto the street, Snape felt like he was going to collapse. He gripped the stone wall outside of the tavern as his body crumbled toward the ground. His anger was replaced by humiliation and a deep ache in his chest that was so powerful he didn't think he could breathe.
He disapparated back to Spinner's End as soon as he could, and flung himself face first onto his couch, sobbing like he had not done in many years. With his face pushed into the sofa, he punched at one of the cushions, screaming into it with a heart-wrenching cry.
He sobbed for a few minutes until he nearly made himself sick, but then, like flipping a switch, he stopped the tears, sat up and straightened himself up. He rinsed his face in the bathroom sink and stared into the mirror, hating himself. For some reason, knowing that Lily now had a baby, it felt like the last of his hope was gone. She would never be his.
He ran his hands over his frock and pulled down each of his sleeves, simultaneously forcing his emotions deep into the recesses of his mind, where he kept them tightly locked away. His face returned to it's baseline scowl, and he made his way into his potion's lab where he'd focus his energy on his latest brew. His heart was broken and cold, but he hardened it. He had work to do.
