Author's Note:
I am a life-long fan of Bond. This is silly and over-the-top and I don't care. Let's have some fun.
Companion to Profiling Survival. While his mother is asleep during their vacation in Paris, Reid meets a spy.
Reid's Night in Paris
"Have fun sweety," Diana said.
"I'm just going to the hotel bar, for a drink. It was recommended as a thing to do while in Paris. Soak up the culture."
"You know I sleep like the dead while on these drugs. I won't hear you in the adjoining room if you do anything. And I'll be out for six hours, at least."
He turned red. "Mom! I'm not going to do…anything!"
"I wouldn't mind if you did. You deserve to have some fun."
"I'll see you later mom."
Diana shook her pills.
"Night, night!"
…
Even in the dim lighting of the bar, it was obvious, she was prettiest woman in the room. Wearing a pleated, black cocktail dress, her head, covered in fiery red hair, was buried in a book. As Reid approached her, he could see "Tolstoy," was written on the spine.
"I'll have tonic, and something for the lady," he tried to say in his smoothest French.
"Vodka tonic," she said without looking up. "Easy on the vodka."
"I see your date has finally arrived," the bartender said.
"He has," she said. "Hello Spencer."
"It's a blind date," Reid said. "I was only told…to…to approach the loveliest lady in the lounge."
"Very smooth, I'm Celeste." she said as the bartender disappeared. "They said you were dumb around woman."
"Most prefer to call me socially awkward," he said. "But dumb works too, I guess."
A tall, muscular, man in a flashy suit appeared. He blocked Reid's view of Celeste.
"Hello, hot stuff," he said in broken French. "Wanna ditch this dork and f**k a real man?"
"Get lost, pig," she said.
"Is that anyway to speak to me? I have a Viper parked across the street and in my pants."
The bartender appeared with the drinks.
"Leave the lady alone."
"Mind your own business!"
The bartender gestured with his head. Two men appeared. The pulled the man away.
"Get your hands off me!"
The bartender shook his head.
"I hate Americans. Present company excluded of course."
He turned to other customers.
"How many men have tried picking you up?" Reid asked.
"In the last hour?"
Reid smiled and sipped his drink. Celeste watched him closely.
"So hypothetically, Spencer, what would it take for you to betray your country?"
"There is no way you could convince me to betray my country."
"What if I were to get your mother into the most cutting-edge dementia research study?"
"It would be a very tantalizing offer, but then I'd have to live with myself and what I had done. My mother didn't raise me to be a traitor."
"How sentimental. What if I were kidnap her and threaten to have her beaten until you revealed everything?"
"You wouldn't."
She took a sip of her drink.
"Why not?"
"Because kidnappings are messy. I could call my friends, one who has many connections here, and a simple op. of getting information would turn into a global conflict."
"I do know about the armed guard at her door."
"Killing the guard would alert the staff. Panic would ensue. Despite what movies tell us, spies prefer not to kill, and leave messy things such as DNA and questions behind."
She sighed.
"You really are the smartest man in any room."
"You said 'man,' not person. You like to think you're the smartest person in any room."
She looked at him and smiled.
"Let's take this conversation to my room."
They got up. Reid offered his arm, and she took it.
"The Tolstoy book was a nice prop."
"I thought you'd appreciate it."
Reid was fully aware of the fact that ever male eye was on him as they walked through the bar. But his eyes were on Celeste.
"Can I ask you something?"
"I can't guarantee an honest answer."
"This might be a stretch, but do you know Cat Adams?"
"Yes. I tried to kill her, but she doesn't hold a grudge. She helped me kill a target a few months later."
"Did she ever mention her father?"
"Look she is very good at her job, but she is also, what is the American term? A headcase. I killed my father. Fathers aren't that important."
"You want to know something?" he said as they entered the elevator. "I believe you did. But not for fun, either in self-defense, or to protect your mother."
"Oh, you are something. Listen, be careful around Cat. I can tell from the way you said her name, you have conflicted feelings for her. She is still very dangerous."
The elevator stopped.
"Are you dangerous?" he asked.
"Extremely," she said and led him to her room.
She opened the door.
"Are you scared?" she asked.
"No?"
"Then I'll make you."
She closed the door.
…
Reid began to dress.
"What are you going to tell your superiors?" he asked.
"That sex and bribery doesn't work," she said as she laid in bed.
"Will they be mad?"
"Is the FBI mad when you miss an unsub? They'll be disappointed, but it's business. 'You win some. You lose some.' as they say."
"Is it weird that I'm worried you'll be fired?"
"For you, no. You are just so adorable Spencer Reid. You don't seem surprised that I picked you up."
"I know I know things, that other people want to know. This is my first non-work trip abroad. I knew I'd be vulnerable."
"But you weren't afraid."
"What does that say about me?"
Celeste got from bed and straightened his shirt.
"That there something dark and dangerous about you, Spencer Reid. I can see why you and Cat are drawn to each other."
"I'm also in love with my coworker."
"But you won't touch her, unless she initiates it. You're too good a man."
"So, you think."
Reid headed to the door.
"Wait," she called out.
"I may live to regret this, but if you're ever in a bind outside the US. Call the number I'm about to tell you."
"Why?"
"Because I haven't had this much fun with someone in a while. The sex could have been better, but I can't remember the last time I matched wits with someone like you."
"I'll take that a compliment, mostly."
She leaned into his ear and shared the numbers.
"Thanks."
He kissed her lightly on the lips. She tried to reach forward, but he resisted.
"Until we meet again."
…
"Hey mom, ready for a tour of Versailles?"
"You had sex last night didn't, you?"
"Mom!"
"Your personal life is your personal life."
"Let's get going. The first tour starts in an hour."
They walked to the hotel room.
"I'm happy for you."
THE END
