Freddy had never been so happy to be back in his bedroom. He collapsed into his bed, closing his eyes. For a moment, he let himself imagine that the earlier night had just been some fantastical dream from which he was on the verge of finally awakening.

"You saw that too, didn't you?" Billy asked.

Freddy opened his eyes and gritted his teeth. He couldn't even get five seconds to entertain his delusions!

"I didn't just imagine the sins..." Billy's voice broke. The staff was clutched tightly against his chest.

"I saw it too."

Billy sniffled. "Jesus, Freddy, you don't really think that my dad is... Is hurt, do you?"

"I have no idea." After everything that had happened that night, he felt like he was living in a Dadaist painting. Literally anything could happen next and he'd only face a split second of shock before stone cold acceptance settled in.

"What if he really is gone?" Billy sat up. In place of the staff, which now lay haphazardly off the end of his bed, his hands now clutched a knotted pillow. "What the hell am I supposed to do then?"

"You can stay with us!" The answer came to his tongue instantly. "Victor and Rosa wouldn't know how to say no. And they really like you, anyway. Mary would be thrilled, too. And Darla? She'd be over the moon. Can you imagine it? We wouldn't have to worry about time zones anymore and we could hang out all the time." He pointed upwards. "This is a bunk bed, you know."

It was only when the words were out of his mouth that Freddy realized what he'd actually just said.

"Not that I want any of that to happen!" He sat up, pushing himself across the bed towards Billy. He wrapped an arm around Billy's shoulders and gave one a squeeze. "It'd be cool, but totally worst case scenario."

"What if he's really-"

"What if he isn't?" Freddy grinned. "Hey, travel time isn't an issue for any of us anymore. When this is all done, you guys can come eat dinner at our place whenever you want. Darla is always trying to get people to come over so she can spread that tofurkey love."

"You couldn't pay me to eat that!" Billy stuck out his tongue.

"Oh, come on, you're from California! I thought you guys loved that hippie stuff."

"Cheeseburgers are where it's at."

"Well, yeah. Okay, so we'll just order Big Belly Burger to go then. That should work. Just don't get surprised if Eugene and Darla start fighting over their kiddie meal toys. Someone might lose a limb."

For a moment, no one said anything. Freddy squeezed Billy's shoulder again.

Then, before he could try to swallow it back down, a laugh escaped his throat.

"What's so funny?"

"Sorry, I just thought of something. About your dad if he, you know, comes over for dinner." Freddy cleared his throat before deepening his voice. "'Darlene, would you pass me the salt?'"

"Dude, my dad does not sound like that!" Yet Billy himself laughed all the same.

Since they'd first arrived, Freddy's eyes had better adjusted to the darkness of his room. The items around him were now more than just vague, shadowy outlines. Looking around, he spied his set of forearm crutches set against his door frame.

"Hey, Billy, can you grab those for me?"

"Yeah, sure." He stood. His shoulders were slumped as he walked.

Once he had them back, Freddy stuck them right on his lap.

"Was it weird, you know, being able to walk normally?"

"Yeah. It was great too, at least for a second. But when I did that it was like I stopped being me."

"Do you think my dad would be okay if we'd given the sins our powers?"

"No offense, man, but hell no." Freddy shivered. "Our lives would be way worse if we had a bunch of Shaz... I mean, wizard-ified demons running around."

"But you saw what they did to him!"

"Superman came back to life! There's no telling what might happen to your dad." Freddy scratched at one of his bandages. "I'm sorry I called him weird. It's true but still."

"Says the weirdest guy I know."

"Thanks. You're pretty odd yourself."

"They're still out there, aren't they?"

"What?" Freddy asked. Billy's tone had taken a 180 degree turn and sent him flying face first into the passenger seat window.

"The sins."

Freddy's throat tightened. He nodded.

"We've got to fight them, don't we?"

"Billy, they're insanely tough." Freddy pulled his arm away and hugged his own chest. "Those things almost ate me!"

"But they're our problem, aren't they?"

Freddy never got the chance to answer. From the hallway came the sound of a door opening. Judging by the way it squeaked, it was Darla's. Freddy put a hand over Billy's mouth and a finger against his own lips. Despite the sound of his heartbeat ramming inside his ears, he heard her walk further down the hall towards what he could only guess was the bathroom. He pulled his hand away from Billy's mouth - of all the times to run out of hand sanitizer! - but kept his own finger upwards. It wasn't until they heard the faint sound of a toilet flushing and the patter of footsteps down the hall followed by that same squeak that first sent his heart racing that Freddy again spoke.

"Dude, we're three-point-five to one. I really don't like those odds." Freddy was whispering now. The last thing he needed was for someone to walk in on him. He'd told Rosa that he was spending the night at a friend's house. Up until they'd arrived back at Freddy's place, that hadn't even been a lie.

"Well what else are we supposed to do?" Billy asked.

"We could get help." Really, that was the only idea he had.

Billy's face brightened. He grabbed the staff with one hand and Freddy's shoulder with the other. Freddy grabbed his crutches and held them as tightly as he could with one hand.

"I know someone that can help us!"

"Who?"

Freddy never got an answer. His room vanished the moment that the word left his mouth.


"I don't know what the fuck you guys are doing here, but my mom has a gun and she knows how to use it!"

Billy rubbed at the side of his head. He really should have accounted for a less than pillow soft landing.

Billy groaned. "Annie?"

Yellow light suddenly filled half the room, bringing the shadows into focus. Sitting up, Billy saw Annie sitting on her bed, a hand held close to a lamp atop her nightstand.

"Billy? Mall guy?" Annie wasn't yelling any longer.

"Freddy," Billy quickly clarified.

"What are you guys doing here?"

Freddy spoke before Billy got the chance to respond.

"Jesus Christ, Billy! Did you really just bring us to a girl's room in the middle of the night? Are you trying to make us look like pervs?"

"She's my cousin!"

"How does that make this any less creepy?" Freddy sat up, his eyes falling on the doorway. "Oh, fuck! Did she just say her mom has a gun?"

"Well, yeah." Annie crossed the room. She was dressed in a faded pink T-shirt and red Mickey Mouse pajama bottoms. Perched across her bed was the unicorn she'd won at the carnival. "But she's kind of on a business trip right now. I just yelled that in case you guys were burglars. Or, you know, pervs."

Freddy turned back to Billy and glared at him.

Annie stood a few feet from them and gave a weak laugh. "Oh man, so this happened. This should be a lot funnier in the morning."

Billy blinked. Somehow, Annie seemed to be taking this well.

Suddenly, Annie jumped. When she hit the ground, her wooden floor reverbated beneath his butt. The staff shook, rolling further across the floor.

"Funny, I'm usually able to fly in these things."

"Dude! Your cousin can fly and you didn't tell me?"

Annie jumped again and didn't even get as high as she had the first time. "Man, this dream really is weird."

"Dream?" Billy asked.

"Oh yeah, lucid dreaming. You ever heard of it?" Annie grinned. "They happen to me all the time."

"Uh, Annie," Billy said. He stood, walking over and collecting the staff. "This isn't a dream."

She froze.

Billy couldn't keep her gaze. He turned his head, taking in some of her posters. They were mostly of cats and Disney princesses. Sitting atop a dresser was a row of teddy bears.

Okay, Freddy was right. This did feel a little creepy.

"Are you serious?" She pinched her side, letting out a yelp. Then, without warning, she ran towards him and grabbed his shoulder. "You feel real!"

"Heh! I better."

She stepped back. Her feet were bare, giving him ample time to take in her strawberry colored nails.

"What are you guys doing here?" She stiffened. "How did you even get here?"

"Well," Freddy said, "that's where it gets weird."

"Annie, my dad's in trouble and we need your help!"

"Wait!" Freddy yelled. "That's why we're here? I thought you were going to take us to like Superman."

"I've never even met Superman!"

"Well I don't think he would have said no to helping us!" Freddy put his face in his hands. "Billy, how the hell is your cousin supposed to help us?" He pulled his fingers apart, looking Annie in the eyes. "Uh, no offense."

"Again, what's going on?" Annie pulled at the end of her corkscrew curls.

"We're here because my dad's in danger!" Billy hadn't meant to yell. The sound echoed through the room. "Look, my dad got kidnapped by these monster things."

"He what?"

"Shazam!"

The whole house reverbated. When Billy opened his eyes, Annie and Freddy were even smaller than before. "I have superpowers, okay? Apparently my dad does too, and now he's being held hostage." He turned to Freddy. "Freddy's got some too. Come on, show her!"

"Shazam!"

Now it didn't matter if Aunt Addy suddenly came home decked out Rambo style with an itchy trigger finger.

"The getting old thing is really disorientating," Freddy said, "but you get used to it."

"You're sure this isn't a dream?" Annie asked.

"I swear I wouldn't lie about this." Billy said.

She stepped forward again and put a hand on each of their arms. "No way."

"Yes way." He grinned, flexing his arm. "It all happened on the flight home from Philly. Some wizard kidnapped me and gave me superpowers."

"Wow."

"It's the coolest thing ever." Freddy said. He turned his gaze from Billy back to Annie. "You know, you could be like this too."

"What?" Annie brought a hand to her mouth.

"That's why you brought us here, isn't it, Billy?"

He nodded. "Annie, it's the best feeling in the world." He held the staff out towards her. "Look, just grab this and say Sha-"

"-Zam," Freddy quickly finished.

"Shuh... Zam?"

"No, say it all at once! And grab the staff while you're doing it." Billy pushed it forward further until he was holding it by the jeweled tip.

"And if you grab it and see some strange stuff, don't worry about it. That happens all the time." Freddy added.

"Wow," Annie repeated. She stepped backwards a few feet.

Now, in his new body, Annie's room seemed so much smaller than before.

"I know that this is a lot to take in."

"You can say that again." She looked to the ground. "Why me?"

"Huh?"

"Why pick me? I'm not exactly superhero material."

Billy cocked his thumb towards Freddy. "Yeah, well he isn't either but I gave him powers."

Freddy jabbed him in the side with his elbow. "Fuck you!"

He couldn't find the right word to describe the look on his cousin's face. She was frowning but her eyes were wide.

"I came," he continued, "because of our phone call."

"What?" She pushed some bangs away from her eyes.

"You know, when you called me about your dad." He waved the staff around absently in small circles. "You said that you never wanted to feel helpless or like you couldn't do anything ever again. And now you won't have to."

"Billy..."

"Annie, please! I trust you, okay?"

She stepped forward, her hands held out. "So that's it? I just grab that thing and say 'Shazam'?"

"You've got it!" Freddy grinned.

"Wow."

When this was all said and done, they'd need to buy Annie a thesaurus.

"This better not be a dream." She ran forward and grabbed the staff. "Shazam!"


"I look like a tangerine!"

"Hey, it's not like we got to choose the color of our costumes." Freddy said.

"Yeah, well there's a reason I never wear orange." Annie looked over herself in her bedroom mirror. She had to be at least thirty-five but suspected she was older. Her face more closely resembled her mother's than her own. Her hair was now a cropped short bob.

"At least we don't have underwear outside our costumes." Billy shivered. "Can you imagine?"

Horrifying color scheme aside, Annie had to admit that the costume wasn't that bad. When people saw her wearing the lightning bolt emblazened one-piece and flowing white cape, there was no question just what she was. Funny, she'd never really considered being a superhero, but it fit so well.

She flexed an arm. Her muscles were hard and defined. "So what all can I do?"

"What do you mean?" Billy asked. As many times as she'd heard it so far, his new voice sounded so strange. Even stranger than the one now leaving her own mouth.

"I know I can fly, but what else?"

"Well," he said, tapping his chin, "if you're anything like us then you can probably shoot lightning from your hands."

"For real?" She held her hands up. "How?"

"Uh, it'll just come to you." Freddy looked down to her from where he was floating. "I'm positive that you can't start earthquakes with your legs."

"What?"

"It's more of a hassle than you think."

"Look, Annie," Billy said. "A lot of this is trial and error. You just go out, do stuff, and see what happens."

"You should be bulletproof!" Freddy interjected. "Billy and I both are."

"Wait, so does that mean-"

Annie never got a chance to finish her question. Upbeat piano music suddenly filled her room.

"Mom!" Annie flew across the room so quickly that she almost hit the backing of her bed. Picking up her phone from her nightstand, she brought it close to her face. She froze.

It was her mother's ringtone, but there were no buttons prompting her to answer or decline the call. Her lock screen wasn't visible either. All she saw were...

Annie had to squint. What were those things? They were flashing before her so quickly that they were blurring together into one giant mismatched, squiggly shape.

"Annie, what's wrong?" Billy asked. From the corner of her eye, she watched him and Freddy fly across the room. But something kept her gaze from leaving her phone completely.

Freddy leaned his face past her shoulder. "Billy, what's that?"

"Oh no."

The world went white.


Their champion might have been a failure, but he had at least been somewhat useful. Envy cracked its host's knuckles, grinning as the snapping noise echoed across the rocky walls. This body was so stable and strong. After hundreds of millenia spent locked unmoving in stone, it had forgotten what it was like to be encased in warm blood and firm skin. Now it could't stop wiggling its toes or flexing its fingers. To be still would be to willingly trap itself all over again. Considering where they were all huddled together, Envy needed any sensation of freedom it could find.

Wrath had promised that they would rip apart The Rock of Eternity once they had defeated the champions. Envy saw no point in waiting. The statues had not been their only prison. This whole place was a cage.

Envy had been adamant. Even with the wizard gone, this was still the source of the champion's magic. Tearing it apart could just as easily weaken the champions as a hole through the chest or slash to the neck. Yet its siblings had paid little regard to its words. They never did. Born last, Envy was the smallest of its peers, a spark where its siblings were a wildfire.

Some might call it the forgotten one, but the label wasn't apt. It was Envy who had first cried out to the boy, the one that had entered his soft heart and squeezed it without ever letting go. With Envy inside, its siblings just as easily could then enter.

They had all left their champion now, save for Envy. It would sooner take the hot blood and soft breath of their former champion's flesh than its own cold, hard skin. Now, Envy was no longer scales or stones. Once the champions were gone, it never would have to be again.

Envy walked forward, taking in its reflection in the glimmering crystal wall. It was all leather and fur, skin and sparse spots of hair. It smiled, showing off those strangely blunt teeth and bright red gums. Its one eye was blue as the center of fire.

Whatever its siblings thought of it, they always kept their promises. Once the champions were gone, the body would be Envy's alone.

We shall soon summon them.

Envy turned on its heel, taking in Gluttony. It nodded, following it back into what once had been the throne room. The sins circled the piles of crumbled thrones. The wizard and his ilk were gone but still they stood. They had endured for ages before him and would live to see his memory crushed to dust. Raising their arms, they cried out in unison in an ancient, guttural tongue. Their voices had sparked war, seeded famines, and bestowed plagues. Together, they were fire and pestilence and pain. With the champions gone, there was no telling what they might next unleash.

Their words, harsh and throaty as they were, ripped apart the threads of fate before knitting them back together. In a white flash, where there had once been nothing but stone, suddenly lay the champions. Wrapped in the child's hand was the staff.

Envy took in the boy. The red-suited imposter made its heart clench. It pushed the feeling away. That was nothing but memories left behind by the body's former host, a pesky little annoyance that would fade the longer Envy wore this flesh. It was only their suspicions of the boy's ultimate fate that had allowed them to let Sivana keep his little pet.

It was a shame the boy had refused their offer. There was no telling what they could have done if they'd had their host's Achilles' heel.

"Whuh... Billy, where are we?"

Ah, so there was now a third mutt - a female one no less. Something about her seemed vaguely familiar, but Envy couldn't place her. Not that it really mattered - humans all tasted the same.

"We're uh..." He sat up, rubbing his forehead. "We're at the place where the wizard first gave me my powers. It's also where I gave Freddy his. Maybe giving you powers accidentally summoned us here."

"Man, are there any lights in here?" This time, the broken champion spoke. To think that Envy had left such a promising vessel to wrap itself in his pathetic skin! Perhaps it was a blessing that he'd refused their deal.

At his command, Envy sent its hands sparking. The cold blue glow illuminated its siblings' faces.

"Dad?" The champion was looking straight at it now. The staff slipped from his fingers. "Dad!" He was on his feet and racing towards Envy with outstretched arms before it could fully grasp what was happening. The choke the boy pulled him into threatened to flatten its bones.

"Dad, you're okay!"

Envy grimaced. Why would the boy crush its chest when he just as easily could have snapped its host's neck?

The boy squeezed harder. "Look, we'll figure out a way out of this, okay?"

"Champion."

The boy stiffened but did not release his hold. Envy half considered returning the hold and squeezing and squeezing until the boy's insides littered the floor. Instead, it pushed him away with such force that the champion collapsed, a hole forming where he hit the ground.

"Dad?"

Envy bared its teeth. "Grab the staff. Now!"

"Billy," the little pest called out. His hands were cupped around his mouth. "That's not your dad!"


I swear, we're working towards a happy ending.