Mako's Message: ... Yeah, I got nothing to say this time. Enjoy.


I fucked up again.

Like, real bad. I just...

I didn't even think about asking her. I just assumed...

When she came in I just kind of marched over to her, shoved her towards mats, and just started hitting her. She thought we were just sparring at first, but when she realized she couldn't block my punches anymore, and that they were full power...she started freaking out and yelling at me.

It didn't stop me though.

The more I hit her, the more I wanted to hit her. I wanted to hurt her.

She tried to run at one point, but I didn't let her escape.

I dragged her back to the mat and twisted her arms behind her back. That was when I actually started hearing what she saying.

"Mindy! STOP! It HURTS!"

I said, "That's the idea."

"What? Why!"

"You know why!"

She stopped struggling for just a second before she screamed, "What are you TALKING about!"

"DAVE!"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT!"

"YOU FUCKED HIM!"

"WHAT?! No I didn't!"

I wrenched her arm tighter and she screamed in pain and I said, "Stop lying to me! I SAW you!"

"I didn't do anything with him!"

"I saw you leave his apartment! I saw you kiss him!"

"That...wasn't...WHAT HAPPENED!" and she wrenched herself free. She dislocated her shoulder doing it. I heard it pop.

She was barely upright, but she was on her knees holding her shoulder and she started crying, "I didn't do anything with Dave! I was with another guy and we split early, I lied about where I was so I called Dave for a ride. When he picked me up he said he wanted to talk, so he took me to his apartment. He said I could do whatever I wanted with my life, but he didn't think I was making good choices. That I shouldn't be fucking so many guys just for fun. And he was worried about me and what people might think of me and he didn't want to see me get hurt. We just talked. I swear. So yeah, I kissed him when I left, but it was just for being sweet and caring and it was just on his cheek. I'd NEVER try and steal Dave from you or anything!" She stopped and tried to catch her breath and then she said, "Now can you please put my arm back? Or take me to a hospital? It really hurts."

I felt horrible. Hearing her explain it...it just felt so obvious that nothing had been going on. It didn't even occur to me that there might be another explanation. To talk to her.

And looking at her, holding her arm and crying... I couldn't believe I'd done that to her.

I wanted to help her, I really did, I KNEW how to help her, but I couldn't move towards her.

I felt so horrible I couldn't even think straight. I should have gone over and fixed her arm. I should have but I didn't and I wish I had.

Instead I backed away and told her I'd call Alice to help.

It hurt seeing her in pain. It hurt worse to know I did that to her.

It was hard for me to even look at her. It was hard just being in the same fucking room as her.

I was able to get her something for the pain at least.

When Alice arrived and asked what happened, Angela said it was just an accident while we were training.

Alice asked if I was okay, I guess cause I wasn't going near them. Or talking.

And just sitting across the room from them and either staring at Angela or not looking at either of them.

I told her I was fine. She didn't push and then left.

Angela stuck around a little longer, but she left not long after.

I'm still here. I honestly can't believe how long it took me to sit down and write this.

Actually I can.

It's dark out. I have a bunch of unanswered texts and calls from Dave and Marcus. Even a couple from Marty and Todd.

I should go home.

I don't really want to though. Marcus is going to have so many godamn questions about where I was and why I wasn't answering anyone.

But the longer I wait the more questions he'll ask.

Maybe I'll just spend the night here.