Shinji was so mad at his dad, just so mad. Why did he have to hang out with Eren, this major loser? He dragged Eren along into the fine establishment known as the Krusty Krab. Eren wandered around aimlessly, trying to follow the high waisted pants boy who was leading him around. Eren didn't know a lot about the boy except for that he peed his pants a lot.

Sometimes along the way the boy would point street signs out to him, saying "Remember these because I'm gonna ditch you later you fucking nerd. It's how you get home."

But Eren couldn't read so he didn't bother listening.

Finally they reached their destination, The Krusty Krab. A grey man with many legs stood outside, and he wasn't wearing any pants. Eren knew what he was. He dug into his pockets trying to find some loose change, but could not. He sighed.

Maybe some other time handsome, he thought to himself.

Eren held his kids menu upside down, and proceeded to break his crayons. "Shaun can i go to the bathroom."

Shinji took a deep breath, and silently counted to ten.

"For the last time, Ernie, my name is Shinji."

"Are you... are you my brother?"

"Eric just go to the bathroom."

Eren walked over, but he could not read which sign said boys bathroom. He ended up inside the frycook room. Spongebob sat sobbing in the corner, his hat clutched close to his heart. Eren walked over to the deep fryer and began to unzip his pants.

"Hey, hey what the fuck are you doing?" Spongebob said suddenly, scaring Eren.

"I had to pee" he said, frowning. "My brother said so. Why are you crying?"

"I- I'm not crying about anything.." Spongebob said, sliding his MLP comics under the grill.

Annika dash was still not canon. Eren stared at the porous sponge for 10 seconds, and began to pee on the stove. The sound of fried piss filled the room.

"Dude bro what the fuck!" Spongebob got up and shoved Eren.

Eren pointed a finger allegedly at Spongebob, and yelled,"Hey! You aren't my brother!"

"No I'm your fucking dad, what the fuck is wrong with you."

Eren paused, and slowly got up. "Daddy?"

Spongebob slowly scratched his scraggly neckbeard, cheeto dust falling out in the process. "Yeah kid, I'm your daddy. Which means you gotta do what I say. Can you run me an errand?"

"Hey that's my name!" Eren said, clapping.

"Okay kid, I'll take that as a yes. Here's 20$, do you know what hentai is?"

Just then Shinji bust in the door. "Eren what the fuck are you doing?"

Shinji grabbed Eren's arm and yanked him, only confusing him more.

"But brother! I found Daddy!"

Eren began grabbing his hair, extremely disoriented and confused. Shinji literally had to pause, and reevaluate why their fathers had them hang out.

"Uh, who the fuck is that Emilio?"

"I am..myself."

"Esteban, tell this loser to get lost. He doesn't understand the meaning of family like your papa does." Spongebob said.

Eren looked from Shinji to Spongebob frantically.

Shinji screamed. "You dumbass! He's not even a person! He's a fucking talking piece of cheese!"

Eren shut his eyes and clenched his fists. "Just leave Shinji, if you don't understand the meaning of family then none of us can explain it to you."

Just then, Ghandi, Steve Buscemi, and Maury walk in.

"Uhh, my homie Ghandi here says there was, what the fuck was it, cha cha chod in his burger. Remake it."

"CHUT KA MAINDAK"

"See, you pissed him off!"

"Nah," Maury said, patting Ghandi on the head. "He's so chill homie."

Ghandi smiled at him "Jhaat Chaatu."

"See what I mean? Pretty sure he just said 'toke it' in his home language here you go homes" Maury gave Ghandi a joint.

Spongebob rubbed his greasy face with his cheeto licked hands. "Aight, one of you cheap ass bitches needs to buy me some hentai. Or I'm not doing shit."

"Ernesto, let's go. And for god's sake, i fucking told you not to eat the gum on your shoes."

Eren curled up and began whispering about "daddy".

"Duuude, isn't his dad in like jail for drug dealing."

"Sh'yah dude. Raw." Steve and Joey, who had crawled inside too, fist pumped.

Eren stopped picking the bottom of his shoes. "But papí, you never feed me."

Spongebob looked down in confusion. Fuck this kid is weird. "Buy papí some hentai and maybe he'll feed you."

Suddenly Mr. Krabs burst into the scene, naked all except for a pink frilly bra. He was running and crying.

"He always treats me like this!" He says as he runs out the building.

Suddenly Jesse steps out of the room, chasing after the crustacian. "C'mon baby don't be like that."

Shinji needed a drink and a car to run him over.

"Elijah we seriously need to go. Like asap."

"Dad!"

"Alright dude, i'm not your dad. I dont't know how fucking stoned you are but that," he pointed at Shinji,"is your problem. Now if you'll excuse me i needa clop to some ponies."

Eren was so confused, why is brother yelling? If the frozen brick of piss wasn't Father, who was Father? Suddenly, a chopper bust through the ceiling.

"it's all over Eren!" Armin yelled through the megaphone.

"Armando? Why are you up there?"

Everyone in the room needed to sit down after listening to Eren.

Armin dropped down from the ceiling, landing some sick moves beforehand.

"Who fucking invited Cody Simpson?" Maury yelled from the back of the restaurant.

Armin whipped out his gun and shot him. Right in the head. Maury dies again.

"Don't fucking call me that," he puts on some sweet sunglasses.

"Eren how could you just run away from home?"

ERen looked around the room before resting his eyes on Armin. "Andrew, I don't know what you're talking about."

Armin gestures toward Shinji "AND WITH THIS LOSER?"

"You mean brother?" Eren quips.

Armin sighs and grabs Eren around the waist before grabbing the rope attatched the helicopter. "I should've known you were too damn stupid to figure out how to go farther than two blocks."

Shinji screams as they helicopter aways. "DONT LEAVE ME!" He yells, crying. He collapses on the floor.

"Asuka." He whispers.

"IVE BEEN WAITING FOR MY FOOD FOR 2 AND A HALF GOD DAMN HOURS" a fish yells from the back.

Steve Buscemi kicked the fish brutally to a pulp. "No one fucking asked, Jose."

"My leg.." the fish whispered.

the end.. damn.