Today I had a very rude awakening.

One of those moments where it feels like your world just shatters, as if you'd been living in a dream and just woke up? Or like you stepped into the shower not knowing there wasn't any hot water?

I was showering with Angela at The Clubhouse, and I looked over at her and a thought popped out of my mouth; "I wish I had bigger boobs."

Angela laughed at me and said, "You're only thirteen, you've got plenty of time to grow."

Which, ya know, duh. The problem is that I don't WANT to wait three or four years. Or even one more year. Before Dave will stop acting like it'd be some horrible crime for him to do what I've been all but begging him to do for the last year.

It might be more bearable if Riley wasn't digging her way deeper into him every day.

But then she said, "But then, with how much you work out, you're kinda lucky to have as much boob as you do."

And I'd never been so horrified by a comment since... I don't even know. It was just this moment of, "Holy fuck. Is she right? Is me being Hit Girl stopping my boobs from growing the way they should?"

And THAT realization sent me down this rabbit hole of "I need boobs so Dave will see me as sexy and grown up, but I don't have boobs because I'm Hit Girl, but if I wasn't Hit Girl he wouldn't even be interested in me at all, but if i wasn't Hit Girl we'd never have even met."

The only thing that can get me what i want is the same thing that's stopping me from getting what i want.


Mako's Message: Mindy's physical development is something that has been driving me crazy for years now. I might have some good and bad news for Mindy later though.

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