I Do Not Own InuYasha


Ikigai

いきがい

"A reason for being"

'A reason to get up in the morning'

To enjoy the meaning of life - passion, purpose, something one lives for


III: 1


Year 1573...

Tsuzuki Castle, Shikoku InuYōkai Pack Territory, Japan...

Kimi stared at her son's devastated form, and the small, dead human girl laying there. The girl was neatly laid out, her kimono was pristine, her hair was well groomed, her fingers were clean, and her bare feet had dirt and callouses on them. The small kappa was sobbing rather hysterically, and annoyingly loud.

The Meidō Stone was pulsing against her breast and she looked at the girl. She remembered the onna, the wild onna who had laughed and danced, who could fight beside Sesshōmaru and who had kept him safe when Kimi could not. The girl was that onna, she had no doubts of that which was why she pondered about the price of tearing out her soul to go retrieve the girl.

No doubt the child had been reincarnated already, mortal souls did have cycles they went through, she would wager that Rin's was already reincarnated.

"Little demon, why are you crying?" she asked softly.

"The name's Jaken, my lady. It just that Sesshōmaru-sama by his very nature will never shed tears so I must cry in his stead!" the green creature howled.

"Oh, is that how you feel, Sesshōmaru?" Kimi asked. The confirmation would be needed before she would tear her soul out to go find the girl's.

Sesshōmaru's confirmation was by the listless way he looked at the body. Good Kami she hoped he hadn't marked her already.

"This is her last chance. You understand?" she asked, walking for the girl she pulled the Meidō Stone over her head and put it over the girl, seeing the mark and smiling before she felt her soul fuse with the girl's as she was torn through the cycles and she found herself standing in a strange place, which was loud and encased in heavy scents.

She could feel the girl's soul, she was near…


July 23rd, 1984...

Tokyo, Japan...

It was a quiet morning in the park, she had snuck out alone, without thought or fear for what she was doing, she was a big girl after all, and she could go to the park all by herself. She didn't need them to take her! Her mommy and daddy would be so proud of her for being a bit then she would go find her brothers! In a little bit then she would go find her brothers!

Rin counted her steps, looked both ways when she crossed the street, and made it to the greenery, where she giggled and skipped in delight.

It was summer, and there were a few butterflies fluttering about, and there was mist clinging to the park this early morning.

Her name was Zaizen Rin, she was eight years old, she had three big brothers! Ken'ichi, Tomomi, and Yasu were all dweebs though and she wasn't a baby, she was a big girl, and she could keep up with them. But they told her to prove it so she was here this morning. Rin giggled in triumph for making it to the park, now she would chase some butterflies! And pick some pretty flowers before there the other girls got here to tear them all out. Rin did not like the girls in her class, and she didn't want to see them today.

She faltered in her steps when there a flash of silver, and she looked around. There was a wooded area of the park, where the mist clung the most determinedly this morning. Thick and heavy, like a soft cloud. Her friends and brothers were scared of the woods, but not she as she stood up from her little flower patch and scanned the mist again.

There!

She saw it! A fluffy, large, pure white inu with the prettiest gold eyes stared at her. There was a crescent moon on the center of it's head, and she smiled as the flowers dropped from her fingers and she chased after the dog, running out of her poorly tied shoes. She raced determinedly after the inu.

Rin was following the inu determinedly, leaping over roots, and moving through the trees and mist, it felt too familiar and like she was home. She skidded to a halt when there was a strange ripple in the mist, and she looked at where the inu had disappeared. Biting her lip she looked around, it didn't feel dangerous, but rather… safe. Stepping into the barrier Rin gaped as she stared at the prettiest onna she had ever seen sitting elegantly like an empress!

Her hair was white, drawn up in an elaborate style and still long, there eyes were brilliant gold, like the sun, with a purple crescent moon on her brow and two bright magenta lightning bolts on her cheek, her eye lids were the same color as the small lightning bolts on her cheeks. The onna's lips curved in a happy smile as she poured tea at the little table she had set up. The furs she wore were white, and looked so fluffy and soft, like a cloud! The lady was also wearing a pretty kimono, almost overly dressed in this summer's heat. And she played with a massive stone around her neck.

"I have been looking for you for a while now, child, Fate did not make it easy," the lady chuckled as she poured tea in a second cup, now Rin noticed her bright red nails, which were more like claws.

"I…" Rin blinked and looked around.

"Whatever are you wearing?" the lady asked. Rin looked down at her jumper, she was wearing one of Ken'ichi's old hoodies which covered most of the jumper she was wearing, she had lost her socks, and her tights had a massive run in them. Rin hid her hands behind her back and smiled sheepishly.

"Ken'ichi likes the New York Mets," she giggled; and she liked the hoodie because it was bright brilliant blue with orange! Blue and orange were her favorite colors after all. Her daddy was an American, her family lived in Hawaii which was really pretty! She liked Hawaii alot, and her cousins and grandparents in America. But they lived in Japan with her moma's family, and Rin liked Tokyo lots, but it felt wrong here, too big and loud. Her American cousins took baseball seriously! Ken'ichi, Tomomi, Yasu and she were New York Mets fans, their cousins like the Yankees, Dodgers, Giants, and Mariners fan; which was just weird but Joey was weird.

"I see," the onna chuckled.

"I'm Rin," she smiled and bounced on her toes seeing the lady's expression change from bewilderment to ease.

"I'm Kimi-sama," she said and Rin giggled as she looked around the clearing as she skipped up to the little table set up with the tea.

"You're pretty!"

"Arigato, you are very beautiful yourself," she chuckled.

"I'm looking for an inu!" Rin said looking for the big white, fluffy, inu she had been following.

"I see, are you disappointed to find me?" Kimi-sama mused resting her chin on her fist.

"Hai, I thought…" Rin trailed off before shaking her head. "It's silly to think you're the inu!"

"Not really little one, here you are," Kimi-sama said when Rin made it to the table then. Rin carefully picked up the china cup, it was very pretty, just like Kimi-sama. "And I wager you thought I was someone else," Kimi mused idly.

Rin said nothing. She knew it was silly, but she had a silver dream friend who also had a crescent moon on his forehead.

"He's my son," Kimi-sama informed her. "I'm here on his behalf, little one."

Rin stared at the lady now as she sipped her tea. The lady knew about her silver dream friend!? Rin didn't know if that was good or bad, her parents thought he was her imaginary friend, and her brothers thought he was an anime character, but he wasn't, Rin knew he wasn't. There was no way he was! He was too real, too sad to be her imagination.

"Would you like to know his name?"

"Hai," Rin said softly with a small nod.

"Sesshōmaru," Kimi-sama said.

"Sesshōmaru..." Rin carefully turned over the name on her tongue. She liked the name a lot! The name felt familiar, it resonated with something within her heart, like that was who she was awaiting.

"Would you like to know why I'm here, little one?"

"Hai," she nodded and accepted the sweet Kimi-sama pushed before her. Rin nibbled on the biscuit; it was yummy, not like anything she had ever had before but it tasted familiar.

"You have a very important, life altering choice before you, little one. There is no right, and there is no wrong answer, this is your choice," Kimi-sama said. "But I'm here to offer to take you back. I see fate was kind to you this time, you have your mother, your father, your brothers again, you have a good, kind life in this time.

"I can offer you no love and ease in the life I can return you to, I cannot offer you your family back, or a kind life. But I can promise you that Sesshōmaru will be there, and he will do everything to keep you alive, happy and safe. Should you return, you will see what destiny stole from you, but you will lose what fate kindly restored to you."

"I want Sesshōmaru-sama!" Rin stated.

"Be very sure about this Rin," Kimi-sama said. "I cannot bring your soul back from it's next incarnation."

Rin hummed a bit as she looked at the tea. "Hahaue and Chichiue have Ken'ichi, Tomomi, and Yasu, Sesshōmaru-sama is all alone and still sad. I should be with him," she nodded.

"You wish to return to your lord?"

"Hai!" she smiled. "Hahaue and Chichiue will be ok, so will my ani, Sesshōmaru-sama needs me!"

"Very well," Kimi-sama gave her a small, sad smile, as her claws reached forward and wiped crumbs off Rin's cheek. "You are far better than anyone truly deserves, and I am truly sorry for what will come."

"Sesshōmaru-sama needs me," Rin reaffirmed with a smile and nod.

"You are his Rin," Kimi-sama chuckled sadly. "We should be off now, little one, it is a long journey to return a soul to it's previous incarnation," Kimi-sama said standing and offering Rin her hand.

"I should say goodbye," Rin mumbled.

"I have a feeling you'll see them again," Kimi-sama promised.

"You think!?"

"Hai," she nodded as she crouched to Rin's level. "You'll be with them again."

"Okay!" Rin smiled as she accepted Kimi-sama's hand and skipping beside the lady into the mist and stars.


Airi slipped from her husband's sleepy grasp to start on making breakfast for her four black holes and husband. Drawing her hair up she grabbed a robe and walked through the house.

It had been about fifteen years for Airi since moving to Tokyo, her family had resided in Nagasaki before she had moved here. Her mother's passing fifteen years ago had given her father and her the freedom to come to Tokyo, and it was here she had met her husband. Zaizen Kazuo was a Japanese American citizen, his family was in Honolulu. Their fathers had fought opposite sides of the War, and somehow, they were the dearest of friends now. Airi and Kazuo had started arranging for breaks in Hawaii and life in Japan, it was a good life for them.

Never in a million years would she have thought herself to marry a Yankee, Kazuo was a shock to her life. But it was a pleasant surprise, with their life here, three sons, and a daughter. Life was good for them. They were even in a good neighborhood of Tokyo, a large house, and a good marriage.

Her kids wouldn't be awake yet, unless it was Rin, but Rin would hide out in her bed until she could smell breakfast. Her daughter was not a graceful waker, and if Rin had it her way, she would probably sleep the entire day away. Airi's sons were different, the moment they woke they hit the ground running. Her eldest at thirteen was a continually active boy, and his brothers followed his lead. The thought had her chuckling, soon there'd be boys awake, so she would have to make breakfast sooner rather than later.

Airi paused as she walked into her kitchen and stared at the open front door, her hands trembled. She had locked the door last night, her hands trembled as she spun on heel and ran up the stairs of her house. Throwing open her kids' doors, she moved, and paused when she reached Rin's room.

Rin's room was empty, her pictures of that silver man with a crescent moon were hung up carefully, and her bed was made neatly. But her shoes were missing, and her room though was empty.

"Rin!" Airi shouted as she started walking the halls, looking for Rin in her normal hiding spots. Rin had a peculiar habit of hiding well when she wanted to. She ran as she looked, her husband was startled awake when she ran into their room, she skidded to look under their bed.

"Rin!"

"Airi? What's?" Kazuo started as he rubbed his eyes.

"The front door was open, Rin is not here!" she said as she shedded her sleepwear and grabbed easy clothes to wear.

"Airi," he started as he was up and grabbed a shirt and sneakers.

"I don't want to hear it Kazuo,," she started.

"She probably went to the park," he said.

"I'm going to look for her," she started.

"No, you stay with the boys, I'll go," Kazuo said as he jogged out of the house, leaving her before she could protest. "Call the police!" he shouted as he ran.


Zaizen Kazuo jogged into the park and looked around for his daughter, she couldn't have gotten far, she was barely eight for the love of kami! She couldn't just disappear! This wasn't New York or something!

Kazuo's family had immigrated to the United States back in, they had come to the Hawaiian Territory a few years after the Sanriku earthquakes. His father had been a very proud United States Marine, and though his family had been put in internment camps, his father still spoke with pride about his country and his service. Kazuo was the first member of his family to return to Japan since his great-grandfather had left, Kazuo and his father had started a travelling business between Hawaii and Japan, his father's hotel was a nice resort now, and a vacation hot spot; they had several more throughout Hawaii. Kazuo had visited all of the United States, loving his home country, but New York was where children vanished! New York or Chicago or Los Angeles! Not Tokyo.

He stumbled when he saw his daughter's shoes.

"Rin!" he shouted, looking up as they headed for the trees. His baby girl was fearless, she would run headlong into the dangers without knowledge to fear, he stared at the woods of the park and ran into them. She had a habit of exploring forests she should, she did it in Hawaii and here, he had thought living in Tokyo she wouldn't be as inclined to just run off into the parks or gardens!

"RIN!" he shouted as he looked around for any trace of her.

She couldn't have gotten far, this wasn't like the incident Kaua'i where she had no idea where she was going. He looked around for signs of Rin, she couldn't not have gotten far! She was barely eight!

"RIN!" he shouted again, and continued running. He didn't know how long he was out there before he ran to the street for a cop, he had… she couldn't… she had to be somewhere!

"Officer!" he shouted.

"Sir," the man turned to him.

"My daughter, my daughter, she's missing!" he gasped.

"How old?"

"She just turned eight, we think she was at the park, it's where I found her shoes!" he gasped, he felt like sobbing, falling apart and breaking, but now wasn't the time. He had to keep it together.

"Come," the officer said as he spoke in a radio and they both ran for the park again.


Year 1573...

Tsuzuki Castle, Shikoku InuYōkai Pack Territory, Japan...

Kimi watched as Rin's soul was returned to her body and Sesshōmaru leaned over her and carefully touched the pup's cheek as she coughed, taking a few heavy breaths and her soul rejoining her body as it fused with Sesshōmaru's yōkai power already in her body. She felt terrible for stealing the pup to return to her son, but she was pleased with his relief and joy as he lost face and leaned over the girl.


Sesshōmaru stared at the girl with nothing but relief pulsing through his veins as he arranged her to sleep on their futon, she curled up on his mokomoko. Carefully he dragged his claw through her hair, and closed his eyes.

That had been too close, he hadn't liked now close that was. Rin had died, he could remember her small frail body growing cold as her life left her body. Now she was warm, her pulse was steadily beating stronger and faster, more and more closely to the original rhythm before she had been killed again.

He would have to be more careful with the pup, he could leave her out and about, he would have to entrust her to humans and to his mother for tutelage.

"Sesshōmaru-sama?" she whispered and he looked down at large brown eyes. "Can I stay with you forever and ever?"

He just slid his claws through her hair and nodded.

"I'm happy you're here," she mumbled as she hugged his mokomoko again and smiled.

He didn't respond to that, he would have to work harder to keep her safe, there would not be a third time to bring her back. He wouldn't be able to chance losing her again.


July 26th, 1984...

Tokyo, Japan...

Zaizen Rin's face was plastered everywhere, it was a family photo from the family reunion in Hawaii just before her birthday.