I Do Not Own InuYasha


Ikigai

いきがい

"A reason for being"

'A reason to get up in the morning'

To enjoy the meaning of life - passion, purpose, something one lives for


III: 7


Year 1578...

Tsuzuki Castle...

Sesshōmaru didn't sleep that night, instead he kept an ear turned to Rin as he read over the yōkai reports that he had received. Rin slept hard, the poppy seeds had obviously dragged her into sleep. She would twitch on occassion, which would have him running his claws through her hair or wrapping mokomoko tighter around her.

The mark of Magatsuhi was annoying him but he could ignore it. It was dawn when his mother came with a human physician and a female miko healer. Both humans looked uneasy, but he put aside his readings as he looked up at the humans.

"What happened?" the miko asked softly. "Did you do this?"

"No," he answered. "A human did this, make sure she is healing." He said as he looked at Rin. The physician was carefully checking her over, he looked at the splint Jaken had put on Rin, and the herbs on her jaw bruising. There were a few other questions as the miko looked her over, but when everything was confirmed they left. Rin didn't rouse as she rolled over, whimpering in pain and hugging his hip and leg while she curled around him. He wrapped mokomoko around her and resumed his readings.

She was safe here, she would heal, and when she was ready he would speak to her about what she wanted to do, if she even wanted to return to Edo. If she didn't he would keep her here, safe, and let her travel with him. If she did not feel safe in Edo he would ensure her safety himself.


April 13th, 1985...

Nishimeya, Aomori, Japan...

It was a well-coordinated surprise for his boys as they took the train up to Aomori, his parents and Shin'ichi would pick them up at the station to take them to Nishimeya. The boys were excited, having never ridden shinkansen anywhere.

This past January his father and father-in-law had selected the properties to buy and renovated the houses on the property. There were four houses on the properties in total, there was also two abandoned houses outside of the main four. There was a large barn too. His father and father-in-law had actually done the renovations, with his sister-in-law's, mother and occasionally his brother's help. He had packed up the house in Tokyo with the aid of Higurashi Jun, who had been kind enough to be their contact with the police in Tokyo.

Kazuo had successfully coordinated the move without Airi's help.

His wife was listless, when she wasn't fighting the move so vehemently. But in the end he had threatened to take the boys and move to Hawaii or they could move out of Tokyo together to Aomori. He wasn't losing his family anymore, and Airi could either come with them or lose them, and in the end, she had come with them. Though she was listless.

Airi hugged Rin's stuffed inu, the one she had begged to have a purple crescent moon sewn on with a few magenta strips, she had called it Fluffy-sama. Kazuo was fine with this though, he couldn't seem to make his wife anything beyond listless, hopefully a life on a farm with needed tasks would aid her.


Year 1578...

Tsuzuki Castle...

Sesshōmaru was sitting on the engawa with Rin in the evening, she was sore, but he was tired of sitting on their futon, so he had herded her onto the engawa. She was tiredly leaning against him while hugging mokomoko still, she hadn't released his tail at all since he had put her on the futon. The human physician had put her wrist in a split and been reassured she hadn't been raped or suffered an internal injury. Rin was healthy though, healing, Jaken's magic was healing her well.

"Sesshōmaru-sama?" Rin rasped, which had him looking up from the report he was writing for his general.

"What's the mark on your chest?" she asked tiredly.

"It is a curse mark," he admitted, he would never lie to Rin.

"A curse mark?" she inquired tilting her head up to look at him.

"Hai," he answered.

"How'd you get it!?"

"Magatsuhi," he answered.

"Magatsuhi is dead," she said.

"No, he's not," Sesshōmaru answered softly. He could feel her inquiry at his statement which had him looking at Rin carefully. "Magatsuhi was not a yōkai."

"But, Naraku…" she started.

"That disgusting hanyō is not a yōkai but rather many who merged into a human body, neither human nor yōkai within Naraku could comprehend what truly lay within the Shikon no Tama."

"Then how?"

"Within the Shikon no Tama there were two forces, spiritual, yōkai or kami, they are forces of life, there was Magatsuhi and there was Naohi. Magatsuhi is the manifestation of the darkness and evil within the Shikon no Tama and the world," he explained. "Naohi was the manifestation of the light and the good within the Shikon no Tama and the world, and within the jewel they battle endlessly for dominance, for coexistence.

"Naraku could not have understood this when he decided to want the jewel. The Shikon no Tama was no mere wishing gem, Rin, it's purpose is defined by intention, not by the soul wielding it, but rather the intent and purpose that soul possesses. Most yōkai this would be for power, for supreme conquest, to play the grand game only the daiyōkai and kami play, to have power within the other realms of life. And for humans this was the desire for riches, power, youth, beauty," he explained.

"By themselves these desires are not evil, but the intentions are not pure, and the ability to sacrifice any decency to achieve these desires is what makes one evil and fueled Magatsuhi, for the intentions were not 'pure'.

"When the Shikon no Tama was in the custody of the miko, Kikyō, her intentions were pure, initially." He admitted. "And it was that purity which strengthened Naohi so the jewel was almost balanced within."

"Why does it's balance matter?" Rin whispered.

"The Shikon no Tama was the heart of the miko Midoriko, the most powerful spiritual power of any human ever had resided within that miko. She forced her own heart out to purify a horde of weak yōkai. But what many humans do not know is that it is also the heart of Watatsumi, and he was the most powerful daiyōkai ever sired.

"They were both gifts, from the kami, meant to bring about balance to the realms between the yōkai and the mortal worlds, but when their deaths created the Shikon no Tama that balance was condensed into a jewel and the power which radiated from it was what influenced balance in this world. For over eight and a half centuries it's purpose was balance; though it was corrupted by intentions of those who came for it.

"In the hands of the Miko, Kikyō, the Shikon no Tama did gain balance until she gave into her human desires which changed her pure intentions to selfish, which permitted Naraku to gain influence over the jewel and lead to the last fifty years of conflict which was ended by the purification of the jewel when the Miko, Kagome, decided she had no use for the jewel and her intentions of protecting it were pure of heart, which was why she and InuYasha could break the jewel.

"Breaking the jewel purified the yōkai and human souls within, but it unleashed the forces of Magatsuhi and Naohi, and when Magatsuhi was embodying Naraku he marked me to become his," Sesshōmaru explained.

"What does the mark mean?" she asked.

"It's a curse, it will sap me of my strength until my spirit is too weak to fight and is consumed by Magatsuhi and he will use my body as his own to unleash hell on this earth," he explained honestly. Sesshōmaru wasn't fool, he was aware what this mark mean and what it was doing to his body. But he could fight off the affects for a while he was hunting a way to break the curse and remove the mark. It wasn't hopeless, just difficult.

"What happens when the mark?"

"I will cease to be," he admitted.

"NO!" she shrieked as she released mokomoko and wrapped herself around him.

"Rin, release me," he ordered gently.

"NO! You can't die! You can't!" she sobbed.

"Rin, this behavior is unbecoming!"

"I don't care! You can't die! You can't leave me!" she sobbed.

"I'm not leaving or dying, I'm researching ways to break the curse, and fighting it, I also possess Tenseiga which keeps it at bay," he said.

"Then I wanna help," she decided determinedly.

"When you are well again, hai, you can help," he decided.

"I'm fine," she said. He poked her ribs which had her wincing in pain as she tried to twist away from him at that point.

"No you are not, Rin, rest," he ordered.

"You're not the boss of me, my lord!" she stated haughtily.

"Hai, I am," he countered as he handed her a script to read and let her return to hugging mokomoko for comfort. A familiar scent wafted through the air which had him looking over to where Fǔ Yáng was hiding himself. The kitsune was perched in a distant tree and had the good graces to look shy and uncertain.


July 23rd, 1987...

Nishimeya, Aomori, Japan...

It was a quiet summer, the crops had been pretty decent already which was good, these last couple of years had been a learning curb for them. Now it was a quiet night and they watched the fireflies flit about. It was that day, which had him sitting with his wife, as she held Fluffy-sama tightly in her arm and leaned on him. They sat on the ewgana, his parents and her father having turned in for the night already, and the boys camping out with some friends.

"She'd have loved this," Airi whispered suddenly, which had him looking at his wife then.

They didn't speak of her, not because of some grave taboo or anything but rather the grief. The overwhelming grief she created in their lives and marriage, they still had her photo hung up on their walls. Airi had refused to allow them to make Rin a small shrine, but he had a secret one, where he and the boys gave Rin lovely little wild flowers in the odd jars they had about, it wasn't formal, it was just enough, and Airi didn't know. Though Kazuo prayed his little girl wasn't dead he wasn't fool enough to think that she was coming back to them, it had been three years already.

"Hai, she would've," he agreed as he kissed Airi's temple.

"We never talk about her," Airi said softly.

"No, you talk about her, you can't stand to listen when we try," he admitted. His wife's grief was very much hers, and no one would reach through it to her.

"I'm sorry for that," she whispered.

"We grieve," he said. "But we also live, Airi, we had to live, for her. Rin had too much life in her to want us to fall apart, she would want us to live," Kazuo said. His little girl had had way more life in her than a thousand men could ever understand. Rin was a force, his little fiery dragon, she was life embodied.

"Remember when she found that jellyfish?" Airi asked with amusement.

"Remember when she thought it was a good idea to explore Hā'ena State Park with nothing but Fluffy-sama when a massive hurricane was hitting the islands?" he asked.

"I forgot about that," Airi chuckled. "Do you think she's alright?" she asked.

"Hai, I do," he lied. "She must be living a wild life," he said softly. His daughter had always had too much life within her to be confined within her. Rin was a lively creature. Wherever she was, he hoped she was loved and cherished and wanted.

"I'm glad you made us move here," Airi said softly. "I miss her but Tokyo was not a place to be without her."


Year 1579...

Somewhere in Shimotsuke Province, Japan...

Sesshōmaru walked through the snow as Rin was hunting, her attendants were back at the Castle, and this was the first time since the attack that Rin had left the yōkai realm. A-Un and Jaken had accompanied them.

Right now the small human was hunting, she was regaining her strength after healing now, and she moved silently through the snow, he was rather impressed. For a human she was exceptionally quiet, which was an impressive feat when one considered what he could hear.

His ears twitched as they walked through the norther territories, he kept them tuned for bears and wolves, knowing she would fend for herself but he'd really rather not have his mate broken again. He could hear the rabbits hurrying about, trying to stay small and quiet, there was a sudden sharp thwang of her bow string and a sturdy thwap a second later before blood filled the air which had him walking over to where she was retrieving her prey and walking back to him.

"I did it!" she smiled.

"Hai," he agreed.

Suddenly there was a loud crashing in the forest which had him looking around when he scented InuYasha and that miko in the air.

"I can smell him Kagome!" InuYasha shouted.

"Are you sure it's him!"

"Obviously it's him, only he stinks!"

"InuYasha! SIT!" she shouted and there was a heavy thud which had Sesshōmaru tucking his hands in his sleeves in irritation as the birds squawked noisily and took to the air. Rin winced as she took a step closer to him, he arched a brow at her, she smiled.

"Finally!" Kagome said when she emerged from the brush.

"Kon'nichiwa Kagome," Rin greeted.

"Rin! I'm so glad you're alright!" Kagome shouted coming forward, he saw his mate stiffen before she was engulfed in an embrace from the miko. "You should've brought her to me!" Kagome whirled on him which had him frowning.

"Silence," he growled, she paled as she tried to pry Rin from his side, but his mate was steadfast about remaining at his side.

"Kagome, release Rin!" InuYasha ordered.

"He should've returned her to Edo!"

"Uh… no, no he should not have," InuYasha said swiftly. "And this is a petition of loyalty from Edo and nearby provinces swearing fidelity to you and only you as their shōgun," InuYasha said.

"Nani?" he lifted a brow as he accepted the records from InuYasha.

"Yeah, baka humans are persistent," he muttered. Sesshōmaru frowned, he had had no influence on human events or human society, he had kept it that way, especially after Takemaru's death. Rin was peering over his arm at the scripts which had him glancing down at her with a bland look, she smiled a bit, he could feel her curiosity about this. "I told them you wouldn't do anything for them, but they insist, and Oshiro Nori's death left a bit of a power vacuum, apparently they want to follow you though."

"I will review the records," he said indifferently.

"We're also here for Rin!" Kagome said.

"No," he stated firmly.

"She belongs with humans!" Kagome started.

"NO!" Rin shouted. "I'm straying with Sesshōmaru-sama!" she said as she stepped out of Kagome's range to hide behind him.

"Rin, this outburst is unbecoming," he warned sharply.

"Hai, my lord," she mumbled.

"You do not hide behind me," he said firmly. "You stand here," he pulled her to his side and she nodded. "Rin is still recovering from the assault of that human bastard and will not be returning to Edo until such a time you have proven the ability to keep her safe."

"You don't have the authority!" Kagome started which had him looking over to the miko.

"Silence!" he seethed. "If you and that worthless bastard had been more attentive during the festival, and less interested in a fast rut this would not have happened. I do not make mistakes twice!" he stated.

"She needs…"

"Rin is fine with Sesshōmaru-sama, Sesshōmaru-sama has been most attentive to the care of Rin's health, Rin would be happier to stay with Sesshōmaru-sama," Rin said softly.

"Rin," he chided.

"Gomen, Sesshōmaru-sama, I will speak properly.

He nodded as he looked over at InuYasha and Kagome who were staring rather dumbly at Rin and him.

"Rin, return to Jaken," he ordered.

"Hai, my lord!" she hurried off with her rabbit but left her bow which he picked up the bow.

"Rin belongs with humans, Sesshōmaru-sama, you know this," Kagome started.

"What I know is not something you want to learn," he warned her sharply. "I am not your mate, you cannot 'SIT' me into submission so you will listen closely miko. You failed Rin. That is unacceptable, and if the price of that failure is that she never wishes to return to your custody or Edo then you will listen. I entrusted her to Kaede and InuYasha under the assurance that she would be protected, that assault happened while she was under your protection, and as a result she will decide what she will do this summer. Whether that is remaining with me or returning to Edo but she will decide and she will not be pressured either way, come for her again and I will end you."

He left them both as he caught up to Rin who was almost to the camp.

"I don't know if I want to return to Edo, my lord," she said softly.

"You will decide when you are ready, until then, you will remain where you are safe," he said firmly.

"Arigato," she whispered.

He didn't respond to that, he would do whatever it took to keep her safe. He was still livid about the assault she had survived. She should have never been put in that situation. Never. She was a pup still, she shouldn't have to worry about rapists or courting yet.

"Jaken! I got us rabbit!" Rin shouted in delight as she ran for their camp fire.

"Rin!?" Jaken sputtered as she came skidding over to him. Sesshōmaru saw A-Un lift his heads as she came into the camp and it made him soften, it was like when she was a pup. Setting her bow down with her pack he took a seat down wind of their camp and kept a vigilant look out while he watched her and Jaken argue about the rabbit.