Mako's Message: Hey. New chapter. It's late. I'm tired. Just wanted to say hi. Two chapters in one week. Go me.


Waking up to Dave in my bed would've been a lot better if I could move.

Christmas would have been a lot better if I could have moved through it too.

I'm kinda stuck on waking up to Dave in my bed with me. It was really nice. It made me feel all fuzzy. I curled up to him and wrapped my arm around him and went back to sleep.

The fuzziness was probably from the drugs though.

I'm still kinda fuzzy.

Can I just talk about Dave in my bed? Because that was the best thing to happen in weeks. The fact that it was my bed just made it even better somehow. I didn't even care that Marcus, Uncle Carl and Aunt Jasmin were there. In the house I mean. Not in the room.

I'm still kinda fuzzy.

But can you blame me? I had my best guy in my bed in my room and I got to just wrap my arms around him and pull him as close to me as I could fall asleep with my head on his chest.

I didn't even realize I'd already been asleep for like...all day. 24 actual hours. Or something. I don't know. I might have woken up a few times and just not remember it.

I slept through all of Christmas though.

Well, not ALL of christmas. I woke up and was lucid enough to get out of bed at night, and everybody had finished dinner, and they were going to go to this concert at a local church, and Jasmin asked if I felt up to going. I said yeah, without thinking about it, and Marcus took that as a huge red flag, because he said, "Oh no, if you're saying yes to that so easily then you are totally spaced out. Eat and then go back to bed."

I said, "Okay", and Dave laughed.

I think they were right. Marcus was. Because I was just piling food on a plate and Carl had to stop me before food started falling off.

He sat me at the table and I just started eating.

Delton asked, "Are you better now?"

I had to stop and think, because I wasn't sure what he was talking about at first. There really wasn't anything in my head at the time except… the time.

I'm still kind of fuzzy.

I said, "I think."

And he said, "I'm sorry I hurt you."

I still don't remember what he did. I know what he did. But I don't remember it. Just the pain. And screaming. And pain from screaming. Which lead to more screaming.

But I knew the pain, and it wasn't his fault. I told him that, and Carl, Jasmin, and Marcus all told him it wasn't his fault. But when you jump onto someone and they collapse while screaming like their lungs are being ripped out of their body it's easy to think it is.

So, I said, "You didn't do it. I've been hurting for awhile. I could've caught you easy otherwise."

He said, "Okay." and seemed like he was still upset about it.

I said, "I'll throw you around next time." That one seemed to cheer him up.

So, that's when they told me about rushing me to the emergency room, and getting x-rays, and how they had to draw fluid from my … lungs? Chest? I dunno. And they gave me some pills to kill the pain as well. Some pretty heavy duty shit as well. And two other pills to actually fix the problem. And something to help me sleep. Because apparently sleeping is really important to healing this. So between all of it I was out like a fucking light. … That's a weird phrase. Whatever.

Plus not having constant pain in my side is actually making me kinda giddy.

So I slept through half of Christmas Eve and most of Christmas.

But Dave came and spent Christmas Eve and most of Christmas Day with me anyway. Marcus told me he helped me walk to bathroom without walking into a wall, and got me water to drink….

I guess I did wake up and not remember it. Huh.

I'm still kinda fuzzy.

I'm really happy they let him stay with me.

I'm glad he decided to stay with me.

I wasn't even conscious and he spent Christmas with me.

Not how I wanted to spend all day in bed with Dave, but I'll take it.

I'm not tired but I'm still kinda fuzzy. I don't know what to do anymore. My sleep schedule is all fucked up and it's late now. I should be asleep, but well, I was asleep all day. I'd try working out but I feel floaty and my balance is kinda fucked. I'm also supposed to take it easy for at least one more day.

But I can't because I really have to shake this rust off.

So yeah.

I should go open my presents.