"No, I told you no already." Lucy hisses at the phone, I can see her through the window in the living room.
"Absolutely not, you've made your choices and I've made mine and that's the end of it." Her voice quivers, she's angry and sad, her voice always does that when she's trying to be strong about things she doesn't want to be strong about.
"I'm happy." She says more firmly.
Like last year when her dog had to be put down. She didn't want to cry, she even quoted something from her favorite book. Someone about not saying goodbye because goodbyes meant forgetting. Something like that, I'm not good at quoting things like she is. I'm more of a gist kind of guy,
"That's the end of it, Owen, don't call me again." She lets her hand drop her phone away from her ear and she sits on the stoops of the apartment building. She hangs her head between her legs, the brim of her pale pinkish fedora hitting her knees. I hate seeing her sad.
I step out and sit beside her on the steps. She doesn't even react, her eyes are closed, there's a single tear slipping down her cheek. I use my index finger to wipe it away and she jumps. Her eyes filled with her surprise.
"Natsu." She sighs and settles into an easy smile. The smile she reserves for me. "you gave me a fright." She pats her hand over her heart. I love the way she says things
"You okay?" I ask wrapping my arm around her, she leans into me and nods.
"Yeah, totally. Everything is good." She smiles and pushes herself to her feet. Her eyes are a little red but she puts on a good face.
"Who was on the phone?" I ask, she doesn't usually keep things from me.
"Oh nobody?" She waves it off and offers me her hand.
"Lucy." I shake my head at her. "You're a terrible liar."
She bites her lips and tilts her head and her eyes travel up to the sky for a moment.
"No one important." She amends bringing her eyes back to mine.
"Now we could keep talking about this." She says, "or we could go out and take a walk in the park, the same park we met in and…" she takes both of my hands and tugs me to my feet. "run into each other again."
"Are you asking to fall in love again?" I ask her. She bites her lips and looks to the sky again.
"A refresher is always good." She giggles and tugs me forward.
The park is nice, not too crowded, not too cold. Lucy bounce steps beside me, her arms locked around mine, her hair swinging behind her in her hastily thrown up pony tail. She hums a song I don't recognize as her eyes trail over the world.
"It's by Niall." She says her eyes resting on min.
"oh yeah?" I ask.
She nods "yeah, it's new; it's called Flicker." She twirls out in front of me and starts to sing out loud. I can't even focus on the words as she takes me hands and makes them dance. She holds my arm up and spins under it and she sways and she smiles and god I love her soul.
"Dance with her!" A man's voice calls out and people cheer and I let her lead me across the pavement as I take her in my arms. The crowd cheers again as I pull her close and she rests her head on my shoulder.
"I love you." I whisper to her.
"I love you." She hugs me close and pulls her back just enough for a kiss.
"In front of all these people?" I ask. She just smiles, big and beautiful and Lucy.
"What people?"
I peck her on the mouth, soft, sweet, her favorite kind of kiss. The small crowd that gathered around cheers. I look up past her and see a much older couple dancing while they sing together.
"Yeah!" Lucy cheers, her eyes misting up as she watches the older couples dancing. Their grey hair and canes and bent postures but Lucy looks at them like she's at some amazing ballet. She's bouncing on her feet and a tear slips down her cheek. I wrap my arm around her and press a kiss to her temple.
"That'll be us someday." I say.
"Yeah?" She asks.
"Promise." I say as she dabs at her eyes trying to smear her makeup.
"They're just really beautiful." She giggles, her eyes still watching the couples. Some of the crowd as taken a seat and are just watching the couple dance.
A middle-aged man sings to a little girl, she dances on his shoes and laughs, her hair is a mess, and there's something all over her mouth and chin but the man, her father, kisses her nose and spins her.
"Love is so beautiful." She wraps her arms around herself and just watches and I squeeze her to my side because I fall in love with her every time we come here. I love falling in love with her. I pull her just a little closer.
"What would you do if you were sick?" Lucy asks, her smile gentle and sad and beautiful, her eyes still on the couples.
"ask you to make me chicken soup." I chuckle. She shakes her head and finally meets my eyes.
"I mean really sick, like you could die any day, sick." Her eyes are big and there's something there that I rarely see. I don't know what it is, but I don't like it. It's like worry but different.
"Like cancer?" I ask her. she nods, her hands are clasped together. She does that when she anxious.
"If I was sick and I was dying and I could go any minute…" I think about it for a second. I'm not a big dreamer like Lucy is. I don't care about traveling the world and seeing everything like she does. I squeeze her arm.
"I'd love you, I'd love you with every single breath I have left and even when my breaths stopped, I'd figure out a way to keep loving you." A smile breaks out over her face and she wraps her arms around me and squeezes me.
The man dancing with the little girl walks past us, the little girl still spinning and singing as she trails after her dad. I wrap my arms firmly around Lucy and I can't help it, I sniff her hair just a little. It smells like flowers.
"I'll love you with every breath too." Her voice is so quiet I wonder if she really wanted me to hear her.
"Come on." She pulls away and her eyes are dry and she's got her smile on and she's got a bounce in her step. She pulls me forward. She's always pulling me forward, making me move even when I don't want to.
"Are we going to start another ball in the middle of another park?" I tease her.
She shrugs "possibly."
"Well as long as you're there." This would make a good scene for a book I can't help but think. Lucy hums and pulls me along with her.
Lucy perches on the couch with her book in her lap, her hair falls over the back of the couch and she smiles into the book. I love watching her read. She never tries to hide what she's feeling. Everything is just there on her face and there's no guessing with her.
"It's almost read." I call out to her as I strain the noodles. The sauce is already hot and the bowls are out.
"Do you need any help?" she dropped her head back over the arm of the couch to see me, her hair touches the floor.
"Nope, I got it." I wave her off "enjoy your book."
"Smells good, love muffin." She giggles and I roll my eyes, but I love it. I love it when she calls me random names. It means she's happy.
"Alright." I call to her, using the tongs to place some noodles in the bowls and ladling some sauce over it. I peek up in time to see Lucy's mouth drop and her eyes crinkle. She puts her bookmark into the book and the book on the couch as she pads over to me. she ties her hair back before hugging me from behind.
"thank you." She nuzzles my back "it smells good." I laugh and take grab the bowls.
"It's spaghetti, there's not much I could do to mess it up." I set Lucy's bowl down at the end of the table closet to the window and take the seat beside her.
"You could have burned the sauce." She takes a seat "or overcooked the noodles." She smiles and twirls the spaghetti on her spoon. She blows on it before taking the bite way to big for her mouth, she drops her head back.
"mmhmm." She sighs "so good." Her mouth is still full. I shake my head. I don't have any words as Lucy digs in and mmhhms and sighs. The truth is this is probably the blandest spaghetti she's ever had. She uses spices and adds olives and spinach and basil to hers and I heated up some canned sauce and cooked some noodles.
I take a bite of my own bowl, half expecting to taste something amazing, from Lucy's expressions but it's just as I expect. Tomato sauce on noodles. Lucy doesn't let up once though. She cleans her bowl and even gets seconds and repeats the whole thing. I laugh quietly to myself.
Her eyes drift to the window and she just enjoys the view of the city. She loves the lights, the energy, she loves the no one sleeps here.
"Wanna do something tonight?" I ask her, she nods, her eyes still entranced by the city.
"Wanna call, Grey and Juvia?" I ask, she nods again never taking her eyes from the city.
"I'll call them after I clean up." I take our bowls to the sink and grab some foil from the cabinet.
"I can call them." Lucy reaches for her phone in her pocket, keeping her eyes on the city like she's looking for something and she's afraid she's gonna miss it.
"Lucy?" I ask.
"Hhmm." She tilts her head toward me but doesn't look at me.
"You okay?" I ask. Finally, she gives me her eyes and she smiles and nods.
"Of course." She giggles a little "just thinking about the couples dancing, it was so sweet." She turns her eyes back to the window as she presses her phone to her ear.
"Yeah, it was." I agree. Lucy drifts off a lot but there's something bothering her, and that phone call she got. She must be waiting for the right time to tell me.
"Juvia!" Lucy shrieks louder than I anticipate. I can here Juvia on the other line, shriek just as loud.
"let's do something tonight." Lucy is all excited now, her eyes bright as she stares out the window.
"Oh my goodness, yes!" Lucy hops out of the chair.
"Yes, glow up for sure so we can get some pictures while we're out." Lucy giggles at something Juvia says and leans back against the window frame.
I tuck the spaghetti and the sauce in the fridge for an equally unsatisfying breakfast tomorrow. Lucy hangs up and turns to me.
"Where to?" I ask.
"We're going to the ball." She bounds past me and down the hall. I smile, that was the place I took her for our first date.
Hey, you,
I didn't leave. They need me but I need me too. I don't know how much time I have but I guess this is it. I guess this was card I was dealt and I just have to deal with it. I guess I just have to suck it up.
I want to be free, I just want to be free of him.
