Sam and Luna were hanging out in the living room of the Loud house. They were watching a zombie movie together.
"This is so cheesy." said Sam. "The zombies are slow, just power walk away from them." she yelled at the screen
Luna laughed "Totally dude."
"At least I have someone to laugh at it with me." said Sam.
Luna blushed. "I could hang out with Sam forever." she said to herself.
"Aww, it's so cute to see you two spending so much time together." said Lori.
"Lori, how long have you been standing there?" asked Luna.
"Don't worry about that." said Lori. "Let's talk about why I'm doing this dance." Lori was doing a jittery tap dance with her feet.
"Oh no," said Luna. "She tapped into Lola's sugar stash again."
"Literally wrong." said Lori. "It's because today is the greatest day of my life." She shoved a flyer in Luna's face. "Boyz Will Be Boyz is playing at the Royal Woods civic center tonight."
"Ugh Boyz Will Be Boyz, aren't they that boy band that came two decades too late?" said Luna. "You know all those boy bands are fake right?"
"Luna's right," said Sam. "They're just a manufactured product of the bloated corporate music industry."
"You're literally making my dance sad." said Lori.
"There's probably a machine that mass produces them." said Luna.
"Or maybe the boys are grown from pods." said Sam. Her and Luna started to laugh.
"You can't ruin this for me." said Lori. "I'm not the only Loud who still likes boy bands."
Just then Lola and Leni came down the stairs wearing Boyz Will Be Boyz shirts and foam fingers.
"Hey everyone!" exclaimed Leni.
"Who's ready for literally the greatest night of our lives?" asked Lori.
"Who are our favorite boyz? Boyz Will Be Boyz!" the three shouted as they ran off.
"Ugh, straight girls." muttered Luna.
"I know right." said Sam.
Lori and Lola ran into the dining room, while Leni ran into the wall. "I'm okay." she said before correcting her path and following her two sisters into the dining room.
Lori, Leni, and Lola were readying themselves for the concert in Lori and Leni's bedroom.
"Should I go with lip balm or lip salve?" Lola asked rhetorically.
"Go wild." replied Leni. "Tonight is our night."
"I can't wait!" exclaimed Lola. "Tonight we're gonna meet Jerry G, Tony C, Ralphie V, Davey Z, and Deep Craig.
"And those boys will totes fall in love with us." said Leni.
"Why wouldn't they?" said Lola. "We are the three prettiest Loud sisters."
Lori Leni and Lola all laughed snarkily.
Luna was walking Sam back to her place. "Thanks for the afternoon Lunes." said Sam.
"Anytime." replied Luna.
"Hey Sam." came the voice of Sully.
"Oh, hey Sully." said Sam not very enthusiastically.
"So some friends of mine are going to the lake this weekend, maybe we should go too." said Sully leaning in toward Sam.
"Are you serious!?" exclaimed Sam shoving him away. "First you bailed on our date last night, and instead of apologizing you want me to go with you to the lake?"
Luna was standing nearby watching the situation unfold.
"Look Sully, I don't think this relationship is working." said Sam. "Maybe we should see other people."
At the sound of this Luna held both her arms up with her goats extended in victory. She leaned down and picked up a young boy passing by on the sidewalk and hugged him tight.
"Uh, hi." said the boy in confusion.
"Hang on, before you do anything hasty." said Sully. "I want you to hear this." Sully pulled a CD out of his pocket and placed it into a battery operated CD player. "I wrote this just for you."
"Why does he always carry that on him?" Luna asked herself.
"When I think about you. I feel feelings so deep. I'm tossing and turning, and you know I'm losing sleep. And I know I'm going crazy when I look into your eyes. Just listen to this song, and you'll be hypnotized."
"That song was bogus." muttered Luna.
"You know, maybe I was being harsh." said Sam. "I'll give you another chance."
"Thanks Sam!" said Sully.
"I just can't believe you wrote that song for me." said Sam.
"Yeah, I am wickedly talented." boasted Sully.
Sam led Sully inside her house, but he left his CD and CD player behind, the former of which Luna grabbed.
Luna took the CD back to the Loud house. "How did Sully do that?" she asked out loud.
Meanwhile, Lori Leni and Lola had just arrived at the Boyz Will Be Boyz Concert.
"Okay girls. Have you all practiced your obsessed boy band scream?" asked Lori.
Leni screamed, followed by Lola, then Flip appeared behind the girls and screamed as well.
"Literally going to ignore that." said Lori.
The three Loud sisters approached the ticket booth. "Tickets please."
"Sorry girls, the show is sold out." said the ticket vendor.
"This night is totes ruined." sighed Leni.
"I welcome you, death." muttered Lori.
"No!" said Lola. "We came here to meet Boyz Will Be Boyz tonight and that's what we're going to do. I am not going to let a keep out sign keep us out!"
Lynn Sr was in the kitchen cooking dinner when Luna walked in holding the CD and still pondering Sully's song.
"Hey sweetie." said Lynn Sr. "You look like you have something on your mind."
"I dunno if you'd understand pops." said Luna.
"Try me." said Lynn Sr taking off his oven mitts.
"Well this is going to sound bonkers but I think Sully might be brainwashing Sam with music."
Lynn Sr nodded. "I've seen this before."
"You have?" asked Luna.
"Her name was Jennifer McLovatt. Jennifer 'Cowbell' McLovatt." said Lynn Sr. "When I spent a college semester in England, long before I met your mother, me and Jennifer loved to jam out together with our cow bells in our favorite 60s themed 1980s pub. But then one day this computer geek shows up with his crazy automatic techno music. Jennifer dropped the cowbell and turned to that computer geek faster than I could say 'pip pip'."
"So you believe my theory?" asked Luna.
"You're darn right I do." said Lynn Sr. "And we're gonna get to the bottom of it."
After the concert had ended, Lori Leni and Lola were sneaking around the backstage area.
"Boyz Will Be Boyz, where are you?" called out Leni. "We want to give you kisses that will be kisses."
"There!" Lola pointed to a door with a Boyz Will Be Boyz logo on it.
The three Loud sisters rushed toward the door.
"This is it." said Lori. "We're finally going to meet the five cutest boys in the world. Luna is going to eat her words that boy bands are fake." Lori opened the door only to see cloning tubes, and the five members of Boyz Will Be Boyz inside a cage as if they were human sized hamsters.
"Yo, were clones dawg." said Tony C to the other four band members.
"O" said Lola.
"M" said Lori.
"Gosh." said Leni. "That is one big hamster tube."
"Shh! Someone's coming!" said Lori pulling Lola and Leni behind a clothes rack as the door opened again.
In walked Doug from America's next hitmaker.
"That was a terrible show! What is wrong with you boys!?" he exclaimed. "You barely sold out the arena. And Deep Craig, you call that a pout?"
Deep Craig pouted even harder after hearing this.
"Every one of you should be ashamed of yourselves, except for you Davey Z you were really on point tonight, here you go gorgeous." Doug tossed Davey Z a log sized hamster treat which he immediately started gnawing into.
"As for the rest of you, remember you can always be replaced by your brothers." Doug turned to one of the cloning tubes. "Dance for me boy! Dance!" the boy in the tube danced flawlessly.
"Ahahaha!" Doug walked out the room. After he left, The three Loud girls emerged.
"Who goes there?" asked Deep Craig. "Prepare to be danced at." The clone started to dance toward the edge of the cage where Lori, Leni and Lola were standing.
Ralphie V stood in Deep Craig's way. "Step off Deep Craig. She's a lady, don't disrespect her bro."
"My bad." said Deep Craig. "Let's pose for these fans poster style."
The five all posed in the position from one of their many posters.
The three girls squealed with glee.
"Trying hard not to let my brain explode!" said Leni.
"It would be a small explosion." said Lola. "I've always wanted to meet you guys, but what was the deal with that greedy corporate music guy?"
"Mr. Doug is our producer yo."
"He genetically engineered us to be the perfect boy band gee."
"But he keeps us in cages, that junk is straight brutal girl."
"That is straight brutal Tony C." said Lola.
"Our one dream is to escape into the real world, for real." said Ralphie V. "Yo I've heard of these things called trees. I don't know what they are, but I wanna kiss one."
"But we can't disobey Mr. Doug, he said he loves us." said Jerry G.
"But if he loved you he'd set you free." said Lola.
"That is a valid perspective." said Tony C.
Leni used one of her hair pins to pick the lock on the cage and open up the door.
"Let's go right now," said Lola. "My sisters and I can help you escape."
"We're masters of stealth!" shouted Leni at the top of her lungs.
"Yo, you'd really do that for us beef?" asked Tony C.
You can count on me." said Lola. "And did you just call me beef?"
Luna and Lynn Sr sat down together at the dining room table.
"You see Luna," said her father. "Music has subliminal mind control hidden in it all the time. If you listen closely, even the music I play in the restaurant has subtle hidden messages."
[][][][][][][]
A family was sitting in a booth at Lynn's Table contemplating their orders when Lynn Sr's voice screeched over the speakers. "Buy more appetizers!"
The family all covered their ears and moaned in pain at the noise.
[][][][][][][]
"If you want to hear the mind controlling messages, you have to slow down the playback." Lynn Sr pulled out a record player and put the CD on it. He and Luna stared at the CD spinning on the record player as the needle made a piercing screeching noise against it.
"Oh, right." said Luna.
"We're doing something wrong here but I can't put my finger on it." said Lynn Sr.
Just then Lori Leni and Lola came in the front door carrying a very large duffle bag.
"Sup dudes." said Luna. "How was the concert, and what's in the bag?"
"Literally none of your business." said Lori as she, Leni and Lola carried the bag up the stairs. They brought the duffle bag into Lori and Leni's room and unzipped it. The five members of Boyz Will Be Boyz poured out.
"Your tour bus is really strange Lola girl." said Davey Z. "Where the feeding tubes at?"
"Yo what up girl?" said Deep Craig petting Cliff on the head.
The three girls giggled at their successful mission.
"So when do we get to go outside?" asked Tony C.
"I wanna run free like a woodland creature." said Jerry G.
Lori looked out the window hearing the sound of a car pulling up in front of the house. "It's your producer." she said.
The members of Boyz Will Be Boyz all gasped as Leni and Lola ushered them into the closet.
"Can't believe those boys escaped from their cage." muttered Doug getting out of his limo.
Luan and Lana were both in the front yard. Luan was chatting and making jokes with her wooden dummy Mr. Coconuts. Lana was playing with the dog Charles.
"You there!" shouted Doug pointing at Luan. "I found this trail of frosted tips leading to this very location. Have you seen any perfect boys around here?"
"Only when I look in the mirror." Luan said through Mr. Coconuts. "Up top!" Luan held one of Mr. Coconuts wooden arms up for a high five. When Doug did not return the high five Luan high fived him instead.
"They must be around here somewhere. I'll find those boys if I have to turn this town upside down." said Doug.
Charles was gnawing at the limo's license plate as Doug stepped back into it and the vehicle drove off. Charles managed to rip the rear license plate off and continued chewing on it.
"Good boy Charles." said Lana.
"Guys it's not safe out there, Doug is still looking for you." said Lola.
"What do we do?"
"Aw dang."
"I'm scared Lola."
"Don't worry guys, he has to give up eventually." said Lola. "And in the meantime you can stay here with us."
All of the guys made excited remarks.
"Girls, do you realize what this means? We have our very own pet boy band we can do whatever we want with." said Lola.
"Remember, eventually we have to let them go." said Lori. "We have to promise not to get too attached to them. Right Lola? Lola?"
"All aboard the braid train." said Lola. Her and the five band members had formed a conga line of each person braiding the hair of the person in front of them, Lola at the front.
Lori and Leni looked at Lola with nervous looks on their faces, they both had feelings of what could soon happen.
"What?" asked Lola.
Rita walked past the dining room and saw a boy band out of the corner of her eye. She turned back and this time saw nothing. She shrugged and walked away, figuring she was only seeing things.
The five band members along with Lori, Leni and Lola were all hiding under the dining room table.
Lori Leni and Lola tried to teach Boyz Will Be Boyz how to drink out of regular cups, with little success. They sucked on the cup's edges, licked the cup, and flung the liquid in the cup backwards hitting each other in the face.
Lori Leni and Lola rode different members of the band through the upstairs hallway like racehorses.
The five members of Boyz Will Be Boyz gathered around Lola in a hug. Lori and Leni tried to get in on the hug too but Lola held out a hand stopping them.
"Just a few more minutes." said Lola.
"But-"
Leni was interrupted as Lola hissed like a cat and gave her two older sisters a menacing glare. She and Lori backed up and exchanged nervous glances.
"Well popstar it took all day but I converted Sully's CD to a record." said Luna. "So now we can slow it down to see if there really is a hidden message in this tune."
"I'm prepared to have my mind blown." said Lynn Sr.
Luna put the record onto the player and lowered the speed all the way down as she started a tape recorded. She and her father listened but just heard the song slowed down.
"Hm, that's not worthy of making my mind explode." said Lynn Sr.
Luna began to fidget with the speed dial. "Bogus! There really is no hidden message. Sam just likes the song, she just likes Sully."
Just then a knock came at the front door. Lynn Sr got up and answered it. It was Sam with her arm around Sully.
"Hi Mr. Loud." said Sam. "I think I left my jacket the last time I was here."
Lynn Sr gestured for Sam to come inside as she started to look around the living room.
"Skull shirt." said Sully nodding at Luna with a cocky grin.
"Sully." Luna nodded back.
"Found it." said Sam. "Ready to go to the lake Sully?"
"Hundred percent." replied Sully. "Later nerds, I'll catch you on the rewind." he and Sam left the house.
"I'll rewind your face punk!" retorted Lynn Sr.
"What a second, pops! Rewind!" said Luna. She spun the record backwards with her finger. "You are now under my control, your mind is mine." could be heard coming from the speaker.
Lynn Sr made an explosion sound effect as he made an explosion hand gesture next to his head. "Now that's a mind blower."
"I knew it!" exclaimed Luna. "Oh man, I gotta help Sam!"
"Finally a good reason to punch a teenager in the face." said Lynn Sr. "Let's roll."
Luna and Lynn Sr rushed out the front door just as Lola came down the stairs. She walked into the kitchen where Lori and Leni were congregating.
"How'd it go up there?" asked Lori.
"I finally got them to sleep." replied Lola. "Poor Jerry G, he tried to eat a tape dispenser."
"Hey Lols," said Lori. "I just got a notification from the News App on my phone that Doug has been arrested."
"Really?" said Lola.
The three girls rushed into the living room and turned the TV to the News channel.
"The music industry was shaken today at the news that boyband king Doug has been arrested. He was pulled over tonight for not having a rare license plate." said the reporter.
The screen cut to a shot of Doug being arrested.
"I'm telling ya, some dog ate it." said Doug.
"That's what they all say." said the cop.
The screen cut back to the anchors.
"He is now in county jail awaiting trial."
"Yay!" exclaimed Leni.
"We have to tell the boys they're literally free now!" said Lori.
Lori and Leni rushed up the stairs, Lola quickly following them.
"Not so fast." said Lola, blocking the door to her bedroom. "They're not going anywhere."
"Why not?" said Leni. "That evil producer is in jail now. We have to tell the boys."
"Let's not be so hasty." said Lola. "Think about it, if we don't tell the boys then they can stay here with me, I mean us."
"Lola we can't keep them here forever." said Leni.
"But I love them." said Lola.
"If you love them you need to set them free." said Lori.
"NEVER!" shouted Lola.
"Lori, we have to get past Lola, she's gone boy crazy." said Leni.
The two teens looked at each other and charged at the door. Shoving Lola into the room with them.
"You guys!" shouted Leni. "Doug is in jail! You're free!"
"Just go!" shouted Lori.
"Is that true Lola Dawg?" asked Ralphie V.
"Uh no." replied Lola. "Your producer is still out there. You're gonna have to stay here, probably forever."
"What, that's not true." said Leni.
"You can't listen to her." said Lori.
"Lola is our girl, girl." said Deep Craig. "She puts pizza in our food trough."
"She changes my newspaper yo." said Tony C. "She's aight."
"She is not aight Tony C." said Leni.
"Boyz Will Be Boyz!" said Lola.
"Yes Lola Dawg." replied the five band members.
"Remove these two from my bedroom please." said Lola.
The members of Boyz Will Be Boyz nodded and directed their attention to the two oldest Loud sisters.
"Oh no, they're aggressively dancing at us." said Leni. "Lola has gone mad with power!"
The five band members picked up Lori and Leni and threw them out of Lola's bedroom door before closing it.
"Call me Deep Craig!" shouted Leni from the other side.
Deep Craig turned and locked the door in response.
"Huh, thank you boys." said Lola. "Now let's get aboard the braid train."
"Things just got pretty heavy Lola, maybe we should all just like, chill for a min-"
"I said let's get aboard the braid train!" shouted Lola.
All of the boys flinched in fear at Lola's aggression.
Luna and Lynn Sr were zooming along the road in Vanzilla.
"We gotta warn Sam about that song before she gets brainwashed!" shouted Luna.
"Well there is this shortcut to the lake I know of but I don't know, it would be really dangerous. The pathway is only meant for hikers." said Lynn Sr.
"Please popstar, it's for love." said Luna in a British accent with puppy dog eyes.
"Oh fine." sighed Lynn Sr. "Road safety laws, prepare to be ignored."
Lynn Sr veered Vanzilla off the main road and onto a small path, crashing through a do not enter sign.
Meanwhile at the lake, Sam and Sully were in Sully's car all by themselves. Sully's car was parked on the edge of the road right before the pavement turned into sand.
"Huh weird. None of my friends showed up." said Sully. "I guess it's just you and me. This isn't what I was planning at all."
Just then Vanzilla crashed through some foliage and skidded onto the pavement. Luna rushed out of the van.
"Sam! Stop! Sully's been lying to you!" Luna said through pants.
"Luna?" said Sam rolling down the window.
"Skull shirt? Mr. Loud?" said Sully.
"That's Mr. Loud to you." said Lynn Sr sternly.
"What? That's what I just said." said Sully.
"Sam, you've gotta pick up what this recording is about to lay down." said Luna pulling out a tape recorder.
Lola was sitting on her bed drinking and Ice Tea Lemonade. Lana was feeding Hops.
"So you have your own pet boy band now?" asked Lana.
"Yep." said Lola.
"That seems a little irregular." said Lana. "Cause those are people right?"
"Come on Lans." said Lola. "With all the pets you have it's only fair I can have pets too."
Lana shrugged, and opened up her overall pocket for Hops to jump into which he did. "Come on Hops, let's go to the pond."
As Lana exited the bedroom the members of Boyz Will Be Boyz entered.
"Lola, you've gotta hear this. It's a song we wrote to say thank you." said Ralphie V.
"Ooooh!" said Lola in excitement.
"Here comes our Lola girl. We dreamed of being free. But now we know that that can never be. You know what sisters are all about, you kicked those lying blondies out." the boys sang.
"I'm starting to feel guilty." said Lola.
"Who's the girl who's so aiight? Tucks us into bed at night. Holds the fan up while we sing. Keeps me entertained with string. My shirt was wrinkled, till she pressed it. Chews our food, so we can digest it. He was evil, mean and reckless, you gave me this candy necklace." the boys rapped.
"Sup girl. Other folks we could never trust, but we know, that you'd never lie to us." sang Davey Z in a solo.
"Lola girl, we know you love us sooo."
"And that's why I have to let you go." finished Lola.
Luna started to play the recording. "There's a message in there I swear." she said.
"I'm just gonna close the window." said Sully reaching for the button.
"Here it is!" shouted Luna.
"You are now under my control, your mind is mine." said a slowed down voice from the tape recorder.
"Uh Sully, what's that doing in our song?" asked Sam.
"Baby I promise, I don't know anything about those messages." said Sully. "In fact, I didn't even write that song. I ripped it off some other band. So we're all good right?"
"No, we're not all good." said Sam. "I don't care about the messages, you said you wrote that song for me and I actually thought it was sweet you big liar."
"I know, I lie about a lot of things." sighed Sully.
"You know what? It's over Sully! We're through!" said Sam.
"What? Sam!"
"Goodbye." snapped Sam getting out of Sully's car and storming away.
"Haha we did it!" exclaimed Lynn Sr. "This is a victory for anyone who plays music from a decade older than the 1990s."
"Couldn't have done it without you popstar." said Luna. The father and daughter high fived. Luna then ran off the catch up with Sam.
"Hey Sam." called out Luna. "Now that your night is free, would you wanna have jam session or-"
"Are you serious!? Right now?" Sam cut her off. "What is wrong with you musical types? You only think about yourselves! All of you should leave me alone!" Sam turned back and continued walking away.
"Aw man." muttered Sully burying his head into the steering wheel.
"Hey if it makes you feel any better Cowbella is coming up two weekends from now." said Lynn Sr to Sully. "If you're you know, into that kind of music."
Lori and Leni slowly exited their bedroom into the hallway.
"We've got to save the boys." said Lori.
"I'm prepared to defend myself." said Leni holding up a toothbrush.
When they reached Lola's door Lola opened it and stepped out wearing a remorseful face.
"Hi guys, I'm sorry I went crazy." said Lola. "A catchy song made me realize that you were right. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Of course Lols." said Lori. "You're our sister."
The three sisters hugged.
"Hey Lola girl, you said you had something you wanted to show us or some deal." said Tony C.
"Yes." said Lola. "Follow me."
Lola led the Boyz Will Be Boyz members down the stairs and to the front door.
"I want to show you… this." Lola said, opening the door. The early morning sun hitting all of them in the face.
"Yo dawg! Who is this big round bright fool?" asked Jerry G.
"That Jerry G is the sun." replied Lola.
"That fool's making my eyes burn straight painful." said Ralphie V. "Imma stare him down." Ralphie V stared at the sun until his eyes burned even worse and he had to look away.
Yo yo hold up, what's this big green mess?" asked Deep Craig.
"That's nature Deep Craig." said Lola. "Doug won't bother you anymore. You can do anything you wanna do, go anywhere you wanna go. You're free."
"Fuh-ree?" asked Tony C.
"Free. You're free. It means you can skidaddle." said Lola. "Now go, go!"
The boys stepped off the porch of the Loud house and onto their front yard. They turned to look back at Lola, Lori and Leni.
"Get out of here before I change my mind." said Lola, tearing up. She turned and sniffled into Lori's midsection. Lori wrapped her arms around the small pageant princess in a hug.
The five members of Boyz Will Be Boyz stepped out onto the sidewalk.
"Goodbye girl." they sang in harmony as they stepped down the sidewalk.
Lola, Lori and Leni all stood on the porch watching the boys until they were out of sight.
"They won't last a week." said Leni.
"Literally." said Lori.
Luna and Lynn Sr sat at the dining room table eating some leftovers from the fridge.
"Women." muttered Lynn Sr. "They're the real mystery. You do everything you can to win back their affection, including sending them flowers and chocolates on a daily basis, and somehow you're considered a creep and a stalker."
"No it's my bad," sighed Luna. "I shouldn't have gotten all up in Sam's grill like that. She probably hates me now."
"Cheer up sweetie, you were trying to do the right thing." said Lynn Sr. "Even though you destroyed a relationship and a good portion of Vanzilla."
"You think she'll forgive me?" asked Luna.
"I bet she will." replied Lynn Sr. "And until then, you can always have jam sessions with me."
"Thanks pops." said Luna.
"Anytime kiddo." replied Lynn Sr. The middle aged man then perked his head up. "Huh? Is something rooting through our trash?"
Lynn Sr stepped out the back door and looked around the side of the house to see Tony C from Boyz Will Be Boyz with his face buried in their trash can.
"Hey! Get out of there!" shouted Lynn Sr.
Tony C perked his head up out of the trash can and ran away on all fours down the sidewalk.
"Ding dang beautiful men." muttered Lynn Sr. "Always eating out of the trash. Wait what?"
