(Hey everyone, I know it's been a minute since the last update, but between work, health, and writing my novel series 'Those Who Dwell in the Dark'- it's been a struggle to keep it all together. But, importantly, I have no intention of abandoning this story. Hopefully I can continue to pull you guys in, and I hope I do a good enough job at it. And hey, if you enjoy my writing, check out my books! Would help me immensely and hell, maybe one day I can quit my job so I can write a hell of a lot more. Happy reading!)
Two Months Later
"Shirou, I swear to God, if you break one more enchantment crystal I'm going to liquify your insides," Rin growled from Shirou's back porch.
Taiga popped her head out from inside, looking at Rin with a fear in her eyes that was seldom seen.
"You sure know how to pick em' Emiya," she called out to the red-haired boy currently working with manic energy inside the shed.
"Will you two keep quiet?!" he finally shouted from inside, "I can't concentrate!"
A bright green light flashed from inside. Taiga looked down at Rin, whose previous disapproving scowl now turned to a wry smile. She was happy her tutelage had given Shirou, a previously thought model of patience, the slightest bit of a temper.
"He's not going to hurt himself, is he?" Taiga asked as the light seemed to flicker on and off as a faint hum permeated the air.
"Regrettably, no," Rin said with a chuckle.
Taiga raised her eyebrow disapprovingly.
"Regrettably?" she asked.
She liked Rin, all things considered. When it came to Shirou, they were basically on the same page. Both gave him a hard time, but both cared for him deeply. However, Taiga was never fully able to read if Rin meant her quips aimed at him.
"Regrettably," she repeated with a small sigh and a flimsy smile, "Shirou would be far less expensive to replace than my alchemy supplies he's been burning through,"
Taiga didn't ever pretend to know what half the things they talked about even were anymore. She had to learn to roll with the punches after she asked Illya to explain to her what exactly a 'Noble Phantasm' was- which nearly gave her an aneurysm.
"Well, keep him alive as long as you can," Taiga said, her concern melting, "Illya and I will be done with lunch here soon,"
Rin nodded as she turned her attention back to Shirou, prompting Taiga to head back inside before she worried herself too much over him.
Smoke began to seep out of the window as the lights faded. It was like Shirou was in an outhouse that had a rave going on inside it.
Rin checked her watch, nearly shivering because of the cold. It had been relentless this winter, which she didn't care for, especially considering the safest place to train was outside, adjacent to where Shirou had that measly little magical shed workshop. She didn't mean to be impatient, but the snow and wind tended to make the experience a bitter one whilst waiting. She could also smell whatever it was they were making inside, and was anxiously awaiting to find out what exactly it was.
"You had better not be using tracing on those stones Shirou!" she called out.
"I'm not!" he said after a brief pause and the sound of something clattering onto the floor, "It would kinda defeat the purpose a little!"
His shouting was a bit less bitterly impassioned and more just trying to get Rin to properly hear him.
Teaching Shirou the bases of all magic, stuff that young mages could learn as soon as they turned ten or so, was no easy task. Part of why magic came so easily in those years was that they coincided with puberty for a lot of kids. As the mind slowly develops, magical abilities do too. So teaching the fundamentals to someone who'd grown up a little bit already without them was hard. Shirou was remarkable at tracing and similarly physical and structural magic, but everything else proved to be a royal pain in the ass. Rin was determined, if occasionally frustrated, and Shirou himself felt similarly. One thing was undeniable though: he was making progress. Rin also liked that her first pupil was a bit troublesome, so it felt like an extra challenge. If she ever got around to being an instructor, which she tossed around occasionally, she'd probably think it was a breeze after this.
Shirou could also cut a lot of corners with his current skill set, but that conversely would just sidestep the entire point of his learning all of this. Before, Shirou's niche abilities were an asset because he was forced to employ them to a very specific extreme. Now, he had to be far more well-rounded.
"Just checking," she said, trying to ease up on her tone and let him concentrate.
Another flash of bright green light occurred, Rin was worried at the state the makeshift lab was going to be in.
"Ha! I did it!" he said right before going into a coughing fit.
Rin's smile returned as she stood up, walking towards the shed, hopeful she'd find something that would allow them to go back inside instead of trying this exercise again. She was freezing.
She would've been lying if she said she wouldn't have been proud, though. However, she also worried she was about to walk in on an alchemical nightmare abomination he could've created by mistake.
Rin peeked inside, bracing herself for potential horror. Thankfully, she was greeted to the sight of Shirou standing above a now-glowing crystal in the center of the room in the middle of a summoning circle. All the crystals she'd provided him with (save for the ones that were broken) were floating around it, orbiting it while emitting a faint humming noise.
She looked at Shirou, who currently looked like a child waiting to be praised for building an exceptional sandcastle. God he was such a doofus.
"Well done, Shirou," she said, giving him an enthusiastic but light punch to the shoulder, "Maybe next time you can do it without destroying several thousands of dollars worth of reagents,"
Shirou's look of faint pride disappeared and he gave a sigh of disappointment.
"It's not my fault you pay inordinate amounts of money for that stuff! And you're rich!" he said.
Rin tried not to snicker.
"Rich and hungry," she said, nearly pulling the boy out of the shed by his shirt collar, "Let's get some lunch, boy wonder,"
"Rin I'm six months older than you," he said plainly.
Christ, I'm going to have to teach this guy how to have a proper sense of humor, too.
Once everyone got their food and got settled in, it didn't take long for Shirou and Rin to start butting heads about his progress in recent weeks. Sakura was perhaps the only one wise to her sister's shenanigans, knowing she just liked getting a rise out of the virtuous redhead. Illya always played mediator, hating any form of conflict whatsoever since she wasn't good at gaging what was sincere and what was a bit more playful. It didn't help that Shirou was so naturally trusting and immune to anything that wasn't total sincerity, which led her to become a bit of a compulsive placater.
It was night and day with Sakura and Illya, who were largely doing the same thing in regards to forming a 'master and pupil' dynamic. Sakura's abilities had returned in full force a month previously, but she still had to relearn a lot of the things she already knew. Illya, naturally, was happy to spend time with her and try to enhance her magical knowledge. She had to conceal how enthusiastic she truly was to be around… well, anyone, really. She was awkward and bubbly and generally a bit of a mess, but she knew her stuff. The younger Tohsaka girl quickly grew warm to her, thankfully, as being in a comfortable environment allowed her to come out of her shell a bit more. In a lot of ways, Illyasviel embodied a lot of what Sakura wanted to be. She was unapologetically herself, always said whatever came to mind, and had a confidence about her that rivaled even Rin. What separated the two was mainly down to poise and restraint, which her older sister had plenty of. Illya on the other hand was so aloof that these things were of little consequence to her.
Despite their obvious differences, both the Emiya and Tohsaka households had become places full of life that had previously not been there, and everyone was fairly grateful for it. Taiga especially, who was getting along with Illya far better with time, was just happy to see her departed friend's progeny be so happy. It was comforting. Even if she didn't know everything in regards to the four of them having sordid pasts, she knew far more than she let on.
She was also ahead of the curve on noticing a few things that she didn't think the others were privy to yet. For example: Sakura and Illyasviel.
Over the course of the last month, all four of them spent a lot more time together. They'd all been exempted from attending school because of the Clock Tower's willingness to get them on the road to attending their establishment, seeing as they were all some shade of magical nobility at this point. This led their lifestyle to being far more similar to that of college students with a surprising abundance of free time. After Shirou had told her about the Grail War, she was unbothered by the fact that they weren't necessarily undergoing any formal education. They deserved a break. She would've been far more worried normally, but discovered quickly how responsible each of them were. Rin had basically grown up as an adult since her father died, and Sakura was right there behind her. Shirou couldn't get into trouble if he tried, and Illya was just happy to be there at all. But, this all still meant they had a lot of spare time.
Illya, being the enthusiastic girl she was, always wanted to do something with the others. Shirou quickly caught onto this perhaps being a not-so-subtle manifestation of her desire to engage in the social activities she'd missed out on her entire life, and quietly encouraged the others to humor her. It didn't take a lot of 'humoring' since they were happy to, so a lot of off-time they had consisted of trips into the city, going out and getting food, shopping, seeing movies, and going over to each other's houses for sleepovers. Rin was perhaps the only one of them who took their time adjusting to this, as she'd been antisocial mostly through her own will. Even she, prickly as she was, got used to it.
But as the weeks passed, Taiga saw Sakura and Illya spending more time together on their own. Often totally unprompted. She could tell it was partially because of Illya's unwieldy energy and Sakura's desire to please everyone around her that led to a lot of unexpected adventures, but the two both seemed so caught up in living with their newfound sense of freedom that it totally went over their heads just how much they liked spending time with each other.
Maybe she was being overly perceptive, but she could've sworn there was something there. Only time would tell.
"Hey, do you and Shirou want to come over tonight? Rin wanted to order pizza," Sakura asked Illya out of the blue.
Taiga grinned. Right on cue.
"I'm down," Shirou said, "I could eat a horse after trying to mess with those crystals for two hours,"
Illya was still chewing her food, but nodded enthusiastically. Rin, however, uncharacteristically blushed.
"I said pizza sounded nice like an hour ago. I didn't say I was gonna order one…"
Shirou elbowed her gently. It was mildly hilarious that it was her of all people that was slow on the uptake.
"Oh, well… I mean, sure," she said, "That sounds like a wonderful idea,"
Sakura snickered. She was trying. Illya just had a silly smile on her face.
"I've never had pizza before," the white-haired girl commented.
Shirou raised his eyebrow.
"Seriously? Never?" he inquired.
She shook her head.
"Important thing to consider: I still have not had like, ninety percent of normal foods," she said, "I had a peanut butter sandwich for the first time a week ago when Sakura made me one for lunch,"
Moments like this always threw Taiga for a loop, just what kind of childhood did this girl actually have?
"Then this isn't just a meal, this is a moral imperative," Shirou said with good-natured enthusiasm, "How about we go pick a movie to rent and then we can head over to your place?"
Sakura nodded.
"Perfect!" she said, "It's a date,"
Shirou and Illya, after cleaning up after lunch and having some down time with the others, elected to head out and get groceries, stop by Blockbuster, and grab the pizza at the end of their errand-running so they could head right over to Rin and Sakura's place. Any excuse to go out to the city while it was snowing was worth it to see the look on Illya's face as she looked at her surroundings with occasional wonder.
They got their grocery shopping out of the way early so they could window-shop a bit before grabbing a movie. Mainly so Shirou could have an idea of something to buy her for her birthday. Illya didn't actually know when her birthday was because of her parents being absent, so he'd spoken to Sakura, Rin, and Taiga about throwing together something small for her the following week. He did his best to inconspicuously take notes throughout the entire afternoon at the shopping center.
They arrived at Blockbuster and Shirou eyed his sister looking at each movie cover with a gleam in her eye, as she usually did.
"Whatcha in the mood for?" Shirou asked inquisitively.
"Hm," she pondered, eyes evaluating everything immediately in front of her, "Maybe horror? I liked that one we watched last week,"
Poltergeist. That had been fun. Rin had unflinchingly declared the experience quite boring, seeing as she'd encountered much scarier things in real life. Shirou enjoyed it, but not quite as much as he enjoyed seeing Illya and Sakura absolutely mortified by it, frightenedly holding onto each other through the entire second half.
"Makes sense," he said with a sly smile, "Gives you an excuse to have Sakura cling to you for an hour again, huh?"
He spiritedly elbowed her right before she had time to be properly confused by what he said. She blushed.
"P-Pardon?" she asked.
Shirou rolled his eyes and gave her a faint glare.
"Oh come on, Illya. You like her! Even I'm not dense enough to miss it," he teasingly insisted.
Illya looked like she'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
"Do not! You're delusional," she said, attempting to dismiss the notion.
"You're a terrible liar," he scoffed.
"That's… uh…" Illya trailed off and sighed, "Yeah I guess I am,"
Shirou smiled and put his hand on her shoulder.
"Being a terrible liar has its perks," he said, "Means people don't ever have to worry about trusting you,"
Illya sheepishly smiled, but it immediately vanished when she made eye contact with the boy.
"You'd better not tell a soul," she huffed, "I don't know… what to… yeah I have no idea what to do about any of that,"
Her tone became gradually more and more defeated as her sentence progressed.
"Sounds like you need advice," Shirou said knowingly.
Illya sighed and let out a faint smile.
"You know, I have it on good authority you're just as awkward as I am with this kinda stuff," she pointed out, "But at this point I'll take whatever I can get,"
"By 'good authority' you mean Rin?" Shirou asked.
Illya nodded.
"Okay I wouldn't exactly say she's wrong about that, per se, but it's just as much her fault that I never noticed she liked me. She's all weird and withdrawn and icy," he countered.
Illya's eyes widened.
"Whoa whoa whoa, you and Rin? "
Shirou laughed.
"Slow down, sport. Not exactly. It was a little one-sided on her end. I didn't really feel the same way," he said.
Illya still found it difficult to rationalize that Rin ever felt something for him. It wasn't because he lacked positive qualities, she was just always so abrasive with him even though they were clearly close friends now. Maybe that was a result of her just being stubborn or working through her more complicated feelings.
"So, wait, it was you who didn't reciprocate? You didn't feel the same?" she asked with near-amazement.
"You could at least try and sound a little bit less surprised," he muttered.
Illya giggled.
"I didn't mean it like that!" she insisted, "I just mean that, like, she's Rin, ya know? She's hot! And cool!"
Her admiration for the girl was so astonishingly wholesome it would've made Rin throw up.
"I guess you're not incorrect," he remarked, "I just don't really feel much for anybody, let alone Rin. She's great, I just don't 'do' romance and all that stuff. Never been something I've given much thought to, in all honesty,"
Illya couldn't lie, she found that mildly baffling. It explained why he was a bit 'up in the clouds'- even by Illya's standards, mostly when it came to the opposite sex. He was a good looking guy, and got plenty of looks and flirtatious smiles from other girls, and it sort of washed right over him. Illya on the other hand, her exposure to romance was mostly through the abundance of novels she'd read over the years in her spare time at the Einzbern estate. It was basically all she had for recreational entertainment. She read all kinds of things, but romances were her favorite. It provided the most all-encompassing form of escapism. The idea of true love and the complete and utter devotion one person could have for another was always so beautiful to her. A part of her couldn't help but relate to the idea of being a princess locked away in a tower, waiting for her savior.
"So naturally you feel qualified to dish out advice," Illya teased.
"Well… okay you got me there," Shirou admitted, "But I can still help as a person who knows Sakura and just knows people on a human level, right?"
Illya nodded.
"I suppose so," she said, "So… I guess I should ask first and foremost, is Sakura… well… um…"
"Does she bat for your team?" he finished.
She looked confused.
"My… team?" she asked.
Shirou smiled. He had to remember sometimes that half of his euphemisms were completely ineffective on her.
"You're asking me if Sakura likes girls," he clarified, "I'm not totally certain, but I think she does,"
Illya perked up a bit. This particular sticking point was one of the reasons she hadn't truly considered acting on her feelings.
"How do you know? Did she tell you?" she asked.
"Not directly but I've always been under that impression. She's always had that vibe," he assured her.
"Vibe?" she asked, her confusion being furthered.
"Sometimes you just know. You can sorta tell. And mages are a lot more open-minded about that stuff generally speaking," he said.
"Could you 'just sorta tell' with me?" Illya asked.
"No, but it wasn't surprising," he said plainly, "You've gotta work on your subtlety. You've been sneaking looks at Sakura's legs for weeks,"
Illya turned bright crimson while Shirou just chuckled.
"W-Well I just think everybody is beautiful," Illya said, obviously deflecting, "No reason to limit myself,"
"That's the spirit," he said, "Someone's gotta woo all the girls that I'm not interested in,"
"I'll stick to Sakura, for now," Illya said, her mind already drifting into thoughts of the violet-haired girl.
"Well, if you want my advice, which you undoubtedly do, as we've established: I'm an expert in the ways of the heart," Shirou began with a bit of theatrical gusteau.
"Oh yes, of course," she said, humoring his act.
He looked at her warmly.
"Be honest with her," he said, "Sakura is… genuine. She'd appreciate directness,"
Illya's lips curled and her expression became wracked with nervous tension.
"But what if she doesn't feel the same way? Will it be weird? Will she not wanna be around me anymore?" she asked.
Shirou shook his head.
"I think if you're up front about it, and you tell her that you still wanna be friends, she'll understand. She's not the type to freak out like that," he told her.
She swallowed.
"I dunno… I just feel… afraid. She's so sweet and fun to be around. I don't wanna jeopardize that," she said, the idea of actually confronting Sakura now buzzing in her head in a way it hadn't previously.
"She's not gonna stop being that way. I promise," Shirou said, "And hey, give yourself a little more credit, you're quite charming. That doesn't hurt your chances,"
Illya smiled and flippantly tossed her hair to one side.
"Right you are, brother dearest, how could I have ever doubted you?" she mused, making Shirou chuckle.
"Okay maybe ease up a little bit there," he said, "Hey, if you can manage to work through being such a scaredy cat after a horror movie you might be able to make your move,"
Illya gave a cat-like grin as she returned her attention primarily to scouting out a movie choice.
"Shirou, a few months ago a man pulled my heart out of my chest and I laid in a pool of my own blood for hours. If you think a movie with some ghosts is enough to actually scare me then you don't know me very well," she said slyly.
Shirou smiled, feeling a bit of pride in knowing that she was a hell of a lot smoother than he figured.
"Well, you've got my blessing. If you have any questions or need advice I will… happily Google something that will give you a better answer than I would," he said.
Illya felt a surge of heat in her chest. It was partially out of nervousness, as she was finally considering actually doing this. But it was also partly because she had the encouraging safety-net of Shirou behind her. Even if the worst case scenario played out, and Sakura hated her for some reason, she still had someone she could lean on.
The evening had gone about as expected for all involved. They'd ordered pizza (which Illya highly enjoyed, as anticipated) and elected to watch a double feature selected by Illya and Shirou: 'The Thing' and 'The Exorcist'- two movies Shirou guaranteed would give them a fright. It worked like gangbusters too, as Illya sat on the floor with her back pressed against the couch, Sakura pressed into her shoulder, burying her face whenever something too ugly came on screen. Illya was a remarkable actress, being able to pretend she shared Sakura's fear, and it led to Rin suspiciously looking at Shirou, who seemed to occasionally giggle for reasons she wasn't entirely aware of.
They were midway through the exorcist when Rin rather abruptly offered to make everyone hot chocolate, which everyone of course took her up on. Shirou noticed she seemed to be rather eager to leave, which seemed peculiar. Nothing particularly scary was happening on screen at the moment so it wasn't her pretending to be her stone-faced self. He contemplated not checking on her and leaving her to her own devices, but if Shirou had learned anything with Rin over the past few months, it was that occasionally Rin needed to have people reach out to her because she seldom asked for help. No matter how much Rin had grown in such a short time, her pride could never truly be abandoned in its entirety.
Shirou walked into the kitchen, seeing Rin solemnly prepare the drinks in her pajamas. They all elected to stay the night and dressed accordingly, but no matter how many times he saw her, Shirou could never quite get used to seeing her in flannels and a t-shirt. It was so casual and so… not her. Illya and Sakura were totally normal dressed in basically the same attire, which created an odd amount of cognitive dissonance. Rin put a great deal of effort into her appearance, so it was like seeing her disarmed, in a way.
The Tohsaka house at night was dimly lit and eerie. It came with the territory, being a large, old building, but it never diminished the effect that Shirou felt like a kid lost in a castle. Thankfully he'd been there enough times to not require a map.
"You okay?" Shirou asked, trying to keep his voice as low as possible.
Rin still jumped, dropping a spoon that clattered to the ground.
"Shirou!" she nearly gasped, "Would it kill you to have… ugh, I dunno, heavier footsteps?"
Shirou looked down at his socks on the linoleum floor, bemused.
"Well, I'm not wearing shoes and a certain someone helped train me to walk without making noise so I could be sneakier during a certain Grail War,"
Rin rolled her eyes. Internally she was just glad Shirou had finally picked up a sharpness in his speech that she was near-certain he got from her.
"Fine," she said, grabbing the first mug and putting in the microwave, "As long as you're here you may as well help me. Mix the milk and cocoa if you wanna be useful,"
"Yes ma'am," Shirou said, walking over to the counter.
He ended up sneaking a mini-marshmallow in his mouth while Rin wasn't looking before he actually started.
"So," he said inconspicuously, "You okay?"
Rin turned from the microwave and looked back at him with her default expression: mildly skeptical.
"Me? Yeah I'm good," she said nonchalantly.
Rin just sort of stood there awkwardly, arms folded in front of her, watching Shirou as he mixed everything together. Shirou finished, looking at her expectantly and letting the moment breathe for a second. Finally, he raised his eyebrows at the girl, prompting her to let out a sigh.
"Okay I'm less than good. Sub-optimal," she said.
The timer on the microwave went off, making Rin jump a bit before she turned around to take out the now much-hotter mug.
"Anything you wanna talk about?" Shirou asked as he approached her with the second cup.
His voice had reverted to sounding like the old Shirou. And just like whenever she'd spoken with him years before, she found it almost ridiculously sincere. Some habits never went away.
She took the cup from him and placed it in the microwave.
"I'll be fine," she said, "Not sure I have any reason to say anything,"
Shirou couldn't help but be partially confused.
"You don't need a reason to vent," he countered, "And if you really didn't want to talk about anything, you wouldn't have told me something was bugging you in the first place,"
She hated how right he was.
"I mean in my defense I did try," she grumbled, "But yeah, I guess you're right,"
She took the second cup out of the microwave, exchanging it with Shirou for the next one. He proceeded to put the marshmallows in the cups that were ready, waiting for Rin to say something.
"It's… the priest," she uttered.
Shirou looked up when he was finished, Rin's face clearly deep in thought as she spoke. He could've sworn he saw the gears in her head turning.
"The priest?" he questioned, "Like, in the movie?"
Rin snapped out of her brief haze and looked at Shirou more directly, blinking.
"Oh, yeah. Well… not really," Rin said, "I just saw him in the movie and he just reminded me of… someone,"
It didn't take long for Shirou to connect the dots in terms of who she was referring to.
"Kotomine?" he asked, absentmindedly stirring his mug with a spoon.
She nodded, her intense look of deep thought returned like a veil.
"Just… it pisses me off," she remarked, slightly quieter than before.
"That he tried to kill us and screw us all over after pretending to be a guide? Yeah I'm still not crazy about all that either,"
She shook her head.
"Yeah, sure. I mean more in the sense that he just died so very… mundanely. He deserved far worse," she said with an undercurrent of venom.
"You're right," Shirou said, "But he's gone now and he can't hurt anybody anymore. I'll confess I don't really understand why this is bugging you, but I hope him being gone is enough of a positive to make it seem better,"
Rin's expression changed from one of her more common faces to one that was truly rare. Sadness.
Sadness in the elder Tohsaka girl was a very specific kind of look, but it was so distinct to practically anyone who knew Rin. It was simply impossible to mistake for anything else. It was quiet, somber, and stark, but never in the way normal people expressed it. Rin's visage seemed eternally poised and beautiful, and an untrained eye would mistake her subtleties for indifference or callousness. Shirou, thankfully, did not have this issue.
"I try," she responded, "But it isn't much help lately. I just keep picturing myself giving him what he really deserved. He sickens me,"
Shirou saw Rin's right fist ball tightly at her side. She was trembling for a moment, but caught herself, and ceased. He wished he knew what to do or say, but couldn't help but get the impression he was missing something.
He leaned in, nearly about to say something, but Rin beat him to it.
"He killed my… he killed our father," she said bitterly.
Shirou's eyes widened. He knew she wasn't fond of the priest before he'd betrayed them, she expressed it quite clearly. But her disdain was simply not the kind you'd have for someone who'd killed someone close to you.
"Holy shit," Shirou softly muttered, "How did-"
"He told me a few minutes before he died," Rin said, deflating her posture a bit, "Just admitted it to spite me. Loathsome little shit,"
That was a lot to unpack. Shirou couldn't help but feel a little ill-equipped for this.
"Did he tell you… why?" Shirou asked, baffled.
"No," she answered, "Just mentioned it. I don't think he had a reason. He just wanted to,"
That provoked something in Shirou. A deep-seated disgust. It wasn't as if he'd excuse the man's actions if he had a better reason, but needless violence was the most contemptible thing imaginable. It was such an event that led to Shirou's own parents and countless other people dying. Senseless destruction.
"Rin, I'm-"
She held up her hand, wincing a bit.
"It's fine, Shirou. I'll be okay. It's just been getting to me lately," she said, regaining her composure once she finished.
She didn't have the courage to muster up mentioning how mentoring Shirou proved to be a great escape for her. She felt a little bit like her old self. She felt useful, competent, and knowledgeable. It had been bad lately, but only in the moments she was alone with her thoughts- and thankfully because of the other three, that wasn't often.
"Does Sakura know?" Shirou asked, not really knowing what else to say.
"No," Rin said, "She doesn't remember our parents. And since he's gone now, I don't see much point in telling her unless she asks. She's been through enough,"
Shirou was at a loss. This whole situation had been such a disaster from the get-go, and he couldn't help but feel wildly out of place.
"I'm just so sick of all these things and people defining my emotions. Defining my life," she dejectedly continued, "My dad isn't here anymore but he's the entire reason I got involved with this Grail stuff in the first place. Kirei took him from me and changed the entirety of how my life progressed. Hell, I can't even remember anything about mom. And I feel like I just carry all these stupid burdens they laid at my feet for no reason,"
That was something he knew all too well as of late. In a sense, he felt guilty for his long-held idealism. Idealism born from the idolization of a deeply flawed man, treating him like something that he wasn't. He felt like he'd been duped for wanting to do the right thing, and it left him in a precarious position. Finding out the things in your life that were the most important to you were just as flawed as you are was a sobering notion that they all had to deal with in some way. It all came externally. People, events, places, all too intrusive.
"Well, you don't have to carry them alone anymore," Shirou said uneasily, "For whatever that's worth. I think our lives have collectively kicked all of us while we're down from the second we were born. But now I think we finally get some autonomy. It's only natural that when we start living for ourselves, we see all the awful stuff that happened to us in retrospect. I don't really know what to say… wish I did. But it… sucks. I'm sorry, Rin,"
Rin exhaled. She let out a faint smile.
"Thanks, Shirou," she said.
His confusion only furthered.
"I don't really feel like that was my best pep-talk," he admitted.
"It wasn't," she said, "But you listened… I haven't ever had anyone around to listen to this stuff and it's starting to just spill out of me, lately. I forget that people hearing me is enough. Occasionally,"
Shirou was internally relieved. Rin wouldn't have put on the guise of feeling a little better just to humor him. So he'd done something, even if it didn't initially feel like it.
"Well, master, anything for you," Shirou said with a grin.
Rin when right back to her old self. Rolling her eyes at Shirou.
"Ugh, knock it off. Or I'll start calling you 'my apprentice'- God that really does sound ridiculous. Just gimme the damn cocoa,"
He smiled, doing what was asked.
The hours passed, and after the movie, Rin and Shirou were both pretty exhausted. They had their second wind after lunch, but earlier they'd been working fairly hard. Sakura and Illya weren't quite there yet, so they did as they usually did and went to Sakura's room.
It took a while to get the furnishings for her room and make it properly feel like 'home'- but Rin had gone and spared no expense in making her sister feel at home. Like most bedrooms in the manor, it was fairly enormous. Soft carpet, a comfortable king-sized bed, a television, ornate white cabinets, and a tasteful blue color on the walls.
After a while of idle chit-chat between the two, mostly about plans for next week and what they'd be working on in Sakura's lessons, they laid back in Sakura's bed and started channel surfing just to have some background noise while they talked.
Illya currently sat up crossed-legged, in front of the pillows, as Sakura laid flat on her stomach, lazily perusing each channel on the tv. Illya couldn't help but feel slightly emboldened, looking at the girl right there in front of her after having such an enjoyable evening. In theory… it was the ideal set of circumstances to-
"Hey Illya," Sakura said, disrupting her flow of thoughts, "Are you alright?"
Illya was too caught up in her own head to even realize that she looked mildly unsettled, and her gaze was squarely on Sakura.
Her conversation with Shirou earlier came to mind, specifically the part where she mentioned how bad a liar she was. There was certainly one way to fix that…
"I'm… worried. A little bit," she awkwardly let out.
Sakura turned her attention to Illya fully, propping her head up as she looked at Illya with genuine concern.
"Worried? Is something wrong?" she asked.
Illya would've never intentionally troubled the girl, but the melodious affectation in Sakura's voice when she was explicitly worried about someone was like some kind of unspeakably gorgeous music that most mortals could only dream of hearing. The kind of voice she dreamed about for years as she toiled away in her isolation.
And even then, the voice was only a fraction as beautiful as the lips that spoke with it.
Illya felt like she detected a bead of sweat on her forehead. She knew she could do this, but this final hurdle would be no joke.
"Yeah," Illya answered trepidatiously, "It's complicated, I guess. I'm at a bit of a crossroads and don't know what to do,"
She knew she couldn't outright lie to Sakura, but she had to be careful about this. She couldn't just break down her barriers and put them both out of their comfort zone, it could lead to her paranoia furthering, or it could scare Sakura. She had to lean into it gradually.
Sakura sat up, crawling down next to where Illya sat, facing her as she decided to sit up. Her concern was still there, but there was a glint of determination in her eyes now. She didn't even need to say anything, Illya knew she was hellbent on trying to help her in any way she could. One of her most admirable qualities was her unflinching selflessness.
"A crossroads? Something important?" she asked. "Like a choice?"
Illya nodded.
"Yeah. It's not gonna be the end of the world or anything, I'm just struggling with it a bit. It's… a new feeling,"
Sakura's eyes became slightly more pained. Illya figured that the younger Tohsaka girl would ask her to elaborate, but she surprised her.
"New feelings, huh? Definitely know about those…" she said.
It was Illya's turn to be concerned.
"Sounds like I'm not the only one," Illya said, "Are you okay?"
Sakura smiled, but in a way where you could just tell it was substituting for something a bit more painful.
"Oh yes of course," Sakura said, "I don't mean to make this about me or anything, I just am… familiar. With feelings I don't know how to handle,"
This certainly was an interesting development.
"Well I guess I'm in good company then," Illya said trying to put a positive spin on it whilst trying to get back on the rails, "But if I had to guess, I'd say I'm not the only one who feels like their life really started after the war ended, right?"
Sakura gave a hollow chuckle. Illya was more perceptive than she seemed.
"You're correct," Sakura said. "Again, I don't want to make this about me, I want to help you, of course. I'm just saying you're in good hands if you need to talk to someone about it,"
There was a bit more vivre in how she spoke. Such passion for her friends.
Friends.
"Well, that does make me feel a bit better," Illya said with a sigh of relief, "Cause I think I've been feeling some stuff I didn't expect to. Or maybe, I wanted to feel it, but just figured I'd never get the chance. And now… here I am,"
Her nervousness could no longer be adequately contained.
"What is it, exactly?" Sakura asked, placing a concerned hand on Illya's knee, "If you don't mind me asking, that is,"
Illya swallowed after shivering from the physical contact. Her eyes drifted away from the other girl, making eye contact right now would've made her explode.
"Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, and maybe it's just that everything lately has been so new… but I'm experiencing something I've never really encountered before. I wasn't sure what it was at first but I think I *might* have figured it out. You know… kinda,"
Sakura nodded, still looking at Illya attentively.
"I get it," she reassured the snowy-haired girl. "For the first few weeks, every time I felt anything approaching happiness it felt weird and unnatural. Being here, being with Rin, being with Shirou, being with you… but it's all been pretty wonderful. I love it, but I frequently second guess it. It feels like one half of my brain is trying to sabotage the other. Happiness without any drawbacks feels… wrong. Isn't that awful?"
Illya had never heard more deeply relatable words, but it was still different. Illya hadn't been in her right mind in years, and it stunted her emotionally now that she had proper stability. She had no baseline for comparison, no other people to gage situations for her, or teach her how feelings and communication worked. Her entire understanding of others was gradually learned since the war, and it was frequently overwhelming. She was essentially learning how to be a real person for the first time, whereas Sakura already knew how, it was just extraordinarily difficult.
"I… wow. Yeah. Exactly," Illya said in awe.
Their eyes briefly met in one ephemeral moment. They connected over many things, a mutual desire for new experiences both mundane and exciting, an appreciation for the same stories and art, but this phenomenon extended beyond that. Through their pain, they were also tethered to each other. Both had been princesses locked in their respective towers for years. Mainly, because of the Grail War.
They lost everything to it, and now here they were, united in its fallout.
For each of them, it was nice to know there was a mutual sense of security and comfort in knowing they were understood by someone else. Loneliness was so integral to their previous existence that it felt like it would follow them forever…. but it didn't. Not when they were with each other.
"So it's… it's okay. I get it if you can't share or don't want to, but I get it. A little bit. New things are nice but they're scary too,"
Illya nodded.
"Yeah. That's one way of putting it," she said, beginning to nervously play with her hands that rested on her knees as she sat, "So uh… yeah,"
Illya took a deep breath.
"I think I have… feelings for… someone," she finally managed to get out semia-awkwardly.
She was internally screaming obscenities at herself. She was simply unable to say 'you'- and her brain defaulted to something more general. She wanted this out of the way! Prolonging it would prove only torturous for all involved, but she was too afraid.
It took everything in her not to show her internal disappointment with herself. Meanwhile, Sakura's eyes widened with surprise. Ultimately it became an expression that was undoubtedly happy for her friend, but before that there was something brief and ephemeral. Illya paid it no mind, trying not to blind herself with optimism.
"You do? That's wonderful!" Sakura exclaimed, "Do they know?"
Illya nervously laughed.
"Not to my knowledge," she answered honestly, "That's… sort of my problem,"
Sakura nodded in understanding as Illya panicked, trying to find a way to loop this conversation back into what she intended it to be. The violet-haired girl gave her a knowing smile that briefly filled Illya with hope, which subsequently frustrated her once it initially faded.
"You're too nervous," Sakura said, "Here I thought I was the shy one,"
The irony was clawing at her. Of the two of them, Sakura was easily the more withdrawn and less outwardly emotional. This came with the catch that Illya only had a leg up on Sakura because she was already comfortable around the three of them. With anyone else, anyone from the outside world, she had to use Shirou as a buffer of sorts. This only led to more frustration, as it should have been easy for her. Sakura was someone who she was always comfortable around, so in theory, it should've been easy… right?
"Yeah… it's kinda my first time around the block. Romantically, I mean. It's a little bit scary," she said.
She was being intentionally vague until she could feasibly say what she wanted with total clarity. But, alas, her anxiety did not release its cruel grip on her.
She was also horrified that if Sakura really thought about this for a second, she could figure out it was her she was referring to. She knew Illya didn't spend time with anyone outside the three of them. If she gave it a moment of thought, then it was all going to collapse. Not exactly the way she wanted to break the news.
So naturally, she felt like she had to distract her somehow. But how?
"I completely get it. Seeing all the boys who were interested in Rin get their hearts broken week after week was a little disparaging," Sakura said with an undercurrent of faint sadness, "Didn't really get my hopes up for the future,"
"Yeah, I know what you mean," Illya said, partially deflated, "If I could just find a way to relax and clear my head I know I could do it… I just.. Ugh,"
Sakura looked at her with a partial bit of pity. Illya had gone from partially pouting to staring at the bed sheets beneath her almost despondently.
But then, something clicked. She wanted to help Illya, naturally. After all, she was her best friend. She didn't have any experience in this stuff, so she doubted any real advice would prove fruitful. Shirou and Rin really weren't the type to be experts on romance either. But, surely there was something that could help her.
"Sounds like you need to unwind a little," Sakura said, more slyly than was typical of her.
Illya cocked an eyebrow. Where was this going?
"Sounds like you have an idea," Illya said.
Sakura hopped off the bed, turned around with a smile, and pointed at Illya, who sat there wondering why she was suddenly so animated.
"I'll be right back," she said with a bit of vivre.
Illya went along with it, nodding as Sakura scampered off through the doorway. Seeing the girl energetically plod along in her pajamas reminded Illya of one of the many reasons she had taken to her: she was despicably adorable in nearly every movement she made.
Illya sat there, aimlessly waiting impatiently, wondering just what in the hell she was in for.
Sakura was never really one for bold ideas, but as of late, things were different. She had more energy and more willingness to try new things after moving in with Rin, so this wasn't out of nowhere. It was incredible how different and spontaneous she felt now that she wasn't miserable most of the time.
During her magical studies, she learned more than what she'd acquired from just Illya. Rin had textbooks and tomes that could fill several lifetimes worth of material for any promising mage. One area of interest particular to her was botany. Magical plants and flowers were aesthetically appealing to her, but they also had near infinite uses when synthesized, broken down, bred, or mutated properly. So much so that it was practically uncharted territory. You had to have deep pockets and have a lot of equipment to properly pursue this area of magecraft, and thankfully the Tohsaka family had plenty of both.
Sakura had been growing flowers in the garden in the backyard, purely by the insistence of her sister. Noting that Sakura was interested in the field, she told her to go crazy since the plots of dirt had remained empty for so long. Apparently it was an interest of their mother's that she had never picked up, and looked forward to seeing the emptiness replaced by something Sakura made, and she was happy to comply.
This led down dozens of avenues. Sakura learned about potion brewing, hereditary traits of magical herbs and plants when bred, and the sheer overwhelming amount of variety and applicability. It was done in her spare time, but she did have a solid amount of it since school was of no consequence.
Ultimately, this showed Sakura that she could do just about anything. Up to and including growing things that could, if consumed properly, have certain… effects on a given subject.
She'd been waiting for an opportunity like this, with Illya specifically because she knew she'd be down for it. Rin was… well she was Rin, and she wasn't sure how cool her older sister would be with what amounted to doing highly potent and alchemically-designed drugs. It wasn't as if she was making hallucinogens or anything harmful. What she had put together as a side project was something she hoped would be more medicinal in nature. Something to soothe anxiety, calm nerves, induce a measured euphoria, and ease pain. Yeah it induced a high, but that simply came with the territory. Up until now she had only tried it once to make sure it was safe, but knew she needed more of a pool to test it out on. Illya, due to her unique genetic makeup, had an incomparable immune system, a slight healing factor, and internal organs that could heal from basically any inherent biological problem. Sakura still wouldn't have tried it on her even with that knowledge, but after testing the waters, she knew it was safe. It was really a matter of potency. The single time Sakura had done it, she consumed a bit too much and ended up sleeping for ten hours after feeling like she'd begun to float around in her own body.
It was also something she knew was part of the teenage experience. Something that loads of people their age did, albeit with far less quality drugs. It was a safe environment and she was with people she could trust, and she knew what she was working with. Doing it wasn't enough, it was the social aspect that she yearned for.
She grabbed her stuff from her desk drawer in the basement room where all of their magecraft stuff was stored. Each girl had a desk with various instruments and tools of their particular magical interests. She kept it ready in a small wooden box: a half dozen single 'doses' of her herbal concoction all rolled tightly in a special kind of parchment to be easily lit and inhaled.
Sakura went back upstairs, coming back through the hallway and into her room with about as much enthusiasm as she had when she left.
Illya looked at her precariously, at first hardly even noticing that she had grabbed something as the box was so small. Sakura noted her apprehension, and hoped she could help with it somewhat. It was a good opportunity to test her work, sure, but this was the real reason she made it. To help people who struggled as she did with anxiety or depression and needed to take the edge off. That, and she just wanted to help and spend more time with the Einzbern girl. They both had so much life to catch up on.
She made her way over to the bed, and took out one of the samples, holding it up in front of Illya. Her confusion really only furthered.
"What is that?" she asked curiously.
Sakura took it, gently pressing it to her lips with one hand. With the other, she extended her thumb just beneath the tip of it, and muttered an incantation. A tiny but still bright flame appeared just above it, lighting the edge. Sakura inhaled as the flame went away, Illya merely stared.
"I made it myself," Sakura said after a steady exhale, "It's supposed to help calm you down,"
Illya chuckled nervously with a smile.
"Sakura Tohsaka, are you manufacturing drugs ?" she asked with a theatrical inflection.
Sakura smiled.
"Of sorts," she said, taking a more confident drag, "It's my own design. Much more pure and refined than something like cannabis. I've tried it myself once and I didn't have any adverse effects, and it's supposed to last for 12 hours,"
Illya's eyes widened.
"Twelve HOURS?" she asked in disbelief.
She nodded.
"You would be astonished by the kinds of things you can do in the field of magical botany," she said plainly, "I figure that if this works for you, it could even you out a bit. Maybe, it could even help you to take the leap and confess to whoever this lucky person might be!"
Illya smirked. Sakura was encouraged by her positive response.
"Well then don't hog the whole thing!" she said, outstretching her hand.
Sakura handed it to her, and she took it in her hand between her fingers. She mimicked exactly what Sakura had done, trying not to laugh when she considered that this was probably the first and only time anyone had modeled any form of 'deviant behavior' after Sakura, who was purer than the driven snow. Or so most people thought, anyway.
She took a slow drag, trying to prepare herself for the inevitable coughing fit she figured would ensue. Instead, as the smoke filled her lungs, what followed was a cool, soothing sensation that didn't provoke anything. Everything down to the smell of it (which was faintly of lavender, not unlike Sakura's preferred scent of shampoo which Illya definitely didn't notice and become increasingly enticed by) Sakura looked at her expectantly, and Illya exhaled after keeping it down for a few more seconds.
The effect was almost instant.
"You… feeling okay?" Sakura asked after giving it a few seconds.
Illya expected things to feel… slower. Instead she felt an increased awareness of her surroundings. This heightening however coincided with a mellowness that she seldom felt. Her muscles ceased the tension they'd kept in from her nervousness before.
Sakura took the cigarette back, taking another drag as Illya nodded slowly.
"Yeah… yeah I feel pretty great," she said, "That stuff is… potent, huh?"
"I'm glad it works for you!" she said, "I can start breeding variants soon. Think you'd be in any condition to talk to a certain someone while under the influence?"
The cheeky tone in her voice nearly made Illya shiver, but the effects of the high were keeping her calm. Despite the definite improvement in her state of being, she could feel her heart beating quickly.
"Yeah, I think this could… help. Yeah," she said unsurely, staring at Sakura as she pressed the edge of the cigarette out on the box.
"Now all you have to do is-"
Sakura stopped.
She looked up to see Illya staring at her. It was curious, and perhaps it was merely the mood that had set in because of the high, but her expression was hard to read. It looked like fear at first, with maybe a glint of curiosity. Sakura studied her momentarily until she finally saw it for what it was: hope.
But why would...
Illya didn't even say anything. She saw Sakura go through the motions of realizing what was in front of her. She got a little caught up in how she could help, and the moment she thought about it, it was obvious.
Illya blinked, waiting for an opportunity to say or do something, but Sakura still looked befuddled.
"O-Oh," she breathed, "S-So I guess the person you like wouldn't happen to be Rin, would it?"
Illya blushed.
"No. It's… you," she finally got out.
There was a certain peace she felt with finally saying it out loud. No matter the answer she got, at least it was finally out there. She did however, hope desperately that Sakura smoking with her cushioned the blow of this should it not go over well.
She could only deliver a pained smile.
"If it's any consolation.." she hurried out before Sakura responded, "I think your idea worked. I don't know if I could've said that under… normal circumstances,"
Sakura's expression softened. Illya was certain that when she was finally able to confess to her, she'd be a nervous wreck too, so this was pretty much the best possible set of circumstances. Sakura still had the wherewithal to be direct and honest.
"Illya… I think you're great..." she said.
Illya closed her eyes and steeled herself. She knew there was a 'but' coming.
"But…"
It still stung. Even though she internally knew that, deep down, this was probably inevitable. At least she wasn't mad.
"But why would you… why would you like me?" Sakura asked, genuinely confused.
Illya's eyes shot open. That was the furthest thing from what she expected.
"What?" Illya asked, very nearly adopting a stern tone of voice.
"I d-don't understand. I'm just so… unremarkable," she said.
It was the sincerity with which those words were delivered that hurt Illyasviel. Sakura genuinely believed that. Whether or not she felt something more for the girl was irrelevant, she felt she'd failed as a friend.
"Sakura," she began, her tone matching Rin of all people, "Unremarkable? You are, without question, the most remarkable person I know,"
Her eyes widened again. They were these big, doe-eyed saucers that currently gleamed with the reflection of the tv in them. She was beginning to tear up.
Illya leaned forward, gently wiping away the first droplet that cascaded down her cheek with her thumb. Sakura didn't even flinch, her increased awareness made it feel like she could feel Illya breaths dancing on her skin at that range.
"I know that's not exactly saying much… y'know, considering I know about three people. But I think you know what I mean. I could meet everyone on earth and it would still be true,"
Sakura laughed, some of the tension dissipating a bit without fading completely. Illya was proud of herself for that.
What profoundly affected Sakura was the fact that Illya said that with total sincerity. The girl truly didn't have a dishonest bone in her body. She could appreciate what she was saying because she was a friend first and foremost, and someone who was interested in her second. In fact, Illya temporarily forgot the intended purpose of this nightly venture. She just wanted her friend to feel okay.
"You're smart. And you're caring. You're a good cook, an incredible mage who barely even needs my help. You're kind despite the fact that the world did nothing but kick you down. You're… you're incredible,"
Illya didn't expect to say all that much. It all just sort of fell out of her haphazardly.
"Illya… you… but you've-"
"Nuh-uh, miss," Illya playfully scolded, "This is not the tragedy olympics. We all have our own awful things to deal with, so don't you dare compare yourself to someone else like that. You matter more than that,"
After that, both girls just stared into each other's eyes. They each felt like the euphoria was setting in, giving them a second wind of energy that made this tempestuous conversation feel almost cosmic in scale. Illya's crimson eyes were like eager, flickering flames that dug into Sakura, seeping into her skin to tingle her spine. Whereas Illya saw violet eyes that made her feel like she was in a meadow full of lilacs gently moving in a breeze.
"It doesn't hurt that I think you might be the most beautiful person I've ever seen," Illya said quietly, not being able to tell if either of their faces had slowly drifted closer to one another as they stared.
Sakura felt her pulse quicken. Instead of adding to her stress it was somehow still very... calm.
"I spent a lot of my life reading stories. Looking at the covers of novels. Using my imagination to make these vivid portraits of what I read. They were my only escape, and I like to think I got pretty good at it. To the point where maybe reality would never be able to hold a candle to the things I pictured. You… you proved me wrong. There's no princess, no imaginable thing I could conjure up that's as beautiful as you are," Illya said.
Sakura felt like she might swoon, and couldn't tell if it was the drug or Illya.
"I don't know… I don't know what to say," Sakura said, still unable to process how someone with such passionate, flowery prose deemed her worthy of such things.
Illya's smile faded, but only slightly.
"Say whatever you feel. I don't know how you feel about me, or if this is just going to drive a wedge between us… but I would never want you to be anything other than honest. I understand, and I know this is sudden but… I had to,"
Sakura closed her eyes, exhaling.
"Illya… I would never let anything come between us. No matter what. You're my friend. But… if you wanted to be more than that… I would love to give it a shot," she said, tears forming in her eyes again, "It's only been a few months and I can't imagine my life without you. And you're so… smart, and fun… and pretty,"
They both paused, ultimately sniggering slightly at her awkward word choice. The tears weren't exclusive to Sakura now. Tears that Illya predicted shedding, but for totally opposite reasons than she anticipated.
Both girls had internalized the fact that they were destined to endure a life of loneliness and isolation, and the other person's existence just proved that wrong.
Illya moved forward, cupping the girl's cheek with one hand. Sakura showed no sign of resistance, so he furthered her advance.
The two kissed, and it felt like fireworks.
Both had imagined what this kind of kiss would be like, and not even in their wildest dreams did they imagine it would be quite that spectacular. It was chaste, soft, but passionate in it's restraint. Both of them were holding back, but both obviously nervous.
Once it was over, they both leaned back, looking at one another. Somehow, it looked like they had become different human beings once they opened their eyes after the kiss. Both of them couldn't help but let out an awkward, somewhat meek-sounding laugh.
"Dibs on not telling Rin and Shirou," Sakura said.
Illya, who was already red, somehow burned a bit brighter.
"Shirou… knows. Sorta," she said.
Sakura held onto her smile, but her eyes narrowed.
"Shirou before Rin?" she asked in disbelief.
"Shirou before you too, dummy," Illya countered.
They both laughed briefly before embracing, savoring the moment. Ultimately they both simply laid down, hand in hand, wordlessly in each other's presence. They didn't have to confirm anything to one another, feelings nor desires. They just lay there.
The two princesses who had spent their lives in the top of their towers, had somehow managed to find a way to free each other.
Some fairy tales simply don't need valiant princes.
Ireland was cold. Once again, the hemispheres conspired against her. Reines dressed warmly and still managed to arrive at the airport during the start of a blizzard. She thanked the heavens she was smart enough to call for a driver ahead of time so she didn't have to wait for someone to pick her up.
The drive was long, and the view wasn't exactly impressive. The further away from Dublin they went, the more the Irish countryside consisted solely of rolling hills and the occasional farmland. It would have been lovely in a nicer time of year, but now it was grey, cold, and after an hour there wasn't a blade of grass to be seen.
The driver's car was brought to a halt two separate times because of the snow. Reines held in her impatience, knowing it was above her to be bothered with the incompetence of non-mages. She was above expecting better. She knew.
She was thankful she'd finished conducting her last few experiments before she came. If she had any time-sensitive matters going on they would've most surely gone awry.
When they arrived at the chapel and the decrepit old building that served as the priest's home, she could hardly call herself relieved. It looked like the kind of place that would be heated by a gas stove before an actual heating system. Her magical circuits were going to overwork themselves trying to keep warm.
She thanked the driver, grabbing her suitcase and hurrying up the small incline that led to the old porch, not wasting any time at all knocking on the door.
A clumsy set of footsteps approached the door, opening it quickly. He was keenly aware of how cold it must've been.
He opened the door, surprised to see a familiar face. Especially one that was nearly a foot shorter than he was.
"Reines?" he asked.
She gave a polite smile.
"Father Donovan," she greeted, "I would've called ahead of time but it was rather urgent that I see you,"
He hastily welcomed the girl inside, still in slight disbelief she'd even come. He took her coat and suitcase for her as she looked around the old house. Thankfully it was warmer than she expected inside.
"Can I offer you something to eat or drink?" he asked, nearly in a panic.
She shook her head.
"I'm perfectly content," she said, "Though I would like to discuss the context of my arrival as soon as you're able. I know it's quite sudden and I don't want to trouble you longer than I have to,"
He led her into the dining room, which was composed of nothing more than a modest wooden table with cloth draped over it, a painting of flowers on the wall, and ornate furnishings and chairs. Reines didn't know how 'the other half' lived in such minimal conditions.
Father Donovan grabbed his mug (which was very likely filled with whisky) from the other room and sat across the table from Reines, worry very evidently etched onto his face.
"I don't mean to be rude lass, but is there a reason as to why you couldn't have made a phone call instead?" he asked, not bothered, but obviously concerned.
"There is, unfortunately," she said with a slightly deflated tone, "Matters such as this warrant a visit in person, I'm afraid,"
His look of concern only intensified.
"I see," he said, scratching his chin as he looked at the young woman, "This wouldn't happen to be about that phone call from a few months back, would it? About the Grail?"
Reines tensed up. It wasn't an actual reaction, more a carefully timed ruse to play the part that she needed to fulfill. It had done her just fine so far, so she saw no reason to do anything else.
"Yes," she said uneasily, "It would. I do not mean to cut directly to the chase of the matter, but I am in need of your aid. My position within the Clock Tower demands it,"
He raised an eyebrow.
"Your position? I didn't know you'd achieved such a status so soon," he said, genuinely impressed.
She couldn't lie, it felt good when people acknowledged how far she'd come.
"Well, it's nothing incredible thus far," she intentionally downplayed, "Merely an investigator of magical affairs, still on my probationary period. However, that's not why I'm here. I'm here for the sake of the safety of both mages and normal citizens… I have good reason to believe it's going to be threatened very soon,"
She had to sell that angle. That she was here not for the Clock Tower or for herself, but for the good of everyone. Who could question that?
A dour look came upon the priest's face.
"Saints preserve… another Grail War?" he asked breathlessly.
She looked at the floor, mustering a frown. She was at least grateful he was savvy enough to catch on quickly so that she didn't have to explain.
"I'm afraid it might be," she sighed, "There's nothing that's truly begun yet, but it seems someone is attempting to manifest the Grail's will. Using it's unstable nature to call forth another war. I'm not permitted to say much about an ongoing investigation but… there have been experiments conducted…"
"Experiments?" he asked, clearly concerned.
She nodded.
"This fiend, whoever they may be… there have been cases of ritual human sacrifice that have popped up in various locations around the globe. Someone has been using these incidents as trial and error tests for summoning it. Exactly like you mentioned," she said forlornly.
His eyes widened and his posture adjusted as if his spine had been frozen.
"Never been more upset to be proven right… what do you need from me? I wish I could offer more information but I'm far from a historia-"
She shook her head.
"No," she declared, "When… if the time comes, we'll need someone to oversee it. To… call the shots. The church has always worked in conjunction during the wars in some capacity,"
He nodded slowly, realizing what was being asked of him.
"You want me to be the overseer of the sixth Holy Grail War? Since the Kotomines are out of the picture?" he asked.
"If it does indeed come to that," she reminded him carefully, "This is mostly a precaution, but myself and my associates need to make sure the board is set for when this happens. Preferably, set in our favor,"
A truth within a lie. She was confident in her abilities to win, but she was smart enough to know nothing was certain. Especially when it came to the Grail. In fact, she relished the thought of a challenge, but her desire to validate her own confidence and prove her own worth didn't supersede the necessity of victory. That was the real endgame. After all, what was a little tattered pride when you were the most powerful mage in the world on her rightful throne?
It was a good plan. Asking him to sway the game in favor of the Clock Tower if he could was the perfect trojan horse to protect her from suspicion. After all, once he was aware she was bending the rules and trusting him enough to disclose this, what other reason was there to be wary of? If you fought for the 'right' cause and fought by less-than-principled means, it was a sure sign that you were simply willing to be virtuous no matter the cost. The infraction of not playing an 'honest' game was just small enough to look past, but large enough to consider.
"I see," he said, staring out the window at the snowstorm that picked up, "So… say a ruling needs to be called, a command seal becomes a bargaining chip, those sorts of things, you would expect me to rule in your favor?"
Reines feigned a shameful look and nodded.
"Yes," she said, "I know it is… unethical, but-"
"I'll stop ya right there," he said with an exasperated smile, "The Grail War has never been anything other than unethical. If we want to put a stop to that beast that's threatening this world, as well as whoever is dim-witted enough to try and harness that power, then we have to take extraordinary measures,"
It took considerable restraint on Reines part not to glare at him. Even the implication of her actions being deemed 'dim-witted' was enough to incite fury in her. However, she kept calm.
"You may not even have to make such a call," she said, "It's a preventative measure. Though, I do think there's something else we can do to secure a victory and ultimately destroy it,"
"I'm all ears," he said with a sip.
"We need another piece on the board," she stated, "I will be participating in the War and have my artifact ready for a servant summoning should the time come. I'm confident in my ability to hold my own, but a decisive tactical advantage would be to have as many allies as I can. We can create a united front to stop whoever is involved in all this, and settle the spoils and plan when that's done with,"
It took him a moment, but he arrived on the same page as Reines, finally.
"A church representative in the war, you say?" he clarified.
She nodded enthusiastically.
"I know the magical community and the church haven't always been on great terms, but the cooperation sends a good message to the higher ups. It'll rid your establishment of the blight that Kotomine cast on it. It's not required, but I think it's in everyone's best interest," she said.
She was trying desperately to make this sound like an organic request and not something she'd almost rehearsed saying with her programmed eidetic memory.
"Well, normally I would volunteer myself. May be long in the tooth but I can hold my own. But, if you need me to be the overseer, then I can't quite do that. Thankfully… I do have someone in mind,"
Bingo.
"Oh?" she asked inquisitively.
"One of my apprentices, Sister Morning, perhaps my most talented disciple. I have no doubt she'd be of great aid to this cause," he said.
"And just where is she?" she asked, trying to conceal her excitement.
"Here," he said matter-of-factly, "She's either sleeping upstairs or holed up in one of the church pues saying her Hail Mary's. We can ask her whenever she pops in, see what she has to say,"
Reines nodded.
"Spectacular," she said with a bit more gumption, "Once this affair is sorted we will repay you in any way we can,"
He chuckled.
"Normally, a priest would say he has no need for such rewards, that the divine hereafter would be enough. But… frankly, I could certainly use some coin for a new house,"
He looked around at the ramshackle building, no doubt older than both Reines and Donovan combined.
"Righteousness doesn't equate to the quality of your life. At least, I don't think it should,"
He smiled after another drink.
"Right you are, lass," he said, "Now, inform me of everything you all know. If I'm going to do this I need context and I need it now,"
Even while serious, he was still a jovial man.
And a fool.
It was time to relay one of the other fifty falsehoods she'd conjured up in order to keep this whole ordeal veiled to everyone but her. It was mostly to cover her ass, for sure, but there was something else to it too. The thrill of weaving such a tangled web. Of being the predator. She relished it.
"Goodness, where should I begin…?" she said.
Hishiri Adashino did not like answering the phone, and she definitely did not like answering the phone when Waver Velvet was on the other end.
She sat at her desk in her office in the Clock Tower, desperately wanting to return to her room. She'd been filing paperwork all day and was exhausted, and this felt too fitting of an annoyance to cap off the evening. Working in her department as of late had proved to be incredibly droll, and somewhat insulting as she expected a mage of her expertise and talent would have been given work beyond that of office grunt work. There could have been a million other things she could be doing, traveling to foreign lands and managing investigations outside just Britain and Japan, but she hadn't had the opportunity in some time.
"Adashino speaking," she said, making no attempt to hide the annoyance in her voice.
Waver chuckled.
"Apologies for the late call, I'll make this quick. Sounds like you've had a long day," he remarked.
"Your powers of observation are unparalleled, El-Melloi," she sardonically quipped, "If this is about the case then there's no reason this couldn't have waited-"
"Someone in the Clock Tower is trying to summon the grail again," Waver said, his tone becoming notably drier.
The way he spoke made a chill run down her spine.
"... that's a serious accusation," she said, tempering her own tone, "And quite an implausible one. Have you brought this up with Reines?"
Waver gave a frustrated exhale.
"I have, but she seems utterly unconcerned. I informed her of something that passed through my office this morning, an incident report that seemed… troubling. I can't help but suspect it's connected to our case from a few months ago, but she seemed rather dismissive. I didn't get the impression she was going to give it the consideration it deserved, so I felt the need to bring it up with you. It's more in line with your department anyway,"
"Exactly how 'troubling' was this report?" she asked, still not convinced this was worth her time yet.
Waver shifted in his seat.
"I… well, it would seem there was a series of rather disconcerting murders that was uncovered in Tibet," he said.
That earned her attention quickly.
"Murders?" she asked.
"Ritualistic in nature, no doubt," he added, "One of our allies in the clergy was told something by a friend of his, a monk, that there were some disappearances in some nearby villages. Eventually, they found a cave where someone had, quite unsuccessfully, tried to create a magic circle… with the victim's blood,"
There were dozens of questions running in her head at the moment.
"Do we know for what purpose?" she asked.
"It was not dissimilar to the kind one would use when summoning a servant. They couldn't determine details because whoever had created it had mostly destroyed the evidence," he explained.
"But not so thoroughly as to hide their work or its intention. Were they interrupted and made a hasty escape?" she inquired.
"Yes… in a manner of speaking," he elaborated, "In fact, the perpetrator was caught. He'd slit his wrists and cut out his own tongue,"
Grim. But what could such a thing mean?
"You suspect foul play?" she asked.
"I do," Waver insisted, "The man had been seen performing such acts and fled the scene, his body was found later. From what we can tell, the man had no magical circuits, ability, prior knowledge, or even as much as a tome on his person,"
This sounded worse and worse with every word.
"Perhaps he was puppeteered somehow," she wondered aloud.
"My thoughts as well," Waver added, "Reines seemed dismissive about the ordeal. Frankly, it didn't sit right with me. You know how she is with non-mages, I doubt she'll give it a second thought. It wouldn't be the first time an outsider gained knowledge and even infiltrated such a ritual-"
And who would know that better than Waver, after all.
"-but this feels far too close in proximity to the Grail War a few months ago. I don't like it. And I do apologize for bothering you about it, but my caseload as it is cannot accommodate anything else,"
"So why do you suspect it's a mage within the Clock Tower?" she asked.
"I'll run them by you, but our friendly priest was kind enough to deliver images to us of the scene. The markings on one of the final seals were ones only taught in the Clock Tower. Third-year students and above only. I'll get them to your office tomorrow morning, but I don't find it to be a coincidence. The odds that such knowledge would slip through the cracks and wind up so far from away from us is-"
"Astronomical," she finished, "No, you're correct. This isn't just suspicious, this is imperative. Someone could be using humans as puppets to experiment with grail summoning rituals,"
She could hear Waver form a sigh of relief.
"I'm glad we're on the same page," he said, "I wouldn't trust this with anyone else,"
She resisted the urge to feel somewhat grateful for that. They may have been colleagues in the strictest of senses, but she viewed them as rivals first and foremost.
"Thank you for bringing this to my attention," she said, "I'll look into this further. Expect to hear from me, these matters aren't my area of expertise,"
The two bid the other goodnight, each hanging up but imbued with a distinct, lingering anxiousness. If this was what they suspected it to be, something very bad was happening. Worse than bad. Potentially apocalyptic. But who could be so brazen and twisted as to do so knowing the nature of such an object so soon after the disasters that came in the last two wars? She was dealing with someone knowledgeable, but also reckless.
Reines disregard for such matters could prove to be immensely problematic in the future, and for once she was thankful the two El-Melloi clan heads operated as a team. Without Waver this incident could've been buried, not that Reines dismissive attitude surprised Hishiri. Her arrogance was incredible even for a mage. She may have warranted a visit after this was all done for reckless conduct, that idiot girl.
For now, Hishiri had a lot of avenues to explore. She didn't know if the incident Waver had come to her about was the first, and would have to do some digging for other related incidents, as well as be on the lookout for them in the near future. If this person was experimenting with these rituals, they were going to have to keep trying until they got what they wanted.
Actually being so cruel as to use human life for such experiments… curious. It wasn't unheard of for normal humans to find themselves victims of magical phenomena, but it wasn't exactly common either. That was part of her job, making sure outsiders didn't uncover the magical world right under their noses. Along with being a threat to the magical community considering the Grail's immense power, it was a threat to the security of all humans if these incidents were to continue. More humans would be killed. Their community and livelihood was beneath a thin enough veil as it was.
In other words: this could've very well spelled disaster for dozens upon dozens of reasons.
Hishiri sighed once again.
For now, she'd rest, but she had a lot of work to do when she woke up.
