Mako's Message: This chapter hs been more or less in it's current state for a LONG time. I actually 'finished' it before the last...two chapters. But I wasn't sure it hit right. But it's only hurting me to keep holding off on posting it.

I'd really like to keep the skill I've gained over the years but get back in the headspace of just being able to sit down, write something, and then post it I had in 2010.


Bra sizes are bullshit.

Clothes sizes are bullshit.

Women's fashion is a scam.

Fuck marketing.

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It's such a joke. A massive fucking joke.

Me? A D cup? Yeah, sure.

But no, that's what the number say.

Nobody would fucking guess though. I sure as hell didn't.

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Riley and the lady at the store sure didn't seem so surprised though.

I was tempted to think they were bullshitting me, but who's more likely to be wrong? The media throwing big boobs in our faces or the ladies whose job it is making custom bras?

Besides I saw the tape measure and can do the math.

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I just can't believe these lumps on my chest are actually D-Cups. I'd been hoping and hoping my breasts would get "that big", and now I feel betrayed. What is it called when you get what you want but not the way you wanted it? I feel like I found a magic genie and said "I wish I had d-cups"

"Granted."

"But nothing changed."

"Exactly."

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It's dumb. I'm more mad now knowing I'm going to get a half dozen properly fitted bras because of what the fit IS than I was before Riley offered to take me to where she gets hers from because I was mad that I needed new bras and the off-the-shelf ones never fit right anyway. I wasn't even talking to her. I was just at NYBC and talking to Angela about it and she just happened to overhear. She said she also hated how hard it was to find a proper fit...but in her case because she's larger than average. But the ladies at the store said they do custom fits for all shapes and sizes because...well, women's sizes and fashion is bullshit and it's so goddamn hard to find a proper fit for anything. Especially bras. I've been tempted to just ditch them but unless I'm wearing something really soft I end up...chaffed? I thought I could get away with it since I'm not very big, but I'm more active than most girls so… I guess not.

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I was looking at myself in the mirror awhile ago and thinking "Man, maybe if I was taller, or my boobs were bigger, Dave could overlook our ages" And then it just...I don't know. I still thought of "D cups" as big, and it just feels like such a fucking let down. And I have gotten taller. Like, at least an inch since I last measured, but Dave is still practically a full head taller than me.

It'd be nice if I was tall enough to kiss him without having to go on tiptoes or pull him down to me. Or both.