STORY BY LADYXGILEX

Humans have always been surrounded by harmful bacteria, infections, sickness, whatever you think we have had to face it sooner or later, and so we assumed that everyone else on the wider Galaxy was like us, immune against their own world-ending viruses.

But turns out that... Nope.

The first few months after we discover FTL Travel are relatively... normal, we meet other life-forms, we meet other civilizations, we meet Jerry (and we fear Jerry) and then, finally, we managed to get into a Space-Station so we can be formally introduced to the rest of the Galaxy.

Yet the interview takes... and interesting route.

Alien: So you call yourself... "Humans"? right?

Human: yes.

Alien: uh, an interesting option indeed * note down*

Human: * confused* why would that be? if i may ask?

Alien: oh well, there was this primitive species that was knows as "Humans" or Homo Sapiens, Sapiens that lived on a planet that they called "dirt" i think.

Human: * sweating profusely* "lived"? like, they should be extinct?

Alien: * writing more things down* i mean, they should be, we left a team in guard duty over their planet to notify us the moment they became extinct, thought their ship was an very old model, i hope they did they not crashed on accident or anything haha

Human: * sweating cold* s-so you... planed on invade them or...?

Alien: what? NO! we are not savages!... we launched dozens of highly virulent diseases and organism on their planet to wipe them out, no especies could survive the assault of so many sickness at once

Human: and... what if... they did?

Alien: HA! i see you are from a Comedian Especies, what? are you suggesting that Humans somehow survived sicknesses and viruses that wiped out entire inter-stellar civilizations?

Human: i mean, what if they became immune or developed vaccines?

Alien: Nobody on the Galaxy uses Vaccines anymore, all of us use Nanobots, besides, what class of especies would willingly inject their own with incredibly mortal viruses over the chance of developing immunity? now, name your home-planet please.

Human: ...Earth.

Alien: * almost dropping his pencil*... i am sorry, what?...the third planet on the Solar System? around 70% covered in water?

Human: well, actually it is now around 75%-80%, the ice melted quicker than we expected

Alien: You are A...

Human2: * small sneeze*

Alien: * slowly turn to look at the human that sneezed, a look of complete, pure horror on his face* what was... that?

Human2: oh sorry, i think i was a little...

Alien: * drops over his desk immediately, not moving*

Human2: sick...

"It soon becomes obvious that the Alien Interviewer it is dead, as well as the rest of the freaking Space Station thank to the fact that Karen decided that a minor flu was "not gonna cause any trouble in space".

Well, thank you very much Karen.

Fortunately, Human Politics used their most prized ability to get Humanity out of trouble.

They blamed someone else.

Alien Officer: Your delegation are the sole survivor of this whole disaster, my deepest apologies for this uh... *look notes* Humans... uh, curious name.

Human: Yeah, we get that a lot.

AO: Any idea of who could be the responsible of this despicable act?

Human: well, i do not want to throw out blame over anyone, but i saw this guy with 5 arms carrying a suspiciously big bag

AO: The Atrollians? our most trusted Allies the Atrollians? the ones that have defended our borders for generations and even given the freedom to govern and develop themselves as they see fit?

Human: well, if you put it like that...

AO2: thinking about them, were they the ones that developed the bacteria of the Flu to wipe out the primitives on that planet called "Dirt" right? it have sense they still have a sample of it.

The whole Human Delegation, answering at once without even blinking: Oh yeah, it was them, i saw them with my own two eyes, every last bit of it, it was definitely them.

AO:... sounds legit, time to declare war.

Then stuffs develop onto a full scale Civil War that last for 10 years before ANYONE start to realize that there are is something amiss on the whole situation, but by the moment that Aliens realize it, Humans have already extended good enough to be considered a plague especies on their own, and you better pray to whatever Space God you see fitting, because trying to disinfect a world populated for Humans it is gonna be a costly endeavor.

Are we walking bio-hazard machines? maybe our immune system it is just as insane as the rest of the nature of our planet? or maybe the bacteria released by the Aliens it is simply weak against our bodies?

Maybe, maybe not, but who knows?