Chapter 9 (G):
"Ravenpaw!"
Graystripe called for the tom as ThunderClan approached the barn. The unfamiliar scents of the Twolegplace were reaching him, but he did not let himself be alarmed. He knew this barn well, and he knew that his Clanmates would not be hurt here.
"Graystripe?" Ravenpaw's surprised voice rang out as he emerged from the barn's entrance. He stood in the doorway and took in the sight before him with wide eyes. All four Clans stood before them, exhausted and starving with mud smearing their pelts. Barley came to stand beside him, and the two took in the sight quietly.
"Hello, Ravenpaw." Tallstar dipped his head respectfully to the well-known loner. All of the Clans had paused to shelter here during their trips to the Moonstone in the past. No Clan cat was hostile towards the duo who lived here.
Graystripe stepped forward to touch noses with Ravenpaw and the black tom asked, "Where's Firestar?" His green eyes searched the crowd of cats anxiously.
Graystripe hesitated, not sure of what to say. He had been so busy with taking care of ThunderClan that he hadn't realized that Ravenpaw would have no idea that Firestar was missing. A shaky breath left him and a new wave of emotion rose in his throat, threatening to choke him. Ravenpaw looked at Graystripe with concern and Graystripe touched his nose to Ravenpaw's cheek.
"Firestar was taken by Twolegs," Graystripe said as he pulled back. His tail swished wearily on the ground, unsure of how the barn cat would take his words. "I can tell you more later, but we need to find a place for these cats to stay."
The fur along Ravenpaw's spine rose at this news. "What? Taken by Twolegs! Firestar of all cats?" He looked beyond the cats and out at the broken moorland. He looked devastated by the news, but he reined it in skillfully. He released a long breath and looked to Graystripe and the other Clan leaders. "You can stay here tonight if you'd like. Hunting is good this moon and the barn is full of rats sheltering from the cold."
Barley spoke up however, looking uncomfortable in the doorway. "Wait Ravenpaw," he started, "This many cats will never fit into the barn. The Twolegs would have a fit when they came to get straw for the cows."
"You're right," Ravenpaw agreed, uncertain. "But there must be a way to help."
"I suppose they could stay in the broken nest," Barley suggested.
Ravenpaw turned back to the Clan cats. "Of course!" he said, eyes lightening with the solution. "Graystripe, you know the place where Bluestar was sheltered under after the rat attack?"
Graystripe nodded with remembrance. "That would be perfect," he said, but then a jolt shot through him when he heard Blackstar's low growl behind him. It was a simple, wordless reminder that Graystripe was not the only cat in charge here. He swung around and addressed the other leaders. "Blackstar? Leopardstar? What do you think of staying here for the night?"
There was a pause where Graystripe thought that Blackstar might protest. But thankfully the white leader seemed to recognize the benefit of spending a night in a place of safety.
"We can't turn down the offer of food," Blackstar said, and Leopardstar nodded beside him.
"Our queens and elders need to rest." She meowed.
Ravenpaw looked pleased despite his worry. "Good. Let's get you settled; then we can show the warriors the best places to hunt. There'll be plenty for every cat."
"Thank you, Ravenpaw." Graystripe touched his muzzle to his friend's pelt gratefully.
Ravenpaw looked past Graystripe at all the cats huddled around the barn. "You need it more than I can imagine." He got to his paws again and motioned with his tail for the other cats to follow. As he led them along a wide gravel trail, Graystripe fell in step with his friend. Barley was close behind them, listening into the conversation as they went.
"So, you said Firestar was taken?" Ravenpaw started again as they padded along. "By Twolegs? They didn't kill him, did they?"
"I don't think so, but we don't know for sure." Graystripe murmured. "Squirrelpaw saw him get put into the belly of a monster, but he was still alive then. And Cinderpelt hasn't gotten any signs from StarClan yet."
"That's good, I suppose." Ravenpaw meowed, though he looked downcast. "But what has happened? Why are the Clans here?"
"The Twolegs have begun to destroy the territory," Graystripe informed his friend. "If we had stayed any longer we would have been crushed under the paws of a monster or starved if we didn't."
Barley spoke up. "So ThunderClan's territory is gone?"
"And Fourtrees and the river and everything else." Graystripe nodded. "We've been staying at Sunningrocks for days. We were waiting for the other three Clans to agree to leave with us. They finally agreed after Firestar went missing and ShadowClan's camp was destroyed."
Ravenpaw took a slow breath and nodded. "It's good that you got out when you did then. Are you-" he paused and lowered his voice with a heavy tone, "You're not Graystar now, are you?"
"No." Graystripe reassured his friend. "I could never take over the leadership of ThunderClan if there was a chance that Firestar was still alive."
Ravenpaw nodded in understanding and a silence fell between them as they walked. Ravenpaw brought the cats to the broken nest, which had strong stone walls but no roof left. Graystripe was thankful that the rain had stopped.
"I recognize this," Ashfoot whispered as she stepped into the nest. "We slept here when Firestar led us back home, after Brokenstar drove us out."
Graystripe wanted to mention that he had been there helping WindClan return home too, but he bit back the comment. There was no use to start an argument with WindClan. Everyone was already in a poor mood without his remarks.
"I didn't think we'd ever see this place again," Webfoot agreed tensely. The queens and elders padded gratefully into the nest and settled in groups or pairs along the stone walls. Many warriors and apprentices gathered into patrols to be led away by Ravenpaw or Barley, but Graystripe found himself standing beside Cinderpelt in the den.
"I heard Blackstar and Leopardstar talking about speaking with StarClan when we reach Highstones tomorrow." She told him. She watched as Squirrelpaw gave Leafpaw some wet moss to help the queens recover. "I think you should go too."
Graystripe didn't respond. He didn't want to go to the Moonstone with the leaders. Would he be expected to speak with StarClan? What would his ancestors even say to him? Who would he meet? His heart began to race as he imagined meeting Firestar there. Panic began to rise in his chest at the thought. If Firestar was there, then that meant that he was dead and Graystripe had to become the true ThunderClan leader in his place.
"Graystripe, look at me." The medicine cat's voice was low as she moved to crouch in front of him. They were both acutely aware of the various cats sheltering around them. "You don't have to go if you don't want to. I could go alone if I need to. But ThunderClan needs to see that you're one of the leaders, and the other Clans will expect you to go with them too. You are ThunderClan's leader now and you have to be a part of these decisions."
"It's not just that," Graystripe looked down at his paws uncomfortably. There was a lot going through his mind and he tried to find the right words. "It's just… I've never spoken to StarClan before. I've never even seen the Moonstone. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to say?"
She gave him a long, warm look. "There's no need to be afraid of your warrior ancestors. The Moonstone is a wonderful place, and StarClan will welcome you gladly. The other medicine cats are going with their leaders, so I'll be there with you. I'll show you how to meet them."
"But what if they want to grant me nine lives?" Graystripe's voice trembled slightly with the question.
"Then that is your fate," Cinderpelt told him firmly in her hushed voice. She ran her tail along his shoulders carefully and said, "StarClan can work in surprising ways. I cannot predict what they will tell you tonight. But I do think that you should speak to them." She tilted her head as a new thought arose, "Have you eaten anything other than traveling herbs today?"
Graystripe shook his head and she looked relieved. "Good. You're not supposed to eat before visiting the Moonstone. Please make sure you eat afterward though. I don't want you feeling any worse than you have to."
"Have you ever seen the Moonstone, Graystripe?"
He felt a flush of embarrassment as Leopardstar addressed him. "No," he admitted. "I have only visited Highstones once, and that was when I was an apprentice. Bluestar did not have me follow her into the tunnels."
He could feel Blackstar's judgemental eyes on his pelt, but Tallstar spoke before anyone else could. His voice rumbled with pleasure. "What an experience you're in for then! The Moonstone is a wonderful thing. You should be excited to meet your ancestors. I'm sure they will greet you well."
Graystripe stayed quiet as the leaders continued to speak. As he trudged up the last stretch of slope towards Mouthermouth with his Clanmates behind him, he felt very out of place with the leaders. These cats knew StarClan. They had all seen the stone and received their nine lives from it, and Graystripe was left with the experience of an apprentice.
As they climbed over the last rise, the Clan cats collapsed from exhaustion near the entrance of the cave. The long sleep into sunhigh had done little for the Clan cats, who had a long journey ahead of them. They had argued in the morning whether or not to stay on the farm or continue onwards, and though Graystripe had not wanted to leave the shelter or the food, he knew that it had to be done.
Cinderpelt limped over to him now. "I will be joining you as we speak to StarClan." She told him. "All of ThunderClan will either be resting or hunting while we are gone, and Leafpaw should be okay taking over for the night. I left all of my herbs with her."
Graystripe nodded, his mouth too dry to speak, and they padded over to join the other three leaders and their medicine cats. The group, now completed with Graystripe and Cinderpelt, stepped into the darkness.
Graystripe held his breath as he walked along. He could hear Cinderpelt and the other cats both ahead of him and behind him. He felt his whiskers brush the sides of the tunnels, but he saw nothing in the total darkness.
He had always imagined what the Moonstone would be like, but he had never expected this. The trip was longer than he had ever imagined, and the stone quickly grew cold under his paws. The air became cool around him as well, and he thought again about the fact that he had never stood before StarClan. He had never seen the Moonstone himself, let alone tried to reach out and share dreams with his ancestors.
His mind swirled with anxious thoughts of who might greet him. Firestar, of course, was the first to come to mind. But then he wondered about all the other cats that he'd lost in his lifetime. Would Bluestar greet him? Or his other previous Clanmates like Lionheart or Whitestorm? What about his mate, Silverstream, or their daughter, Feathertail? Grief rose in his chest as he remembered each of these cats, but he tried to push it away as he felt a breeze on his whiskers.
He realized in that same heartbeat that he could see a very faint outline of Littlecloud in front of him. The light grew stronger until he had to squint his eyes against the brightness. The tunnel opened wide and the Moonstone shone like a thousand stars before them. Its glow bathed everything, alighting even his own pelt and making it a pale silver.
"Welcome to StarClan, Graystripe," Cinderpelt whispered as she stepped into the light. The other leaders and medicine cats strode forward to meet the stone, and Graystripe stood in the tunnel's entrance as he took in the sight breathlessly. He looked at the glowing stone, and then upwards at the hole that the shaft of moonlight was pouring in from.
The leaders and medicine cats wasted no time in settling before the stone and reaching forward to touch their noses to it. But Cinderpelt waited patiently for him, her tail curled over her paws as she watched him without expectation. He was lucky to have her by his side.
Graystripe stepped forward hesitantly, and as he faced the stone Cinderpelt instructed him quietly. "Step forward and touch your nose to the stone. Do not be alarmed if they don't come to you immediately. Sometimes it takes several heartbeats."
Graystripe hesitated, then forced himself to follow her instructions. His paws felt frozen and his mouth was dry with anticipation. With a steadying breath, he settled beside the stone and stretched his neck forward like the others had. He closed his eyes and touched his nose to the cold surface.
For several heartbeats, it was as Cinderpelt had said. He laid there with his nose pressed against the cold stone and everyone else laying very still beside him. But just as he wondered if he should pull back, he felt the change begin.
It was as though the ground had disappeared from beneath his paws. His vision had completely gone black. But he felt no fear. The calm of the Moonstone kept him still until his world was replaced by the lush surroundings of Fourtrees in greenleaf.
He found that Cinderpelt was beside him, but he was too busy staring around in awe at the four oaks to acknowledge her. Thick emotions came to him from seeing such a great monument restored back to its former glory. He turned and gazed at the Great Rock, which was no longer turned on its side and destroyed.
He turned in a circle in search of a StarClan warrior. Who would come to greet him? He peered around at the undergrowth.
"Something's wrong," Cinderpelt whispered beside him. Graystripe whirled around to look at her.
"What?" He asked in confusion. Fourtrees was here! It was healthy and green like he always pictured StarClan to be. What was wrong?
"Someone should have been here by now."
"What do you mean?" Graystripe said, a chill of dread pooling in his stomach with her words. "Why wouldn't they be here?"
"I didn't sense them in the cave either but I just thought…" Cinderpelt's pelt bristled. "Listen closely Graystripe. Do you hear any cats?"
Graystripe paused and swiveled his ears. He could hear the trees rustle in the soft breeze above them and a cry from a distant bird, but he heard nothing else. It was just the sounds of a healthy forest.
"StarClan is normally busy," Cinderpelt told him. "There is always a cat to greet you during visits, or one that we can find if no one is waiting for you. It is strange that we are alone."
"Is it because I'm here?" Graystripe asked hesitantly. "I'm not a leader or a medicine cat…"
"StarClan welcomes all," Cinderpelt assured him and laid her tail across his spine.
Graystripe was quiet as the medicine cat continued to look around for several more heartbeats. Then she meowed, "Follow me," and set off in the direction of where ThunderClan territory would be. Graystripe leaped up to follow the limping she-cat.
As they ventured further into the woods, he realized that this was not the ThunderClan territory that he knew. The path that they followed was unfamiliar, and though the scents were mostly ThunderClan here, he could smell the other three Clans mixed in as well. This was StarClan's land, he reminded himself. Though Fourtrees appeared to be the same, it looked as though the rest of the territories were not.
"There's someone!" Graystripe couldn't help but gasp as a faded, starry outline of a she-cat that he did not recognize appeared between the trees. She stared at him with wide blue eyes. It was as though she hadn't expected to see anyone else wandering the forest. "Who is that?"
Cinderpelt turned and watched the she-cat as she vanished from sight. Her ear twitched as though she heard something that Graystripe had not. "That was an old ThunderClan warrior," she told him, "StarClan is still around. They have not abandoned us, but they are very quiet."
Graystripe was still scanning the undergrowth, expecting the she-cat to reappear. This is not what he had been expecting from StarClan. He had been expecting Bluestar or Silverstream or Lionheart, not a silent and empty unfamiliar forest. Doubts began to rise in his mind.
"StarClan is unable to speak." Cinderpelt sighed as the forest began to fade around them. "We will receive no answers tonight."
Graystripe felt himself be lost in darkness for several long heartbeats before the cold stone returned under his paws. He opened his eyes to see the other leaders and medicine cats rousing from around the Moonstone as well.
He searched the gazes of the leaders. They all had carefully guarded expressions and no one spoke. Only Tallstar betrayed some of his emotions, and that was only through a confused glance that he shared with his medicine cat. Blackstar made for the entrance the second he was on his paws, and Littlecloud followed close behind. Leopardstar stared at the dim stone for a long moment, and Mothwing sat patiently beside her.
"Come, Graystripe," Cinderpelt whispered as she led him back into the narrow tunnel. Behind them, Tallstar and Barkface followed as they padded back towards the entrance.
"Remember," she breathed as they neared the entrance. "We must not share what we saw tonight with anyone."
Graystripe woke the next morning to Ravenpaw dropping a rabbit at his paws. "A parting gift," the loner said.
Graystripe sat up and looked at his friend. Last night, after Graystripe and the others had emerged from Mothermouth, Brambleclaw had announced that they had seen the dying warrior as a star that fell beyond the mountains. The Clans now knew where to journey towards, and after some morning hunting they would be off again.
"I wish you could come." He mumbled and heard his Clanmates shift and wake around him. Sandstorm stretched beside him and opened her eyes to look at Ravenpaw.
"You'd be welcome in ThunderClan after all you have done." She meowed.
Ravenpaw purred weakly. "Clan life isn't for me and you know it. Besides, I couldn't just abandon Barley. This is my home."
Graystripe had already known what Ravenpaw's answer was going to be, but hearing it aloud didn't make him any less sad. He understood that Ravenpaw couldn't leave his home. If Graystripe had a choice, he wouldn't be leaving either. It just hurt to leave both Firestar and Ravenpaw behind.
"But I will never forget the Clans," Ravenpaw promised. "And I will never forget you and Firestar, and all of the things that you two have done for me."
Graystripe gazed at his friend with sad fondness. Memories of all the adventures they had had together entered his mind, and he said, "So much has happened. With Bluestar and Tigerstar… And BloodClan…"
"And it's not over yet." Ravenpaw reminded him. "You have a journey ahead of you, and I have a life here. I trust StarClan to guide you all safely. And if I see Firestar, I'll be sure to point him in the right direction."
"Thank you, Ravenpaw." Graystripe purred weakly and stretched forward to brush muzzles with his friend. His throat felt thick with emotion and he wanted to never pull away. He had lost so much already.
Ravenpaw drew away slowly. "Goodbye, Graystripe. I wish you swift hunting and easy shelter on all of your journey ahead."
"May StarClan light your path always, Ravenpaw." Graystripe watched as the loner turned and bounded back down the slope and headed for his barn. Most of the Clan cats were awake and stirring now, but Sandstorm stayed at his side and watched Ravenpaw disappear.
Dustpelt organized hunting patrols to be set out and as the cats began to move about, Graystripe felt as though he'd never want to leave the spot that he lay in. He didn't want to leave the forest or his friends, and he didn't want to travel across mountains into unfamiliar territory and dangerous situations. He didn't want to lead ThunderClan or pretend to be strong anymore. He just wanted life to go back to how it was before the Twolegs ever stepped foot inside their forest.
"May I take this to Ferncloud and the kits?"
Graystripe's head turned as he heard Leafpaw's hesitant voice. He had not heard her approach, and she gestured to the rabbit at Graystripe's paws.
Graystripe almost told Leafpaw no, that it was his rabbit. He remembered Cinderpelt's words, about how he should eat to keep up his strength for the journey and for this Clan. But when he looked down at the freshly caught prey, the very last thing that he wanted to do was eat. It didn't matter how many moons that he'd been hungry for. There was a heavy weight in his mind and his chest and he felt queasy just thinking about eating.
"Of course," Sandstorm answered for him. "I'm sure she'll appreciate it."
Leafpaw looked timidly at Graystripe, then ducked down and grabbed the rabbit. Quickly, she hauled it over to where the queen was trying to wrangle the three kits for a quick grooming.
The Clan cats continued to move around Graystripe and Sandstorm. The hunting patrols came back eventually, and Cinderpelt finished doing her morning work. Cats settled down to eat and talk, and Sandstorm grabbed a mouse to share between them. Graystripe still couldn't bring himself to take a bite though. A strange dull feeling had met him, and he wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep.
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