Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I do not have any rights to Harry Potter and I do not make any money from writing these fics.

A/N: Written for the Procrastinators United Competition, the One Million Words Added Challenge, the Pairing Diversity Boot Camp Challenge, the 335 Pairing Bonanza Challenge, the If You Dare...Continued Challenge and The Twelve Days of Christmas Challenge.

Prompts: Charlie Weasley/Herpo the Foul, There is nothing like a good dose of another (wo)man to make a (wo)man appreciate his/her husband/wife, Motorcycles, and about a Weasley.

All I Wanted

Charlie let out a low groan as he sat in the middle of the empty dragon layer muttering a large amount of curses and glaring at the smirking man standing in front of him.

"You know what?" Charlie said suddenly gaining the bald man's attention, "When I got asked to check out an empty dragon's nest because there was a chance an egg was left behind I would of never thought it would be your head or that I would find you of all people!"

"My powers are strong and I have taken several steps against death," Herpo replied calmly as he began to stroke his long beard, "I was simply in a deep sleep until the right time came to awaken."

"I heard it was because your wife caught you having sex with another woman and lost it," Charlie said dryly only to raise his eyebrow as Herpo gave him a wicked grin.

"There is nothing like a good dose of another woman to make a woman appreciate her husband," Herpo answered with a dark grin on his face making Charlie groan.

"You are not meant to be proud of the fact your wife caught you cheating!" Charlie all but shouted out hoping to alert any close by dragon tamers, "If you get married you are meant to be loyal! Through considering who I am talking to I should not be surprise!"

"Oh? You have heard of my amazing talents and powers have you?" Herpo asked with a large wicked grin as he gave Charlie a naughty wink which only made Charlie shudder in disgust, "Does it impress you that I am so powerful? Do you want to get to know me very well."

"I do not want to get to you know very well!" Charlie cried out his face going a mixture of red and green, "I would rather ride on one of those muggle motorcycle death traps then be in the same bed ten you!"

"Death traps?" Herpo asked perking up excitedly causing Charlie to put his face in his hand, "You know what a man likes, it seems that you are not only good to look at but also poses a good mind."

"Thank you but I am not interested in you and I will never be," Charlie said as he politely declined as he remembered just how powerful and dark the wizard standing in front of him was, "I have an idea, why don't we get out of this cave and make our way down to where the rest of my friends are?"

"And why should we bother with going to meet your friends for?" Herpo asked as he glared at Charlie and held his snake staff tightly, "If this is some ploy..."

"It is not!" Charlie cried out desperately as Herpo saw right through his plan, "I just thought you might be more comfortable inside a proper house with food and drink and chairs is all...maybe even a proper bed?"

"A proper bed you say?" Herpo asked with a smirk on his face causing Charlie to want to bang his head on the wall, "Are you trying to tell me something? I swing both ways if that is what you are trying to ask me."

Unable to think up a response Charlie simply shook his head and stayed silent as he carefully watched the man who history said that he was the first dark wizard ever and that he had created several dark spells and was the first known parslemouth, he breaded Basilisk's and also created the first Horcrux.

'I do not know if I should be running for my life or worrying about my innocence' Charlie thought dryly as he watched Herpo who had began to pace again with a thoughtful expression on his face 'I wonder what is going on through his mind...I wonder why he put himself into such a deep sleep all these years for...'

As if reading his mind Herpo paused in his pacing and turned to stare Charlie straight in the eyes. As blue eyes met yellow eyes Charlie found himself glued to his seat and unable to move as his heart pounded in his chest.

"I can see that you have a question that you want to ask me," Herpo said as he gazed into Charlie's blue eyes, "You want to know what colour underwear I am wearing, you naughty thing."

"Are you insane!" Charlie cried out in shock as he fell off of the small raised rock he had been sitting on, "I was going to ask you why did you put yourself into a magical sleep for if all you wanted to do when you woke up is flirt!"

"My dear fiery one, I wanted to do so much more that just play mind games with the first person I saw when I woke from my long slumber," Herpo said as a serious expression crossed his face causing a wave of fear to go through Charlie, "I was hoping that you would be willing to do me a...little favour."

"A favour?" Charlie asked as a frown appeared on his face, "I do not like where this is going."

"Do not be like that, I promise it won't hurt...much," Herpo said with a large grin causing Charlie to pull his wand, "I can even make it pleasurable for you if you want me too."

"Sorry but I will not be helping you out in the near future or the past or whenever," Charlie said carefully as he discreetly pointed his wand at Herpo, "How about we go down to where my friends are? We have come fully repeated for anything so we are bound to have what you are looking for."

"Oh Pooie, why did you have to go and spoil my fun for?" Herpo asked with a pout causing Charlie to sigh in relief, "All I wanted was a fresh heart."

End.