First I do Whumptober, and now I'm doing Febuwhump? I almost feel bad for my favorite characters. Almost.

Also, hi Merlin fandom! It's been a few months.


Arthur was tired.

No, it wasn't a bone-deep weariness or anything as dramatic as that.

It was a can-bandits-stop-abducting-me-for-once kind of tired.

And Merlin wasn't helping.

"Do you think they'll actually follow through on their threats for once?" Arthur asked him, tugging a little at the cuffs chaining him to the ceiling. They didn't budge. He frowned.

Merlin shrugged from a similar position beside him. "They never do. We always escape before that."

Because of your magic, Arthur thought.

Oh, and that was the other thing.

Merlin had magic.

Merlin had magic and didn't know that Arthur knew he had it.

"I don't know about that. These aren't just your run-of-the-mill bandits, are they? They're smarter than most," he pointed out, seeing as they had actually tied them up instead of throwing them in a cell. He was also still miffed about the bandit who had stolen his sword and given him a black eye (or what felt like one), so there was that.

Merlin wasn't much better, blood trickling from the side of his head. He shrugged again. "Yes, well, maybe if you hadn't decided to go hunting today, we wouldn't have gotten captured!"

Arthur gaped. Merlin was blaming him? "Today was a perfectly fine day to go hunting!"

"Yes, if you forget about the mud from yesterday's rain storm, and the cold." He pouted. One of the most powerful sorcerers Arthur knew (not that he knew many) pouted.

"It's not my fault you slipped into that mud puddle. You're the clumsiest servant in the world!" He kicked Merlin's muddied shin to prove his point. "I should fire you," he added as an afterthought, even though he probably wasn't going to do it.

He ignored Merlin's knowing smirk and pulled at the chains above him some more.

"That's not going to work."

"Well it's certainly not going to work if you don't try," Arthur shot back. And, okay, maybe he felt a little bad for dragging Merlin along, but today had been his first day off in two months! He had simply wanted to escape his princely duties, and the bandits had waltzed in and interrupted his leisure.

So impolite. The next time they were abducted, he would teach them about princely etiquette.

He struggled some more. Out of the corner of his eye, Merlin was getting antsy, glancing at the chains above him and then at Arthur, repeatedly.

Well, at least the idiot knew Arthur would catch him using magic if he were to do it now. (What he didn't know was that Arthur could see the flying bandits and falling tree branches, thank you very much.)

Arthur sighed. "Well? Get us out of here," he said. He was tired. He wanted to go back to his room and sleep for a thousand years. He wanted Merlin to stop being an idiot and help him get there.

But, well...Merlin was always an idiot.

"How am I supposed to get us out of here?" Merlin asked, blinking innocently (too innocently, if you asked Arthur). "You're the one with the sword and the thick muscles."

"I don't have my sword now," Arthur grumbled. "But don't you have a weapon or something?"

Merlin stared. "You've seen me hold a sword. There's a good chance I'd accidentally stab myself before hurting any bandits. Why would I have a sword?"

Arthur scowled. "I don't necessarily mean a sword. Just...a weapon." He thought he was being very clear, but apparently Merlin needed some prodding.

"Arthur, I don't have a weapon."

"But you have something that can get us out of here, don't you?" Arthur asked pointedly. Talking with Merlin was giving him a headache.

"If you mean I have the keys to these, I don't," Merlin said, irritated. Arthur noticed him flexing his fingers, as if itching to use his magic. And, well, Arthur couldn't prevent him from doing that, could he?

"Just get us out of here, Merlin. I'll never take you on a hunting trip again." That was a lie, but whatever.

"You're the prince! Why do you think I can get us out of here?" Merlin asked hysterically.

Arthur groaned in frustration. "Magic!" he blurted out. "Use your magic!"

Merlin blinked. Once. Twice. "Magic? What do you mean magic?" he asked hurriedly, eyes wide.

Oh, and he was a terrible liar, wasn't he? It was a wonder the entirety of Camelot didn't know about his secret by now. "You. Have. Magic," Arthur said, words clipped. "And you can use it to get us out of here."

"Magic? What magic? No magic here!" Merlin laughed nervously, and Arthur rolled his eyes.

"I don't know...maybe the magic you used to get us out of here the last time? And the time before that?" Arthur asked pointedly. Maybe Merlin had hit his head harder than he'd thought.

Merlin closed his eyes in resignation. "Okay. I have magic," he said in a small voice.

Arthur rolled his eyes again. Maybe he'd get an award for it. "I figured," he said dryly. "Now get us out of here."

Merlin opened his eyes, and they were gold.

The cuffs snapped open, and the lock on the door clicked. Arthur calmly walked over and pushed the wood until it swung out on its hinges, only to be met with the group of bandits that had abducted them.

He immediately tackled one and punched another out, looking back to see Merlin still standing in the doorway. "A little help, Merlin?!"

"Oh, yes. Right." He pushed three other bandits into the opposite wall without losing a breath. Arthur rolled his eyes and stuck out his foot to trip a bandit running towards them.

He took a sword from the fallen bandit, and they continued to fight side-by-side. It felt right.

Merlin turned towards him with narrowed eyes. "How long have you known?!"

Arthur shrugged, parrying a sword. "A few years now?"

"A few years?"

"Well you're not exactly subtle with it, are you?!"

Merlin pushed a whole group of mercenaries into their previously abandoned cell and locked the door behind them, all with a flick of his fingers, before giving Arthur an incredulous look. "And you haven't executed me?!"

Oh, he was definitely an idiot, even with the magic. "Why would I execute you?!" He stabbed a particularly burly mercenary in the stomach. One bandit down, two to go.

He turned towards the others, only to find Merlin knocking them unconscious with a flash of gold. Arthur had to admit he was slightly intimidated. "I dunno. Maybe because it's illegal?"

Arthur sighed. "I've seen you do good with it. Laws can be wrong."

Merlin blinked. Once. Twice. "This makes my life so much easier."

"I forbid you from using magic to complete your chores."

"Damn it."


"So the bandits captured you, and you managed to escape?"

"Yes, Father," Arthur replied, hands clasped in front of him and back straight. Merlin was standing by the wall, still in his muddied clothes and shoes.

"And how exactly did you manage to do that?" the King asked, not quite skeptically, but simply seeking for information.

Out of the corner of his eye, Merlin stiffened. Arthur smiled. "Merlin managed to snag the ring of keys from one of the bandits."

"Merlin?"

Arthur resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "My manservant."

His father nodded, as if he knew exactly who that was. "Ah...I see."

"But of course, as soon as I got ahold of a weapon, I fought my way out valiantly while he cowered in fear."

His father nodded again, taking in the information. If Merlin were to win an award for blinking in shock, then Uther could win one for nodding silently after others spoke. "Thank you for your report. You are dismissed."

Arthur nodded, bowed slightly, and walked out calmly. Merlin followed him, and they stayed silent until they had turned a few corners.

"'Cowered in fear'?!" Merlin whispered, shooting Arthur a completely offended look.

Arthur shrugged, smile smug. "Had to make the story believable for my father."

And, sure, he felt a little bit bad that Merlin wouldn't get the credit he deserved, that magic would never be free while his father was in reign, that Merlin would still be in danger. But...

Merlin scoffed. "And that includes you 'valiantly fighting your way out'?!"

All of that was swept away in favor of trapping Merlin in a headlock and rubbing his knuckles harshly into his scalp.

"Ah...Arthur! Stop! Stopstopstop!" Arthur laughed (they both knew Merlin could get away if he actually tried), and only let go when a servant entered the hallway.

Merlin pouted and tried to fix his ruffled hair. And this - this was still Merlin, even with the magic. He wasn't sure why he was so angry when he had first figured it all out.

Of course, he wasn't angry now.

"So we're good?" Merlin asked tentatively, wringing his hands together but meeting Arthur's eyes.

Arthur smiled, reaching out to clasp his shoulder. "We're perfect."