Oh god, this is going to take me a thousand years to write. The ending I have planned is pretty good so I don't want to stop now, I'm determined to see this through.
Yes, I know Kazuma/Megumin is the more popular ship by a huge margin, and no I don't necessarily have any issues with that pairing. I wish all the Kazumin shippers a long, happy, fulfilling life because I will die a happy man in the knowledge that my ship is objectively better. I'm sorry it has to be this way, I don't make the rules. I didn't want to be the one to tell you Aqua is Best Girl. I'm so sorry.
Anyway, you all be civil, treat one another as friends, and enjoy your lives. Glory to the Axis Order.
WARNING: Next part has a sex scene, it's not very long and not really explicit (depending on how you want to define that). Once again, I am sorry.
Chapter 3: Fallen Angel, Risen Devil
Even though it was the middle of the day the large dining room in Kyouya's castle was quite cold. A large space like that requires a lot of heat to keep warm and people like Aqua don't wear a lot of clothes to cover themselves so need to keep warm through external heat sources. Yunyun used the Flame Magic she had been working on in the last few months to light and self-sustaining, raging fire at the edge of the room which would stay contained without setting anything nearby on fire but warming the entire room.
Wiz introduced Yunyun for her presentation, where the latter sought to explain the powers of the Archangels.
"The leader is Emmanuel Abaddon" she began nervously before the crowd, "He uses Invocation Magic, which lets him summon devils from the Hellish Realm, a spiritual antithesis to the Divine Realm, where live lots of gigantic and powerful creatures. The weakness is that he summons creatures at random and he can only summon one at a time, so that rabbit there is stopping him summoning any others as long as it is still alive"
Megumin continued to pet the bunny sitting on her lap while Chomsuke tried to kill it so he wouldn't have any more competition for her affection anymore.
"The next is Azrael. You didn't see him, but sources tell me he uses Contract Magic. Within some limitation he can make contracts with people whereby they agree to certain conditions or to pay some kind of fee and in exchange he can grant them wishes that seem to be able to warp reality itself to make themselves come true"
Aqua is sitting awfully far away from me, Kazuma thought to himself, trying to be inconspicuous as he glanced at her from the corner of his eye on the far end of the sofa they were both sitting on. I hope she didn't just kiss me out of pity. What was I thinking? Everyone was watching us, she didn't want to break my heart.
"Then we have Uriel. He cast a series of fairly standard spells, with a few nasty ones in there, but his main gimmick is Rune Magic. When he draws runes, chalk circles on surfaces lines with magic symbols, he can pay for his more powerful spells by spending the mana of anyone standing inside his runes rather than using his own mana. Then we have Gabriel, she's a succubus who uses Light Magic. She can focus photons of light into powerful laser beams and also bend photons around herself or others to make them invisible to humans"
"But logically" Kyouya asked, raising his hand, "If she bends light around herself so no light reflects off her, thus making it so we can't see her, then how is she able to see? If her eyes are invisible, then her retinas would not detect light and she couldn't see, right?"
"That, I don't know" Yunyun conceded, "It's possible some of the members have improved versions of these common abilities, removing weaknesses like the temporary blindness that you're talking about"
I must have looked so pathetic, Kazuma wept to himself, telling her all about how hard my life was and I would be nothing without her. That's not like me, is it? What have I done? In an effort to convince her I'm good enough for her I told her I didn't have any friends? What is wrong with me?
"There's Raphael, who uses Electromagnetism Magic. Not only does it let him create magnetic fields to levitate metal objects like telekinesis, but by changing the electrical charges of particles in different regions, can create electrical currents and unleash electricity. The only weakness I can see is that the electricity will naturally gravitate towards conductors so he has to use metals objects that he is manipulating to direct it towards enemies. This should make it a little easier to dodge if we can predict where it is going to go"
"Do you have any information on the last one?" Kyouya asked.
"Yes" Yunyun began, nervously rubbing her arm and shifting about on the spot, "You originally suspected Amitiel could stop time like you, but I'm afraid it's much worse. He seems to have honed the ability to the point it has evolved into a new stage. It's called Time-Skip Magic"
I need to look like a capable warrior, Kazuma told himself like an epiphany had dawned on him, "But how does it work?" he asked, appearing to look engaged with the conversation even though he hadn't listened to a thing Yunyun said before this.
"The short answer is he skips some chosen amount of time. Basically, during the skipped time nothing happens. A more accurate way to put it is that he can move about, but he cannot attack or be attacked during this time. Attacks will be launched but do no damage to anyone. When time resumes, anything that happened during those seconds is retroactively erased and only he will retain any memories of the erased events. If an attack requires mana to be paid in order to use it, or induces some kind of exhaustion" she said, glancing over non-judgementally at Megumin, "then the effects will still occur. Landscape and terrain is still damaged, mana is still spent, but for any living creature in the area, it's as if the attack didn't happen"
"In what way is different to my ability?" Kyouya asked.
"For one, if Amitiel had the Phoenix Beam or Wyvern Buster, then everyone single person in this room would be dead" she began, "But compared to you, his defensive capability is on another level. The best illustration was when Megumin unleashed her explosion. For you, Kyouya, to escape you would have to pause time, giving you 5 seconds to get to a safe distance. If for whatever reason you were trapped or the blast radius was too large to escape in time, you would die. Amitiel simply skips a couple seconds until after the explosion has went off, and is unharmed without having to move a muscle"
Aqua realised that this is why it appeared her attacks passed through him, he simply skipped time until after her punch had been thrown.
"Is there a cost to using it?" Kazuma asked, "What's the delay between uses? Is there a limit to how much time can be skipped over?"
"For that I don't know. It's not directly-proportional like the Time-Stop, where recharge is equal to the amount of skipped time. He seems to be able to reuse it much too fast for that to be the case. I have no idea what the limit is. My best guess is that the recharge time does increase the longer the skipped time, to the point that after some critical point, the recharge time is longer than the amount of time he skipped. If he skips too much, it might become unusable"
"I feel like we aren't any closer to winning" said Kazuma, "If it's the rabbit they're after, then our best bet is to try and run away"
"You want to run?" asked Darkness. At this point he couldn't tell if she was objecting because she didn't want to miss the chance to get massacred or she felt a moral obligation to stop Abaddon.
Kazuma crossed his leg over the other indignantly, postulating regally, "If you must know, I'm somewhat torn on this"
"How so?" Aqua asked
"Well" he began, turning to Aqua, "If we run, then we do not have to risk our lives fighting nigh-invincible demon knights"
"Sounds good" said Megumin, still petting the rabbit she was now sworn to protect due to a deep emotional attachment to cute, precious, fluffy things.
"However?" asked Aqua, egging him on to reveal the inevitable "catch."
"Uh, how to put this" he stammered, "We'll have nowhere to live if we're constantly on the run. Otherwise, we can stay in this castle until as long as Kyouya will tolerate"
Kyouya stayed silent, somehow knowing that he basically didn't have a choice and was stuck with them as long he didn't have the heart to throw them out.
"We should fight them" said Aqua
"And by "we" you mean everyone except you?" Kazuma retorted
"Basically yes" she began, "But we might never get another chance to defeat Abaddon in our lives. If we run, he will be free to torment villages as much as we wants"
The others watched on like disappointed parents watching their children fighting but not knowing who is in the wrong or right so just opting to awkwardly stay out of it.
"And?" Kazuma replied, egging her on to explain why this was their problem. "It's my duty to protect my village, but if we move between villages then I avoid having to have a home village and therefore I'm not obligated to protect any of them as long as I have the option to evacuate"
Aqua gave a big sigh, which Kazuma thought was rather cute. He thought he had just been firm with her, but perhaps he was being needlessly antagonistic. Why was Aqua taking the opposing side to him? She was allowed to if she wanted, but it didn't seem right. Surely she'd take the selfish route as well.
"If you want" she said, "I'll respect your wish as well. We can evacuate, but as a compromise we stay here for tonight and start moving tomorrow. If we run, that means we're back at the stables again"
Kazuma's ears perked up. "Just like old times" she said.
The guild retired to their rooms. Megumin had taken to sleeping curled up like a cat while Chomsuke attempted to mimic her sleeping position. She was unfortunately talked into keeping the rabbit in a cage, which Wiz helpfully enacted a curse on which would wake them all up if it was breached. Megumin had initially hoped it would sleep next to her and be so comfortable it didn't attempt to go anywhere but it was imperative for them to ensure it stayed alive and that they knew where it was at all times.
Given Kazuma and Aqua's mutual confession, Darkness felt safe enough not to try and lock him out of her room but she still didn't entirely trust him. Kazuma and Aqua shared a room for the night.
Naturally, Kazuma only had his mind on one thing.
They had positioned themselves on opposite ends of the bed. The bed was huge, it was at least a thirty second walk from one end to the other, four poster and at least a few dozen pillows. They both threw a decent amount on the floor otherwise they'd be sleeping almost upright. The covers on the other hand were scarce and quite thin.
"We should sleep closer to each other so we can get warmth from each other's bodies" Kazuma said
"What?", came a faint answer from the distance.
"WE SHOOULD SLEEP HOLDINIG EACH OTHER FOR WARMTH!" he shouted all the over to the far side of the bed.
Excellent, he thought, Aqua doesn't suspect a thing.
As Aqua began to move towards the middle of the bed Kazuma followed suit. They were both wearing pyjamas in their trademark green and blue colours, top and bottoms made from cotton with nylon lining and trim.
Aqua lay lined up with his side so they were touching. Both still fully dressed.
"Okay, night, night" she said and closed her eyes.
"I'm still a bit cold" he said, "Maybe we should cuddle closer"
"I'm feeling alright" she replied, "If we cuddle closer then I might get too warm, especially with these winter pyjamas on"
"In that case why don't you take some off?"
"Good idea" she said gullibly, "Wait. I think you have some kind of ulterior motive"
"Perish the thought"
Aqua turned around and Kazuma held her from behind, pulling her in close. His arms wrapped around her waist he began to move his grip further up her torso until he could feel the underside of her breasts pressing against his arms. "At least I got this far tonight" he said to himself. He pulled her closer so he could feel the full warmth of her body next to his. Aside from when his mother used to hold him he never got this close to a woman, this kind of non-familial affection was alien to him, the closest analogue he had was like hugging a full-size teddy-bear. It was relaxing, even if he never got lucky he might sleep quite soundly tonight. He nuzzled his face into her shoulder like a pillow, her sweet, soft hair gently stroking his face. "This is nice" he thought, before his thoughts turned to, "Now that I think about it, holding another person is the best I've felt in years, just how starved of affection was I?"
In fact, the intimacy might have excited him more than he expected.
"What's that?" Aqua said, her eyes now pried open. She could feel something pressing against her rear.
"Chunchunmaru" he said
Aqua spun around to look him in the eyes, still wrapped in his arms. "What's this, Kazuma?" she said teasingly, "You're blushing"
"…" he said bashfully
She laughed, "It's so cute"
"Stop mocking me" he said, as if going to cry
"I'm not, you're totally adorable!" she squeed with joy. "So you finally see what a charming goddess I can be"
"I suppose, yes" he said, diverting his eyes away in embarrassment
"That's it" the arrogant water deity said, "Whimper like a baby before divinity…"
Kazuma interrupted her by kissing her. It was super effective. "Be quiet you useless goddess" he whispered
"How dare you" she whispered in response, and dove in to continue the kiss.
Kazuma pulled her face away from his, holding it a short distance from him he took the time to stare into her eyes. "You really are beautiful, like a goddess should be. I bet I'm luckier than any of those popular guys at school." Kazuma had felt at least a slight tinge of jealousy of them considering they were still alive. Lucky bastards will probably make it all the way to their life expectancy.
Aqua surprisingly gave a flirtatious smile, "Oh I bet they would be, she said, pouting her lips. She then unbuttoned her blouse.
Kazuma's jaw practically unhinged like a snake devouring its prey. His eyes were wide like vinyl records and his face was completely frozen in this flabbergasted expression. He spoke like he was choking and gasping for air, "I bet none of them will get to have sex with a goddess!"
He wondered for an instant if anyone else in the house would hear him. Not that he cared. He wanted them to hear. Burn with envy at the mighty Lord Kazuma, he thought, imagining himself like some kind of Underworld Archlord," the high school boy who boned a goddess".
"Divine as a goddess' should be, aren't they?" Aqua said
"Yunyun's are better" he mumbled in slight disappointment.
He looked up, "I WAS ONLY JOKING!" he screamed in a panic as she covered them back up and began crying profusely with the intensity of a burst sewage pipe.
"I don't believe you Kazu-Scum!" she wailed, "How can you say something like that?!"
"I thought you would find that funny! Please forgive me!"
After Kazuma barely saved his chance at losing his virginity, both were now in a complete state of undress. Aqua was wet. Kazuma didn't want to say 'like water' but honestly there wasn't really any other way he could think to phrase it. He was extremely tense, stiff as a board. He began moving his hips back and forth in a manner that was unnaturally robotic.
"I think you just need to relax a little" she politely suggested.
"Why?" he asked anxiously, "Are you not enjoying this?"
Thank goodness the bed was huge because the entire middle was now a puddle of sweat from a very panicked and nervous Kazuma.
"It's fine, really" she said, "But it could be better if you were more natural and human-like"
He tried being a bit more fluid, and together they gently eased into it.
"This is more like it" she said grinning, "I hope you've got a lot of energy because I'm ready to do this all nigh-"
"I'm going to come" he said
"Uh…excuse me?"
"I'm about to finish" he clarified, not that she had misinterpreted him. A look of worry emerged on her face when she saw Kazuma's eyebrows raise and his previously tense-looking facial expression soften. The ends of his mouth curled into a smile before he lay down next to her. He buried his face into her chest and held her tight.
"That was amazing" he said
"Uuuuh…"
"Hope you have a good sleep. Alright, good night"
Just like that, he had run out of battery and was in deep unconsciousness.
"Honestly" Aqua said, not worrying about any chance of waking him up, "My first time still surpassed expectations. Ah well, good night"
As the sun began to rise, Kazuma and Aqua had both managed to get about 4 or 5 hours of sleep. The excitement of the broad new horizons their world had to offer now that they were in a relationship of sorts, combined with the feat that deadly demonic lieutenants were baying for their blood prevented them from relaxing enough to sleep for any more than a short period of time. Kazuma in particular worried greatly.
"What if she only agreed to date me out of pity?", he thought, relitigating the still-unresolved issue in his mind. "What if she only kissed me because she liked it? What if she only had sex with me out of pity?"
The paranoia was likely circumstantial due to the paranoia that Abaddon's forces could kill them at any point. It was true to an extent that all he was had was at a high risk of being lost forever, just at the hands of butchers and psychopaths and not for the reasons Kazuma thought.
It was then expected that just as Kazuma was worried about them arriving, the devils' high command came knocking. One of Kyouya's guild members sprinted through the castle furiously banging his sword and shield to wake the sleeping warriors. Once Yunyun was wakened, she ignited a powerful flame spell to get anyone still feeling a little groggy out of their beds and running; either for evacuation or equipment to fight with.
In terror, Kazuma and Aqua tried to hurry each other to safety and ended up somehow launching each other out of the bed with force. Kazuma wanted to flee but he had accepted that by the time they put their clothes back on, the Archangels would already be on top of the castle.
"Looks like you got your wish" he told Aqua, "We'll have to fight them after all. Got any ideas?"
"I think you know very well I don't"
The archers on the balcony fired a rain of arrows at the enemies approaching but all were frozen in space by a powerful magnetic field that proceeded to launch them back at Mach speed in the direction they all came from.
"The archers were killed by Raphael!" someone yelled. "We should have passed on the information about the enemy using Electromagnetism to the side-characters and maybe they wouldn't have used metal arrowheads!"
A line-up of knights in metal armour with metal swords, shields and spears all exchanged worried looks before running in the opposite direction. "We didn't think this all the way through" Kyouya remarked, "Or even, like, five percent of the way through. This is a disaster"
A bolt of lightning travelled through a hole burnt in the door by a laser and immediately travelled to the metal armour the fleeing soldiers were wearing, incapacitating each one instantly.
"Here's where our demonic attack dogs would devour their flesh and marrow!" Gabriel cackled, licking her lips in delight.
"Alright, Pikachu and the Invisible Woman are in the atrium" Kazuma remarked, "Just need to find Circle-Drawing Guy and Time-Skipping Bitch"
Darkness charged in to battle Raphael who simply lifted her up by her armour and tossed her aside. "You're not even going to zap me a little?" she whined, "What am I even doing here?"
"I feel a little nervous" Gabriel confided, "Marching straight in through the front door without Amitiel"
"He's pompous and a killjoy, it's good to get away from him every once in a while. Plus he smells"
"I know. He acts far too elegant and dignified for someone with such poor personal hygiene. He's always reeking of a different kind of sweat each day, how is that even possible?"
Megumin came out to battle as well while they were distracted complaining about their boss. "I don't carry anything metal, so now's my time to shine!"
"Where's your magic staff-thingy?" Gabriel asked coyly
"It's a sceptre!" she insisted dramatically, "and it's…"
Nowhere.
"You left it somewhere in this room, but now I've bent photons around it so you can't see it. Only I know where it is"
"Uh oh"
"Why don't you teach me that incantation of yours? A weapon like that would be a fun addition to my arsenal. I could use it to disassemble families and homes much faster and less painfully than through my current method of slow dissection with lasers!"
"I usually just make up the incantation each time, in fact, you really don't need to…" Suddenly Megumin pulled out a small stick with a gem on the end and then twisted the top. It unscrewed and extended into a shorter version of her sceptre. "I have another one! Ballistic Deathball!"
A bright red orb of energy zoomed across the room, "Oh sh-!" Gabriel said before being blasted across room like she took a direct hit from a grenade launcher. She ragdolled into a heap, her face exploded-silly in a daze.
With the invisibility spell worn off, Megumin dashed to recover her sceptre. "Not so fast" Raphael interrupted and launched his metal blob at her.
Darkness through herself into the path of it, at least partly to protect Megumin.
"Excellent idea!" said a now-elated Raphael and proceeded to pick up Darkness again, by her armour, and launch her at Megumin instead, slamming the two into each other.
"This is fun!" he shouted.
Kazuma had emerged ready to fight, rushing down the hallway towards the atrium. If he couldn't find the Time-Skipper Amitiel then he'd help the other two. It was then he saw Aqua waiting for him. He should have expected she'd have the bright idea to try and fight entirely in a metal bikini.
"Aqua, you dumbass!" he shouted as he stormed down the hallway towards like a bull, "I expected a little better from…"
Kazuma paused tentatively, even this was a little much for him.
"What's wrong Kazuma?" she asked, enticing him to come a little closer.
"STEAL!" he said, reaching out his hand towards her.
"Eh?!"
Kazuma closed his fist and lunged at her with his sword, swinging it precisely in her direction. She raised a sword to block and Kazuma drew his bow, aiming it for a long distance attack.
"What? Why would you attack your teammate like this?!" she screamed like she always did.
Kazuma frowned deep and held out his hand, holding before him a pair of underwear. "You're wearing panties, you fraud!"
He launched his arrow, utilising his high-luck stat he was able to land a direct hit through the Trinity Armour. The rearranged rays of light wore off, to reveal Gabriel underneath.
"What's going on here?" asked Aqua, appearing from an unrelated hallway down which she had obviously gotten lost.
"She's a succubus, so she used her photon manipulation to alter the rays of light coming off her to make herself resemble you in order to trick me into coming closer" he explained, retrieving his arrow from her body, "Even you wouldn't be stupid enough to wear metal armour to fight a person who manipulates metal"
He turned to look at her. Despite how stupid she is, Kazuma could even give her the benefit of the doubt. As divine as he found her naked last night she was equally gorgeous dressed in her metal armour.
"You ARE a dumbass!" he said, lightly smacking her on the back of the head, "And to think I thought you were smarter than that!"
"I'm sorry" she cried, "You're right, I'll go change"
Gabriel's not here anymore, Raphael observed, looking at the corner of the room her exploded body landed, I hope she's not getting herself into any trouble wherever she is. He pushed the thought from his mind and continued with his act of mindlessly smashing one armoured girl into another girl over and over.
Amitiel finally entered the castle. "Ok, you can stop that now. I'll need you to act as my offence while we search for the rabbit"
"You always were too serious" Raphael scoffed, "The exploding girl is here, which means we can be fairly safe the rabbit hasn't gotten far since it seems to only follow her"
"Then bring her with you and we'll keep her in our sights"
"She's not wearing any metal so I can't levitate her over to me"
Amitiel rubbed his temples in frustration, "You've gotten so lazy since you learned to lift things telekinetically" he complained, "Why not just lift her manually with your own hands?"
"Ok" he replied cautiously. Admittedly it was true that it had been months since he walked over to an object to pick it up.
An arrow launched into the room from Kyouya's bow, passing straight through Amitiel and hitting Raphael in the chest.
"What the hell?" Raphael roared, heavily winded and pulling the arrow from his chestplate, "Why didn't you skip until after it passed through both of us and not just yourself?"
"You annoyed me and therefore you deserved it" Amitiel responded dryly. He turned to Kyouya, "I'll take you out as easily as I did last time"
"That's what I'm hoping for" Kazuma whispered quietly.
Kyouya drew his Wyvern Buster, the sword that cuts and kills anything. Normally impractical except that his Time-Stop lets him charge it while his foe is powerless to do anything. Unbelievably Amitiel didn't even wear the special Trinity Armour that can survive one shot. Which shows exactly how confident he was.
"TIME…!" began Kyouya, before he found himself face-to-face with Amitiel.
An arrow buzzed in from above, but alas Amitiel skipped it again.
"That was your plan?" he asked. Up in the balcony, Kazuma yelped. He told Kyouya that rather than charging in, to wait for him and he would launch a sneak attack right after the Time-Skip occurred.
"You tried to catch me off guard but my ability replenishes so quickly that even after skipping five seconds over his stopped time I only have to wait an instant to use it again"
"How did you know I was going to attack? I was hidden!"
"I assumed you'd launch an attack right after I emerged from the time skip, so I skipped a second time as soon as I got the chance and checked my surroundings for incoming sneak-attacks"
"Shit" Kazuma said, "That's clever"
"I was just in time to catch your arrow in mid-air whiz right through me"
"STEAL!"
"Nice try" said Amitiel. He glared back at Kazuma, his arm outstretched and took a step forward. Surprisingly, he ended up one step in front of where he was before.
"Wait" he said, looking down, "That isn't what's supposed to happen"
He looked up at Kazuma, who was holding a purple crystal in his hand. He had a nervous smile on his face and he was sweating, especially as he gazed past the crystal he held and saw the confused face of Amitiel behind it.
"So I guess you don't wear any underwear" Kazuma said in revelation.
"MY TIME CRYSTAL! Give it back!"
Amazingly, Kazuma used Steal, and somehow managed to take Amitiel's crystal, thus gaining his Time-Skip powers for himself.
Raphael launched an attack. "How does this thing work?" Kazuma asked. With just his will, he noticed that the area around him seemed dim and grey. A bolt of lightning came for Kazuma's sword, but he wasn't hurt.
"I'm doing it!" he smiled, "The attacks aren't affecting me. I just hope I don't accidentally resume time while I'm getting obliterated"
He gently removed his sword from its belt-loop and the arc of electricity followed it, leaving him alone as he tossed it away. He then casually walked away from the torrent of electrical energy.
However he found very quickly, the power had downsides. "Cough, cough, ack!" I can't breathe! There's no oxygen, everybody's frozen and standing still except me, which means I'm the only one who still needs to breathe, but the air isn't moving around. I'm quickly getting stuck in a vacuum. Worse than drowning, the air was quickly being sucked out of his lungs. His blood isn't pumping, and his chest is in agony. His lungs are expanding because of the difference in air pressure inside and outside and his heart isn't beating. All of these are side effects of skipping time? The human body, especially an Earth-born organism, doesn't know how to react to skipped time. It's maybe the single most alien experience any human could go through.
Kazuma willed himself to resume time, giving himself enough space to survive but in a bad condition. Trying to breathe or move muscles hurt, lactic acid burning up and bubbles forming in his veins. The shock of transitioning back to reality so suddenly didn't translate into the great relief he hoped it would be. He removed a mighty weight from his shoulders to replace it with a similar weight. Amitiel observed Kazuma's obvious and perilous distress. It appeared to observers that in an instant he had ran a marathon around the whole circumference of the planet.
"Ha! So now you see the side-effects of my Time-Skip! If you try to avoid an attack for any longer than ten or twenty seconds, you'll likely be permanently injured. Just a few minutes and it'll kill you. I'm a demon, so I can last a bit longer. I can get used to the pain"
"I'll go in for another attack!" said Raphael, deciding to attack with his liquid metal. He split it into infinitesimally small parts, all shaped like tiny needles. Tens of thousands if not millions of deadly shards each as sharp as scalpels with blades as thin as a few atoms. Not only would each penetrate fully through a human body, but packed tightly enough together they would rip the flesh off a person like a cheese grater, split someone into cubes like a wire mesh, and mash them into bloody pulp as thought tenderized under a bed of nails.
"Skip as much time as you like, young Kazuma" Raphael gloated, "But it will do you no good when the entire room will kill you. Every conceivable exit blocked by a floating wall of spikes that will split arteries and burst blood vessels with even the slightest touch and not a gap small enough for you to fit through…"
"Purification!" came the voice of Aqua.
"What?!" Raphael screamed as his invincible wall of death became quite vincible in the form of a fine mist which then became a drizzly rain that gently floated down and accumulated on the floor as a damp puddle.
Kazuma couldn't help but burst out laughing as Aqua had turned his malleable and versatile and infinitely dangerous liquid metal into plain water that he couldn't do a single thing with.
"Uh oh" said Amitiel, in a rather understated display of subdued panic.
"Uh oh, is right" Megumin said, reaching out with one arm she held her sceptre from underneath Darkness' body where she had been buried. That line wasn't as cool as it sounded in my head, she thought. "Explosion!"
"Ahhh!" Amitiel screamed as he was blown across the room along with Raphael, landing in the same spot in an identically disjointed heap as Gabriel shortly before them.
Almost all the main Archangels had been taken care of. But the feeling of dread loomed over the remaining adventurers. How can you possibly feel so safe? A victory this early is too suspicious.
"Uriel!" screamed Amitiel pitifully, "The rabbit is almost certainly on the premises, are you ready yet?!"
A voice came from a little familiar floating just over Amitiel's shoulder, which seemingly allowed for conversation between them. A medieval-style-fantasy-world equivalent of a walkie-talkie.
"Yes, boss. Don't worry, the battle is already over" replied the eerily calm intonations of Uriel. An attentive listener could hear he was smiling, in excitement for what was about to happen.
"You've finished?" Amitiel asked.
"Yes, the castle was big, but I've drawn a rune around the whole thing. Because there are so many people inside it, I will only be able to drain a little energy from each person. A rabbit will however possess very little mana, so when my spell is unleashed, it will be too weak to survive"
Megumin had used a slightly smaller explosion spell than her full-power one to take out the angels, given they were cramped in a small room with allies in close proximity, but when she tried to launch a second barrage to wipe out the two on the floor once and for all she suddenly found herself too weak. Like a gravitational force had sucked her down to the floor. Her sceptre became impossibly heavy, or she became too weak to even hold it up. Even Darkness screamed, waking herself up. But it wasn't a pleasurable scream.
"I'm so sick of fighting this guy" she sobbed, "It's not fun at all"
A powerful shockwave rattled every shutter, swung every chandelier and jostled every painting and mirror, shifted every chair, rocked every table, blew open each cabinet and hobbled every person. Kazuma, Aqua, Megumin, Darkness, Yunyun and everyone else all took a hit of damage. But nobody was especially hurt.
"Is that all?" Aqua asked.
"No, I think what's coming next is going to be much worse" Kazuma whispered cautiously, "Aqua, I have a bad feeling, get over here and stay behind me"
He motioned over to her to come to him, she was on the other side of the room, but she was still like a hunter stalking its prey. Biding her time like she was sure that in a few seconds she would find out what was about to go down.
"Aqua, get over here!" Kazuma began to shout, but he was interrupted by a deep growling. A blood-curdling gargle, he could hear that the creature making the noise had saliva dripping from its jaws, and a long snake-like tongue. He could only imagine it had sharp teeth, and a piercing gaze. He was curious to see what hellish monster was lurking outside the castle, but he didn't want to find out. It was noon, but the sky had gone dark. A dark, purple cloud had overcast the sky above them and blocked out the sun. A cold wind was blowing in through the open door, and the horrible clanging of footsteps clad in armour was picking up volume with each step. Kazuma heard a faint rumbling.
"We're going to stop Abaddon now" said Aqua, "We're on a roll, you have to admit, it's now or never!"
"Aqua, are you stupid?!" he called across to her, "We're all injured. Megumin can't cast explosion at least until tomorrow, Darkness is too weak. I'm too weak, you're too weak. We have no option but to escape, we don't' have to fight him anymore!"
"Yes, we do!" she begged uncharacteristically.
"Our only job was to protect the rabbit and we failed, there's nothing we can do to stop their rampage, we can only get out of the way of it. I thought you wanted to stay here with me now, do you really want to risk all of this to still fight the Demon King?"
"I want to be here with you!" she wailed, now crying, "But I don't have an option!"
"Aqua" said Kazuma, gravely this time, "Is there something you aren't telling me? Why do you want to stop him so badly?"
Aqua's job as a Goddess was to help people pass on. They had the option to reincarnate into their own world, but given the state of the human world and the likelihood they'd be reborn poor, or as a lonely, affection-starved NEET wasn't typically appealing. Heaven was an endless nightmare, where you existed only as a spiritual being with no body, infinite emptiness, with no carnal pleasures to speak of. Aqua always felt compelled to tell people that in this realm they couldn't even have sex. Some more puritanical goddesses liked this aspect, but Aqua couldn't bring herself to trick someone into giving that up.
A third option was introduced, to help worlds going through such abject pain and misery that the influx of souls coming in was expanding the workload of the goddesses to breaking point and they were being stretched thin. This option was to recruit people from one world to help fight evil in another. Due to popularity of stories in Japan depicting exactly this kind of adventure, Japanese teenagers were usually familiar with the basic premise and were already caught up with what was expected from them as soon as they were given the option.
Due to her bosses being overworked dealing with the thousands of daily casualties of the Demon King's army, Aqua was under immense stress and pressure to meet daily quotas of volunteers to stop the Demon King and stem the flow of corpses into the Purgatory. She had sent Kazuma, but also Kyouya Mitsurugi and many others. Most goddesses would visually assess a candidate's viability for combat. If the volunteer was overconfident and liable to die in a few days, they'd have to pass on all over again, so a goddess in a hurry would quickly just reincarnate a soul back to their home world.
"You also have the option to liberate another world from a tyrannical Demon King but you'll probably just end up dead again anyway so you'll probably just want to go back to your own world where it's safe" is something they might say. Gloss over it and make it unappealing. If a person looked like they might be strong, or were already aware of the Isekai genre and didn't need to be recapped, a goddess like Aqua would try and entice them in with false hope of heroism, when in reality the probable outcome was for them to meet a swift and bloody end.
It was common for goddesses to fail to reach a quota if by chance all their candidates were Sword-Fodder, meaning they looked gaunt or unhealthy or were overweight and highly likely to simply lose their head to a Demon Soldier. But Aqua was already in trouble for fudging her numbers before to hit her quota. She'd be in severe trouble if she did it again, but she had no choice to meet her deadlines so she did, although thankfully she avoided a formal reprimand by lying.
If her superiors looked hard enough, they'd realise she lied, and she'd be sent to the Demon World herself. As long as they didn't look, she'd be safe. As long as she didn't piss them off, they would likely never look hard enough to find out she lied. She had to hit her quota, or else, and she couldn't fake it another time and get away.
She was a quiet girl, physically diminutive and shy, innocent in disposition and possibly suffering some kind of trauma, maybe childhood abuse or something. A nervous wreck, she trembled when Aqua saw her. But she was the last client of the day, and Aqua was one away from her quota.
"There's something about you" Aqua told her, "It's a divine power I have" she lied, "I can see that you have a quality, there's no word for it, but it makes you special. You, more than anyone else, can defeat the Demon King"
"Really?" the meek girl asked with an almost naïvely hesitant optimism, surely it can't be true, she thought, but it MUST be! She coughed due to her varied illnesses that caused her to visit the hospital or doctor's office fortnightly and miss school around one day a week.
"Of course" Aqua smiled through her teeth, "But you have to believe in yourself. If you do that, you can achieve anything"
Aqua hit her quota and regained their trust. There was no investigation. She was safe, but she deluded herself into thinking that, maybe, there was nothing to worry about. The young girl was safe. She wasn't preteen or anything, she was legally an adult, she was 18 even though she only had to be 16 to qualify, otherwise they'd never let Aqua give her reincarnate her. But she looked 14, and significantly weaker than an average preteen.
Aqua went to sleep thinking that perhaps, triumph comes from the unlikeliest places. Maybe Aqua had found the Demon World's saviour, and she'd be promoted to some kind of Head Goddess, an Overlord of some kind.
They observed the performance of the candidates goddesses had reincarnated. It was expected they'd all die, but comparatively, Aqua's volunteers surprisingly had a better track record than most other goddesses, and tended to last longer, reach higher levels, form larger guilds, and kill more Demon Soldiers, than the average Sword-Fodder.
Then there was Yamata, the little girl Aqua sent to her death. Of course she wouldn't win. She formed a guild of other cute, young-looking-for-their-age magical girl types and charged with misplaced confidence to liberate a small village from Abaddon's troops.
Each one her friends was mutilated until they resembled only what you would see hanging in a butcher's shop. That was an image Aqua would never unsee. Rotting carrion hanging from chains dripping blood, eyes dangling from optic nerves, skin draped like curtains over the victims, piles of organs swarmed with flies, misshape chunks of meat with teeth still attached. Yamata took her sword and slit her own throat at the sight. Aqua saw her lying in a lake of her own blood, pints of it painted over every surface in the house. Curled in the fetal positon trying to hide her tears, her last visions being of the mutilated corpses of her friends as the tears welled up in her eyes until the image was too blurry to see and screams of women and children outside meeting the same fate, a lullaby of bones breaking and flesh tearing and blood spilling and organs bursting open. Aqua's superior told her that in her years in the Divine Realm, it was rare to see a Goddess cry. Aqua didn't stop crying until another sixteen hours later.
"I cried for a full day without stopping" she told Kazuma, "I never saw Yamata again, she must have chosen not to reincarnate. Usually even suicide victims want a second chance at a better life. I'll never get a chance to ask for forgiveness. She can't be happy again"
"Aqua" Kazuma began, pausing as he wasn't sure at what to say, "I understand you're feeling intense guilt over this, but I don't want to die fighting this guy, and I don't want you to die either. Are you hoping he'll kill you so you don't have to live with it anymore?"
"I don't want to die either, Kazuma!" she screamed
They both stopped talking. Aqua had gotten her wish it seemed, and delayed their escape just enough that Abaddon had caught up.
He stood before them, his tall frame and jagged armour.
"I don't believe it" he said softly, his voice still menacing at least as it was muffled and sounded mechanical through the grate of his helmet. "Now that I have regained my powers I have no use for you. I don't even have to kill you lot. But I just had to see before I go what had been giving the Demon King's best soldiers such as hard time"
"Aqua!" Kazuma screamed, "Now's the time, we have to escape now"
In the interim time Aqua recounted her story, while Abaddon completed his march upon the castle, everyone had left. Kyouya carried Megumin and Darkness to safety while Yunyun took Chomsuke and left with Wiz following her and any remaining guildmates and knights Kyouya still had in the castle.
"Why are you still here, then?" Aqua shouted back
"I'm not leaving without you!" Kazuma yelled, "That should be obvious!"
"But the last person I expected to see here" Abaddon interrupted, "Was my old friend. I have to say I'm grateful for everything you've done"
"Who are you?" they both asked in unison.
"One of you should know. My real name is Nagato Yamikage, but the goddess might better know me by my face. After all, she said I was one of her first"
Long, slender cheekbones, narrow, delicate eyes, soft features and flowing, silk-like hair. Aqua would recognise him anywhere.
"Because" he said, "You sent me here"
"Nagato" Aqua whispered, "It can't be. I sent you here to kill the Demon King! You joined him?!"
"Kill him?" he laughed, "How was I supposed to do that? My mission in this life is to stop the butchers and barbarians of the resistance army who threaten the order and rightful, just rule of the Demon King. A vitally important position you gave me"
"I really did kill her" a saddened Aqua wept, "She died to a monster that I created." She lifted her hung head and looked Abaddon in the eyes, pointing she screamed, "You killed Yamata, she killed herself but it was your fault, THE BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS!"
Abaddon looked offended, "I don't remember who you're talking about but I've never killed a single person who didn't deserve it"
"You're a monster!" she wept, charging straight at him.
"Damnit Aqua" Kazuma shouted, running after her, "This is the dumbest thing you've done!"
Abaddon shook his head in disappointment, he scoffed "Yet another who sees me as an enemy. How typical"
Everything went grey. Kazuma ran, feeling the oxygen rush out of his lungs the faster he tried to go, his muscles seize the more he tried to move them. He put an arm around Aqua's waist and tried to drag her away. His arms felt weak, Aqua felt impossibly heavy. He had to counteract the momentum she had running towards Abaddon. Kazuma knew they weren't a threat and he'd likely not follow them but he wouldn't feel safe until they were out the room.
The room was big, so Kazuma would have to run, while carrying Aqua, burning energy and expending oxygen, while time functionally stood still. The veins on his forehead started to pop out and his began to bulge.
"Shit. Stupid Aqua, why does she have to put herself in danger? If she's so useless then why can't she stay somewhere safe?" he ranted to himself while time was still being skipped and erased. But then he started to think about it, "I suppose I'd rather die trying to save her than let her get killed. Maybe she just thinks the same way"
Once they got out the room he resumed time again. Abaddon would be too preoccupied trying to get his unconscious friends out the building. Once they were out of his line of sight he wouldn't know where they were and wouldn't be bothered to look for them.
A short while later, Kazuma threw Aqua down onto a pile of hay about a mile from the castle where an exhausted Megumin and Darkness were hiding. Despite her best struggles he had managed to carry her, waving arms and kicking legs and screaming and all, on his shoulder as far as he could.
"Oh, you found us" Megumin said casually, holding Chomsuke, and calmly eating a loaf of bread.
"I'm sorry" she said
"I don't care as long as you're safe" he said, before grabbing her cheeks and pulling them as hard as he could. "You idiot! What are you doing? You big dummy, you're going to get yourself killed and I won't let you!"
"God, I wish that were me" Darkness whispered to herself.
"Kazumaaaa!" she whined as she managed to pry her cheeks from his grasp. Kazuma waited for her to finish nursing her painful face, his arms folded like a pissed off parents, although he wanted to think of it more like a bitchy wife.
"Aqua" he said, his voice softened a little more to sound sympathetic, "You can't change the past. You can't bring Yamata back, you can't undo what's been done"
"I want to stop their being someone else like her. I caused Abaddon so I can't let him kill any more!"
"You didn't cause anything, you've done nothing wrong!" Kazuma argued, "Don't beat yourself up over it, forget about it"
"How can I forget when it's still getting people killed?"
"…"
"Maybe the only thing I can do is stop people dying because of me. I have to kill him"
She looked up through tear-filled eyes, worried about what Kazuma would think. But to her surprise he looked very non-judgemental.
"So you're going to fight him without me?" he asked, "Well, in that case I guess I'll just have to help you then"
"Really?" she said, drying her eyes.
"But you have to come with me. At least then I know where you are, you might be safer where I can see you. Otherwise you'll just wander off like an unsupervised child. Last time I left you alone I came back and the mansion was gone"
"She once had an argument with me about whether to put the cereal or milk first" said Darkness, "That was so heated she forgot to put the bowl and poured milk over the countertop"
"She once told me we had to go back to the house because she forgot to put underwear on" Megumin said
"See?" Kazuma said, "It wouldn't be very responsible to leave you alone. Guess we better go fight the Demon King together"
Aqua got up onto her feet, pumped up like she had just warmed up for the big game.
"From the sounds of things" Kazuma said finally, "You're not too excited about your goddess duties sending people to fight the demon king, so when we finally beat him, how about you stay here instead? With me"
"Sounds like a deal" Aqua smiled.
Dark black clouds and orange sky like it was on fire, loomed over the Citadel. Victorian street lamps and Gotham-esque towers of girders, analogue clock towers and the thick fog of industry. Oil derricks and cooling towers, rundown apartment blocks and crumbling town halls. In the dining room of the Dark Cathedral at the summit of the settlement, was where the Archangels could be found.
"Emmanuel" asked Raphael, "Now that Amitiel has lost his powers, what's happening to him? Come to think I haven't seen him recently"
Abaddon was rising from the table, preparing to take his plate through to their staff. Abaddon's eyes narrowed at the question he was asked. "Who's Amitiel?"
Raphael was about to reply but Azrael gently touched him on the arm. He looked at him knowingly and Raphael stayed quiet. Once Abaddon had left, he said quietly "He killed him, then"
"He must have outlived his purpose" Azrael conjectured.
Abaddon returned to the room. "Oh, Raphael, I didn't know you were in here. I haven't seen you at all today"
"Of course not, sir" he replied respectfully, "Just preparing for Aqua's guild to return"
"Yes" he laughed, returning to being serious for a moment, "We can be sure they will wish to defeat us. But I am not worried" he laughed again.
