We're finally there. The ending is good, I promise.

I told the story this way with a main antagonist because I liked the contrast between Kazuma being someone who was sad and lonely and is influenced by bad things that happened to him like isolation and rejection (but not overly angsty) while Aqua is motivated by bad things she inflicted on others; also the contrast between a protagonist learning to accept and overcome feelings of guilt while the antagonist demonstrates what it would be like to be incapable of guilt entirely.

This worked in the story because it meant Kazuma and Aqua's relationship was defined by both being unsure if they could make the other as happy as they wanted to, in other words both being insecure about the same thing which makes it clear there was nothing to worry about.

Each Archangel had a defined ability and a clear weakness but the steps it took for the protagonists to figure out the abilities and what the weaknesses were was a long, arduous writing experience.

If you made it this far, thank you. Who am I even writing this for anymore? I have to finish what I started. The story got so far away from me I wasn't sure to even publish what was only supposed to be a shipping fic but I didn't put nearly 18 hours into this for no reason so I had no choice but to publish it.

I don't care if your review is positive or not, just please let me know if you read it all the way to the end or not. I'll be interested to see how many actually make it all the way through.

Chapter 5: Paradiso (Final Chapter)

It was as they entered the grand front entrance of the Cathedral that they knew they had reached the end. They were in a vast, spacious room. Impossibly high ceilings, sharp, angular corners and sparse of furniture. Walls so far away that was forming that made the room seem boundless. Just behind the mist you could see pillars holding up the ceiling and occasional ornamentation hanging from the walls. The floor consisted only of an endless chessboard of black and white tiles so endless they were mere pixels of on the horizon where they faded into grey. A long red carpet began wide enough for the whole party to stand but tapered off into the distance into an infinitesimal point.

Only Abaddon remained. Or at least, so they thought until they came across a figure in a long black cloak looking like Death. He stood before a shrine depicting the Demon King but once he noticed the adventurers approaching him he moved to seat himself on a large throne.

"Who are…?" Kazuma began

"Azrael" said Yunyun grimly. The user of Contract Magic.

"What's to stop us killing him right here?" asked Aqua

"I already made a deal with a young fellow from the King's army. It was foolish of him to make deals with a demon but that's not my fault. In exchange for a promotion to Brigadier General he offered to take any damage that I would take as long as it doesn't kill him. Any attempt to strike me down would only hurt an innocent man"

"We can't touch him" Aqua despaired

"I can live with that" Kazuma said, taking a notably different approach from the already guilt-stricken goddess, "Yunyun, light him up"

"You think I only have one person protecting me?" he asked, "Many innocents would have to be irreparably inured and mutilated before I would ever suffer even a scratch. I've been doing this for over 100 years!"

"What's stopping us from just ignoring him?" asked Darkness, now mobile again thanks to Aqua's healing powers.

"Because" Abaddon said, making his appearance within the throne room, "I cannot be hurt until Azrael is dead. That was our agreement. I have the same level of protection that he has, meaning I am functionally invincible"

"Nothing is ever easy, is it?" Kazuma griped, "We never catch a break in this place"

"I will rid this realm of enemies to the throne" Abaddon began, "Devil Invocation!"

A portal of swirling energy opened in front of them, they had assumed Abaddon would not summon a creature within a tight indoor area like the Cathedral, but a building can be rebuilt, and neither of them can be harmed by whatever comes out. Or perhaps, he has already forgotten that his crystal is capable of summoning anything so grotesque.

"A bunny rabbit again?" Abaddon wailed.

It ran over to Megumin and jumped into her arms. "I seems to recognise me. I guess when it died it returned to that realm and now it's just been reincarnated back"

"I told you" Kazuma said, "It's my luck stat!"

Azrael seemed totally unfazed. Abaddon attempted a step forward but was intimidated by Megumin's explosion magic as well as Yunyun's flame magic. Without his invocation he was still strong but a fight here would be risky. Azrael on the other hand clearly had a plan to get them out of this mess.

"How about, I make a deal with you all" Azrael said, "I will give you anything you want within my power, and in exchange, none of you here can harm me"

"That's a terrible idea" Megumin said

"I agree" said Darkness

"Sounds good to me, let's do it" said Kazuma

"What?" screamed Aqua, "Are you insane?"

"A little" Kazuma conceded.

"Excellent" Azrael rejoiced, stepping down off his throne.

He approached the pack and presented a written contract he had materialised. Kazuma inspected and, sure enough, what was written was a direct transcript of what had been said. The terms were that Azrael would be immune from harm from them, and in exchange, Kazuma had a blank space to write his terms. If they were of equal value, or Kazuma agreed to accept a reward of less value that Azrael's condition, the contract would give both parties an opportunity to sign it or amend it further to their pleasing.

For ease of use, Azrael magically split the contract into two pages with the conditions of both parties separated between the two sides.

"Anything your heart desires" Azrael said temptingly, "The contract will decide if you request is within the ability of the magic to provide and will erase it if it is not. So why not adventure and see what range of rewards I can provide you"

"Why not just write that we can't be harmed by him?" Yunyun asked

"Two reasons" said Kazuma, "The first is that he would not agree to this" he continued, and Azrael nodded smugly. "Secondly, I promised Aqua we would defeat Abaddon and then the Demon King himself"

"But then how can you agree to sign a contract that forbids him being harmed"

"Signing one of his contracts is pretty much the only way to beat him"

On his side Kazuma wrote "a billion Eris" and then below it in tiny letters, "and to be strong enough to kill Azrael."

Azrael took his quill and struck a line through the text, causing it to disappear from the page.

Azrael gave a bored look, "That was your brilliant plan?" he asked in disbelief. "You just thought that in the thousands of contracts I've formed over a century I just wouldn't think to look for fine print?"

"Worth a shot"

Kazuma looked at the bottom of the contract. "If one party is not able to fulfil the conditions they have agreed to which are within their powers to do so, they will be banished from existence".

"I see you looking at that" Azrael said, "But I know my contracts inside and out, there's no chance in hell you'll trick me into agreeing to conditions I will not meet. If I can't fulfil my end, the contract will render the condition null automatically. If I can but wish not to, I will decline personally. I cannot force you to sign, but from the looks of things, you don't have a choice"

"This is too dangerous" said Megumin, "we should just leave and figure out a way to kill them another day"

"It's ok, Kazuma" said Aqua, "If we can't figure out a way to beat them, then maybe I will just have to accept defeat"

"What are you saying?" he asked in worry.

"If the Demon King or Abaddon can't be killed by us, I don't know, maybe some other hero will do it someday. You were right, I'm going to get us killed, it's best just to live our lives elsewhere. If I defeat him, I get to return to the Divine Realm. But I 've decided I want to stay here with you forever"

"Aqua" he whispered softly, pleading, "Don't give up on your dreams just for me. Are you really sure you want to abandon this whole attempt, after everything you went through are you okay just to go back to normal?"

"Yes, but this time I'm choosing our normal boring life" she smiled.

Kazuma turned back to Azrael, "In that case!" he began, "If we're not trying to kill you anymore, then I should at least get something out of this"

Kazuma swiftly wrote, "One trillion Eris"

"That much Eris would severely reduce the value of the Eris across the kingdom" said Azrael, sounding a little cagey, "But if it gets you to sign then I'll allow it"

"At least we'll get some money out of it"

"And I'll pledge the soul of Darkness!" Kazuma went on

"Thank you!" Azrael excitedly replied, fists clenched in joy.

"What? My soul?!" Darkness screamed, "Kazuma you really are scum!" Darkness blushed, "tell me I'm worthless, Kazuma"

"In exchange" Azrael said, "I'll give you anything you want! Pick something, treat yourself; bend the laws of reality to your liking for all I care!"

Kazuma thought for a few seconds, about what in his life he really wanted – besides a trillion Eris – could Azrael even return him to his own realm?

"Can you send Aqua to the Divine Realm? Like she wants?"

"Absolutely!" he said, "If she agrees"

"Kazuma" she said, "Don't do that, unless you want to come with me. I won't go back without you"

Kazuma smiled at her, "Sorry, it doesn't sound like my bag. In that case, I've got a better idea"

Kazuma took the quill and wrote on his side of the page, "Kazuma will become good enough for Aqua".

"Is that it?" Azrael mused, "I'm getting a fantastic deal! Of course, given what I've made of you so far" he went on laughing hysterically, "It will take quite a bit of magic to make you into anything halfway respectable! However my magic is unbeatable, so I should be able to grant that"

The text didn't disappear from the page. It was within his powers sure enough.

"That's right" Kazuma said, "Don't make the woman I want love me against her will. Make me the kind of person she will love"

"Good luck" Megumin coughed.

Kazuma instantly replied, "I HEARD THAT!"

"Luckily for you I will become invincible" Azrael laughed, "Because my magic wears off if I die, so you'd better hope I stick around forever"

Kazuma signed the paper, and Azrael did too.

"It's finished!" he screeched in malevolent elation, "I have finally won! I will become the new Demon King!"

"What?" asked Abaddon.

Suddenly, Abaddon found himself run through with a sword. He was wounded but not yet dying.

"What's going on? Azrael, you can't betray me!" he wheezed in a panic.

"Why not? You said nothing when I made my deal that if Kazuma agreed, none of you could harm me. Or did you not realise I was talking to you as well? The damage I just inflicted upon you should transfer to me, but it can't because nobody in this room can inflict harm upon me!"

"You cunning bastard!" Abaddon gasped. Azrael was exactly what his reputation implied he was, a manipulator of the highest order. A master of finding a loophole.

"I already used the exact same trick on the Demon King, although he doesn't know it yet. With my years of contracts I've already acquired the ability to kill him effortlessly. There will be nothing to stop me ruling over this world and none of you lot can stop me!"

"Quick question" Kazuma asked politely with a hand raised, "Am I not supposed to turn into some tall, drop-dead-gorgeous, muscular dude? What's going on?"

"Give it a minute" Azrael said dismissively, waving his hand, "Now to get back to finishing you off, Abaddon" he continued, raising his hand to thrust his sword one again, "Wait"

Azrael's hand seemed to be fading. Slowly starting from the tips it was working its way down towards his wrist. "What's going on?"

"It won't matter if Kazuma waits a minute" said Aqua, smiling through tears. Kazuma and Azrael and the rest all turned to look at her with a mix of confusion and worry. "Because, Kazuma is already good enough for me"

"What?" Kazuma asked

"WHAT?!" Azrael screamed.

"I love you, Kazuma"

"But he's a NEET who never leaves the house and lazes about all day and never helps with the cooking or cleaning" Darkness said

"So am I" Aqua replied with a smile

"He's rude and arrogant and is unnecessarily mean to people who just try to be nice to him" Megumin said

"So am I"

"He is kind of cute, though" said Yunyun

Aqua flipped a strand of hair proudly behind her ear with a smug grin, "So am I"

"The request was within your powers and you agreed to it" said Kazuma, "But you couldn't fulfil it. So that means you disappear as per the contract!"

"Was that your plan all along?!" he asked in panic

"Not at all" Kazuma admitted, "I had no idea that was going to happen"

"Wait" said Azrael, "I'll make a deal. I will nullify the previous contract, and in exchange I will use a forbidden contract!"

"A what?" asked Aqua

"It lets me cast a spell that I usually cannot cast. It's extremely dangerous so I can only use it one time, but I can expand the usual boundaries of what I would normally do"

"He's dying" said Kazuma, "That means he'll likely agree to pretty much anything. The first thing he offers, take it"

Azrael turned to Aqua, "I know all about you, goddess"

"Pardon?" she replied, now quite fearful.

"I can read your memories. I know all about your time as a goddess. I can fix everything you did, make it all right. But only with this forbidden contract. But you have to agree to it quickly, before I am banished"

"What? How?"

"I will revive Yamata, and you can ask her for forgiveness. That's what all this is about, right? You can atone now finally. Don't worry about Abaddon, I'll deal with him if you save me"

"No thanks" Aqua said, shaking her head.

"Are you being serious?!"

"I've already accepted that I won't get forgiveness. I can't dwell on the past, only fix the mistakes I've made. I don't want to a goddess sending others here to die, I'll defeat the Demon King myself"

"Really?" Azrael asked in horror

"Well, all of these guys will help me. Actually, they'll do pretty much all the heavy lifting. But we will succeed" she said, clenching her fist with determination.

Azrael began vanishing from his torso now, with his complete erasure only a few seconds away. "You MOTHERF…!" he screamed in futility, disappearing from existence forever and ending his reign of inflicting suffering.

"At least Darkness is still here" said Kazuma, "I guess it never took effect because he couldn't fulfil my request… Wait, my trillion Eris! That bitch didn't give me my money!"

"Oh well" said Yunyun nervously laughing, "We could still stay in Kyouya's castle I'm sure"

Abaddon clutched his temples, his face was a look of utter devastation and horror. "What is this? It's like memories are coming back to me, but I don't know what they are. I didn't even know I had missing memories!"

"It must be one of Azrael's contracts" said Yunyun, "and its wearing off now that he's dead. Maybe he made some contract that caused Abaddon to forget something he wanted to forget"

"Did I really kill thousands of people?!" he wailed.

"Uuuuh" said Kazuma, "I don't know how to tell you this but, yeah, pretty much"

Abaddon screamed louder than anyone had heard before. Aqua felt a little bad for him at least, since she suffered much the same way. Although, he had killed far more people, it was basically impossible for him to ever be forgiven.

"I can't live with this" he said, picking up Azrael's sword and directing it to his own throat, clearly intent on finishing the job Azrael had started.

"Don't do it!" Aqua pleaded, "You have so much to live for, I'm sure someone cares for you or something honestly I don't know, life is precious even yours', uh…" she went on, trying to think of more stock responses.

"Do it" said Kazuma, "You could resurrect in a better world, like I did"

"Kazuma, don't say things like that!" Aqua screamed, "That's a terrible message to give people!"

"She's right, actually" Kazuma conceded, "You could resurrect somewhere much worse. If I hadn't met guys like you, who made my new life so fun, I would definitely be regretting getting almost run over by a tractor"

"But if you've killed thousands of people, you should definitely kill yourself" said Megumin dryly, petting the bunny.

"I suppose that's better" Aqua said sheepishly, "Can't imagine that applies to too many people"

Abaddon thrust the sword into his throat, killing himself instantly. It was a comparatively serene and peaceful death compared to his victims, but his suffering had started long ago. The death and destruction caused by the Archangels dwarfed every other battalion in the world combined. The Demon King may still exist but a great horror had finally been eradicated and this was indeed a blessing on this wonderful world.

In that moment, a bright light appeared from above. The heaven's themselves had opened and a window into the Divine Realm appeared before them.

"Wait, are you going back to the Divine Realm already?" Kazuma asked.

"I hope not" Aqua said, "I want to stay here with you"

"Aqua" said a soothing voice with an angelic tremor, "It's the goddess Eris, giving you a message from the Divine Realm"

"Eris?" Aqua yapped in shock, "What on Earth does that bitch want?"

"I want to thank you for sending me all these people I needed to meet my daily quota, I was seriously behind. A whole bunch of these former demons who said you guys all killed them"

"The Archangels?" Kazuma asked, "You better not have sent them back here!"

"No, they wouldn't have their powers any more anyway. They're all going to resurrect back on a world called…" she said, checking her notes, "…Earth. Where they will be resurrected into a warzone until they can defeat a dictator engaging in a genocide"

"What happened on Earth after I died?" Kazuma choked, "Not that it was looking particularly great before, I just didn't think it could get any worse"

Eris sheepishly averted her eyes, tilting her head to the side innocently.

"Wait" Kazuma surmised, "There's something you know that you don't want to tell me"

"You better tell him" Aqua threatened non-threateningly, "Or I'll come up to that Divine Realm and kick your ass!"

"It seems" she began, quietly as if not even wanting Kazuma to hear her, "Your parents happened upon a rather lucrative business deal"

She was sweating and nervously fidgeting. "How lucrative?" Kazuma asked in a chilling monotone.

"Your family are now millionaires and with their new merger, they are on the path to becoming billionaires"

"My family have a mansion and I'm going back to the stables?!" Kazuma cried.

"They then entered an arranged marriage with Miyuki, a girl at your school"

"She's the one you said cheated on you" Aqua noted, remembering his story from before. "The beautiful, popular one. She probably has great boobs as well"

"The agreement as part of their business merger was for her to marry the Satou family's eldest son, which would have been you, but since you died it was your younger brother"

"I could have been married to the prettiest girl in my high school and been filthy rich?" Kazuma cried in anguish, "My death wasn't good at all! Things really would have gotten better!"

"Wow" Megumin dryly observed, "Suicide really isn't the answer after all. Imagine throwing all that away"

"SHUT UP!" he shouted at her.

Kazuma curled up in the fetal position, crying tears of despair into his arms concealing his face. Aqua sat next to him and comforting stroked his shoulder.

"But surely" she began, "I'm sexier than any girl in your high school. I'm utterly divine, after all"

His red and sobbing eyes tentatively emerged to look at her, "I guess you're right" he conceded.

"I guess" she said, smiling sweetly, her cute voice comforting him, "I'll just have to do whatever I can to make this world as good for you as I can. Maybe if I make you happy enough, you won't regret coming here"

Kazuma quickly sat up, his face now looking confused, gears in his head turning as he tried to process his thoughts.

"What's wrong, darling?" Aqua asked

"But wait, I'm the one who's supposed to be trying to make you as happy as possible. That was the whole point of this, because I'm not good enough for you. You're a goddess"

"Oh, I'm not much of anything" she said dismissively, "You're plenty good enough for an idiot like me" she laughed. "Of course, if you want to make me happy I still expect to be spoiled. As you said, I am a goddess, after all"

"Remember when I said I'd build you a castle?" Kazuma recalled wistfully

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, there's no way in hell I'm doing that" he told her bluntly.

"As I expected" she said unsurprised.

"But maybe if we defeat the Demon King, we'll make enough money we can buy one"

"Can we all live in it, too?" asked Megumin, with Darkness and Yunyun nodding in agreement.

"Of course!" Aqua smiled cheerily. She turned to Kazuma, "One thing's for certain, after we beat him, I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here with you"

"Wha…" he began, before she silenced him with a big kiss on the lips. Kazuma wasn't sure why he had a thing for sexy dumbasses, he was certain he wasn't shallow or anything like that. He wasn't impressive, who know how he landed a goddess? Maybe, even boring guys are capable of greatness under the right circumstances. If there wasn't an evil demon army marching across the kingdom, how would he have proved his awesomeness by defeating it? It was happenstance, he mused, if anything had gone even slightly differently, things wouldn't have worked out. He would have been an average NEET, pervert who amounted to nothing, instead of an average NEET, pervert who saved a kingdom.

Maybe it worked out because of his high luck stat. Perhaps it was suitable that Aqua was the pretty dumbass that she was, that she had such a low intelligence stat. After all, he was lucky enough to get her, and she was stupid enough to pick him.