CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
[Impossible]
HARRY
Dumbledore and Snape had left the room leaving them alone. The silence was deafening as he stared down at the empty bottle in his hands, wondering if he'd just made one of the biggest mistakes in his life. He was walking a thin line here. What was he playing at, trading security for knowledge? But no - he wasn't going to be played anymore. He can't turn back now.
Remus sat on the chair in front of him looking rather nervous with the sudden turn of events. He probably hadn't been expecting Harry to agree. Harry could hardly blame him.
"What is your full name?"
"Harry James Potter," the answer comes off his tongue fluidly. He wasn't even thinking about it before it came to him. A spike of fear went through him at the thought he might not have time to try and filter through his responses.
"Do you have any association with You-Know-Who?"
"Yes," Harry says, "The prophecy marking me as his equal. I can see in his mind when he's angry because of the curse scar. He killed-"
"Right, yes." Remus cuts him off quickly not wanting to tread in dangerous waters. "Are you working with Voldemort?"
"No."
"Have you had any connection with him at all other than visions sent to you?"
"No."
Remus takes a small breath of relief.
"I told you I wasn't. You could have just believed me in the first place." There's no avoiding the accusation in his voice. Remus winces at it looking guilty down at him.
"Harry you have to understand that Dumbledore has his reasons-"
"And you're your own person. You don't have to listen to him despite what you think."
Remus sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose. "I'm not having this discussion with you right now."
"Fine then." It's sharp and cruel, signaling Remus to get on with it already so he can get on with his part of the deal.
"Have you experienced any feelings that are unusual of late? Things that you would not usually do?"
The potion makes him want to answer immediately. Harry has to keep his mouth shut so he can think over the answer thoroughly. What did that even mean? Unusual? Harry thinks of Draco and-
"Yes." He has to blink a couple times to realize he'd spoken. Remus is looking at him curiously now and Harry internally curses himself. Oh, bloody hell.
"What would that be?"
Harry's cheeks flush a faint pink. He has to physically bite his tongue to keep himself in check. Oh, this was much much harder than he thought. It takes his entire willpower to keep the answer tame. "Just…. normal teenage things… uhh- ah!" There's a weight on his chest pressing down on his chest the more he tries to resist.
Remus looks rather embarrassed at the implications of Harry's answer but fortunately for the both of them, he skives off the topic. "The more you try to resist the harder it becomes. I should have told you that before."
"You think?" Harry glares. His entire mouth tasted of sandpaper.
Remus continues on with the questions. "Have you experienced blackouts of any kind that does not include any visions?"
That question sparks a flame in Harry. What was that supposed to mean? "No." Then, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"We'll explain after, I promise. Let's just finish the questions for now as you promised."
Harry huffs but sinks back down in the seat. "You already have what you need. You don't need to."
"There's only a few left. I have to ask, just for safety. Make sure nothing slips past."
Harry eyes him wearily. None of the questions so far were worded so would give Draco away. Perhaps he could maneuver his way through his after all.
"Where were you when Katie Bell was attacked on the 12th of October?"
Oh, bollocks. His mind races to come up with a way to dodge it but it comes to no use. He was fucked.
"Willow Avenue, Massif Central, France."
Remus obviously didn't think anything of actual importance would come with the question. He was looking down at his paper writing something down, but when Harry answers his wide eyes are immediately boring into Harry's own. The older man scrambles for words.
His heart begins hammering inside his chest like it belongs to a rabbit running for its skin. They're staring at each other with panic, waiting for the other to say the first word.
"You promised not to ask any questions not related." Harry reminds carefully, not slipping from the eye contact. "You already asked for your questions. You know I wasn't responsible so you don't need to ask anything else."
Remus opens his mouth to ask but stops at Harry's warning. His brows draw together in confusion or frustration - Harry can't tell which.
Harry's throat is clenched painfully. All he can think is for the love of Merlin, please don't ask. He can imagine Draco's face when he tells him he accidentally spilled the secret to Dumbledore of all people. Draco was very demanding of staying out of the war the best he could and he couldn't do that if Dumbledore was poking his nose into affairs that weren't his. He would do something - anything - to try to make Draco a pawn. Harry knew how that felt and he couldn't wish that on anyone, especially Draco with his family on the other side of the board. That was cruel.
Harry closes his eyes and prepares for the blow of the last questions.
"Do you have any idea who is the intruder inside the castle?"
Harry nearly cries with relief. "No."
"How about the activation of the Floo a few days prior?"
"No."
A rustle of papers then; "I think we're finished then."
Remus is still eying him oddly, but he doesn't ask about it. It was as simple as that.
Remus hands him the antidote and Harry hurriedly tosses it back down his throat. There was a warm tingly feeling inside his mouth from the side effects but he hardly notices with the fear eating at his stomach.
"You're not…. going to tell him, are you?"
"Tell him what?" Remus plays dumb.
"Please, Remus…"
"I'm sure he'll be content to know you were safe at least. You were safe, yes?"
"I mean, yes-"
"Then I don't see how that part is anything of his business." He says matter-of-factly.
Harry's staring at him with wide eyes now. He was confused as to how he was able to get off the hook so easily.
"Sirius and I sneaked out once or twice too, you know."
Harry breaks into a coughing fit. "Uh- what?"
Remus smiles. "Nevermind, I just…"
There's a knock at the door. Dumbledore and Snape let themselves back in without so much as a response, but then again, it was the Headmaster's office.
"Finished, I see?" The elderly wizard asks. Remus gives him a short nod that seems to have a double meaning - that Harry was in the clear. Dumbledore gives Harry a merry smile. "Splendid."
"I told you."
Snape sneers. "The mind is a subtle thing. One has no idea of outside influence until on the spot. Of course, you would be the exception, no?"
Harry glares. "What do you mean outside influence?" This had to be what Remus was mentioning with the blackouts and mood shifts.
Dumbledore, now seated back behind his desk, sighs. "Yes, time to hold up our part of the deal. You see Harry, when Voldemort took possession of your body last year…"
Harry felt faintly sick as Dumbledore went on to explain their theory of Voldemort possessing him. Voldemort could hardly stay in his body with the "love" inside it and they explained the possibility of the grief of his godfather could be used as a barrier of sorts to keep them separate. It would explain the attack on Dudley and Ms. Figg, the inn, the curse on his stomach, and everything else that had happened since that summer.
"How does this tie in with Malfoy?" he finally asks. That was the whole reason he did this entire thing in the first place.
"Do you genuinely think this is a good idea?" Snape asks absurdly towards Dumbledore.
"I'd say Harry has been in the dark long enough. He deserves to know what's going on after all this time."
Harry nearly strangles the man with his own words. It was him who put him in the dark in the first place and now he was acting like some kind of hero for giving him what he deserved in the first place.
"You would really have him know at my expense? It's my head on the chopping block here." Snape spits.
Dumbledore's eyes twinkle. "I think it may do us some good, actually. You always have been blind-sighted."
Harry wishes they'd just get to the point already. The more they talked, the nervous tension in him increased.
"Harry," Remus interrupts Snape's complaining. "The situation with Malfoy is a complicated one. If we tell you this, you must remember to be as responsible as you can with it."
Harry nods solemnly. They're all looking at him now.
"We thought it would be a good idea to make you three suspicious of Malfoy so you could keep a closer watch on him this year. As you know, his father's on a pending sentence of Azkaban after the Order handed him over after the Knockturn alley incident-" Harry's chest does a funny squirm at that "-and, well, You-Know-Who now has a price on his son's head."
Harry looks between Snape and Dumbledore and draws his forehead together in an attempt to act surprised. "Why? It was his father who did that stuff, who failed right? Why would he want anything to do with Draco? He didn't do anything."
Remus looks at him curiously and for a second Harry thinks he'd slipped up again.
"Voldemort thinks he knows too much-" Remus looks towards Snape cautiously. "You know the death eaters headquarters is Malfoy Manor already." Harry nods. Of course he did, most of his visions took place there. He didn't like to think about it much seeing Draco lived with them all. "...this summer You-Know-Who was furious with the events at the Department of Mysteries. He's trying to get to Dumbledore. He needed a spy. Someone who had access inside Hogwarts."
Finally something tangible. He looks to Snape and his eyes go wide.
"Not me, imbecile."
"But you thought I was the spy."
"Correct."
"But why…"
Snape rolls his eyes. "For Mercy's sake-"
"We did. My apologies for that by the way." Dumbledore says, "Excuse the confusion, but what we're trying to say is that young Malfoy was the spy. Past tense."
Harry's head slowly starts to spin. That wasn't possible- Draco hated them. He would never help Voldemort. The thought made his stomach revolt. Harry's expression seems to speak for itself because Snape cuts through his sore mind without a care.
"Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?" Snape asks sharply. "No, you're clearly too dimwitted. I ask you would I, in the ranks of the Dark Lord, need to ask three children about whether or not someone is joined with me?"
Harry turns to the Headmaster, but too slowly to be normal. When he speaks his voice trails slowly like his words are unwilling to take flight. There's a large boulder settling in his stomach. He thinks he knows the answer but his movements are automatic."What are you saying?"
"It seems young Malfoy was set to follow down his parents' footsteps. Voldemort had him initiated to follow his plan on my life. Draco was to take the mission on the 25th of August, but shortly before he suddenly disappeared from his home altogether. No one had seen him until the attack at the inn where Lucius Malfoy was taken into custody and now, here at Hogwarts."
Harry feels like he's going to be sick. Surely this had to be more lies? Draco would have told him. He would know if Draco was a death eater and he wasn't. Draco would die before taking that mark. He saw the way he fought against them at the inn, against his own father, so why would he?
But… he looks at Dumbledore and Remus and he knows they're telling the truth. Never before had he noticed how time is so much like water as they watch him; that it can pass slowly, a drop at a time, even freeze, or rush by in a blink. His mind takes a minute to catch up with the shock all the while his insides felt as if there was nothing there, nothing to need feeding, nothing to need anything at all. Only a gaping hole to be festered on.
"So we were right? He's one of them now?" He asked warily, voice low.
Snape snorts. "Does it make you happy, to know a young man's future has been destroyed? Planning some way to taunt him-?"
Harry snaps his head to the professor and glares hard enough to stab a hole through his non-existent soul. "Shut up. You're the one taunting me this entire time and not the other way around. Why are you even here in the first place?"
Snape's face tightens. "Show some respect."
"Fucki-"
"Professor Snape is here because young Malfoy's health involves him."
Harry's chest is heaving. He doesn't know if he wants to run or scream. All he can picture is Draco bowing before Voldemort and pledging his loyalty, causing his blood to boil. But he did this for answers and he was going to get them.
"So what? What was the point in this elaborate scheme, getting us to do your spying when you know he was innocent? Especially if you thought I was being possessed."
Dumbledore hums, ignoring the accusation in Harry's words. "That, I am afraid, isn't my secret to meddle into."
Harry stares at him, flabbergasted. "It's never stopped you before. You promised me answers."
"And I did." Dumbledore laces his fingers together as he watches Harry from above his half-moon spectacles.
Harry is speechless. Remus is giving him the lecturing look again telling him to stand down.
He should have expected it of course. They would never actually give him the full answers. How could he be so fucking stupid?
"No. That's how this works. Why did you make us suspicious of Malfoy? What were you getting out of it? There had to be something."
They don't respond.
Without a word, Harry's on his feet and pushing past Remus furiously to the door. Something inside Harry was bubbling heatedly ready to explode. He couldn't place the name of the feeling if he tried. It was fear that what they said was right - that Draco had given himself to Voldemort and everything they had was some elaborate pull to get to him. It was anger at Dumbledore, and himself, for getting played again. Remus just sitting there content to see Harry fall into another trap. Snape's smirk. The terrifying feeling of being at someone else will and having no choice in it. Worst of all it was the dread that even if he found Draco was a death eater, he couldn't bring himself to hate him.
He stormed out into the corridor and practically threw himself down the stairs. His feet knew where he was going before he did. The air grew colder and darker as if sensing his mood as he stormed all the way down to the dungeons. Portraits called after him as he passed but he ignored them all in favor of the blood roaring in his ears.
Thank Merlin that no one else was staying in Slytherin for the break because Harry didn't have time to go up and get his cloak. He stormed through the clear expanse of wall and into the dreary common room.
What would he even say to him when he saw him? Is it true you've pledged your allegiance to the person who killed my parents? Have you been manipulating me this entire time just as you said Dumbledore has? They're onto you by the way and you should run while you still can.
Did he want to strangle or kiss him? He'll find out soon enough.
He flew up the steps to the few steps into the dorm Draco had pulled him into the day after Hogsmede. It seems like that was months ago now. The kiss, the snowball fight, his smile- it can't have all been fake, he thinks desperately. He can hardly breathe with the emotions breaking through the floodgate demanding to be felt.
The door is wide open. It doesn't immediately strike Harry as odd, he's too caught up in his own mind to notice such a tiny detail. Suddenly he stops. The previous rampaging Harry is frozen to his spot with wide eyes.
The room is destroyed. Papers are thrown over the floor in what looks to be a massacre. The couch and desks are overturned; one thrown on top of Draco's splintered bed. The chandelier has been shattered, leaving thousands of small pieces of glass scattered. The only light is coming from the murky depths of the Great Lake.
Harry's mouth goes dryer than a sandbox in summer. His rage is forgotten and just as quickly turns into a subdued dread. His hands are shaking slightly as he pulls out his wand from his back pocket and takes a step further into the room.
"Draco?" He calls out, a hand gripped firmly on his wand held in front of him. The silence is deafening. He looks down noticing the robes Draco had on earlier under his feet.
The air has all once turned so brittle it could snap. He can feel the fear in his chest waiting to take over but he refuses.
He casts a quick detection spell over the room coming up empty. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that the occupations of the room had long fled. Nonetheless, Harry calls out again, desperate. Harry felt the panic begin like a cluster of spark plugs in his abdomen. His breathing became more rapid, more shallow as eyes scanned the room again and the panic grew.
"Draco!"
In seconds he threw himself around the room trying to find the non-existent boy. Under the bed, the wardrobe shelves, the bathroom cupboards, anything. But he was gone.
DRACO
He was in a bed; he knew that much to be sure. He didn't know how he got there, only the thick duvet covering him was starting to make him sweat.
Slowly, his eyes flickered open. Bright light stabbed into his skull causing him to wince and a hand flew up to cover his vision. The second thing he noticed was how much he hurt. An unbearable throb was coming from his chest and head. It hurt to breathe let alone to move.
All at once the past few hours came rushing back to him. His heart dropped to his stomach as he threw himself upwards, forgetting all about his injuries.
Draco's eyes went comically wide as he took in the setting. He had to be dreaming because there was no possible way this was real.
He was in his bedroom. More importantly, at Malfoy Manor. Draco thinks his heart might explode with the sudden bang of fear that ignites inside of him. His mind goes completely blank as if it's been rewritten completely.
Everything was exactly how he left it. The robes carelessly tossed across the chair in the corner of the room and the neatly stacked bags of owl treats near the bird perch. His long-forgotten summer homework was tied up and in ribbons on his desk. Oh, it's a terrifying yet welcoming site. One might think that the past few months were just a dream he'd made up to pass the time, but no. Looking down at his body, naked all except his pants, he can see the damage from a fight. Bile rises in his throat.
He pulls himself towards it with relief. He's about to smile when a cool feeling of wood presses against his neck.
"Move and I'll be more than your pretty, little neck on the line for being your daddy's plaything."
Draco feels sick. Angrily, he pushes the palms of his hands into his eyes until he sees stars. He should have known. He should have known. The slimy cockroach Bhagat.
"Perhaps. You wouldn't know. I suppose we'll have to wait until the holidays break to see."
He practically gave Draco a warning this would happen that day in the library! He's going to tear the throat from his body when he sees that bulbous flesh lump again-
Deep breath, he reminds himself. He takes his shaky hands away from his eyes and winces as the bandage on his chest shifts. He didn't know why they'd bothered to fix him up if he was going to die and there was no doubt about it. Yatin had brought him here for the sole purpose of throwing him before the Dark Lord's feet to be killed for his betrayal.
Certain death doesn't make breathing any easier. His body ignores him and his breathing becomes labored. Adrenaline floods his system like it's on an intravenous drip - right into his blood at full pelt. He thinks his heart might as well explode while his eyes are wide, letting in every ounce of window fading light. Consciously he realizes he should be doing something smart, such as finding his wand or a way out while he still has the chance but his body is in too much of a shock to do much of anything. He was going to die. He was going to die in the home he swore he was never going to come back to.
It takes a minute but finally Draco throws the blankets off of him and climbs off the bed. His legs almost buckle underneath his weight. There's long, thick cuts across both of them now bandaged with ointment. The doesn't spell had caught him in his fight with Yatinbut it had done damage on him for sure.
Draco hadn't had his wand on him after his freak out after Christmas dinner. Everything after the wand being pressed to his neck was fuzzy. He had to have dodged Yatin's attack because he was sure the fight hadn't been quick.
Draco was hiding behind the flipped over desk that Yatin had hit with the reducto spell. He had angered the teen when he'd dodged his first attack. But Draco could only jump out the way for each of the curses sent his way seeing as he had no idea where his wand was. This shouldn't have been able to happen. It was Hogwarts, he should be safe not fucking terrified out of his mind.
Suddenly the desk was thrown aside leaving Draco vulnerable again. The blonde quickly grabbed the closest item near him and chucked it at the other. It was Blaise's crystal ball that shattered on Yatin's hip.
"Incarcerous!" He roared.
Draco threw himself down on the floor with a loud 'thump!' He wasn't suited for battle, one of the many reasons he was so desperate to escape this shitty war in the first place. His only hope was to find his wand or distract him long enough that Harry would come down looking for him after his talk with the headmasters. Both options looked rather dull in the current light of things.
"You're fucking insane!" Draco yells, scrambling upwards. He was lucky that Yatin was just as shit at dueling as he was. It was only because he had his wand that Yatin was beating him to a pulp so far. "You know he's just using you, right?!"
Yatin smirks and throws another binding curse Draco barely swerves out of the way.
Then Draco sees it; his wand sticking out from his robes behind the manic teen. He needed to distract him somehow. He went into overdrive thinking over all the possibilities in less than half a second before another curse was fired.
He noticed the chandelier above Yatin sparkling brilliantly, almost daring him to use it.
Yatin lifted his wand at him again and Draco took his chance. He threw his entire body weight at him, granted which wasn't a lot, but it was enough to throw him off guard and both of them to tumble to the ground. The curse hit the chandelier above them causing it to shatter down in Yatin's eyes and across Draco's back. Yatin yelled and threw him off so he could wipe the debris from his eyes.
Draco took his chance. He pushed himself off and over. His wand was only a few feet away and he'll have some sort of defense. He won't let himself be taken back to Malfoy Manor. It was either to die here or die there. At least he stood some kind of chance against someone younger than him other than the darkest wizard of the century.
Finally, he grabbed the wand and turned around, hands shaking as he pointed it at Yatin. Yatin moved just as quickly. One of his hands was held against his bleeding eye and the other aiming his wand.
"Stupe-"
"Sectumsempra!"
Blood spurted from Draco's face and chest as though he had been slashed with an invisible sword. He staggered backward on his knees and onto the cool stone floor. His mind screamed out as the pain drove through his abdomen. Every flaming desire to survive he just had become confused as the burning pain licked up his body like a scorching fire. The only thought he had was 'like a knife through butter.'
The pain intensifies in the few seconds following, small lulls giving false hope of an end. Each peak robs his ability to speak. All I can do is writhe, the occasional whimper escaping to echo off the walls as he stares up at Yatin towering over him. He must be dying of blood loss because for a second he swears he sees his father standing over him instead.
"I told you. I told you someone would kill for your position."
Draco can't speak. He fears he might choke on his own blood frothing from his mouth. Yatin held his wand at him again, Draco's face was now shining scarlet. He can't move. He's going to die and there was nothing he could do about it. And he was terrified.
"You're lucky the Dark Lord wants you," Yatin says. "Or I'll do it myself. Stupefy!"
It went black.
His headache gave a jarring stab of pain stab through his skull at the sudden movement to get off the bed. He pauses and leans up against the wall to try and gain his bearings. He felt vulnerable in only his pants but there were a million other things to focus on at the moment.
Why hadn't he been killed already? Why was he in his room, bandaged up when he should have been thrown into the dungeons at first sight? He stared down at the delicately applied bandages on his body with newfound fascination. They wouldn't have left him in here alone, it just didn't make sense.
He squeezed his eyes shut trying to block out the haunting memories of the building he'd thought he'd never see again. Irony would have that it was going to be the last place he ever saw. What would the papers say when they find his tortured body cut up somewhere for some innocent muggles to find? Bramble would probably never find out being overseas.
Oh Merlin, Harry. He'd probably be the only one to notice he'd gone missing and wouldn't be able to do rubbish about it. He can't imagine his reaction. He'll probably do something stupid and Draco wouldn't be able to stop him.
I'll be worse when you're dead. You knew this would happen eventually and you did this to him anyway. His own voice whispered back to him. He doesn't have the energy to fight it.
Another desperate look around the room was him searching for some way out of this certain hell. There's the window by the bench but it was no doubt covered with an arsenal of locking charms he had no hopes of getting past without his wand. Not to mention he was three stories up.
He steadily limps towards it regardless. His pace is slow, leaning up against the wall and taking breaks every few steps to catch his breath. The after-effects of the curse Yatin gave him was similar to the cruiatus.
He had to act quickly if he was going to come up with some kind of escape plan. If they had left him in here and not a cell he had no doubt there would be some death eater coming in to check on him any minute now.
The window didn't budge no matter how much he pulled. Perhaps they forgot to place an anti-shattering charm. Draco looked around the room for something he could test the window with and grabbed the base of the lamp on the bedside table. It made no use, not even the smallest of cracks was made.
Draco did not plead and definitely didn't lose his composure easily, but at that very moment, he wanted nothing more than to break down and cry. This was all his fault. Everything up to this point was pointless because just as he predicted months ago, he was going to die at the hands of the person he'd been forced to pledge loyalty to. Nothing felt as pathetic as that.
He was able to take the base to the glass a third time in frustration when the door opened behind him. He almost doesn't turn his head to look, already accepting his fate.
"For mercy's sake sit down this instant before you bleed yourself to death."
Draco nearly drops the lamp in shock. "Mother?"
Oops! Sorry for the long wait uhhhh I kinda have no excuse for this. This chapter is the longest ever though being double the size of the earlier chapters? Tbh I shouldn't even be writing this its 11 pm and I gotta study for my driver's test tomorrow hahaha I'm screwed.
