Emily had sent over the new script For 4A, I was excited to get back to work. I usually read and made notes on all my scripts before working on visualizing how I thought each scene would play out. That morning, I read through script 1, Emily usually gave us two scripts at a time because we always shot them that way. I was happy my character Waverly would make it out of the garden and see Nicole again. When I moved to reading about mine and Kat/ Nicole first scene together, it just said Waverly and Nicole have sex.

Emily usually was very descriptive when it came to her scripts. At first I thought there was a page missing so I flipped through the entire script looking for the sex scene description, but there was nothing. Returning to the page, Waverly and Nicole have sex. I thought about what that might look like on screen. I thought it best to call Emily an ask about the missing notes for our Director Poalo, where the description on how camera shots were going to be set up. They were missing. Emily answered her phone, I went straight into the sex scene and the missing description, laughing on the other end Emily said, "Dominique, they have sex." I said, "I know but like where and how to do you see myself and Kat capturing what you envision without the scene description." Emily ended by saying, look whatever you and Kat feel the scene needs is what we will go with.

At this point in my life, Kat and I hadn't seen each other in about 5 months. We had not spoken much less either. Our friendship, you could say fizzled away in the last two years. Things between us were very distant, for a couple of reasons. Number one reason was that I had made her uncomfortable with some things I shared on interview panels. She thought it would be best that we keep our hands to ourselves from now on and not really share our real feeling on scenes we had done in the past in public. I remember it like it was yesterday, she sat me down to have this conversation, I felt awkward about making her feel uncomfortable. I really never wanted to make her feel uncomfortable around me, but she was.

Since then she acts very different around me. She doesn't grab my hand or hug me anymore since that conversation. In public, things have cooled down. If we hug it is only because we play the part for cameras. We were once really close, very touchy, but not anymore. Now, she has become good friends with Tamara and Mel. Even though it hurts me deeply, I have tried to move forward with my life. I just don't ever want to have that sort of conversation with her again. It was hard for me to hear her say those things to me. I know that the fans have noticed, it is pretty obvious especially when most of Season 3 kissing scenes were pretty technical and dry. Truth is as an actor, it is hard to makeout with someone who you've had that type of conversation with. It was traumatic.

Besides that in the last two years, I had been trying to figure out how to come to terms with some inner demons, I really never wanted to tackle. I know most people felt I was queer before I came to terms with it myself. It not easy being who you are in front of the world, especially in front of the people you love. After that conversation with Kat, I crawled back into a hole. I felt really embarrassed and disgusted with myself. To the point that I thought it hard to return for Season 4. Now, I would have to have sex with Kat/Nicole on screen. I will admit that I cried. It is not easy having to be around her anymore much less pretend to be her girlfriend for the camera. But, it is my job to be professional and to be Waverly.

A couple of days after talking to Emily, I was surprised when I got a call from Kat. She wanted to see if we could catch up and maybe talk about the scripts. I was really nervous, Kat invited herself over to my house. Even though, I didn't feel comfortable about her coming over to my flat especially after she had treated me so coldly for the last couple of years, I could not find the courage to say no. Kat had changed since the show started, at first she was really sweet and attentive with me, but after she secured her recurring role as Waverly's girlfriend, she started to change with me.

The day she came over to my house, she acted like we had never had that conversation. That conversation really destroyed me and sent me into a dark depression. I traveled the world to try forget it ever happened and to forget I ever cared about her as a person. It does shame me to admit that I ever had feelings for her. Maybe it was a crush or maybe it was how she initially acted around me that confused me into believing she really liked me too. The way I think about it now is that she was just trying to keep her part of Nicole. Kat was never my true friend, it was all an act to keep a part. Sadly, the fans really believe she and I are good friends.

My stomach aches every time she is around me. So anyways, when she was at my house she acted interested in my life. She drank my wine and ate my olives, eventually she brought up the sex scene. These were her exact words, "Dom, we need to give the Lesbians something graphic so they yearn for more." Its true Wayhaught is what keeps the show going. If the fans only knew the real Kat, the Kat that does not even like me as a person. It so sad to think that she told the world that she is Bisexual when she is so disgusted by gays she meets at the conventions.

Anyhow, back to the sex scene, Kat planned the entire scene out. "Dom, I will grab your breasts and you will grab my ass." She wanted the scene to be like nothing ever seen on network television before. At this point in my life, I was in a deep depression, I had no self confidence. Before I knew it she had sold it to Emily and the director Paolo, when I got onset everyone was excited for the explicit scene. I couldn't even find the courage to speak up and say something. I thought for sure Paolo and Emily would realize this, but they didn't.