Another distress flare exploded in the air. Mr. Ismay was twirling around the boat deck and as the rocket exploded, something inside of him snapped.
"For God's sake, hurry!" he panicked. "There's no time to waste!" he ran down the boat deck, pushing passengers out of his way to a lifeboat's ropes. "Lower away! Lower away! Lower away!" he repeatedly shouted.
"Hey, get out of the way you fool!" it was Harold who was around that tore him away from the ropes. "Do you want me to drown the lot of them?!"
"Do you know who I am?!" Ismay protested.
"You are a passenger and I am a ship bloody officer! Now do as you're told!" Harold told him off and got back on helping his other shipmates.
"He is quite right." Ismay whispered. "Sorry, I—" but Harold had no time to spare anymore. Third officer Pitman charged him with loading lifeboat No. 5.
On the other end, Mr. Andrews was showing to the captain and Mr. Wilde lifeboat No.6 which was rowing away.
"There." he pointed out.
Mr. Wilde blew his whistle.
"Come back! Come back to the ship!" captain said into his loudspeaker. "Boat 6! Come back to the ship!"
Wilde blew his whistle again.
"This is the captain! This is the captain!" he repeated. "Come back to the ship!" both him and Wilde waved their arms, but it was hopeless.
He put down his loud speaker and whispered "The fools." He was feeling more and more helpless.
Badour siblings actually found themselves in the gymnasium with other first-class passengers because Estella was so destressed, she couldn't go on. She was sitting down with Elaine beside her still sobbing every now and then while Philip was pacing before them.
"You know what?!" he snapped. "While we waste precious time sitting here you might as well explain this charade you created."
"So it's my fault Titanic hit an iceberg and is sinking now?" Elaine snapped back.
"Don't play smart with me."
"Then you shouldn't accuse me of things you know nothing about."
"I asked you to explain."
"You didn't have to be rude about it."
"Stop it, you two!" Estella cried.
They both remained silent and looked the other way.
"I'm sorry." Philip was first to apologize.
"Yeah, me too." Elaine followed. "It's not my place to tell you Estella's personal things." she said after a while. "She can tell you if she wants to."
Right in that moment, the door flew open and Edward walked in. He looked relieved when he saw them.
"Oh my God, I've been looking everywhere for you." he said once he approached them. "Is everyone alright?"
"Yeah, we're fine. Where have you been?" asked Philip.
"I had to get some belongings from my room then I ran into Kenneth and he told me what happened. I promised him I'd find you and get you on the boat." he looked at all of them.
"Where is father now?" asked Elaine.
"I wouldn't know."
"We have to get going if we want to get a chance to survive. Come on, Estella." Elaine helped her get up, and luckily, she didn't protest, but nodded her head.
Edward looked at her, but she avoided his eyes. You could tell he had real feelings for her and was hurt. But he put all of that aside, the main thing is to get them out of this alive.
"Will you hold the boat a moment?" a lady asked Lightoller. "I just have to run back to my room—" instead of answering her, he grabbed her and put her in the boat.
"Sit down!" he ordered. "She's the last. Prepare to lower." he said to seamen.
"Mr. Lightoller!" Mr. Andrews was coming from the sea of people calling for him. "Why are the boats being launched half full?" he demanded to know.
"Not now, Mr. Andrews." Lightoller replied.
"There, look!" he pointed behind. "Twenty or so in a boat built to sixty-five? And I saw one boat with only twelve! Twelve!"
"Well, we weren't sure of the weight, Mr. Andrews. These boats may buckle." Charles said in defense.
"Rubbish!" shouted Andrews. "They were tested in Belfast with the weight of 70 men. Now, fill these boats, Mr. Lightoller! For God's sake man!"
Charles Lightoller gulped and looked around him, breathing heavily.
"Please, I need more women and children, please!" he finally said.
On the port side of the ship, Harold was loading boats with his best mate, James. They were working as fast as they could, but each time they turned to place a passenger in a boat it seemed like more appeared on deck. That awoke distress in both of them, knowing they could not help every one of them.
"Elaine was looking for you earlier tonight." James said.
"What? What did she want?" he asked, helping passengers in between.
"To talk." the other boy shrugged.
"So what happened? Why didn't she?"
"You were off duty. She tried to get to your room, but was held back. Wilde was leading her back when she saw me and asked me to help, but I…"
"But you what?!" Harold yelled.
"I wanted to, but I-I-I couldn't… We had a meeting in the chart room."
"Why are you telling me this now? Why didn't you tell me sooner?!" he let it get to him and grabbed the other boy by the shoulders.
"We hit an iceberg, Harold!" James raised his voice.
The two young men just stared into each other. Finally, Harold's grip around James' shoulders loosened and he let his arms fall to his sides.
"Right. You're right. I'm sorry."
James nodded his head. "It's alright, I don't blame you. I'm sorry too."
"Have you seen her?" Harold tried to stay focused and help passengers in need, but there was pain in his voice.
"Not since then, no."
Harold didn't say anything, but this information only made it worse for him, thinking about their last conversation. She is a 1st class woman; her chances of survival are high. Still, the thought that it would probably be her last memory of him was obnoxious to him, if he doesn't survive and make things right with her. She could already be in one of the boats that were already lowered. But then again, not every woman will make it out alive from here.
"I'm sure she's already in a lifeboat." James voiced his thoughts.
"Possibly." agreed Harold.
He wanted to believe it, but then again, he couldn't. He had to see it to believe it.
"Listen, even if she isn't, I'll make sure to find her and put her in a lifeboat." James looked at him intensively, waiting for an answer, but he avoided his eyes and kept busy loading the boat. "Harold, I promise you that."
Finally, he glanced at him. Without saying anything he just nodded his head.
Once they were out on the boat deck again, Elaine realized how drastically the situation changed each second. It was a riot. They had to push their way in order to get to the lifeboats.
"Come, over here. I see one." Edward was leading them.
"Keep order! Keep order here!" Estella's ears recognized Lightoller's shouts. "Back! Back! Back!" he was saying to men who were trying to go past and climb a boat.
All of a sudden, someone pushed a woman overboard, but luckily, she held onto a boat. Charles quickly turned to follow the situation.
"Hold onto her!" he shouted. "Pull her in!"
The woman was saved by other passengers and was back on board.
"Get back, I say, or I'll shoot you all like dogs!" suddenly Charles roared and pulled out his revolver, pointing at the herd of men. "Keep order here! Keep order, I say." he demanded.
Men withdrew in fear not letting a single sound out anymore. But a few cries caught their attention.
"Charles! Charles!" it was Estella, making her way towards him.
"Miss, this boat is full, you'll have to find another one." he said to her.
"Charles, it's me," she cried. "Let's get another boat and leave."
"Don't be foolish, miss, I have my duty to do. Lower this boat away!" he turned away, not giving her a second glance.
She fell to her knees, ugly sobbing. All this was painful for Elaine to watch. She came to her side, trying to pick her up.
"Please, Estella, stand up."
Estella was murmuring something, but it was incomprehensible due to her sobbing. Elaine looked back at Edward and Philip pleadingly. Philip stepped forward and force pulled his sister up.
"Come on, Stel, come on. It's not worth it." he shushed her.
Edward lingered behind them while they were walking away, finding another boat. Philip looked at Elaine and they understood each other perfectly. He began to realize what was really going on.
Harold and James worked as fast as they could, but the situation was getting out of control more and more. Titanic was sinking faster and faster. The passengers were panicking, screaming and crying. Some of them were throwing themselves overboard.
"This is getting out of hand." James said.
Harold agreed, but had no time to answer him verbally.
"This group of boats should have an officer with them." James proceeded.
"No. 14 is almost ready, you should get on—" he didn't get to finish because things were getting more and more precarious and before he knew it, a herd of passengers tried to get past them and onto the boat.
"Get back! Stay back!" they both were shouting, keeping them back.
"Mr. Moody, get onto the boat!" Harold shouted.
"No, Mr. Lowe, you should." James replied.
"Mr. Moody, this ain't time for games! Save yourself man!"
"You are my superior officer, Harold." he tried to reason.
"As your superior officer you should listen to me!"
Harold had a point, but James wanted to stay and help as much as he could.
"I'll get on another one. Think of Elaine, Harold, she'll be waiting for you in some of the boats."
He didn't argue further, but hopped onto the boat.
"Right. Is everybody all right? Nobody panic." he said to the passengers before he gave permission to lower away. "Sit down." he said to some passengers who tried to move.
As lifeboat was descending, people from below deck tried to leap onto the boat, but seamen pushed them away with battens. Harold pulled out his revolver and pointed.
"Stay back, you lot!" he threatened. "Just stay back, the lot of you! Stay back!" he was shouting repeatedly, waving his gun. "Stay back!" he fired three shots into the air.
Elaine heard the gun shots. She twirled around before she saw a familiar face again.
"Will the men please hold back! Hold back, I say!" another few shots were fired. "Women and children only! Get back!"
"James! James!" she ran towards him.
"Elaine! What are you still doing here? Get into the boat immediately!"
She looked around. She knew how close Harold and him are and she haven't seen him since afternoon.
"James, where is Harold?" she asked quietly.
"He's gone. Get into the boat now, please." he said helping another passenger.
"Gone?!" she shouted. "What do you mean gone?! Is he dead gone or-?"
"Give her to me." James took a child from her father.
"James, I'm not going anywhere until you give me an answer!"
"I'm so sorry, Elaine. I made him a promise to get you on a boat so now please do so!" he said this a bit more sternly as he was losing his patience as well.
"Yes, Elaine, get into the boat." it was someone else's voice.
She turned around to see William with his mother Charlotte.
"Come through, madame. This way. Step back, sir." James said taking her by the arms and pushing William back, but he just kept smirking at Elaine.
"You can't tell me what to do. You don't own me." Elaine said, disgusted.
"No, not yet. That's why I want my future wife to be well and alive."
"What makes you think I'd marry you?"
"I don't think you'd have much choice, my dear. Your father's new company in New York needs investment and after that little scandal your sister made, I doubt there will be any wedding happening. And you still want to have nice things in life, don't you, Elaine?" he looked at her more intensively and smirked.
She just kept staring back at him.
"You, unimaginable bastard." she finally mustered.
"Come on, Elaine, your sister is already in the boat." it was Charlotte's voice.
She turned to see Estella seated with a blanket around her. She turned back to look at Philip and Edward, who she would have to leave behind. He hugged Philip tight.
"Come on, hurry. They're almost full." said Philip.
"See you on the other side." she said before parting with him.
She looked at James who took her by the hand.
"Come on, step aboard, Elaine."
She found a seat beside her sister.
"And lower away!"
She and James looked at each other again. She still didn't get an answer to her question and she couldn't read it from his eyes which alarmed her even more. She would have to wait for tomorrow to see if her greatest fears are confirmed.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm so sorry for this terrible chapter, but I just can't wait to finish this so I can start my other fic I promise I'll try to do better xx
