Onset, I didn't want to come out of my trailer. I felt sick to my stomach, I told Emily that I needed to be alone for a moment. I was having an anxiety attack. Everyone was ready to film the sex scene except me. My body was covered in baby oil, after two hours, Kat came into my trailer in a white robe. In her sweetest voice, she asked Emily to give us a minute alone. Before Emily left she said, "Girls, let's just cancel today's shoot. We can figure it all out tomorrow. Dom, gets some rest." As the door shut behind her, I exhaled a sigh of relief forgetting Kat was here right in front of me. As soon as the door closed shut, Kat grabbed me so hard by the hand that she dug her nails into me. I tried to get her to stop but she was so angry with me. With my other hand, I grabbed at her robe, as I struggled to get free. In the struggle, Kat's robe fell from her body. Kat was completely naked with just a body colored tape covering her vaginal area. Fighting for her to let me go, I said, " please Kat, your hurting me."
In that instant she pushed me away, I was so relieved she let me go. My hand had two bloody gashes in it. I got myself off the floor and wrapped my hand in some paper towels. As I did this Mel walked in the trailer. Looking at us, Kat moved to get her robe back on her body. Mel said, "Practicing, I see". Until she noticed my hand. "Is everything ..okay? Dom, my God your bleeding," As she ran over to me to help with my hand, I started crying. Mel made eye contact with Kat as she exited the trailer. "You okay, Baby girl? " I continued to cry as she led me over to the sink to wash the blood off my hand. As water ran over my wound, Mel called Emily. That day was awful, I had to get some stitches.
I couldn't believe Kat had gotten so angry that she would do something like this to me. After a couple of drinks and pain killers, I finally stopped thinking about Kat. I had never seen her like that before, I knew she was cruel with her words but I never figure she'd physically lay a hand on me. Being that I was injured, Emily decided that filming the sex scene could wait. We were scheduled to do a couple of Wayhaught panels in a few places, about a week and a half later. Since the incident, Kat and I were in the same room together. I could tell Kat was avoiding eye contact with me. I had lied to everyone about what had happened in my trailer that day with Kat. After a brief photo shoot as Wayhaught, Kat whispered in my ear that she needed to talk. Having her so close, made my entire body shiver. I didn't respond. I was afraid to even look at her. I had always been so in love with her that I felt so defenseless around her. I wanted so much for this nightmare to end, even though I knew that deep down I loved her.
After the interview panel, I went back to my hotel room to rest a little before Emily, Kat and I were set to be guests on a Podcast. I was afraid to be alone with her ever again. As I paced my hotel room, there was a knock-on my door. I heard, "Dom, it's me. Let me in, please. " Reluctantly, I opened the door, as my eyes made contact with her brown eyes, I swallowed hard. It was the exact same look she gave me when we first kissed onset. That was the Kat I had fallen in love with. I moved away from the door to let her into my room, my heart was nervously racing as I closed the door. Facing each other, Kat grabbed at her shirt nervously, looking down she began to sob. I couldn't bring myself to get closer to her, I was scared. Looking at her, she began wiping away her tears.
She said, "Dom, I don't know how to start. I...I.I am really sorry for what I did to you, to us. I been so awful to you. I have no excuses. And, I know I can never ...ever fix everything that has happened between us. I was awful." Sobbing louder Kat fell to her knees, "Dom, I am so sorry for everything. I didn't know how to deal with my feelings for you. I thought the only way to get myself away from being so in love with you was by making you hate me. But it didn't work, it only made me more and more miserable. Then...I ...hurt you." Looking at my hand, Kat began crying into her lap. "Dom, I am sorry...I...I hurt you."
I stood there watching her, unable to move or speak. Kat is an amazing actor, was this just another one of her ploys to confuse me again and stupidly let my guard down. I froze. Kat got up and reached for me, but my body unconsciously jerked back away from her. This was all to much for me. She said, "I know your afraid of me, I wouldn't trust me either if I were you. Dom, I just needed to apologize to you." With that, Kat walked to the door and left my hotel room.
I stood there for what seemed like forever. Shaking my head, I knew I had to snap out of this. I needed to pretend like none of this ever happened. It played over and over in my mind, I wanted so much to believe her, but she is a good actress. I wanted so much to believe she really did love me. But I knew better, it was all to painful. Just another of Kat's games.
As I ready myself for the Podcast, Emily called to let me know she was not going to be able to make it. Kat and me would be riding alone to the Podcast interviews tonight and there would be no one sitting between us, it would just be us answering questions about Wayhaught. Once downstairs, Kat was waiting for me as we met our driver. In the limo, there was no one but us alone. I could smell her lavender shampoo. Kat was more beautiful in person then she was on television. Not one word was spoken between us in the thirty minute ride to the studio. As I exited the car, my dress got caught on the door almost losing my balance, Kat put her hands on my waist to steady me. Once steady, I caught a glimpse of Kat trying to unwrap a piece of material from my dress from the car door. I was stuck, as she worked she said, "Dom, don't move. I almost got it. There...!" Looking back at her and the tiny hole in my dress, I moved onto the sidewalk and away from the limo. As she exited, she said, "You can not tell, its a tiny little hole. You look amazing." I looked up at her and followed her into the building.
At the elevator, we waited without looking at each other. Kat allowed me to enter first as she followed behind. She said, "It is on the 19th floor." The entire time I couldn't speak. I did not say one word to her, not even a thank you for helping me with my dress. Nothing. The elevator ride was uncomfortable, the silence was awkward. As we both exited, there was a young blonde woman waiting for us. The interview went well, Wayhaught was a well trained machine. I was exhausted, all this pretending had taken its toll on me both physically and emotionally. As we entered the elevator and the door shut closed. Kat once again spoke, "Dom, please talk to me." At that moment, Emotion overcame me and I could no longer hold it all in. I turned away from her but there was no escaping her in this confined space, I had no where to hide or run. It was just me and her. As I had my back turned away from her and facing the back of the elevator, I felt her arms wrap around my waist and embrace me from behind. I could feel her head lean into my shoulder. Feeling her breath on my neck, I said sobbing, " please...let me go Kat. I cant take anymore." In that instant, Kat softly placed a kiss on my neck and instantly let me go. I continued to face away from her the entire ride down the elevator. As the elevator reached the lobby and came to a stop, Kat exited as soon as the door opened. I wiped the tears from my eyes and turned around to exit behind her as we walked to our waiting limo, neither her nor I spoke nor made eye contact the entire ride back to the hotel.
Kat tipped the driver, as I started walking into the hotel lobby and making my way to my room, the tears started to streamed down my face thinking about the feeling of her arms wrapped around me. As I reached my door, I searched through my purse for the door key card. I was a mess, my hands were trembling, as I pulled out the card, I started trying to get the damn thing to open the door. In that moment, I felt Kat grab the key card from my hand and swipe the card as she pushed the door open for me to enter. Entering the door way of my hotel room, I noticed the lights being flicked on and the door closing behind us. When I turned to look behind me, Kat stood there looking at me. As our eyes met, Kat moved to close the gap between us and started kissing my mouth. Running her hands up and down my face, I melted into her, neither her nor I spoke a single word, as she moved us back onto the bed. Kat laid on top of me as she peppered kisses all over my face and neck. As our mouths found each other, our kisses began to deepen, I wanted her just as much as she wanted me, as she positioned her weight between my legs to push them open. I moaned out loud. I took a deep breath and said, "Kat, stop. We can't." Kissing me once again, I heard her whispered, "Shh, Baby...we both needed to do this along time ago."
I knew she was right, we needed to figure out what all this meant. Last thing I heard her say was, "Dom, help me get this dress off of you." As I held up my body for her to unzip my dress, she swiftly pulled down my dress exposing my breasts. As soon as the cool air hit my nipples I instantly felt them harden. Tugging my dress down my body, I watched as she slipped her fingers into my panties pulling them off in one swoop with my dress. I was delirious with desire, I didn't know if this was real or a just another wet dream or maybe we were onset playing Season 4 sex scene.
