And so, it's done! This is my quarantine fic. I'm still in quarantine as I write this. There's always denouement... and here's mine:
~~ Silly Epilogue ~~
Rita Skeeter published "The Life and lies of Albus Dumbledore" in the spring term, not many weeks after Dumbledore's untimely passing. When asked to comment, Harry responded with an "I'm not surprised, this is how that evil man buggared me," response in the Quibbler. Remus Lupin tried to scold Harry over it. Harry metaphorically kicked the werewolf in the balls and told him he was useless and to get gone. Lupin ran off with his tail between his legs, per usual.
Kreacher and Dobby fixed up Number 12 and Harry lived there for a few years whilst working on his masteries. After he and Hermione got married, they fixed up Potter Cottage with a sum of money that they were awarded by the government for the false imprisonment of Sirius Black – on paper anyway. The unspeakables pulled Harry aside and told him it was because he'd killed Voldemort but they'd never acknowledge it with an order of Merlin. Harry was fine with that. He and Hermione were both wildly successful, professional, and supremely happy, personally.
The Weasleys had mixed lives: the twins, Bill and Charlie were all quite successful, and Harry and Hermione were actually godparents to Bill's second child. Percy never made it higher than department head in the ministry – he was too tainted with Fudge and Umbridge for any success to really follow him. Molly finally let go of her dream to gain the Dagworth-Granger legacy, but lost all influence on Harry Potter because of it. Arthur was just relieved that only his youngest children were tainted with the blood traitor brush this time. He'd shot for the stars with his play for the Potter legacy and he'd lost spectacularly. But he still had his plug collection. Ron got his dream of being a professional quidditch player for Chudley and actually helped them win a few games. He was able to convince a poor woman to take pity on him and was married for five years before dying from drunk broom riding. Ginny became a potions mistress, but few who knew her trusted her, so she was professionally successful but had no friends or even lovers. In her aching loneliness and anger, she turned to the dark magic that Riddle had woken in her… but that's another story
~~ Real Epilogue ~~
"Are the boys down?" She asked, looking up from her book.
"Finally," he sighed, dropping onto the cushions.
Hermione laid back on the couch, putting her feet in her husband's lap. She was well into her third pregnancy in six years and she almost had sympathy for that bint Molly Weasley. Almost.
Harry started to massage her feet in the way he knew she liked. The safest time to shag was when she was already pregnant. No worries then. If he played his cards right tonight…
"What are your ideas on names for our third son?" She asked.
"Hmmm… I just want him to be here and safe and you both to be healthy. Why, what are you thinking?" Because she always was…
"I like Perseus," she declared.
"Percy," Harry stated firmly, "would be a pretentious git from the womb."
"Theseus," she ventured.
"Theseus?" He wrinkled his nose. "Sounds like feces, and that's exactly what the other blokes would call him."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Boys."
"You keep having them," he smirked.
"As though you're faultless in this, Harry James. It's as though magic herself wants these lines to continue. We BOTH had contraceptive charms this time!"
"Hmm hmm," he murmured, continuing to rub the bottom of her calves.
"What about Achilles?" she wondered aloud.
"He'd be a real heel," Harry quipped.
"Oh har dee har har. You're a real comedian."
"I'll be here all week. Tip your elves."
"Haracles," She said with an impatient breath. "We could call him Harry."
"What?" He stopped rubbing then. "No. Hermione. We are not doing that to the lad. Charlus Harrison I understood, Potter family names, blah blah. Hell, I even understood Leo Sirius, as that followed the Black naming standards. But what on earth is going on with these ancient names?"
"Charlus is the Potter heir. Leo is the Black heir – though, for the record, I still prefer Antares. This one," she rubbed her belly, "will be the Dagworth-Granger heir. Hector and Jason are both Greek heroes. As is Odysseus..." she suggested.
"Seriously? You'd saddle our beloved child with a name better fit for a hippogriff?"
"Harry!" She kicked at him, just enough annoyed to show. He started the massage again.
"What about Alexander?" He asked.
"Alexander…" she mused
"He was Greek, and I think it's a great name. Get it?" He nudged her leg "Alexander? Great?"
Hermione heaved a great sigh. "Yes, Harry, I'm pregnant, not brain dead. And your dad jokes are getting worse. But you're right. Alexander is a great name. I'd like to honor my mom's family with his middle name."
"Oh great Mordred. You're not giving him Tybalt or Prospero or some other weirdo Shakespeare name…"
"I thought just using Bardley. But you've made me think with the Tybalt… perhaps Mercrutio? Falstaff?"
"Puck!" Harry rejoined and they shared a grin.
"Well, with your genetics, I'm certain that he'll be quite Puckish. We probably shouldn't encourage it," she laughed her eyes alight with humor and something else.
"I like your jeans better, especially when I get to pull them off…" Harry murmured, putting her feet down and levering himself between her legs to lie gently atop her. He leaned down and began his seduction.
*WHAM* *patter patter patter* *giggle giggle* "shh, Daddy'll hear!"
Harry sighed and ran his hand through his hair while Hermione giggled beneath him.
No matter what he was about to find above stairs, he couldn't help but smile. Life was perfect.
~~ that's all folks ~~
(AN: Lots of fic I've read blame Ron for the ick that is Hugo. That seems more like a Hermione thing. I doubt Ron cared what the sprog's name was. This epilogue, much like the original epilogue, was written well before most of this fic. Hope I didn't fall into the same pit as JKR did!
At any rate, I can't believe this thing is finally done. You know, I'd think it was done and let it sit for a few weeks and then suddenly another fill in scene that *needed* to be there and another 10 pages would appear. Sheesh. This is probably my last HP fanfic, though I have a lot of fragments, I just don't see them going anywhere. I feel this is a good way for the muse to bid me adieu. Take care, gentle reader. It was nice writing for you!)
