WARNING: The rape will be mentioned in this chapter; nothing too graphic will be included. If this is hard or upsetting for anyone please don't read.
Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, comments, votes, and more! Sorry, it's taken me a little while longer to update; I was finishing one of my other stories. Hopefully, the next chapter won't take me as long to update!
Song (On Wattpad): Save You by Turin Brakes
Chapter Three: I'm Fine
"I won't cry, it'll be fine. I'll take my last breath. Push it out my chest 'til there's nothing left."
― Hollywood Undead
Sylvie sat there on the floor with her back and head to the door for the whole day on Sunday from light to dark. She was so tired and in horrific pain but every time she closed her eyes to try and get some sleep, all she would see was his face.
How was she ever going to be able to go to bed and not think about him? What about being around men in general? Could she do that? I mean she works with lots of men for twenty-four hours straight. What if she couldn't do it? What if she couldn't be around her family anymore?
She refused to cry anymore. She felt like that's all she had done since the second it happened. So she didn't, she stared straight ahead as if her life depended on it.
Monday morning came like a stab to the chest. She didn't want to go out and face everyone, but she had too. She had already tried to call Chief Boden that morning and ask if she could get a fill-in on Sixty-One, but he told her that today was an all hands on deck kind of day, due to the flu taking out a huge number of the CFD.
So she had to go. There was no way out now.
She took one last look at herself in her floor-length mirror before she walked out and met Foster by the door. Almost every inch of Sylvie's body was bruised or scratched. The cut on the side of her head had started to heal, even though, the redness around it screamed something else. She tried to cover as much as she could with makeup, but it didn't really help. It looked like someone had taken a baseball bat and beat her body over and over again.
"Brett, come on we're going to be late!" Screamed Foster from the kitchen as she tried to fit in as much cereal as her mouth would take.
Sylvie flinched at hearing Emily's voice. She was still pretty anxious and antsy about every noise she heard. Rather it be a loud neighbor, who sounded like they were River Dancing on the floor above them, or a pigeon tapping on her bedroom window, every noise she heard made her jump and look for him.
"I guess it's now or never." Whispered Sylvie as she threw one more look at the mirror, grabbed her bag, and made her way over to her door. Where she trepidatiously grabbed the brass door handle unlocked it and turned it. She wanted to run and hide the second she stepped out. She didn't feel safe. What if he was lurking around and waiting for her somewhere? Or watching her? What if he was watching her?
"Oh, my God! Sylvie, what happened?"
Sylvie looked up at Emily whose eyes were wide with an agape mouth so big from surprise she could actually catch flies if she wanted to.
"If thought you said black and blue were in this season." Said Sylvie as she kept her head down and tried to jokingly get away with hiding her injuries.
Emily shook her head and took two giant steps towards Sylvie, who on new instincts tried to step back and hide, "Sylvie...did someone do this to you?"
Sylvie stopped breathing once she heard those words leave Emily's mouth. Should she tell her?
"No, no of course not. I...I fell down the stairs the other night in my wedges." Raddled off Sylvie as she tried to make her lie sound believable.
"The stairs? What were you doing on the stairs at night?"
Sylvie silently cursed under her breath, of course, she would want to know more information and not let it go. "I...I ...the elevator was down again, and you know how I get after too many glasses of Rosé. "
Emily nodded and lifted her hand to get a closer look at Sylvie's cheek, but Sylvie quickly flinched and stepped away. "If we don't hurry we're going to be late, and you know how Chief gets when people are late to his morning meetings."
"Did you at least get checked out at the ER or call your doctor?" Questioned Emily as she ignored Sylvie's last comment.
"Foster, I promise I'm fine. It was just a fall and you know I bruise really easy."
"Maybe you call Boden and see if you can take this shift off."
Sylvie shook her head and sighed, "I already called and he said that too many people are out today."
"Why didn't you wake me up yesterday? I could have checked you out."
Sylvie rolled her eyes and grabbed her bag before she made her way to the door where she shakily unlocked it and opened it, "Come on, or we're going to be late and stuck on bathroom duty for a month."
"You're lucky Chloe dropped Joe off at the station today or the both of us would have ganged up on you and made you go to the ER."
Sylvie quickly checked the hallway making sure that he wasn't out there before she ignored Emily's last comment and walked out of the apartment. She was checking every corner, nook, and cranny for him.
Sylvie thought it was a horrible thing that she knew who he was. She knew what he looked like, how he talked, and how he smelt. It wasn't a random person whose face she never got a look at, it was someone she had seen and interacted with. Sylvie feared that she would spend the rest of her life looking for that man.
The ride to the firehouse was filled with Emily's overzealous retelling of her Saturday night that resulted in her sleeping all day Sunday.
"Hey did you clean the apartment?"
Sylvie nodded and kept her eyes glued to the passing streets and cars as Foster continued to drive. So far she had done nothing but shake and sweat the whole car ride. She was so nervous about what they would all do and ask her once they saw her face.
Emily thanked her for cleaning then quickly finished telling her story about a man she met the other night.
They had just parked the car when Sylvie felt her heart stop and her whole body freeze. She could do this. Right? This was her job. This is what she loved. She could do this. He wasn't going to take this away from her too.
"Hey! I almost forgot, didn't you go out for drinks with that gym guy the other night? What was his name? Bryan? Ryan? No, it was Owen, right? How did that go?"
Sylvie jumped and shook at the same time when she heard his name. Her heart started to thump like it was going to explode, while her whole body went numb for exactly fifteen seconds before she shook it off and hopped out of the car.
She acted like she didn't hear Emily's question and quickly made her way into the firehouse. As soon as she stepped in the door she felt a source of relief and terror.
She walked past Herrmann complaining to Mouch about the increasing costs to operate Molly's and the squad table. Everything seemed...normal. Why did she think it would be any different?
No one had seen her face yet, so she was able to speedily make it through the common room and kitchen. She was hurriedly walking past Boden's office when she heard him call her name out.
"You called for me, Chief." She said from the doorway of his office.
He looked up from his stack of papers and dropped his pen the second his eyes landed on her face.
"Brett, are you…"
"I'm fine, Chief. I just took a little tumble down the stairs. I promise I'm fine to work."
Boden nodded and tried to take in Brett's appearance, "I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry I couldn't get someone to fill in for you this shift."
Brett nodded, "Oh, it's fine. I understand that we're short staffed right now."
Boden got up out of his chair and walked to where he was a couple of feet in front of Brett, who wanted to stay as far as possible from any men, "Brett, did you get your injuries checked out after you fell?"
"No. But, Chief I promise I'm fine."
"I think it would be a good idea if you took Foster and went to Chicago Med after the morning meeting just to get looked at."
Brett was about to object and say that she was fine again, but Boden gave her the look. The look that said do what I say and don't argue. She had heard Severide and Casey mention it many times so she knew exactly what it was.
"Sure, Chief. We'll go after the meeting."
"Thank you," Nodded Boden.
Sylvie grimaced from the amount of pain she was in and was about to turn and leave the room when Boden called out and interrupted her escape.
"Brett?"
"Yes, Chief,"
Boden looked her in the eye and stood up straighter, "Are you sure you're okay?"
Sylvie wanted to break down right then and there, but she couldn't. She couldn't tell anyone. Especially not her Battalion chief. "I'm fine," She whispered, hoping to convince him and herself.
Boden nodded and gave her the look of dismissal.
She had just turned and was walking to the locker room when she bumped into a wall of pure warm muscle. She called out in pain right as the incident happened and jarred all of her already-sore injuries.
"I'm sorry," Started the man as he bent down the ground and started gathering up all of his papers. "That was all my...Sylvie?"
Sylvie threw her eyes down to the floor where the man that bumped into her was gathering papers. It was Matt. She had bumped into Matt Casey.
"It's fine. I gotta change and get ready for shift."
Matt jumped up and stood in front of her blocking her path. "Sylvie, what happened to you. You look awful?"
Sylvie let off a little fake laugh and continued to keep her eyes glued to the ground, "Umm...I'm fine. I took a fall down the stairs after too many drinks but I'm fine."
Matt didn't believe her. The marks on her face, let alone anything else she was hiding under her layers of clothes, screamed anything but okay. "Are you sure? Sylvie, those marks on your face look like someone tried to beat you to death."
He did try that. Thought Sylvie before she shook her head and turned her attention back to Matthew Casey who was busy inspecting her face like he was Severide at OFI. "I'm fine, really. Nothing some Ibuprofen and rest won't fix."
"Sylvie…" Started Matt before Sylvie roughly interrupted him, catching the attention of everyone in the room.
"Casey, I said I'm fine. I'm gonna get checked out after the meeting, but I am fine. So please drop it."
Matt didn't say anything he just stood there shocked and watched her walk off to the locker room.
Sylvie didn't know how she made it to the locker room and into one of the bathroom stalls without breaking down, but she did. She went into the stall, locked it, and fell to the ground.
Now the tears were falling. No, they were barreling down her face. She thought she was going to have a panic attack from the way she was heaving in and out. But, she didn't. She got it under control; she put her uniform on, put more makeup on her face, and braced herself for what was about to come.
She prayed the whole short walk to the meeting room. She prayed that no one would dig into it too much and that they would all just let it go and move on. But, knowing her family, that probably had a snowball's chance in hell of that happening.
When she walked into the room everyone froze. They all stared at her with their eyes and mouths as wide as a baseball.
"Brett, what in the heck happened to you this weekend?" Asked Kidd as she walked closer to her friend and lightly patted her shoulder.
Sylvie grimaced at the close contact before she took a step forward and faked a small laugh she feared she would have to perfect here soon, "Guys, before you all ask, I am fine. I had a few too many drinks the other night and fell down the stairs at our apartment."
Everyone cringed and gave her sympathetic oohs and ahhs at hearing what had happened.
"Maybe you should take it easy on the girly wines," Smiled Herrmann.
Mouch quickly chimed it after Herrmann's comment. "Yeah, we're cutting you off next time you're at Molly's."
"Thanks, guys," Fake laughed Sylvie before she went up front and took her seat next to Foster.
Boden came in a couple of minutes after that and started the meeting. Everyone was listening pretty well to what he was saying...except one fire captain.
Matt just knew something was off with Sylvie. She would hardly look at him the whole time they were speaking. Did she not want to be around him? Did he do something wrong?
He stared at her back the whole meeting. He hadn't heard a word Boden said. All he could think about was Sylvie, how much pain she had to be in, and what she hiding from them all.
The meeting was nearly over before it was interrupted by a call. - ALL RESPOND - HOUSE FIRE ON PIKEVILLE DRIVE - ALL RESPOND
"Let's go! Let's go!" Called Boden as everyone jumped up from the chairs and raced to their vehicles.
Matt tried to catch Sylvie's eyes the whole time he was at the fire truck putting his gear on, but she wouldn't look at him. She wouldn't look at talk to anyone.
"Cap, you ready?" Yelled Stella from the driver's side of the truck as she and everyone else were ready to go and waiting on him
"Let's go!" Yelled Matt as he gave the retreating ambulance one last glance and slid back into captain mode.
The fire was about twenty minutes away for everyone. By the time they all got there, black smoke was billowing out the top of the small house which was enveloped in bright orange flames. Everyone could feel the excruciating heat off the fire once they stepped out of their vehicles.
Neighbors of the small house ran up to Boden and Casey and told them that there was an older lady who lived inside by herself. Everyone knew then that they would have to go in through the clear doorway and perform a search and rescue.
Boden was giving out orders to Herrmann and his crew when Matt looked over and caught Sylvie's eyes. They both shared a very intense staring, glaring, saying goodbye, whatever kind of look you want to call it before he went inside.
Sylvie gelt her breath catch deep in her through when she saw him go into the engulfed furnace. She didn't know why she felt that way though. She had never felt that way about anyone.
They were inside for about seven minutes when Casey and Kidd found the old lady unconscious and trapped under her wheelchair.
"Brett, Foster we got her!" Yelled Kidd as she led Casey, who was carrying the lady out of the house.
Sylvie and Emily were waiting with the gurney and started working on the lady as soon as Matt and Stella made it out.
Matt dropped the lady and put his hand on Sylvie's shoulder to step away and let them work. But after hr did that he and everyone who was standing there noticed the way Sylvie practically jumped out of her skin and shoved his hand off of her shoulder.
To say it was awkward after that would be an understatement. No one knew what to do or say, they all just stood there.
Thankfully though, Foster sensed that she needed to help her friend so she announced that the lady was stable and ready for transport. They loaded her up and made their way to Med shortly after that.
Matt just stood there in the middle of the road staring at the ambulance that got harder and harder to see.
"What was that?" Asks Stella as she walks to stand by her captain.
Matt shakes his head but still doesn't take his eyes off the ambo, "I have no idea, but I'm gonna find out."
Sylvie and Emily were pleased to hear from doctors that the old lady they brought was going to be fine. She hit her head as she fell out of her wheelchair, but there were no serious injuries.
Sylvie was filling out some paperwork at the ER's nurses' station when Emily came up and put her elbow on the desk next to Sylvie's.
"Hey, are you and Casey good?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't we be?" Questioned Sylvie as she kept her eyes focused on the paper and continued writing.
"It just...it got kinda awkward back at that scene."
Sylvie finished her writing and handed the awaiting nurse the form. "Chief wanted me to get a quick medical check this morning."
Emily nodded, "Do you want me to come in with you?"
Sylvie quickly shook her head and followed one of the nurses who had come to take her to a room, "No, I'll be fine."
Emily was going to say something else but Sylvie had already disappeared with the nurse.
The examination takes about thirty minutes. The doctor, a female based on Sylvie's request, looks at all of the bruises and marks Sylvie mentions.
Sylvie felt kinda bad at the end of it because she left out so many injuries to the doctor, like her ribs, her ankle that still hurt but she was able to walk and not limp on, and her hips that were painted purple.
She was thankful though that the doctor agreed and said that she was fine to work.
The ride back to the firehouse between the two girls was eerily quiet. Neither of them said a word. But, as soon as they got back to the house, Sylvie gave Chief the signed medical form that said she was fine to perform all of her duties.
The rest of the shift was a quiet one for everyone at the house. They had a few calls here and there but nothing too bad.
The night though, Sylvie decided was the worst. She tried sleeping in the bunk room with everyone else like she would normally do, but it was too hard. She just couldn't do it knowing that she was all out in the open like that with no door to lock. So, she went to the common room and stayed awake almost all night. She got a few minutes of sleep here and there, but nothing healthy by any means.
Matt watched her get up from her bunk and leave the room. He wanted to follow her, he really did, in fact, he had to force himself to stay glued to his seat. He knew something was wrong. It just was. It wasn't right. Whatever it was, it wasn't right. He was going to help her through it whether she liked it or not.
The next morning everyone was glad to be off so they could enjoy the beautiful fall day. Stella had begged Sylvie and Emily to go to breakfast with her, but Sylvie declined and Emily really wanted to go. So Emily rode with Stella and left her car with Sylvie so she would have a ride home.
Sylvie was sitting in the locker room alone staring at her broken phone screen when she heard footsteps. She quickly turned around and wanted to jump back when she saw Matt standing by the door holding his hands up like she had a gun on him
"Hey, it's just me." He whispered trying to placate her.
Sylvie let out a relieved breath and sat back down.
"Sylvie, what's going on? I know something's wrong. You have been acting weird this whole shift."
Sylvie looked down at the floor and tried to stabilize her shaking hands, "I'm fine."
Matt threw his bag on the ground and immediately regretted it when he did because he saw Sylvie start to tremble and shake with fear.
"Sylvie, please talk to me. Whatever it is I want to help you. I know that you didn't just fall."
Sylvie shook her head and cursed the tears that fell on her face without her permission.
"I'm fine."
"Sylvie, please stop saying that, and tell me the…"
"I was raped."
What did you think!? Again, sorry for any typos, misspellings, or anything like that. I write late at night with no glasses on, lol.
Thanks again for reading and the support!
Stay safe and healthy!
