Chapter 5


'Do not confuse a single rejection, with a final one.'

~Anonymous


"Yes Sir, he wants the schematic design ready by tomorrow." Astrid pulled out a sticky note from the pad and scribbled on it, wedging the phone between her left ear and shoulder. "A sketch or computer rendering? I would ask if he needs one, but I'm not sure of it for now… but he does need a broad description of the plan and requirements. He needs to verify if it is in line with the budget. Alright, sir."

It took an interval of a few seconds before another call rang in. She picked it up without hesitation. "Office of the Chief executive...uhm, yes by three-thirty, right? Yes, I did get your email, and I would send it to him right away."

"Astrid?"

Astrid glanced at Harry who was standing at the entrance of his office, leaning on the door with arms crossed like he'd been watching her for a while. "Sir! Uhm...I was just on the phone with…"

"It's one o'clock. Have you gone out for lunch, yet?"

Astrid gave him a puzzled look. "Uhm, not yet, Sir. I have to set up your meeting with the design development team, and send a few emails to…"

"Did you even have breakfast? You got here by seven."

"I grabbed a bagel and coffee on my way here. I'd intended to…"

"Let it get cold and stale while you work on an empty stomach?" Astrid noticed her untouched breakfast at a corner of her table and bit her lower lip. She knew it wasn't the first time that Harry had noticed that, as breakfast was a meal she never took seriously. "Again?"

She'd been working at Haddock limited for about two weeks and things had been both professional and awkward between them. After dropping off Zia that day, they never had conversations outside work, and she often fled home whenever her shift was over, to avoid talking to him. He'd never given her a second glance whenever she was in his office, always focused on their recent project, and their partnership with investors towards its success. He'd never seem to care about her constant punctuality or neglect to her personal needs, putting all her effort and into her work. She didn't expect him to, considering it was her job anyway. His sudden concern turned out to be an absolute shock to her, not sure of the right response to it.

"Uhm...I guess I...forgot about it."

"And lunch?"

"I'll get it as soon as I send these…" Another call interrupted, and she attended to it immediately, "The office of the.."

Harry took the phone from her. "This is Harry, you can speak directly to me."

Astrid watched him in silence as he went on with the call. She gazed at him when he wasn't looking, a bit curious about his sudden affection towards her. She hadn't worked as a secretary before as it was clearly below her qualification, but was this supposed to be normal? Did bosses care this much about their secretaries? Or was Harry acting like the empath he's always been? And why now? Why did "lunch" suddenly matter to him, when the company was at the vedge of losing their biggest project if they slowed down any further? He might have kept his distance from her for days, but he'd also been watching and studying her, enough to know that she'd been neglecting herself since she got back to work.

He got off the call a lot faster than she ever had, and placed the phone down on her desk, with his attention on her again. "There. I sent everyone out for lunch, so you should definitely do the same."

"It's alright, Sir. I'll order in something right now. I can still get a lot done while…"

"That wasn't a request. It was an order."

Astrid was shocked by his intense look and serious tone that made her rise from the chair she'd been on for four hours, working endlessly and diligently. She instantly picked up her purse, clearing her desk as Harry just watched patiently at the corner.

She looked up at him, wishing she could escape the very awkward silence and moment between them.

"You can go ahead, Sir. I'll meet you at the cafeteria."

"I insist." He gestured towards the exit for her to leave first. "After you."

She walked ahead of him, attempting to keep a sizable distance, but failed as he just caught up with her, the both of them now walking side by side. They headed to the elevator in silence, unable to start up a conversation.

"How's Neil doing?" He suddenly asked, possibly with the intention to lighten the atmosphere. She decided to go along with it, despite their work relationship, they were still friends anyway.

"Neil is doing fine, he keeps asking about his friend with the metal leg." Astrid snickered. "I don't know why he keeps calling you that."

Harry shrugged. "Well, he's still more receptive towards it than most people I meet."

"He really believes it's cool and also wants one for himself. Can you believe that?" Astrid laughed out, with Harry, also laughing in response.

"Please let him know that there is nothing cool about having a metal leg."

"I would, but there's also nothing wrong with having a metal leg either."

"Don't you think it's a bit extreme telling him that? Kids tend to take words seriously."

Astrid crossed her arms over her chest. "Of course I'm not going to tell him to hurt himself to get a metal leg. I just don't want him to look at it as a...disability."

"It is a disability. You don't have to brush off the fact that it is."

Astrid shook her head. "Well, not for me. I just don't think it is."

Harry was mute for a while like her words startled him, before gliding past it to a different topic. "What about his schooling? Did you have any problems settling him in?"

"It's going well. Thanks to you, I didn't have problems with the registration and finished the process quickly. He's been attending school for five days now."

"Five days? Should I feel offended that you didn't care to tell me?"

"Tell you?" Astrid bit her lower lip. "I didn't think that you'd care to know."

"What?" Harry responded, slightly offended as they both got off the elevator to the ground floor, where the company cafeteria was situated. "Why? Because I'm your boss?"

"Uhm...yes?"

"Where exactly did you work in the past? For you to think so low of me because of my position?" Harry kept his pace at her side, even if they approached other employees, also having lunch.

"Oh please Harry, you know most bosses don't care anything non-business related." Astrid suddenly realized the way she addressed him and quickly covered up. "Uhm...Sir, I mean, Sir."

Harry smiled, completely amused. "I warned you. It'll be a little hard to keep that up."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

Astrid tried to ignore the unusual glances from the employees seated at their lunches. She knew Harry's presence in the cafeteria drew the attention, but he didn't seem to care at all. They both made their way towards the spread out buffet, with Astrid following his lead. He seemed to notice her discomfort, and picked up a plate, handing it to her.

Harry leaned in, whispering. "I've never actually been down here before. It's the only reason for the stares."

"You've never been here before?"

"Yup."

"So why did you come down here with me? I could've just placed an order for your meal to be sent to…"

"Well, I decided to make sure, that you did not spend your break at the boardroom setting up my next meeting, and then rush up a sandwich as lunch."

Astrid stared at him in unbelief, trying to focus on the food she was getting into her plate. "How did you know about that?"

"Look, I do appreciate the effort you are putting into your work, but remember Neil. You can only do so much, but you need to also be healthy, for his sake."

"So that's the reason why you left your office to come down here? So that you could babysit me, Harry? Uhmm...I mean, sir?"

Harry smirked, "There you go again."

After a few minutes of self-service, they both headed towards the sitting area, Harry taking the seat directly opposite her. She glanced around nervously at the constant stares towards their direction, also receiving weird looks from the employees.

"Astrid, relax, okay?"

"Okay." She avoided the looks, trying to fix her full focus on her meal, but then also realizing that she was actually having lunch with her ex, with Harry Haddock.

"So, when are you going to come over to tutor Zia for her spelling bee competition?"

"What?"

"Do you go making promises you can't keep?" Harry joked.

"Oh yeah, I did promise to help her study, didn't I?"

"My mum and I have tried our best to help so far, but it seems she really wants you to practice with her. I just hope...it wouldn't be too much trouble for…"

"Don't be silly. Of course, it won't. I would definitely come over this weekend, I promise."

"I insist." Harry's eyes were fixed on hers, making it difficult to hold up her stare. "You are offering help to us, we should come to you for it. We would come over this weekend."

"That's perfect since you do have a date with Heather, right?"

His expression changed instantly at the mention of Heather's name and the atmosphere became awkward again. "Uh...yeah, that's right, I do."

"Great, then you can just drop off Zia then, I'll take care of the rest while you enjoy your date, and your mother has time off babysitting her."

"Just to warn you, my daughter is quite difficult to handle."

"Are we talking about the little sweetheart I met the other day? Harry you…" Astrid stopped again, and he corked his eyebrows, a grin creeping on his face.

"Why don't you just give up the "Sir" thing? At least when it's just us. You're clearly bad at it anyway, so just give it up."

"You're not just my boss, but you also hold the highest rank in this company."

"So?" Harry took a bite of his meal. "But I'm not a stranger to you, we are friends, right?"

"Don't you have any other friends who work for you?" Astrid teased, trying to keep the tension of their conversation. "You seem friendly to your employees."

"Nope. My life is my daughter and my mother. I used to have friends when Camilla was around, but she was better at making and keeping them. By the way, Camilla is my…"

"I know."

As much as he brushed off his anti-social personality, Astrid could feel the hurt in his voice, and see the loneliness in his eyes. He had this same problem as a teenager and it didn't seem like he grew from it. The death of his wife might have worsened it, triggering him shut all doors. But for some reason, she was an exception. She didn't know anything about his late wife, but she knew Harry. She knew how difficult it was to get through him to build a relationship with him, and it only proved how much he loved Camilla and the effect of her absence in his life.

"Well, you're quite lucky to have your daughter with you. She's one smart little girl."

"Yeah?"

"By the way, she now believes you are her Santa clause, so you have to get her everything on her Christmas wish list."

Harry suddenly jolted in reaction to her words, staring fiercely at her with a completely different and intimidating expression. "What do you know about her Christmas wish? Did she tell you anything that day?"

Astrid found his reaction a bit off, trembling to the fact that she might have stepped out of line. "Uhm...she just asked if you would be willing to grant her Christmas wish, and I told her you would, and that all she needed to do was be a good girl throughout the year."

"And what did she say?"

"She did say you weren't willing to grant her wish. I asked her why you wouldn't, and she didn't answer, that was all."

"She didn't tell you what her wish was?"

"No, she didn't. Is there...a problem?"

"Of course not." He tried to cover up with a faint smile that Astrid knew wasn't genuine. "I was just...curious...that's all."


"Daddy, can you help me with my homework?"

"Sure, princess." Harry turned off the soccer game he'd been watching since got back home early, wanting to give his daughter his undivided attention. He picked her up and placed her on his lap, with his arms around her, he held up the textbook, scanning through the contents of the opened page. "So what do we have here?"

"The hundreds chart."

"So you are supposed to count in two's and five's?"

"Yeah."

"So the first number is?"

"Number one." She pointed to the first cell of the table."

"Good, we are going to count in two's now, okay?"

"Okay."

"Start from the first number of the table and count from one to two."

"One, two." She moved her index finger to the second cell.

"Perfect. So two is the first number. What number comes after two?"

"Three."

"That's right. Count from one to two, starting from three."

"One, two. Number four is the next number."

"Great. What number comes after four?"

"Five. One, two. Six is the next number."

"Go on, you're getting it right." Harry watched her count in two's patiently and completely focused, not stopping until she got to the last number hundred, without a single mistake. " He smiled in awe of both her ability to grasp things quickly and her diligence towards her education. She was definitely a reflection of him in this aspect, and he hoped he could let her utilize her skills and talents, and not just pushing her down the same path his father created for him.

"I'm done, daddy!"

"Good job, Zia!" Harry squeezed her into a tight cuddle as she giggled gleefully. "See, it wasn't that hard, was it?"

"It was so easy."

"So do you think you can count in five's for daddy?"

"But I can't…"

"Zia, you can. Say you can do it."

"I can do it," Zia repeated, returning her focus back to the number chart. "Number one is the first number, so I have to count from one to five."

Harry smiled, nodding in approval. "That's right! Go ahead."

Although it took a longer time than her previous attempt, she completed both tasks of her homework, smiling brightly and applauding her effort.

"I did it."

"See? I told you that you can do anything."

"Thank you, daddy."

"You're welcome, sweetheart." Harry planted a kiss in her hair.

"Daddy, is Miss Astrid going to help me with my spelling competition?"

"Of course she will. We are going to visit her this weekend, and you can finally meet her son."

"Neil?"

"Yes, Neil. You can make a new friend too."

"I can't wait! Can I take my toys too? I want to share my toys with him."

"Sure. He would love to play with your toys." Harry said brushing her hair from her face. "Zia?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you believe Santa clause is real?"

"No. I know it's you who has been putting my presents under the Christmas tree."

Harry laughed. "What are you talking about? That was Santa clause."

"You're lying, daddy. I know you're lying."

"Alright. I put your presents under the tree, but Santa gave them to me to give to you."

"You're still lying."

"Fine. I got your presents. Did I get everything on your list last year?"

"Yes, dad."

"Do you think I can get you everything this year?"

Zia went silent, causing Harry's heart to break into a million pieces. His mother was right, his daughter had definitely seen a large fraction of his pain that he should've have hidden from her. Despite her age, she was smart enough to know that he was lonely, but at the same time did not want to replace her mother. He'd seen her list, and it only held one wish, a wish that he just couldn't grant her, at least not this year.

"I don't know."

"Why don't you give me your list and see if I can get your presents."

"Well, it's not Christmas yet."

"Then how can you be so sure that I won't grant your wish if you don't tell me?"

"Are you sure you will grant my wish, daddy?" Zia looked at him with profound sadness in her eyes that killed him. He held back tears wishing he could take all her pain away, wishing he could give her the love of a mother. His unconditional love for her just wasn't enough to fill and play that huge role that Camilla left behind, and the least he could do was put in the effort to change that. If not for himself, for the sake of his daughter.

"Listen to me, Zia. I would grant your Christmas wish, okay? Whatever it is, don't think I won't, or can't, because I love you, and I'm willing to do anything to make you happy."

She wrapped her little arms around his neck, leaning in for a hug and he held her close and tight. "I love you too, daddy."


"You're going to break up with him?!"

"I have to, Astrid. I met someone else whom I have a better connection with, besides, I wasn't sure of where our relationship was headed." Heather placed her detangling brush down amongst the clutter of cosmetic and makeup items on the vanity dresser.

Astrid snorted. "Let me guess, he didn't make his feelings clear to you?"

"Exactly! Like how was I supposed to know what his intentions were?"

"Yup, that is Harry alright. Nothing is ever simple with him."

Heather squealed out of joy in reaction to her statement, as Astrid cringed, realizing what she'd just unconsciously blurted out. "So Harry is your ex-boyfriend!"

"I never said that."

"Just admit it, already! You both dated in the past, right?"

"Alright, fine! We dated in Sophomore year of high school, are you satisfied?"

"Then what happened?" She suddenly let down her hair from the ponytail she'd attempted to put up, with her attention now on Astrid.

"Life happened." Astrid folded the dry clothes which she'd just taken out from the laundry.

"I didn't understand his intentions because he never made it clear, he left, and I moved on."

"Whoa...so you both have this spicy history together? Well, that explains why you've both been so awkward towards each other." Heather said, causing Astrid to roll her eyes. "And you've kept me in the dark all this while? I shouldn't have gone out with him in the first place."

"Why not?"

"Because he is your ex! It's against our friendship code."

"It's not your fault, we only found out after he asked you out."

"You mean after his mother asked me out."

"But that is not reason enough to break up with him, Heather." Astrid replied, "He's really trying to move on from his wife, this is just going to hurt him even more."

"So should I take advantage of that when I really don't feel anything for him? He has loved and lost, and it would be cruel for me to give him the hope of a second chance when it's not true."

"Heather…"

"Believe me, the right woman who would love him and his daughter would come, but it's just not me. I really need to tell him that."

"You're right, I'm sorry, it's just...that little girl, she deserves the love of a mother."

"I know." Heather looked down, almost in tears. "But I can't give her that, Astrid. I can't."

"Okay, then tell him. The earlier you do, the easier it would be for him to handle it."

"Mummy?" Neil walked into the room. "Are they here yet?"

"Well, someone's more excited to meet my date than I am." Heather laughed as Neil walked towards Astrid who had her arms opened to hold him.

"They'll be here soon, honey. Why are you in a rush? Because you want to play with Zia?"

"Yeah."

"She's coming over Neil, just wait a little longer, okay?"

"Okay, mummy."

"Thanks for the laundry, Astrid. I baked cookies and banana bread when you went grocery shopping." Heather twisted her hair gently into a side braid. "That should keep the kids happy."

"That's also a lot of sugar, I'm sure it would make my job easier."

Heather laughed, "So, how do I look?"

Astrid glanced at her outfit. Unlike before, she had a plain black flay gown, less jewellery and makeup, and hair down in a side braid across her shoulders. "Wow, you look…"

"I look, what? Like I'm about to attend a burial ceremony?"

"No, silly. You look simple but beautiful. It's a nice change from the over the top Heather."

"Well, I discovered that since I'm breaking hearts tonight, I might as well dress for it."

"Funny, simple girls do not break hearts, Heather." Astrid picked up her son, settling him on her right hip. "Complicated girls like you do."

"I'm not complicated, you are. You are so difficult. You like something, but you hesitate. You cage up your feelings to avoid getting hurt, but hurting is a part of loving, Astrid."

"Whoa whoa whoa, my young innocent three-year-old son is listening to you."

Neil broke into a loud crackle, making Astrid and Heather join him. "I need to stop underestimating the power of this young man's senses. He's already heard a whole a lot in just three weeks."

"And he just keeps laughing about it" Astrid tapped under his chin and wrapped her hands around him. "Don't you dare grow up to be a heartbreaker, Neil."

"What's that, mummy?"

"I'll explain when you're older, okay?"

"Okay." The loud doorbell interrupted, and created an instant panic in both Heather and Astrid.

Neil exclaimed in joy. "They're here, mummy! They're here!"

Heather grabbed her purse, taking a final look at the mirror, while Astrid headed towards the door. "Are you sure this is fine? Or should I change into…"

"You want to change now?! Heather, that is fine! You look great, just hurry, I'll get the door."

"Mummy, let's hurry." Neil tugged on her arm to answer the doorbell. She headed out of Heather's bedroom and into the living room towards the front door. Taking a peep through the little spyglass on the door, she saw Harry with his daughter Zia beside him, her hand in his.

Astrid took in a deep breath and swallowed hard before opening the door for them.

"Miss Astrid!" Zia exclaimed, and he rushed to hug Astrid, wrapping her hands around her waist.

"Hi, Zia!" Astrid set Neil down towards Harry's open arms, and lifted her up, giving her a big embrace. "I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too, Miss Astrid."

"Neil, look, it's your friend you always ask about."

"Mr Harry?"

"Come on, big boy. You remembered my name?"Harry asked after he scooped him up into his arms. "That's really impressive."

"Yeah, my mummy and aunt Heather talk about you all the time."

"Neil!" Astrid shrieked, wishing she could vanish from the awkwardness of that situation at that instant. This was the reason why she didn't like having such conversations with Heather in her son's presence. He was a child, but he was also growing up.

Harry gave her a sly smile that she wished she could slap off his face. "Really?"

"That's not true. I mean he's just…"

"Astrid, it's alright. He's just a kid, I know."

"Miss Astrid, my daddy said you're going to help me with my spelling bee competition."

"Of course, Zia. I promised you, didn't I?"

"Yeah."

"Did you bring your flashcards?"

"Yeah. It's in my backpack."

"Good, then we are going to practice together."

"How are you doing, Neil? I heard you started going to school."

"Yeah, to the same school as Zia," Neil replied, pointing to Zia.

"Really? I didn't know that." Harry smiled at Astrid who giggled in response. "That's great."

"Zia, you didn't say hi to Neil, you were so excited to meet him," Harry called out.

"Hi, Neil! My name is Zia." Zia reached out her hand towards him. Neil also stretched his hand towards her's, both children sharing a friendly handshake.

"I know your name. Nice to meet you, Zia."

"Nice to meet you too."

Astrid noticed the bag hung up on Harry's shoulder. "What's that for?"

"Toys. It turns out she's a little more generous than I expected."

Astrid laughed. "She clearly got that from you."

Harry gave her the exact same expression that he'd given when she'd refused to agree to his prosthetic leg being a disability. The mixed emotion of surprise and confusion, like he had never expected any nice words from her, meeting her again. It made her wonder if he thought that she was still that same girl who betrayed him years ago.

"Uhm...sorry for leaving you guys out here. Let's go inside." She quickly covered up, ignoring his stare. "Heather is waiting for you, Harry."

"Astrid? Is he here? Is there a problem?" She overheard Heather's voice from a close distance, heading towards the door, probably wondering why it took so long to usher them in.

"Oh, he is here."

Harry noticed her presence after closing the door behind him. "Heather, wow...you look...beautiful."

"Different?"

"Different, but beautiful."

"Come on Neil, Mr Harry has to leave with aunt Heather."

"Can I go with them, mummy?"

Astrid looked at Harry, then at Heather. "I thought you wanted to play with Zia? Look, she got a lot of toys for you to play with."

"Stay with us Neil, we can play with my toys," Zia said.

"Neil, I have to leave with aunt Heather, okay? I'll be back and I promise to get you something." Harry said, with Neil still in his arms. "What do you want, Neil?"

"Harry, you don't have to…"

"Can you ride a bicycle, Neil?"

"No, I don't have a bicycle."

"Do you want me to get you one?"

Neil glanced at Astrid with the brightest smile she'd ever seen on her son. Although he was very excited, he still looked to his mother for approval. She nodded returning the smile, as she still held onto Zia, who was settled on her right hip.

"With training wheels?" He exclaimed.

"Yes, with training wheels, so that your mummy can teach you to ride it."

"Yes! I want a bike, Mr Harry!"

"Okay then, I will get you a bike, Neil."

"Promise?"

"I promise." Astrid smiled uncontrollably, amazed at the sudden bond Neil seemed to be having with Harry. It was the last thing she'd expected bumping into her ex after so many years. She wanted to be happy, but a part of her was jealous at the fact that she'd never been able to make Neil that happy, despite all her efforts as his mother. It was a different kind of happiness, the one that she could never give him.

"Would you go to mummy now? While I go get your bike?"

Neil nodded and leaned towards Astrid with his arms wide open. Astrid took him gently, placing him on her left hip, surprised at her strength to hold both kids at a time.

"Goodbye, Neil. I'll see you when I get back." Heather waved.

"Bye, Aunt Heather."

"Goodbye, Daddy!"

"Bye, sweetheart. Study well, okay? Remember you promised to win the competition."

"I will, dad."

"Bye Astrid, thanks again for agreeing to do this."

"Of course. You two go ahead, we'll be fine here."


"Wow, we are eating at Melisse?" Heather didn't seem pleased when he pulled up to one of the most sophisticated and expensive restaurants in Beverly hills. Harry had expected quite a different reaction from her, probably because he'd judged her to be an extravagant person, someone who would be a bit comfortable in his world.

"Is there a problem? You don't like this restaurant?"

"Our last date was at Spago, and I did peek into the bill when you went to the bathroom."

Harry snorted, trying to cover up the fact that he was already tensed in fear of messing up the second date, especially when he'd ruined the first. "So?"

"You spent over two hundred dollars on a date, Harry. If that is normal for you, then pardon me for being concerned."

Girls. What exactly did they want? Who complains about a night at Spago?

"I'm sorry, it's just that I don't know what you're used to, and I thought…"

"Harry, it's okay. There's no reason to apologise. Let's just do something different for a change."

Harry gave her a puzzled look. "Like?"

"Like, see a movie? Grab a burger? Hang out at the park. It doesn't have to be formal all the time." Heather replied, "This time we can just be ourselves, don't you think?"

"Well, if you say so. I'll just cancel our reservation." Harry took out his phone, completely stressed about making his relationship with Heather work. He hadn't been interested at the start, but his discussion with Zia the night before and his promise to her served as a driving force to take things seriously, to break out of his comfort zone to actually build his relationship with Heather. It was out of his will but was worth it.

"What movie would you like to see?"

"You decide, and I'll be down for it."

"Alright then. I'm sorry you had to cancel the reservation."

"That's not a problem." Harry gave her a warm smile, "What matters is that you enjoy the day."

"She returned the smile, making him relax a bit. "I'm with you, of course, I will."


"Machine."

"M-a-c...h-i-n-e. Machine."

"Very good, Zia!" Astrid flipped the flashcard to the next one, "Spell Camera."

"C-a-m-e-r-a. Camera."

"Great! This is the last one. Spell government."

"Uhm…"

"Come on, you can do it."

"G-o-v-m?"

"Try again, you can do it, Zia. Go-vern-ment." She pronounced slowly to make it easier for her.

"G-o...vern...v...e...r...n?" She looked up at Astrid who nodded in approval edging her on.

"That's it, go on. Government."

"M-e-n-t?"

"You got it!" Astrid cheered, "Here, give me a hug. You're so smart."

Zia crawled towards her open arms, and Astrid held her in a tight hug. "Can I have cookies now, Miss Astrid?"

"Of course. You did great." She got up from where they were seated, with Zia in her arms, "Neil! Come on, mummy wants to give you cookies!"

Neil raced into the kitchen from his room where he'd been playing with Zia's toys, jumping in excitement. Astrid placed Zia on a barstool at the kitchen counter, and picked Neil up, setting the air pipe that rested beneath his nostrils he'd almost taken off while playing.

"I've told you to stop running, Neil. You're gonna run out of breath."

"Sorry, mummy."

"Why does he have that, Miss Astrid? Is he okay?"

"Uhm, he's okay Zia, he just needs that to breathe better."

"It's because I'm always sick." Neil suddenly mumbled, Astrid's heart dropping at that instant.

"Don't say that Neil, you're not always sick."

"Then why do we always go to the hospital?"

"But I promised you, we aren't going back there. Don't you trust mummy?"

"I do."

Astrid ran her fingers through his hair, struggling to hold in her tears. "Don't ever say that again, okay? You're not sick, aren't you my strong boy?"

"I am."

"That's right, don't forget it." Astrid set out the pan of freshly baked cookies. She tried to ignore the soaring pain from the effect of Neil's words. "So, who wants cookies?!"

"Me, me me!" Both Neil and Zia yelled, throwing their hands in the air.

Astrid laughed, "Alright, here you go." She placed some cookies in a disposable plate amongst the kids and watched them dig right in without hesitation. "Is it good?"

"Yes. It's really good." Zia agreed with a nod.

"Does your mummy make cookies too, Zia?" Neil suddenly asked.

"No, I don't have a mother, Neil." Zia gave the reply that startled Astrid, making her stare at the girl in shock. "That's why I wished to have a mummy for Christmas."

She looked up at Astrid to meet her blank stare. "You were right, Miss Astrid. My daddy said he was going to grant my Christmas wish."

"Was that...what you wished for?"

"Yeah, and I'm going to get one."

It all made sense to her now, the reason why mentioning her Christmas wish had triggered an intense reaction from Harry. She had raised false hopes within his daughter unconsciously, and frankly, Harry had a lot of self-control to have been so calm about it. It meant that Harry was hoping for a better outcome from his relationship with Heather than she was willing to give him, and she wished she could've talked her out of it.

Watching how her eyes lit up with the joy of a new mother brought flashbacks. She understood the pain of growing up without a mother, although it was a bearable experience, it was also something she never wished for any child, especially Zia. It made her wonder if Neil sometimes wished for the presence of a father in his life, especially seeing the bond he'd already formed with Harry.

"Your daddy loves you so much, so he would definitely get you one."

"I know."


"Is this your first time at Grand park? You look dazed."

"Not really, I've been here a few times with my daughter." Harry replied, still not able to shake off the tension between them. "I've just never been here on a date."

Heather found his reaction amusing, "When was the last time you were on a date, Harry?"

"Uhm...a very long time ago."

"Is that why you feel so awkward? Just relax, it's okay."

He swallowed, trying to focus on the kids at a distance with their parents, playing on the slides and swings, the part of the park that he was used to, during his visits with Zia. He didn't understand why he couldn't loosen up towards Heather, despite his efforts. It was like their bad start had taken a toll on their relationship journey, thanks to his mother.

"I know I'm bad at this, but I just hope that you would give us a chance to get better at it."

Heather's reaction was a lot different than what he'd expected. It didn't seem like she was on board with his idea. "There is...something I need to tell you, Harry."

"What is it?"

"I know that we started this out clueless on where we were going with it, and I do appreciate your effort to make it work but Harry…" Heather turned to face him, "I don't think I am the right woman for you."

Harry's eyes widened. "What?"

"I...I can't be with you, because...I just don't feel the same way."

"Did I...do something wrong?"

Heather took his hand in hers. "No, Harry, you're an amazing guy, every girl's dream. I love your passion and commitment towards your daughter, and I know you would find a woman that would love you both, but...it's not me."

Harry gazed at her, in silence. He wasn't shocked about her rejection, considering he'd expected it from the start. What woman would be willing to love a disabled single father? It was what he'd been trying to tell his mother in the first place.

"Is this because of...my past with...Astrid?"

"What?"

"I'm just wondering if it's because we had a…"

"No, it's not that." Heather replied, "She never had a problem with us. It's just me."

"I'm sorry for assuming that…"

"It's okay...What happened between you both? Did you have a crush on her in high school that she wasn't aware of? She really does not like talking about you. Why?"

Of course, she didn't. She knew she'd been wrong. She knew that she hurt him, and that was something she wouldn't be proud of, or want to talk about.

Harry rubbed the back of his neck. "She was...my first love."

Heather's lips curled into a smile. "Really?"

"Yeah, but it was a one-sided thing so it didn't matter anyway."

"Why was it one-sided? Did she have a boyfriend already at that time?"

"She did, but that wasn't the problem." Harry sighed, getting really uncomfortable with revisiting his past with Astrid. "The problem was that...I wasn't good enough."

"What? That doesn't sound like Astrid."

"It doesn't, because she's a lot different now. Honestly, I'm still adjusting to that difference."

Heather gave him a quizzical glance. "I might not know what she was like before, but I'm sure of one thing. She's an amazing person. She's so strong, selfless and devoted to the people she loves. She's been through a lot, but she's willing to neglect herself for the sake of her son."

"About her son…"

"Yeah?"

"I don't mean to pry, but... do you know...what happened to his father?"

"I do." She replied. "But that's a question you'd have to ask her if you're curious."

"Oh."

"And Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"Try to see Astrid for who she is right now...and not who she was."

Heather was right. Despite the significant and positive change in Astrid, her genuine passion for her work and son. Despite the fact that she really cared for his daughter, setting out time, even as a mother, to take care of her. But still, he still let that cloud of prejudice blind him from appreciating her efforts to the point that even Heather noticed it. It could also be the reason why she'd been overworking herself, as a way to change that prejudice, and he wasn't being fair to her.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Yes it is, and even she knows."