Sorry it took so long to write this. Thank you to people who reviewed.
"Nagisa.." Karma gasped out, his eyes fixed on the small figure before him. Her hair may be tied up, and she may be wearing a male school uniform but Karma would recognise his first love anywhere. He'd seen her in his dreams almost every night for seventeen years. As he stared at her, everything else seemed to fall away. The things that didn't matter; The street, the cars, his brother all standing right next to him faded away and suddenly the only thing that existed was Karma and Nagisa standing opposite him.
Nagisa was staring back at him, a confused expression on her face. Her blue eyes were wide and darting between Karma and his brother. Karma wanted to reassure her.. let her know it was all okay because somehow he had gotten her back, through some miracle he and Nagisa could be together again. This was all so surreal. Ignoring how his head was suddenly spinning from shock and intoxication, Karma took a few steps forward, stumbling towards Nagisa. If I can just touch her.. If I can just know she's real.. It'll all be okay.
Nagisa backed away slightly as he approached her, a concerned expression on her face, Karma wasn't deterred however he reached out his hand to just touch her, when he suddenly felt his head spin violently. He lurched forwards, his vision blurring before fading to black.
No!
Just let me touch her, please! Let me know She's real!
Karma was sure he was the youngest person at Nagisa's wake. practically the whole school would be attending to funeral but Karma was the only child who was close enough to Nagisa and her family to attend this particularly intimate gathering. Karma had been to Nagisa's house countless times while the two of them were growing up, he knew it almost as well as his own. But right now, this place no longer felt like Nagisa's house, because Nagisa wasn't here.
Well. That's not entirely true. Karma couldn't help but think, glancing over at the coffin that sat in the middle of the living room. He quickly looked away.. No.. the thing in there wasn't Nagisa, not really. Karma hadn't looked inside the coffin yet because that would make it real.. Part of him still clung to the hope that the person inn the coffin wasn't Nagisa.. they'd just pulled the wrong person out the river. This was one huge misunderstanding. But Karma knew once he looked at the body that illusion would be shattered.
The house was full of grownups in stiff black suits and black dresses, all of them murmuring quietly amoungst themselves as if they dare not make any sort of disturbance for fear of waking a monster. It made the whole atmosphere even worse, it was stilted somehow and tense, it made Karma's stomach churn with nerves. Even Karma's parents were making an effort to be forcibly civil with each other for the occasion, which was amazing in itself considering they'd done nothing but argue for the past few months and his mother had filed for divorce.
His father, dressed in his now too-tight old wedding tux was talking in a low voice with Nagisa's father, while Karma's mother was busying herself in the kitchen by making endless cups of tea for people. She wore an ill-fitting blazer to disguise her growing baby bump, as if she thought making it evident she was expecting a child when Hiromei had just lost one would be offensive.
Speaking of Hiromi.. Karma hadn't seen her all day.. but he had heard her wails from upstairs.
Nagisa wouldn't want this.. ! And it isn't even Nagisa in that coffin, I know it! Karma convinced himself. He stood up, planning on leaving. He'd go back to the river and find the real Nagisa. She was probably just lost somewhere and wondering why nobody was coming to find her. Karma could almost visualize her sat cold and lonely on a riverbank somewhere waiting for him to come save her. Karma went to head out the door to the foyer, but stopped in his tracks when Nagisa's mother was suddenly stood in front of him. She wasn't a tall woman, in fact she was about the same height as the twelve year old Karma, but in that moment, she appeared to loom over him.
She looked awful. Her skin was waxy and her normally immaculate hair looked thin and even patchy, her eye brows were almost non-existent, as if they'd been plucked down to the thread bears. The palms of her hands were calloused and full of cuts and scabs, Karma knew it was from over washing them. Hiromei had always taken care of her figure, but she'd clearly put on weight, her stomach looked swollen, although her face looked drawn as if she had aged ten years. But the thing that Karma noticed the most was her expression.
Her lips (dry, and cracked from biting) were drawn firmly in a line. Her blue eyes were wide and held an undercurrent of grief and madness, as if she were on the brink of falling apart.
"Mrs Shiota.." Karma started to say. He hadn't spoke to her since the police station a few weeks ago. He had no idea what to say, and for perhaps the first time in his life he felt too scared to speak.
"Karma." She said, sounding as if it was taking all her effort to keep her voice even. "Leaving already? Is the wake of my only daughter boring you?"
"No- I- " Karma stuttered, suddenly feeling younger than his 12 years. Suddenly his explanation about finding the 'real' Nagisa sounded incredibly stupid. Nagisa's mother grabbed his upper arm harshly.
"Before you leave, you should at least pay your respects too Nagisa. My only daughter." Hiromei said, suddenly pushing Karma towards the coffin. In a blind panic, Karma tried to pull away but for some reason he felt unable to use his full strength.
"No.. No.. please." He begged. He didn't want to see. He didn't want to have to see Nagisa like that but Hiromei kept dragging him closer and now, other people were looking at the commotion, Karma felt the looks of Nagisa's family members boring into him, accusing him. He looked at his father pleadingly, silently begging the man to come and save him. His father only returned his silent plea with a disapproving look that seemed to say Stop Embarrassing me by making a fuss. Karma felt a stab of betrayal.
"You should see this, Karma. You should see what you did to her! What you did to my Nagisa!" Hiromei said, her voice raising to a shriek. Her uncut nails were digging into Karma's forearm now through his blazer jacket, tears of guilt and panic stung his eyes. Karma hadn't cried in front of grown ups for years, he always felt far too old and too mature for that. But right now he couldn't help it.
"Hiromei, please, he's just a child." One of Nagisa's aunt's said, placing a reassuring hand on Hiromei's shoulder. Hiromei shook her off agressively.
"MY NAGISA was a child!" Hiromei screamed, still dragging Karma towards to coffin. "And now she's dead because of him!"
The room went silent. Nobody dared argue with a mother in mourning. Karma felt himself being pushed into the coffin and felt suddenly sick to his stomach.
"I- It's not my fault.. I didn't mean for this to happen.." Karma murmured more to himself than anyone else. Hiromei didn't even acknowledge it. She simply grabbed the boy by his chin, forcing him to look into the coffin. Karma wanted to look away, but something forze him place.
It was Nagisa in the coffin. Her eyes were closed but she looked too unnaturally still to be sleeping. She had garish pink bows in her hair, and was wearing a childish frilly pink dress, the type she despised but her mother loved. Her skin tone didn't look entirely natural, Karma realized that the undertaker had likely put makeup on her to disguise how deathly pale she was. The body was slightly bloated (from the drowning) adding to the disturbing look of it. Her eyes and mouth were glued shut.
A powdery perfume smell wafted from the coffin that was clearly used to disguise the scent of death. None of Nagisa's normal warmth emitted from the casket. She was ice cold. Karma opened his mouth to scream, but nothing came out.
Karma's eyes snapped open as soon as he woke up. His breathing was ragged and his heart hammered in his chest. He felt cold sweat trickle down the back of his neck. A dream.. Just a dream. Of a memory that really happened.
"Finally, you're awake. I was starting to think I'd have to douse you in cold water you crazy drunk." Gakushuu said. He was sat on a white arm chair opposite Karma. karma blinked, taking in his surroundings; He was lying on the sofa in his mother's house.. He'd recognise this boring decor anywhere. "What's wrong with you? Aren't you almost thirty? You're too old to be getting yourself so drunk you pass out in the middle of the street. You're lucky Father isn't here.."
"Well he's not my father, is he kid?" Karma retorted, suddenly aware of the pounding headache and churning stomach ache he was experiencing. Damn hangover. He pulled himself into sitting position, trying to remember how he'd gotten into this situation. Oh shit! Yeah! "Wait! Where is Nagisa? I know I saw her!"
"Her? you mean him. Nagisa is male. After you embarrassed yourself by passing out in the middle of the street, Nagisa was kind enough to help me drag your sorry self into the house before he had to leave." Gakushuu said, crossing his arms. Something about the tone of his voice made Karma think he would of preferred to leave his brother outside. Gakushuu pulled out a small piece of paper from his sleeve. "I don't know what's really going on between you two, but Nagisa left his details for you. He told me to tell you that he'd meet up with you tomorrow and 'explain everything', whatever that means."
Karma stood up off the sofa, feeling the world lurch, he took the piece of paper off Gakushuu, scanning it. It had a mobile phone number, and an address underneath it. This address was- Impossible! Kamra re-read it, recognising the street name as the one he'd grown up on. But not just that.. the Address written on the paper was of the house next to his childhood home. Nagisa's house. Even after all this time he hadn't forgotten it. All of this was so impossible! How could it be real? Time travel? re-incarnation? This Nagisa not only had the same name and face as his Nagisa, but lived in the same house? How? Did magic really exist? What if Hiromei had somehow resurrected her daughter? But then why did he claim to be male?
"Whatever this is, it best not be anything illegal- I don't want my reputation tarnished because of your foolish actions." Gakushuu said sternly, breaking Karma out of his train of thought. "You do know he's only the same age that I am."
"So what.. like twelve?" Karma said, unable to resist the urge to tease his brother. Gakushuu scowled.
"Sixteen! I'm sixteen!" He huffed. Pretending not to know his age annoyed Gakushuu as much now as when Karma used to do it when Gakushuu was five. Gakushuu's short fuse was one of Karma's favourite things about him, if only because it had always made it incredibly easy for Karma to annoy his brother.
"Are you sure? You still look like a kid to me." Karma said, pretending to look Gakushuu up and down.
"I'm almost as tall as you! I'm going to be a senior next year!" Gakushuu ranted. Karma just laughed, feeling some of the tension that had built up in his body from his nightmare disappear.
"You'll always be a baby to me." Karma said, sitting back on the sofa. He wanted to drive to Nagisa's address right now, but logically he knew he was too drunk for that so he shoved those thoughts to the back of his head. "Anyway, make your big brother some tea- he has a killer hangover."
"And who's fault is that? Make your own tea." Gakushuu said dismissively, storming out the room. Believe it or not, Gakushuu was usually a calm and collected person, but something about his brother managed to piss him off. He thought back to the conversation he'd had with Shiota before he'd left;
"Why is my brother so preoccupied with you?" Gakushuu asked as he hauled the unconscious Karma over the threshold to the house. Nagisa, who had hold of Karma's legs simply shrugged.
"I- I don't really know." Nagisa replied. Gakushuu narrowed his eyes as he detected a lie.
"If you say so." Gakushuu said, keeping hold of Karma's upper body as he carried him into the living room. This whole situation was strange and he didn't like it. "If you're lying, the truth will come out eventually."
"What type of person is Karma?" Nagisa asked, seemingly attempting to change the subject. Well, that took Gakushuu by surprise. Nagisa averted his blue eyes. "Sorry if it seems like I'm prying."
"Karma is.. He's sort of.. " Gakushuu started, trying to think of the right words to describe his brother. "Karma has always hated me for as long as I can remember, and truth me told I've grown to greatly dislike him. He's smart, but he always seems to waste it on frivolous pursuits, he doesn't care anything about the families reputation and he always puts himself first. He's forever arguing with our parents and causing trouble. He's a little better now he's an adult but he still always tries to piss me off... "
Gakushuu cut himself off when he realised that he was ranting. Nagisa looked deep in thought as if he were mulling over Gakushuu's words.
"Why do you care about what type of person he is, anyway?"
"Just curious." Nagisa lied.
I know I said the truth about Nagisa would be revealed in this chapter but it ended up being longer than I planned, but I plan on putting the next chapter out soon. Although there was a pretty big hint about who this Nagisa is in this chapter, if you squint.
Please review for more!
