Karma didn't have to check any maps or gps to make his way to Nagisa's house. He had lived next door to that house for the first twelve years of his life, the route was etched onto his heart.

As he drove there, heart-hammering in his chest, he was starting to regret not bringing any booze to settle his nerves a little. But even he wasn't stupid enough to drink and drive, plus after the show he made of himself last time, he didn't want to give Nagisa any more reason to think he was a raging alcoholic.

He was going to see Nagisa. He could hardly even believe this was real; Nagisa who had been dead for 16 years, Nagisa who was supposed to only exist in Karma's dreams.

He pulled up to the house, feeling as if he had departed from reality. Nagisa's house. Right next to his old house.

Karma's old house looked different than he remembered; there was a new extension, and the new owners had replaced the grass of the front garden with flagstones. But the Shiota house hadn't changed at all; still the same white and blue paint-job, the same neat row of pansy flowers and roses. It was like it had been frozen in time.

Steeling his nerves, Karma got out of his car and walked over to the front door. On closer inspection, the house was different; it looked a little more worn down, the paint faded, the wood of the decking chipped. With trepidation, Karma lifted his hand and rang the doorbell. The familiar tune that he had heard countless times in his childhood started to chime.

What if he was wrong? What if someone he had never met Nagisa at all and it was all some sort of delusion? Nagisa was supposed to be dead, wasn't she? How could this possibly be?

The sound of footsteps from inside the house. Karma's heart was racing. Part of him wanted to run back to his car an drive off, but he stayed rooted to the spot.

The door swung open, and stood in front of him was Nagisa.

Karma felt as if the air had been knocked out of his chest. Suddenly, he couldn't breath. It really was her. "Nagisa- " he said, his words feeling thick in his mouth. "I got the message you gave to Gakushuu. You said to meet you here.. that you would explain everything."

"Yeah. Thanks for coming." Nagisa said. She (he?) was dressed decidedly boyish, in a pair of baggy jeans and a blue T-shirt. "Please. Come in- "

Karma followed Nagisa inside the house, and was once again taken aback by just how little the house had changed. It was still decorated with Hiromei Shiota's familiar flare; ostentatious lace was draped over everything, there was a doilie over almost every surface. The flowery wall-paper and white carpet was the exact same, as were the curtains and many fragile ornaments and decorations. There was something suffocatingly delicate about it.

"This place hasn't changed at all." He murmured as he followed Nagisa through the house, following the familiar route to the other's bedroom.

Nagisa's bedroom, at first glance, was also exactly how he remembered it, all soft pinks and powdery blues. Karma remembered Nagisa had been begging her mum for months to let her redecorate it into something 'more grown up'. The exact same teddy-bears and dolls still lined the shelves, staring at Karma with accusing glassy eyes. Karma had lost track of how much time he'd spent in this room as a kid.

But on closer inspection, there were a few incongruent details that had not been there in the room Karma remembered; a small sonic ninja poster over the bed, a pile of shounen manga series on the shelf, a games console plugged into the TV.

"Well." Nagisa said, turning to face him, those blue eyes locking onto his. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions. I do to."

"Nagisa. How are you alive?" The words spill out of Karma's mouth before he can stop them. "You're supposed to be dead.. I saw your body, Nagisa, so how can you be here in front of me?"

Nagisa sighed and looked down. "I'm not the Nagisa you knew." He said. "Nagisa- the first Nagisa- was my elder sister who died before I was born."

Karma felt as if the floor had fallen out underneath him as that tiny, absurd hope he had felt was squashed.

"W- What? How can that be? You're identical." Karma gasped out, knowing he was sounding crazy. "You have the exact same name and face and voice- It has to be something more than that. How can you just be her brother- you don't even look like a boy!"

Nagisa flinched at Karma's words. "I'm telling the truth." He said. "I was named after her and my mum just treats me like her replacement.. worse than that.. she acts like my sister never died and I'm her. So I don't even know anything about her because my parents don't acknowledge that she's someone separate from me..."

Karma took in the other's words. For the first time since laying eyes on this Nagisa, he began to notice certain tiny details; like how his mannerisms and speech patterns were decidedly more.. boyish.. than the Nagisa he knew. How the expression on this Nagisa's face; one twisted in frustration and grief, was not one he could imagine on his Nagisa.

"You really are different people, aren't you?" Karma breathed out. "I'm sorry about how I've been acting. You must think I'm crazy."

"Well. Maybe a little." Nagisa laughed, seeming revealed that Karma had accepted the truth. "But you were good friends with my sister, right? There's a ton of pictures of the two of you in her memory box, and she wrote about you all the time in her diary- "

"-Nagisa had a diary?"

"Yeah, she didn't write a lot in it." Nagisa said. "But I've been wanting to meet you for a long time- my sister's best friend- because I thought you were the only person who could tell me about my big sister and about what happened. I feel like my whole life has been built on a lie.."

"Are you sure you want to know about what happened?" Karma asked. He was still coming to terms with this situation, still trying to orientate it in his mind. So this kid in front of him, was called Nagisa, but wasn't his Nagisa, he was her little brother, who had been raised to basically become Nagisa's clone. "It isn't a nice story."

"I figured.. but I need to know." Nagisa said. "I don't know anything about what happened to my sister; about how she died, even how old she was..."

"Nagisa- your sister- she drowned." Karma said, feeling his stomach twist just from saying it out-loud. "When we were twelve. Sixteen years ago."

Nagisa blinked, taking in the information. "I'm sorry I made you remember something painful." He said. Karma shook his head.

"It's fine." He said through gritted teeth. He looked into Nagisa's blue eyes, and before he could stop himself, the words came tumbling out. "It was my fault it happened."

"..What?"

"My mum had just had an affair and was leaving my Dad for the Bastard who had gotten her pregnant." Karma explained. "So my Mum was going to take me and move into another neighbourhood. Nagisa and I couldn't stand to be apart, so we made an idiotic plan to run away together." He paused. He had relayed this story out-loud only once, sixteen years ago, to a police-man.

"So, we packed our bags and went into the forest behind our house, the one we always used to play in. We were stupid enough to think we could- I don't know- live off the land." He took another deep breath.

"So by the start of the second night, we're pretty hungry cold and miserable. Nagisa wants to go back, but I say that we can keep going. We get into an argument. She ran off, and I tried to follow her, but it's dark and rainy and I loose track." Another deep breath. "I get back home and everyone's worried sick. I thought she'd be there but she's not." A pause. "They call the police." Karma had to force the last part. "And the next morning.. they pull her body out of the river."

Nagisa is staring at him, and it's only then that Karma realises he is crying. Hot, wet tears that he has been holding in for far too long spill down his cheeks. "I'm sorry, kid, it's because of me that you never got to meet your sister." Karma chocked out. "It's my fault that your psycho mum raised you to be her replacement. It's my fault Nagisa is dead."

"Karma- " Nagisa said in a tentative voice. "It wasn't your fault. Not at all. You were a kid, and what happened was an awful accident."

Karma looked up at the boy- His dead girlfriend's brother- with shocked eyes. He was sure the other would condemn him and hate him for killing his sister and ruining his life. When it happened, everyone had blamed Karma for Nagisa's death; Hiromei Shiota, the police, even though she didn't outright say it, it was clear his own mother thought it was all his fault. Even though he wasn't sure if he believed this boys words, for the first time he felt the tiniest thread of absolution.

"Thanks for talking to me.. I know it must be painful." Nagisa said, handing Karma a tissue. "But.. if you feel up to it, could we talk more? Not about sad stuff.. but about what she was like when she was alive, I mean- only if you're up for it."

Karma wiped his eyes, usually he would feel embarrassed crying in front of others, but right now he just felt relieved somehow. "Yeah. I'd like that."

The two of them ended up going to a local cafe (since Nagisa's mum was due home soon) and spoke for hours. For the first time, Nagisa was able to view his sister not as an impossible ideal he had to live up to, but a real girl. Someone who seemed fun, and kind, and someone he wished he could of met.


That night, Karma yet again dreams of Nagisa.

He's at a pond he vaguely recognises but can't quite place. There's bread in his hand and a gaggle of ducks around him. He notices his own reflection, blinking when he realised he was younger than he remembered. Maybe about sixteen.

A small child runs over to him, barrelling into his legs. The kid looks up at him with a wide grin and violet eyes.

"Gakushuu?" Karma said, frowning. He was sure his brother was older than this, but he couldn't quite remember; his mind felt fuzzy somehow, with details and facts floating evasively out of his reach.

"They're here- " Gakushuu said excitedly, pointing. Karma turned to look, seeing two figures approaching him; A girl with long blue hair, and walking by her side was a small blue-haired boy about the same age as the Gakushuu by his side.

"Nagisa- " Karma breathed out, recognising her instantly. She smiled at him.

"Hey you." She said, her tone warm. Gakushuu let go of Karma's legs and ran over to the pair, taking the little blue haired boy's hand.

"We're going to play- " Gakushuu declared, before the two children ran off together.

"Stay were we can see you!" Nagisa called after them, before sighing. She smoothed her long white skirt down as she sat on the park bench, beckoning for Karma to do the same. "I swear, we were never such a handful when we were their age."

Karma sat down next to her. Looking at her closely now, he realised she looked slightly older than Karma had ever seen her in life. Maybe about sixteen. "Are you my Nagisa?" He asked. She giggled and blushed.

"Well, I am your girlfriend, aren't I?" She said, leaning in to Karma. She felt warm against his chest. She looked over to the two boys playing by the duck pond. "It's nice our little brother's get on so well. I know you weren't thrilled when your mum got pregnant, but it all worked out. Who knew my mum would end up having a kid at the same time?"

"Nagisa, what is this?" Karma asked, almost afraid to break the spell. Nagisa hummed.

"This is what could of been if I hadn't died." Nagisa explained. "We would of stuck together, Gakushuu and Nagisa-kun would of grown up as best friends. Well. My little brother wouldn't of been called Nagisa if I were still alive. I wonder what the would of named him? My name means shore, so maybe something to do with the ocean? Who knows." She gave a sad smile.

"I would of loved to have a little brother. If I was still alive I would of protected him from mum.. if I was alive he wouldn't be forced to be someone else in the first place..." she glanced over at Gakushuu. "And if I were still alive, I wouldn't of let you be so estranged from your own little brother, you two would of been a lot closer. You could of protected him, too."

"Protect him from what?" Karma asked. Nagisa just smiled, her eyes were full of tears now.

"Sorry. I'm just getting sentimental. This reality could never be but I wish it was." She said, standing up off the bench. "Karma, please promise me that you'll look after my little brother, since I've never been able to. And don't forget about your own brother too- "

"Nagisa, wait- " Karma called out after her, reaching out to her, but she disappeared into nothingness.

Karma opened his eyes. Sunlight filtered in from the window, he could feel his pillow beneath his head. Only a dream, he realised, it was just a dream. But it had felt so real..


This probably would of been the finale of the story but I have some more ideas for it. Thanks for the comments, I was really happy to see people still reading this. Also, I acidently posted the last chapter twice because I tried to edit the chapter, so oops.