Mabel walked through the woods, deep in thought. Her grim expression and calculated movement was much more in line with her anxious brother, very different from how the usually buoyant and carefree girl's approach would normally be. She was also unusually silent, with no merry whistle or happy hum to entertain herself. Even the sounds of the nature she loved, the birds in the trees and critters in the bushes, offered no distraction.
She pushed a branch aside and stepped into the clearing, noting the eerie quiet as the animal sounds died away. She wasn't looking forward to what she was doing, didn't know if she was ready. But it was time to find out.
"Hi, Bill," she said, sitting cross-legged in front of the effigy. "I came to talk."
Bill said nothing, only staring unblinkingly. It was hard to tell since he only had the singular massive eye, but the way they were positioned, it didn't feel like it was looking directly at her, more to a point just above her head and over her shoulder. That made her feel a little better, as if he wasn't fully seeing her.
Not that he could, even if she did change where she sat.
"I don't entirely know why I'm here," she admitted. "You're dead. Grunkle Ford and McGucket have done their mad genius science scans. They've confirmed there's no trace of you left. Not here, anyway. You're just a statue. Maybe not a normal statue - made of something that isn't quite stone, resting on a place with a slightly thinner border to the Nightmare Realm - but still a statue. Nothing special. I could draw you on a cardboard box and talk to that instead.
"But that wouldn't be the same, would it? It'd be like talking to a caricature of a dead person when there's a picture in the other room. Sure, it might be easier. But you can't always take the easy way out. See, I can't lie right now. Not the best situation, but I've decided to make Lemon Babies out of today's lemons and come see you. 'Cause there's something I've thought about saying to you for a while now, Bill. But I wasn't sure if I could be honest with myself when I said it and now I won't have a choice."
She plucked at a blade of grass, straightening it out. "I've done my best to avoid coming here since...that night. Even when I was playing with Waddles or my friends, I made sure we kept a wide berth. I kept using excuses, saying that place was full of annoying gnomes or poison ivy or had forty percent less squirrels. Dipper knew what I was doing, and I think Wendy did too. But they never said a word. Always looking out for me."
Mabel pulled out her phone and looked at the pictures of her friends and family, not smiling as she normally would. "This summer's been tough. First there was the night we found you. I'll avoid that for now. Then, me, Wendy, and Pacifica spent a day as ghosts when our bodies were stolen. Sleepover was fun but not much else. All thanks to a new enemy who caused some serious problems for Dipper later who's now decided to poison us. You'd like her - she's petty, vindictive, and walks all over everybody else. Also seems to think she's funnier than she really is so you two have that in common too. I'll spare you the details since I think you'd enjoy them and I don't want to give you the satisfaction.
"Then, this other time, we found a fairy in the woods and tried to help her but turned out it was a trap. Bunch of us got hit by the seven deadly sins and I hit on Gideon Gleeful! Yuck! Thank goodness that I can't remember that one! We're pals now, by the way. Yep, forgave him for all the 'you'll love me after I murder your family' stuff. Mostly. Still a bit touchy about trying to cut Dipper's tongue out with lamb shears and turning Waddles into his Gideonland Mascot, but I'm willing to give it time."
She scrolled through a few more of her pictures, finding a few from the day after, when she, the girls, and Gideon, had ran through the fields in search of butterflies. All of them gathered close together, dirty and sweaty, with her at the centre and holding up a jar of the fluttering insects, Frank eagerly reaching up for it while his fairy friend perched on Grenda's shoulder, rolling her eyes. A brief smile finally crossed her lips as she thought back to the simple fun and laughter of that day.
"Now that I think about it, it wasn't all bad, you'd be annoyed to hear. Flirting with Gideon aside, nobody got hurt and we all had our embarrassing moments so overall it was a fun adventure. Our enemies became our friends (seems to be a recurring thing with us) and we all had fun the next day. Even some of our worst adventures of this summer had their good moments too. Or, if they didn't, we made sure to band together afterwards and have as much fun as possible to make up for it."
She flicked through several more fond memories with those closest to her and held them up towards the stone. "We met the Manotaur's Mom, told her how nice her boys have been this year, and introduced her to Multibear. She's a lovely lady monster and I think they could become great friends. She really likes his singing and he appreciates that her sons keep giving him fish to keep her calm. Much better than trying to tear his heads off. The Stans seem a bit scared of her but Wendy admires her.
"Let's see, what else? Went back in time, met a guy from the future, and cleared his name. He's nice. To me, anyway. And Pacifica, he's really nice to her and they could both do with a friend. Hey, guess who else she's friends with? Gideon! I know, right? Totally caught me by surprise but they seem to have really hit it off. Maybe it's because they're both only child's and have a few similarities so they act like a big sister slash little brother? Or maybe I'm looking too deep into that - my therapist's taught me a lot but sometimes I over-analyse people and actions. Think it freaks the others out a little when I delve into therapeutic speak, so I'm definitely going to keep doing it.
"The biggest thing to happen this summer, though, is that Soos and Melody are getting married. Tomorrow! Can hardly believe it! I am so happy for him! Both of them. They're the perfect couple. Even better than I think Dipper and Pacifica would be! Which is saying a whole heckuva lot since I've already planned their wedding, honeymoon, at least three anniversaries and - hang on, getting off topic. Really oughta reign in my shipping until Dipper's ready, don't want to scare him out of it.
"Anyway, Soos and Melody are getting hitched, and it's going to be awesome! I'm more excited about it than I am for our birthday! Marius, Grenda's boyfriend, is coming all the way from Australia (he'd better bring the koala I asked for) and turns out Melody and Soos have a couple of cute cousins or second cousins or whatever. Who cares, what's important is that I will totally dance with them. Plus, wedding cake! That's even better than normal cake because it has joy and love as an ingredient! Metaphorically speaking, but I can still taste the difference, whatever Dipper says."
She settled on one of her favourite pictures; her family, Soos, Wendy, and Melody standing in front of a large tree each in a stance that somehow naturally suited them all. "But I'm still not as happy as I should be," she said, softly. "I keep thinking back to the night we found you. I've dealt with a lot since last summer. Monsters and cruel people and evil in all forms. Had plenty of nightmares this year and probably will forever, especially since we'll keep coming back and seeing more. But hearing that people died during Weirdmageddon...that shook me."
She let out a sigh and put her phone away. "Like I said, I have a therapist now. See her every day. I'll even see her before the wedding tomorrow and before we get on the bus. It - it's going to be rough not being able to do that when we go home. But we'll still talk online and I hope things will get better over time. Even if...they might get a little bit harder at first. But I'll always have Dipper and my parents when I need them," she added with more force after her voice went briefly quiet. "She's really good at her job, made me think about things in whole new ways.
"She's Pacifica's therapist too. She used to be this famous person in her field, dealt with politicians and celebrities but now she's only dealing with townsfolk. Doesn't even charge them much. Except Pacifica's dad, she told me she charges him way too much for stealing her work and using it on his daughter. I think...I think she feels really bad for that, you know? We talk about guilt and responsibility a lot. I think the main reason she gave up her previous lifestyle was to try and make amends for what Preston did to Pacifica. She feels terrible for being used by him."
She closed her eyes. "I know all about that."
She swallowed thickly, pushing past the pain for now. "And that's why I wanted to talk to you. When I ran away last time, it wasn't just from you, it was from myself. I couldn't face what I'd done and was terrified my family and friends wouldn't forgive me for it. But you know what? They did. All of them. Even Gideon and Paz, two people I'd been fighting even longer than you. Despite the fact that I'm as responsible for those dead people as you are."
She plucked at her clothing, fighting the strong urge to retreat to Sweater Town. But this wasn't the time to hide from her fears.
She wiped her eyes, not willing to let him see her like this. "My therapist told me that hatred and resentment can be like a drug: eating away at you inside but letting you do more than you ever thought possible. It can consume you, push all other thoughts from your mind as you obsess over the next way to hurt the person who hurt you, even if you know it can't happen like that.
"She also said that forgiving can be the hardest thing in the world to do. She admits she can't do it (don't get me started on the issues she has with Wendy) but tells me I'm stronger than I think I am and must have a big heart to have forgiven Gideon for what he did to us. So I want to see how strong I am. Because Gideon's one thing, Bill, but you...you murdered your own family. Destroyed entire universes. So let's see how big my heart really is."
Mabel got to her feet and took a step to the side, the statue staring directly at her as she glared back in defiance. To her, it felt like the sightless stone was peering into her soul. And she in turn was staring back at nothing.
She raised one hand, the leaves rustling around them as a chill wind swept through the woods, the animals sounds dying out as her index became level with his palm and she took a deep breath.
"I hate you, Bill Cipher. And I hope there's a Hell so you're screaming in it."
There was no distorted cackle, no whisper or pressure in her head, no discolouration as the real world faded to a realm of dreams and nightmares. The wind settled, allowing the distant sounds of nature to return, and she was just a teenage girl pointing at the tombstone of a dead monster.
"Yeah," she said, lowering her arm. "That's what I thought. You're nothing special. Just a corpse that won't rot. But if there is a part of you out there - somewhere - I bet you loved that, didn't you? Sweet, innocent Mabel saying something like that, even to someone like you? I can imagine all the jokes you'd be making. Well, I don't care. Maybe I'm not that girl anymore, but I'm still me. Not so kind or pure but still Mabel. And not even you could take that away from me." She closed her eyes for a moment, seeing fifteen people flash before her eyes. "Even if you took away something worse."
There was a sudden noise behind her and she swung round, shocked to see Ford stepping into the clearing, freezing when he saw her looking back.
"H-how much did you hear?" she asked, sharper than intended.
"I didn't hear anything," he answered, looking between her and the statue. "If you want, I can go. I'm sorry if I intruded-"
"No, wait!" she called, reaching out her hand as he took a step back. "I'm sorry Grunkle Ford, I was just surprised. If you want to stay, I'm fine with that. Really."
Ford looked at her closely, hearing something in her voice. Then he nodded and approached the statue, sitting cross-legged directly in front of it.
"How did you know I was here?" she asked, settling down beside him.
"I didn't. I heard Dipper and Stanley upstairs and assumed you were with them." He turned to the effigy, staring at it intently. "No, I come here on occasion. To think. About the mistakes I made and what I'd give to unmake them. Do you come here often?"
"No. First time since our second night here. Had to work up the courage, you know?"
His eyes fell. "Yes. I know."
"I guess we both got tricked into making dumb decisions, huh?" she asked, trying to make it sound like a joke.
"He always did know how to manipulate people," Ford answered, his voice heavy. "I wish that made it easier to accept, but it doesn't. I still allowed my hubris to get in the way of what should have really mattered. And other people paid the price."
"That's the worst part, isn't it? It's so unfair when you're responsible but other people get hurt."
"Yes," he sighed. "I often wish it had been me alone who'd suffered. But life doesn't work like that and not all the magic or science in the world can change that."
They were silent for a moment, thinking of all the pain they'd indirectly caused too many people through their own weakness.
"Can I ask you something, Grunkle Ford?" Mabel asked after a while. "You knew him better than anyone. Why did he do it?
"I feel cold inside thinking about fifteen people and I technically never hurt any of them. And they were strangers - I don't even know if I passed them on the street. But he murdered his family and then kept going. He's killed countless people. Whole universes. And I - I don't understand how he could do that."
"I have no idea, Mabel," he said, his expression darkening. "I never want to, nor would I tell you if I did. There are some things people are not meant to know and I believe that evil is one of them. As important as it is to find out what causes it and what can be done to stop it, we should never truly understand it."
"I suppose," Mabel said, sounding conflicted. "That does make sense but - but I'm still scared that it's easier to do bad things than I thought. I never meant to hurt anyone. I only wanted a little more summer. But it still happened. And I hate him, Grunkle Ford, I can't forgive him so why should people forgive me? Why should their families when I took someone away from them? What kind of lame excuse is that, just saying I never meant it and...and I - I didn't - didn't mean it," she gasped, tugging at her hair as she saw face after face flash in front of her eyes.
Ford flung himself around her, using his body as a shield between her and the statue as she trembled and wept. "I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I didn't mean it," she repeated over and over, burying her head in his chest as he tightened his hold.
"I know, I know," he whispered, gently shushing in a desperate hope to ease her pain. "It wasn't your fault, it was his. That's what evil people do, Mabel, they make their victims feel like they deserve it. But they don't, I promise you, you don't. You're a good person and -"
"I'm not!" she said through clenched teeth, gripping his coat harder. "I'm a murderer! Like him!"
"You are nothing like Bill Cipher!" he said, his voice firm despite the tightness in his chest. "Listen to what you're saying, to what you're doing! He never showed remorse, he glorified in the pain he caused! He was a soulless creature but you - you're the kindest, purest person I know."
She said nothing back, only continuing to weep, but he felt her shake her head against him in denial, leaving him struggling to think of a way to convince her how wrong she was. For the thousandth time he wished he'd had as much experience raising the kids as Stanley had, willing to give up all the years across dimensions to help her. Then he thought of something, an experience he'd obsessed about for a long time but had barely thought of at all in almost a year.
"Mabel, listen to me," he said, gently. "I once went to a universe that I thought was perfect. In it, I was as famous as any of the scientists I'd admired as a child, working alongside Fiddleford with a working portal in an institute I founded myself. I thought it was the greatest universe I could imagine.
"But I was wrong. I realise now how unfortunate and petty that version of me truly is. Because he never reconciled with his brother, like I have. And that's thanks to you, Mabel. Stanley built the portal but you're the one who trusted him enough to let it work, despite all evidence to the contrary." He rubbed his six-fingered hand over her head, smiling down at her through his tears.
"That's how kind you are, Mabel. You saw the goodness in him when no one else could. And then, when the rest of us thought Stanley's mind had been lost forever, you refused to accept it and saved him."
He rested his head on hers, holding her tight. "You brought my brother back to me. You reminded me how important family was, a lesson I should never have forgotten. And I will never be able to repay you for the good you've done."
Mabel sniffed, lifting her head and looking up at him. "Do you really mean that?"
He smiled, brushing the tears out of her eyes. "Do you honestly think that, even if I were able, I would lie to you about something as important as that?"
She gave a hesitant smile back and reached up to wipe his cheeks in turn. "No." She threw herself against him again, gripping him tightly. "Thank you, Grunkle Ford. You might be my second-favourite great-uncle but I hope you know that's still a pretty big compliment."
He laughed and squeezed back. "That is literally one of the nicest compliments you could give me." Then he hesitated, thinking of something he'd said that afternoon. "Listen, Mabel...in regards to what Stanley and I said earlier, about our most important person? I know I said it was Dipper, but I want you to understand that - what? What's so funny?"
Mabel shook her head at him, chuckling. "I was just thinking how similar you and Stan can be sometimes. It's okay, Ford, I get it. I love you too."
"Oh," he said, unsure what she meant but pleased to see a little happiness returning to her features. "That's good to hear. You seem to be doing a little better now. Are you alright?"
She let out a deep breath, pulling away from him and looking down at the ground. "Thank you for helping me through it but this was - this was a bad day. Professor Passuum said I'll have them for a long time to come, sometimes out of the blue. And there's nothing I can do about it. I'm...not alright, Grunkle Ford," she admitted. "But I think one day I could be," she added, sounding hopeful despite everything.
"I think so too and I'm willing to wait however long that takes."
"Even if we're wrong and it never happens?"
"Even then," he said with a patient smile, getting to his feet and taking her by the hands to pull her up with him.
"I already knew that but it still makes me very happy to hear it. Hey, uh, Grunkle Ford? Can I ask you something? Do you...ever get nightmares? Not normal nightmares, but really bad ones? Like, about Bill or Weirdmageddon?"
Ford looked at her over his glasses, his shoulders dropping slightly. "Yes. And I'm very sorry to hear that you've shared that experience."
"Yeah, it's not the best way to wake up," she said, rubbing her arms. "Usually it's Bill, or his henchmen, or the Shapeshifter. Happened more often this summer, since I found out about those poor people. It's worse for Dipper. There were a couple of times his screaming woke the house, really made Mom and Dad worry and I can't blame them.
"As bad as it was for me last summer, I can't help thinking I'm still lucky. I spent most of Weirdmageddon in my own personal paradise while Dipper was out there in the middle of it. He doesn't like to talk about it, not even with me. And I know it's only going to get worse after this summer. But I don't know how to help him. Lots of bad stuff keeps happening, and I'm scared it'll only make his nightmares worse."
"I wish I had an answer for you," Ford sighed, his voice heavy with regret. "But I fear the answer to Dipper's struggle is the same as your own: speak with Professor Passuum for as long it takes, take the prescriptions she's advised for you both, and never forget that you have all of us when you need us."
"That's good advice," Mabel said, rubbing the back of her neck. "I just wish it wouldn't take so long. I guess I'm still a little too impatient, huh?"
Ford ruffled her hair, fondly. "Not at all. It makes perfect sense to seek the quickest way to ease someone's pain and feel frustrated when there isn't one. Still, at least this way you can compare his problems to your own, and think of how you'd want to be treated.
"We all get bad days, Mabel. Me, Stanley, Fiddleford. I'm sure even Soos and Wendy have had their share after the trauma we all went through. But what's important is to face those troubles with the people who matter to us. Not try to ignore them or go it alone like Fiddleford and I tried to do. Then again, you're much wiser than we were. Especially me."
She gave him a look. "That's a little surprising to hear from you."
Ford laughed. "I know, my ego is my greatest flaw. But now I can admit when I'm outclassed. Perhaps not all the time, nor as quickly or as easily as I should, but I hope that will improve with time and practice."
"You're definitely much better than you were last summer," Mabel said with a nod. "And you and Stan are getting much better than you used to be when it comes to the emotional stuff. Did the Professor give you some advice?"
Ford's lips twitched. "Not exactly. Want to know a secret?"
"Normally I'd say you could trust me, but we're still under the influence of the truth serum so-"
"That should only last another day at the most," Ford said, waving his hand dismissively. "As long as no one directly asks you about what I'm about to say, you should have no problem avoiding the subject." He leaned forward, raising his six-fingered hand to her ear, despite the absence of any nearby people.
"Stanley and I have been reading all her books to see if we can get a better understanding of how to help you and Dipper. Stanley even bought his own copies!"
Mabel took a step back, shocked. "Really? But her books cost a fortune!"
"I know!" Ford laughed, amused by her reaction. "He was horrified at the cost of one, let alone the set! I think he would have admired her for charging such ludicrous prices if he weren't so furious!"
"But why? Couldn't he of stolen them, or at least shared with you, or-"
"He could, but you were so important to him that he didn't want to anger the Professor if she found out. And this way we could compare notes on the same chapter without getting in each other's way."
"Wow," said Mabel, equally touched and impressed that her cheapskate relative would spend so much on her. "And he hates that kind of stuff! I looked at one, and I'm a little surprised he can understand some of the words to be honest."
"Yes, he does struggle with some of the terminology. She's exceptionally well-informed and some of her work is decades ahead of others in her profession. Still, he may not be the most academic of people, but my brother's the most stubborn man I've ever known and when he sets his mind to learning something, whether that's Hyper-Advanced Engineering or psychiatry, nothing can stop him from trying."
"Anything for his family."
"Anything for our family," Ford replied, returning her proud smile. "Now, it's getting late but I'm more than willing to stay here if you need a little more time. Whatever suits you best, Mabel."
Her smile faltered for a moment and she looked round him towards the statue, still staring at her with its arm outstretched, as if tempting her to make an offer at any price.
She shuddered, tugging at her sweater a little. She wasn't sure if it was another oddity in the little clearing or if it were just a normal breeze, but either way it felt like another reason to avoid this place.
"No. I've said what I had to say," she said, deciding she'd had more than enough of Bill Cipher and making her way towards the Shack. "Let's go home."
"Of course, Mabel. I just have to do one last thing first." He took out his laser pistol, adjusting the settings and fired at the statue, the red beam arcing across the stone and leaving a burned black trail on its surface. "That's for making my great-niece cry," he growled, pointing a threatening finger directly at the little smiley face he'd left on the surface of the eye.
Then he turned and held out his hand, Mabel automatically sliding her small hand in his, despite her stunned expression.
"Now, we can go home," he said, smiling down at her warmly as he led her away from the cold, dreary reminder of the past and towards the warmth and light of their family.
