Hi guys !
If you haven't noticed yet, I'm a sucker for sad endings, tragedies and generally angsty stuff. I swear I'm not a gloomy person in real life. This story isn't so sad, I think, especially because of the POVs (you'll see) but my point in life isn't to make you all cry anyway (I think)
Oh, and also I have been working on a multi-chaptered story but I don't know when I'll post it yet (probably when I'll have more than one chapter ready), and I have a lot of ideas for other short stories, so stay tuned!
Kyuso works for the palace all of four days. When he first gets hired as a messenger, it excites him. He gets told that the Fire Lord corresponds regularly with his friends and that he should be carrying a letter to Master Katara soon, as she was the last one to send Fire Lord Zuko a missive, a few days ago. He hopes it is sooner rather than later, he has never met any of the young war heroes – aside from the Fire Lord – and would feel honored to be the one to carry their correspondence. Running to and from the aviary to send and receive messages may be seen as boring, but to Kyuso, it feels like he is the first to know when something big is happening. Especially when it is official mail, and he has to read it himself before announcing it to the Fire Lord.
So yes, Kyuso likes his job. The pay is low but the workload is rather small and he gets to stroll around the palace all day. The maids are nice enough, he even thinks he has a shot with Lin, a dignitary's pretty handmaid, and spends his first days exchanging glances with her when they pass each other in the hallways. The palace is beautiful, the gardens even more so, and the servants' quarters are clean and bigger than his house, in the lower districts. He thinks he can eventually get promoted to guardsman, in a few months, once he has Fire Lord Zuko's trust.
But Kyuso will never get in touch with Lin, will never get promoted to guardsman, will never have the Fire Lord's trust, because on his fourth day of work, he is the one who delivers the message of Master Katara's death.
The heat is unbearable, Lin thinks, but she can handle it for the remainder of her stay here. At least she will have to go back with her mistress to the Earth Kingdom soon, and Lin won't have to suffer from the Fire Nation sun any longer. She's got to admit, though, the constant heat is really helping with how fast newly cleaned clothes dry.
She's hanging sheets and pillowcases on a laundry line in the servants' courtyard when she hears yelling. Lin has seen the new messenger – Kyuso, was it? – cross the gardens hurriedly earlier, and as much as she liked admiring his backside when he ran, she didn't like the panicked look on his face.
Lin can't help but get closer to the source of the ruckus, in one of the gardens not far from the courtyard. So what if it is improper to eavesdrop? Her mistress is in town and she can blend in with the other handmaids that are already there. When she arrives, the part of the garden where Fire Lord Zuko was taking his morning tea earlier is in shambles, Kyuso is running away with smoke coming out of his hair and the Fire Lord himself is yelling at him to never come back to the palace if it is to deliver such horrendous lies.
"My grace," a guardsman approaches the Fire Lord. Lin can see him visibly sweating, obviously nervous about what he is going to say. "The letter is quite official, it came from Chief Hakoda himself. I don't think he lied to you, sir."
Lin doesn't know what news made Fire Lord Zuko destroy the area and fire Kyuso so fast, but she thinks that it definitely can't be good. The guardsman hands him the letter, and golden eyes widen gradually as they scan the words.
Her suspicions are proven correct when she sees the Fire Lord's flaming fists snuff out, his face falling and his knees giving out from under him. Immediately she and another maid go to help him up and take him inside while the guards extinguish the remaining flames burning in the garden.
It is a bit awkward for her, as she hasn't even formally met the man yet, but she does her best to help him to his rooms anyway. He walks slowly, dragging his feet, a stricken look in his eyes and a string of soft no, it's not true, she can't, it's all lies, coming out of his mouth in murmurs. Lin can feel his arms shaking and she wonders again what kind of news can put the Lord of a great nation in such a state. Maybe he is even crying, but she doesn't want to look at his face again, it reminds her too much of her little brother's face when he was told their father wouldn't come back from the war.
They guide the Fire Lord to his bed and he sits down, putting his head in his hands, trembling uncontrollably. It strikes her now how young he is, how lost he looks, and she feels the need to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but instead leaves his room in silence. When the doors clicks shut behind them, the other maid says, "I'm going to get General Iroh, he's here for the week. He'll know what to do," and escapes swiftly. Lin stays in the hallway, torn between waiting for the Fire Lord's uncle to come take care of this, and taking off herself. In the end, when she hears crashing and screaming from the other side of the doors, she runs, not wanting to be caught in whatever crisis the Fire Lord is dealing with. Let that be somebody else's problem.
Zuko is asleep by the time Iroh leaves his rooms in silence. The last few hours have been… Exhausting, to say the least. The old man passes his hand on a burn on his arm, sighing, and glides to his room to treat it. As he closes the doors to his suite, Iroh finally gives into the burning in his eyes and lets his tears flow down his cheeks.
Katara is – was – such a dear acquaintance of his, and imagining what her family and friends must be going through is making him so emotionally frail that he needs a few minutes to compose himself before going to see the council to tell them their Fire Lord won't be fit to rule in the foreseeable future. The truth is, he feels for Katara's death, he feels for the loss her disappearance will bring to the world, but most of all, he feels for his nephew.
Iroh sits down, not bothering to wipe down his tears – more will come anyway – and opens the burn ointment he keeps on his desk. His sleeve is singed, his jacket is lost; Zuko didn't miss with this one. The old man can't be mad at his nephew, though. To be in such turmoil that he needs to lash out at anything and anyone approaching him is harder on him than some burn is on Iroh.
The last hours come back in a flurry of fire, screams, tears, hugs and punches.
Iroh will miss the Master Waterbender, but he knows nothing compares to what Zuko is feeling right now. As he applies his ointment, he remembers the times he noticed their fondness of one another. He remembers them orbiting around each other, the glances, the attentions, the smiles.
It's in the way, a few months ago, Zuko beamed when he heard of Katara breaking up with the Avatar, before schooling his features into a more somber expression, perhaps more appropriate to the news of his friends' separation.
It's in the way his nephew always reads her letters first and goes to lock himself up in his study to respond as soon as he can, as if writing back a minute later would mean that Katara would tire of waiting.
It's in the way Iroh, a year after Zuko's coronation, invited his nephew's friends and especially her to one last party before he left for Ba Sing Se for good, knowing she'd make the Fire Lord happy enough for him to forget about his uncle leaving him to rule alone.
It's in the way, when he arrived in the palace a few days ago for an impromptu visit, Iroh witnessed Zuko get a letter from Master Katara, and he swears he had never seen his nephew look so blissful in his life.
"Good news, Nephew?" Iroh asks. It's not every day he sees the Fire Lord smile unabashedly to his breakfast.
"Great news, Uncle. Katara is coming to the Fire Nation." Zuko folds the letter and slips it in his tunic, against his heart, condemning any chance for his old uncle's curiosity to be satisfied.
"Oh? Have you invited her to come here in, maybe, a previous letter?" Iroh can't stop himself from prying, hiding a smirk behind his teacup.
"You could say I invited her to stay for a while. Maybe even… Permanently." Zuko blushes at his admission, and Iroh laughs, pats him on the back and admits to him he is glad they finally sorted their feelings out for one another.
The thing is, this past week has been the happiest Iroh has seen him look in his entire life.
The thing is, Katara is dead, and his nephew will never recover.
Yao has been the royal family's personal tailor for years, so nobody stops him when he casually walks through the palace's front gates with a suitcase full of clothes and a notebook full of sketches. When he sees his ideas for his new ceremonial robes, the Fire Lord is going to worship him. He finally managed to create a version agreeing with both of their views, Yao himself having a more traditional eye and the Fire Lord wanting something less… Bombastic.
He hears the shushed whispers going on between the servants he passes along the way, but thinks nothing of it until one says a little too loudly, "He's gone mad, I tell you. Locked up for two days in his office. I hear he trashed his room, too, and won't let anyone come in, not even his uncle."
"Excuse me," Yao begins, walking towards the gossiping maids. "Are you talking about Fire Lord Zuko?" He asks, suddenly worried for his appointment.
"Yes, haven't you heard? Master Katara died, and Fire Lord Zuko didn't… React so well."
Yao freezes for a minute or two. Master Katara died. Master Katara… Died. Huh. It is definitely not good news.
If Fire Lord Zuko doesn't let even his uncle enter his rooms, Yao doubts he will be able to see him. But one doesn't become the Fire Nation's royal tailor by sitting idly by and waiting for things to come to them, so Yao hastens his steps and turns towards the west wing.
As he approaches the Fire Lord's doors, he notices a tray of food waiting on a pedestal table right next to it. So the maids have abandoned trying to go inside already.
Yao knocks once, twice, three times, then braces himself and turns the doorknob. The first thing that attacks his senses as he steps into the study is the dimness of the room. The curtains are drawn, creating a dark and smothering atmosphere. The second things that Yao notices is the stench of alcohol. A bottle of fire whisky clinks against his foot and movement comes from the desk.
Fire Lord Zuko, in all his glory, is sprawled out in his chair, snoring loudly, obviously inebriated. Dark circles are drawn under his closed eyes, his skin resembles ash and his clothes look like they have been worn for years without being washed. Yao has never seen him in such a state. He knows better than to try and wake him up – shaking a sleeping, drunk firebender is asking to be burned – so he turns around and leaves. He should ask a maid to come in and clean up while the Fire Lord is still asleep, but he understands that the servants aren't too keen on stepping around the unstable man, even in this incapacitated state.
So Yao does what he's never done before: he gives up and leaves the palace, his suitcase still full of clothes.
Ming is starting to get frustrated. Every plate she prepares and sends to the Fire Lord's chambers comes back untouched. At first she thinks it is because he is too busy to eat, lately, as she knows he hasn't gotten out of his study for a few days, until she hears about Master Katara. Such a shame. Such a nice, young woman. Ming liked her.
"I heard there was an affair," one of her cooks tells the rest of the kitchen staff. "He doesn't eat because he's too choked up with guilt, she died because she ran away from her family to see him."
"Don't be ridiculous, Lan," another jumps in. "She died because she tried to fight people too powerful for her."
"What do you mean?"
"She helped fight down insurgencies in the remaining colonies and got herself killed in the crossfire, I heard."
"No, she didn't, she got poisoned. People from the Northern Water Tribe didn't like that she was getting powerful, politically."
"Well I heard that the Avatar accidently killed her during a lover's quarrel. But I don't believe it much."
"Speaking of quarrel, I wouldn't have liked to be the guy delivering the news of her death. Have you seen how fast Kyuso ran away? We won't see him back anytime soon, let me tell you."
Ming is chopping some leeks and listening in on their conversation, resisting the urge to berate them. It's not their fault there are so many rumors. Even she doesn't know what to believe, and she's the only one of them who has actually met Master Katara.
If she wanted, she could even add to the rumors. Tell people how the entire palace seemed lighter and happier when Master Katara came to visit, because the Fire Lord was himself happier and lighter. Tell someone how the cooks would always have to prepare and send their lunches and dinners to his study because the pair spent every meal alone together. Tell others how Fire Lord Zuko had the kitchen make sea prunes every time Katara visited, just in case she found the Fire Nation food too spicy and needed something familiar instead.
She could tell them how, for years, she observed them banter and smile and fight and laugh, even though she only saw them a few minutes a day, in passing.
But Ming doesn't want to add to that particular rumor. The one that sent her staff into a frenzy when it was announced that Master Katara and Avatar Aang broke up a few months ago. She swears, if they weren't some of the best cooks in the nation, she would believe her staff was full of romance writers, or journalists, the way they gather information and turn it into a new story every day.
"My cousin – Jia Hao, you met him once, he works down at the laundry rooms – told me the Fire Lord is not eating because he wants to lose weight. Apparently he's been washing larger and larger clothes, lately."
"Shut up, Xu, have you seen the Fire Lord these days? He's as thin as paper."
"Well what about what my cousin told me?"
"Your cousin told you a load of crap, that's what that is –"
"Hey!"
Ming shakes her head, tuning them out. She just hopes that the Fire Lord will eat today's lunch, as it is the last one she prepares for him before he embarks on an airship to go to the South Pole for the funeral, and she knows he probably won't eat much there.
The guardsmen are playing cards in their quarters. Shunko watches them, not participating yet. Maybe later. There is always less to do for them when the Fire Lord is away. His trip to the South Pole shouldn't take long, a few days at most counting the way there and back, and the guardsmen – for those who don't have to accompany the Fire Lord – relish in the tranquility of the palace.
He thinks of his girlfriend. Shunko would have liked to spend these few free days with her, but Saya is the only maid not afraid – or at least, not visibly – of the Fire Lord's state and she has taken upon herself to clean up his rooms before he gets back.
Shunko sighs. Maybe he should go help her. It's not like he has anything else going on at the moment.
He starts to get up when a conversation between his colleagues floats to his ears.
"… And he told me she was getting ready to leave the South Pole to come here when she got killed."
Oh, nice, another rumor about Master Katara's death. Shunko puts on his boots, not wanting to hear another things about the woman's supposed murder.
"And you're sure of your information? There are so many rumors…"
"I tell you, my kid is in the Southern Water Tribe to see his girlfriend. He saw it from his own eyes."
Shunko's ears perk up. At last, a source that can be trusted. He has heard of Jinto's son, before. A nice kid, bright, maybe a little too young to be locked in a long-distance relationship with a Southern ambassador. He slows down, taking his time lacing his boots.
"The Northern dignitaries were there all week, so when she got poisoned they were immediately arrested. I think they're still in custody."
"So it was political, right? She was rumored to be prepping to become chief, as her brother is marrying that Kyoshi girl and living away."
"Yes, but I don't know how she would have managed – listen, I told you nothing, alright? But my son told me he overheard something about Master Katara wanting to leave the South Pole indefinitely. We know she was to come here – the Fire Lord told the maids to prep her room – but I don't think she had any intention of getting back to her tribe."
Shunko stops pretending he is focusing on his boots, all thoughts of helping his girlfriend out forgotten. "You think she wanted to come to the Fire Nation to – what, to live here?" He asks Jinto.
"I'm not sure. I guess now we'll never know, anyway."
It's raining when Saya enters the Fire Lord's chambers. She hurries as she starts tidying the place up, picking up empty bottles of fire whisky, shards of glass and scrolls thrown haphazardly around the study. The bedroom is even worse. Stains on the carpet she can't tell if it's blood or whisky, burnt drapes, broken furniture – these are all the things she can't deal with for the moment. Right now she needs to pick up what she can before Fire Lord Zuko comes back from the South Pole. The first days of his absence have been spent trying to get the smell of smoke and alcohol out of his tapestries and carpet, and now Saya only has a few hours before the Fire Lord comes back to probably ruin all of her hard work. If only the other maids didn't scare as easily, she would have been done by now.
She's arranging pillows on the bed when she sees it. A note, on white parchment, worn down probably from being read, folded, unfolded, refolded many times. The edges are burnt, as if someone had tried to get rid of it but then had decided otherwise, extinguishing the flames before it reached the words.
Saya knows it is none of her business, and if someone knew she was even considering reading it, she would get fired quicker than she could say "I'm sorry". But the note has fallen open when she picked up the pillow, drifting out from under it, and her eyes fall on the signature before she thinks. It's from Master Katara.
Now, Saya didn't know Master Katara, but she's heard great things about her. She would have liked to meet her, some day, as she knows the waterbender came sometimes to the Fire Nation, before… Before. The maid can't stop her curiosity from lifting the note a little closer to the light of the candle on the desk. Maybe she didn't know Master Katara, but she certainly knows of the rumors circulating around her and Fire Lord Zuko. A half-burnt note, a hidden-under-a-pillow note, a coming-from-Master-Katara note, that's reason enough to be curious. Saya lets her eyes scan the words – fewer than she would have thought.
Zuko,
I love you too.
I'm coming to the Fire Nation.
Wait for me,
Katara.
The maid's hands tremble as she reads and rereads the short letter. So the rumors were halfway true, then. No wonder she's had to clean up broken whisky bottles from his study. She hears footsteps outside the doors, and a guardsman saluting, "Good evening, Fire Lord Zuko", so she hastily folds the note and slips it back under the pillows, before scrambling away to a handmaid's passageway hidden in the walls. When the secret panel softly clicks shut behind her, she stops breathing and listens to Fire Lord Zuko sitting down on the bed. Saya is curious, but not enough to just stay and spy on her Fire Lord, so when she hears him start to cry, she silently steps away and leaves.
