Love Yourself

He wasn't quite sure how it turned out that Sam, him and Rachel hung out together. Maybe because Rachel, while driven and crazy and egotistical, still worried about the people she thought were her friends. Maybe she noticed that he still wasn't doing so great with his grades. And that Sam liked Navi so much because it was something he understood that others didn't.

He doubted that anyone else knew Rachel was a closet sci-fi geek with a genuine Starfleet uniform in red. (She liked Uhura because in the original Uhura could sing and she was a linguistics genius apparently.) Who was he to judge, he still thought Kirk was the shit. Something she and Sam had in common and could argue about for hours, the ramifications of Spock's heritage and Vulcan way of life. Hours hell, those two could carry a discussion for days on that topic.

He knew more than he'd ever wanted to about Vulcan culture and disciplines and whether or not green blood meant a copper-based system vs an iron-based one.

Puck figured he'd really gotten sucked in when he heard something about the possibilities of FTL drives and mentioned Firefly. Sam and Rachel had turned to look at him in unison (really fuckin' eerie that) and he was sunk. From that point on their time was split three ways, music, studying and sci-fi.


"I blame you," Rachel was practically in tears. Sam sniffed beside her manfully and nodded his agreement. Puck winced, he hadn't wanted to warn them.

"Yeah…I know. But you said that it was important for the impact of a movie that you not be spoiled for the ending," He justified his decision.

"This is terrible!" Rachel wailed, a fresh onslaught of tears trickling down her cheeks. "How could they?"

"We're talkin' about the same guy who killed Coulson man," Puck reminded them. "You really thought they'd get out of this without a sacrifice?"

"It sucks," Sam announced bluntly. "It sucks balls sideways."

"Hey, at least the fanfiction is around still, and they have stuff with Wash and Book still alive," Puck shrugged. He hated the canon ending but Whedon had a habit of doing that sort of thing. "Some of 'em ignore the movie altogether."

"We need a distraction," Rachel decided and hopped up from the couch.

"Isn't that why we all started hanging out together," Sam asked as he rose to follow her.

"Yeah, trying to ignore our pathetic love lives," Puck agreed.

"Not that you two aren't cool to hang with," Sam qualified.

Rachel rolled her eyes at them, "I think maybe it's about time to show certain people how we feel."

"Uh oh," Puck muttered before raising his voice slightly. "Rachel, not that singing with you ain't a blast but I'm not up for Endless Love or any other sentimental shit. Dunno if I can take you singing to Finnessa and you trying to get your 'leading man' back."

"No, I'm done with him," Rachel declared with a firm shake of her head. "You know he had the nerve to tell me that I should stop talking about New York and Julliard and Broadway because 'everyone knew' that I'd never get out of Lima."

"He said what now?" That boy had some nerve saying that to Rachel. Like he was going anywhere with his pathetic life. Finn was lucky he could write his own name.

"Hmm…" Rachel shrugged as she brought her laptop over to the piano top. "I think what really killed the romance was when he said he prayed that he could touch my boobs. Kurt's dad was in the hospital. Sam had gotten injured so Finn was quarterback again. He didn't pray for them. He prayed to touch my chest."

"Wow…" Sam couldn't seem to say anything else though he gave it the old college try. "That's…just…"

"Pretty fuckin' pathetic," Puck concluded. He sighed, "In the interest of whatchacallit, full disclosure? Me an' Quinn, figured that'd never happen and I'm past caring. I got visitation rights to Beth when Shelby's in town and that's better than I ever expected."

"I think I'm giving up on dating for a bit," Sam had regained his voice. "Quinn cheating, Santana… she's fine but we don't have much in common… I think we're better off friends you know?"

"And she can be a total bitch sometimes," Puck reminded him. "Hell, she dumped me because of my credit score. I mean seriously?"

Rachel rolled her eyes but didn't say anything regarding the other girl. She and Santana were unfriendly competitors at best. "Well I thought the three of us could sing something," The petite diva pointed at her laptop. "I heard this on the radio the other day."

"That's…" Again, Sam was lost for words.

"Different," Puck suggested. "A lot different."

"That's kind of the point," Rachel shrugged at them. "I've gotten the impression that your irritation with me singing to Finn is shared by most of the club."

"Why doesn't he ever sing for you," Sam wondered. "I mean, you two are broken up now but I never heard him sing for you before."

"He never has," Puck shook his head. "Closest he got was singing Jesse's Girl when Rachel was dating someone else."

"Finn hasn't ever…wanted to be with me the way I wanted to be with him," Rachel offered quietly. "Not unless I was with someone else. But when he has me, he doesn't want me."

"Check it man, she got all dressed up like Sandy in Grease," Puck expounded. "And he said she looked like a sad clown hooker. Really? Who says that shit? To anyone much less a girl?"

"Sounds like a real winner," Sam shook his head. He didn't have a high opinion of Finn anyway since Quinn had cheated on Sam with Finn. "What did you see in him Rachel?"

"He… he was a good guy," Rachel looked down at the piano keys. "He was nice. Good looking and sweet. I thought. But he manipulated me and led me on and when we finally were together he acted like he was ashamed of me."

Puck frowned at the screen and brought up the lyrics, "I think this might work." He nodded, "We'd have to alternate lines a lot, sing together on the chorus."

"No fancy footwork or choreography though," Rachel shook her head. "Simple."

"Like the song," Sam nodded. "Let's give it a try."


She was so pretty. And the sound of her, that voice packed into such a tiny body, all that passion… he finally caved in and kissed her. "Noah," That soft small voice that told him more than anything else she wasn't certain of what to do after he released her mouth. "What are you doing?"

"Askin' if you'll be my girl again," He admitted. "I liked it when we dated last year. Like to try it again. Without the lying and hiding shit this time."

"Maybe we'd have a chance then," Rachel smiled up at him. "You are the only guy who's had the nerve to sing to me."

"Finally!" Sam's voice broke the mood as he came in the door to the choir room. "I thought he was going to just mope around forever."

Rachel giggled, "Noah doesn't mope."

"Hell yes he does," Sam rolled his eyes. "All the time."

"Well, shall we table the subject for now and start practicing?" Rachel indicated the music in front of them as Sam put his bag down on a chair.

"Slave-driver," Puck grumbled good-naturedly.

"You know it," She smirked at him.


"Hey Mr. Schue, we got somethin'," Puck raised his hand and tilted his head towards Rachel and Sam lazily.

"Oh, well, I was thinking—" Schuester tried to back peddle. Idiot. Why ask if anyone has anything prepared if you don't want to hear what they've got?

"You asked," Sam pointed out.

"I did," Schuester sighed and moved away from the microphone.

Puck did his best to ignore the groans and whispers that began as he, Sam and Rachel stood and moved to the front of the room. Rachel moved the microphone out of the way while Sam and Puck got their guitars. "Just a little something we figured was appropriate, considering all that's gone on," Sam told the still whispering group on the risers.

The guitar chords were simple, deceptively so, but they had to be precise. It had taken he and Sam longer to get the guitar down than it had for the three of them to arrange the voice parts. He nodded at the other boy while Rachel stood between them and they began to pick out the notes. Rachel began, the first line, soft and matter of fact, "For all the times that you rained on my parade…"

He took the next line, winking at her, "And all the clubs you get in using my name,"

Then Sam, "You think you broke my heart, oh, girl for goodness' sake,"

The three of them had worked hard to join their voices, for one sound on the last line, "You think I'm cryin' on my own. Well, I ain't…"

Rachel took the next two lines, while Sam took the third and Puck got the next, "And I didn't wanna write a song
'Cause I didn't want anyone thinking I still care. I don't
But you still hit my phone up
And, baby, I'll be movin' on
And I think you should be somethin' I don't wanna hold back
Maybe you should know that…
"

Puck began the second part of the chorus and Rachel got the second line (so appropriate for her). "My mama don't like you and she likes everyone
And I never like to admit that I was wrong…
"

Sam began the next line and then the three of them sang the rest together, almost one voice, "And I've been so caught up in my job
Didn't see what's going on
But now I know
I'm better sleeping on my own…
"

He was aware of the irritated looks, the smug expression on Finn's face, idiot didn't get it obviously, but they were easy to ignore as the three of them continued the chorus, "'Cause if you like the way you look that much
Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself
And if you think that I'm still holdin' on to somethin'
You should go and love yourself."

Puck got the first two lines of the next verse while Rachel had the last two. They'd talked about how their respective partners had made them feel and agreed the lines worked best that way. "But when you told me that you hated my friends
The only problem was with you and not them
,"

Rachel's voice, sweetly accusing as she glanced over at Schuester, "And every time you told me my opinion was wrong
And tried to make me forget where I came from…
"

Sam began the chorus, Puck coming in on the third line and Rachel the fourth, the three of them in unison again, united and damn they sounded good. "And I didn't wanna write a song
'Cause I didn't want anyone thinking I still care. I don't
But you still hit my phone up
And, baby, I'll be movin' on
And I think you should be somethin' I don't wanna hold back
Maybe you should know that.
"

He could admit he got stuck on something and he was hard to budge, Rachel was the same way, so they'd learned to hear each other. His mother had never liked Quinn but he hadn't seen it, "My mama don't like you and she likes everyone
And I never like to admit that I was wrong
And I've been so caught up in my job
Didn't see what's going on
But now I know
I'm better sleeping on my own.

'Cause if you like the way you look that much
Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself
And if you think that I'm still holdin' on to somethin'
You should go and love yourself.
"

Rachel had the first two lines of the last verse, her voice softer, sweet with pain, "For all the times that you made me feel small
I fell in love. Now I feel nothin' at all…
"

Sam glanced at her and then at Quinn and Santana, two girls so different, but they'd both hurt him, one with lies and the other with indifference to his interests, "I never felt so low and I was vulnerable
Was I a fool to let you break down my walls?
"

They'd decided to sing the last chorus as more of a round, the three of them echoing around each other, voices meshing and separating before joining on the last line. "'Cause if you like the way you look that much
Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself
And if you think that I'm still holdin' on to somethin'
You should go and love yourself...

'Cause if you like the way you look that much
Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself
And if you think (you think) that I'm (that I'm) still holdin' on (holdin' on) to somethin'
You should go and love yourself…
"

Their voices faded with the last note of the guitars and Puck grinned at Rachel, reaching behind her to slap Sam's back. They'd sounded awesome.

The silence of the club was pretty telling. Then some clapping that gained enthusiasm because hells yes. And then…well as Rachel said, time to face the music. And sure enough, a barrage of questions and accusations and tearful looks.

"Hey," He held up a hand to stop the wall of noise. "People who screwed with us know who they are. And if anyone's feeling like it was directed at them, well, what've you been doing or saying that you feel like we're talking to you?"

"If you're feeling negative vibes then maybe you're the one creatin' 'em," Sam added.

"Rachel, nothing to say," Schuester prodded.

"What is there to say," Rachel stared at him coolly. "The club has made their opinion of me pretty clear. I'm only here because I'm talented. No one actually likes me. Right? You didn't bother to call them on that after the competition. Because you think they're right. You agree."

"I never—"

"You didn't say dick," Puck interrupted the teacher. "And you know what, I had more fun learning this song with Rachel and Sam than I have the whole year in this club."

"Yeah me too," Sam added. He looked at Puck over Rachel's head and nodded. They'd discussed this and decided if the group couldn't take this performance gracefully and maybe at least think about the shit they'd said and done, they'd take action.

"None of you deny it either," Rachel looked at the group. "I said that being part of something special makes you special. And I believe that." She glanced up at Puck and he nodded. "But I'd rather be with people who actually like me. I'd rather sing with friends than you."

"Yeah, we're outa here," Puck nodded and put his guitar in its case. Sam hung his on the wall and Rachel gathered up their music. Half a minute later and they were walking out of the choir room.

The door shut behind them, partially blocking the chaos of sound and Rachel looked up at Puck, "You're sure about this?"

"It's not fun anymore," Puck nodded at the picture of the old Glee director. "I mean, look at what that says, 'By its very definition, Glee is about opening yourself up to joy'. The club ain't been joyful in a long damn time."

"We could always get some guys from the team, start our own club," Sam suggested.

"Yeah, my little brother, half brother, he's comin' in as a freshman," Puck told them. "He's got some pipes too."

"Let's just relax for a bit, enjoy ourselves," Rachel suggested. "We can figure out the rest of it tomorrow."

"Good plan," Puck grinned at her. "Star Trek reboot marathon?"

"Yes!" Sam pumped his fist triumphantly.

Puck laughed. They'd figure out what to do about music later. Undoubtedly during one of their inevitable discussions that Star Trek always began. Glee was supposed to be fun. Joy. He nodded to himself. By its very definition, Glee is about opening yourself up to joy. Maybe if they kept that in mind they could do better than New Directions.

Rachel's hand slipped into his and he smiled automatically. Yeah, he could handle this. He and Rachel might be a little crazy but they went together. And they'd figure the rest of it out tomorrow.

Something to look forward to.


Author's Note: Just a little one shot that came to mind.