Chapter 48.
I say some things at the end if you want to read. Also, sorry that this chapter jumps around a lot.
Disclaimer: I do not own Shameless.
With Lip having left for Miami, Daniela was left to the boredom of her everyday routine. Work and no play swallowed up her life as she got started on earning some extra cash for herself. On her nights off, she would spend time with her brother who wanted to do some bonding with her before she went back to school. The summer seemed to be passing by in a blur and it wouldn't be long until she would be beginning her second year of college.
Thankfully for her, Mandy and Simon finally returned from their vacation in Denver. The morning after they got back, she went over to the Milkovich house to see her friends. It was clear from the get-go that things had gone well judging by Mandy's small smile.
As they got her up to date on everything that had happened, Daniela's eyes surveyed the living room as well as the abundance of suitcases taking up space. She had no idea where they were from and figured it was just another one of Mickey's schemes.
"So no problems with the family?" Asked Ian.
"Nope," beamed Simon proudly. "They loved her."
"Uh, no," denied Mandy, her eyes narrowing. "There was your cousin who wouldn't quit giving me the stink-eye."
"I wouldn't worry too much about her," he assured her. "That's just the way her face looks."
"Yeah, sure." Rolling her eyes, Mandy focused her attention on the others. "Anyway, what have you two been up to?"
Daniela shrugged from her armchair. "Nothing much. Just work."
At that, Ian snorted as he got up to retrieve something from the kitchen. He could feel her subsequent glare on his back and the couple were quick to jump on the tension.
"What?" Asked Simon with narrowed eyes. "What are we missing?"
"Oh hey, Lip got back from Miami the other day," announced Ian as if it was the day's forecast. Daniela's glare intensified.
Mandy's face scrunched up. "And we care because...?"
The redhead shrugged innocently; his eyes connecting with Daniela's. "Just in case you were wondering."
"I wasn't."
"Okay," interrupted Mandy, the gears in her brain turning. "What the hell happened while we were away? Are you and Lip close again?"
"No!" Denied Daniela vehemently. "Ian is just blowing things way out of proportion like he always does. Oh, and by the way," she shifted her attention to her best friend. "Don't think for a second that you're forgiven for opening your mouth when you shouldn't have."
"Like I said, I was worried about you," said Ian in defense of himself. "I thought Lip would have a better shot at getting through to you."
"Well, you were wrong."
"Are my ears defective or are you actually hanging out with that piece of shit again?" Scowled Mandy, clearly unhappy. "Because, if so, that is bullshit."
"Mandy."
"I'm just saying!" She defended, raising her hands. "He cheated on you with Karen. You're really willing to just forgive him?"
Daniela shook her head. "I know what he did and it's not like that."
"Really?" Mandy quirked a brow. "Because from the sounds of things, you're already halfway there." At the look on Daniela's face, the girl simply shrugged."Hey, I'm just saying what you're too scared to think about."
"Mandy's right," said Simon; his tone much softer than his girlfriend's."I mean, do you even know what you want from him? Have you even considered what it would mean to just let him back into your life again? You can't bullshit this. Either you want to really fix things or just leave things how they are. But don't go looking for anything if neither of you knows."
Daniela huffed, tired at the fact that she had to keep defending her choices. "Like I said, there's nothing going on. He has his life, I have mine. The fact that we're actually trying to move on and act civil with each other is something I thought you guys would admire me for."
"Yeah, but are you really willing to just let him back into your life like that?" Asked Simon. "Because if you do, that's it. No takebacks."
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, well..." Mandy's voice trailed leaving the rest of them to fill in the blanks.
"I got it, okay?" Snapped Daniela. With a sigh, she sunk further into the armchair. "Look, can we talk about something else? Like why the hell you have so many suitcases." She waved a hand in the direction of the piles for emphasis.
"Yeah, what the fuck is up with that?" Frowned Mandy, her nose crinkling. "This place looks like the loading bay of an airport."
With the topic now having changed, Daniela could finally allow her shoulders to slump. The voices of her friends droned into the background as she just sat there in quiet contemplation.
/
The next day, Daniela was on her way to work when her phone began ringing. Pausing on the corner of the street, she pulled it out to see Lip's name staring up at her. Her chest tightened. She had gone over what Simon and Mandy had to say but couldn't yet manage to figure out what it was that she wanted.
Shoving it to the back of her mind, she decided to just act normal.
"Hey," she greeted, lifting the phone to her ear. Her feet continued down the streets to her work. "How was Miami?"
"Uh, good. Yeah, really good."
"I was starting to think you'd forgotten all about us."
During the time that he had been away, the hadn't spoken or texted once. After her embarrassment at the park, Daniela hadn't wanted to be the first person to reach out and when no calls or texts came from Lip's end, she told herself that it was nothing worth getting upset about.
"That's why I'm calling actually," said Lip, grabbing her attention. "I was thinking we could maybe talk when you're free?"
"Sure," agreed Daniela, worry creeping into her chest. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, uh, everything's fine," he assured her. "Would this afternoon work?"
"Well, I'm heading to work now but my shift ends at 5. I could come over to yours at 6?"
"Yeah, that sounds good."
"Alright. Are you sure everything's okay?" She asked once again. "I don't know you just sound a little off."
Lip's low hum of a laugh filtered into her ear. "Everything's fine. I just thought we could catch up. I haven't seen you since I got back."
"Aw did you miss me?" She joked, the words slipping out of her mouth before she had the chance to think about them.
Instantly, she froze. Lip didn't say anything for a long beat causing the dread to set in.
"I'll see you tonight," was all he said.
"Uh okay, see you."
Flushed with embarrassment, she wasted no time in hanging up the phone. With her phone back in her pocket, Daniela raked a hand through her hair as she finally arrived at the diner. She shook it off and headed inside, not wanting it to affect her work.
/
It was nearing the end of her shift when Mickey came barrelling through door managing to effectively scare Daniela.
"Hey, you seen Ian?" He asked roughly.
"No," she shook her head. "What's up?"
"Dumbass never came back from work last night so now I have to go look for him." Mickey's fist was curled up tightly as he began pacing on the spot.
"Shit," her eyes fell shut for a second. "Uh, my shift ends in ten. You think you could hang back?"
With a short nod, Mickey glanced around the diner before telling her he'd be waiting outside.
The next ten minutes managed to drag by and as soon as she was done, Daniela was rushing to grab her stuff and leave. Just like he'd said, Mickey was waiting for her outside the diner.
Seeing her, he stomped out his cigarette before gesturing his head for her to walk with him. They carried on in silence for a few blocks with Daniela glancing at Mickey every once in a while.
"You okay?" She finally asked.
"Fucking peachy," answered Mickey sarcastically. She expected nothing less from him. "I've got enough on my ass as is, now I have to deal with this asshole going fucking MIA?"
"We'll find him, don't worry."
Mickey's brow raised. "I'm fuckin' worried."
Daniela's mouth twisted at the irritation on his face. The sounds of the city echoed around them as they continued on in silence.
"What's the deal with all of those suitcases at your house, anyway?" She inquired in an attempt to ease the tension.
Mickey rolled his eyes. "We lifted them from the lost baggage at the airport and Ian got a little carried away."
"A little?" She critiqued, having already seen the stockpile.
"So fucking what if there's a couple more bags? If the douchebags cared that much about their lost shit they should've kept a better eye on it."
"It's not the people I'm worried about," said Daniela, eyeing him seriously. "You didn't think it was odd at all that he wanted to fill up your house with random shit?"
"No," glared Mickey. "I told him to chill out but he doesn't wanna fucking listen to me. Now, this? He's a pain in my fucking ass."
"Mickey... if his behavior is becoming erratic again we have to do something about it. I mean it this time. We can't just let him go off like this."
"How's about we just focus on finding him first before you start crawling up my ass," said Mickey with a raised brow.
His pace picked up leaving Daniela to roll her eyes behind him.
It didn't take much longer for them to arrive at the club where Ian worked. The pair made their way in, feeling the electronic music pounding in their ears.
"I'm gonna go check the back!" Yelled Mickey over the noise. "You circle around and see if you can find him!"
Daniela nodded before splitting away from him. She made her way around the club surveying each dancer and waiter. Thankfully, the club wasn't full therefore giving her a better opportunity to take in each face. It didn't take her long to gather that Ian wasn't there.
Disappointed, she decided to head towards the back where Mickey was. It wasn't hard to slip past and she was about to round the corner when she heard a pained grunt.
Peeking around the corner, her eyes widened at seeing Mickey kicking an employee on the ground.
"-bouncing off the fucking walls," he mumbled to himself as he swung his foot into the guy's stomach again. "I came out for you, you piece of shit."
Daniela pulled her head back and leaned against the wall. Her brow furrowed in sadness at seeing Mickey venting his frustrations. While she had always known that he cared for Ian, she had never had a chance to properly experience it away from her friend.
It wasn't long after the grunting ended that Mickey came out into the hallway. He paused when he saw her, his mind realizing that there was a high chance she had heard everything. Daniela showed no signs of it as she pushed off the wall nonchalantly.
"He's not here," she told him with a shrug.
"Who gives a fuck?" Mickey breezed past her. "Let's go."
Frowning, Daniela followed behind him. "Where are we going?"
"To get a drink."
"Here?" She questioned, clearly surprised.
"Fuck no, not here," grimaced Mickey in disgust. "The Alibi. You comin' or not?"
Huffing, Daniela tagged along.
/
The second they stepped through the door of The Alibi, Mickey was calling out for alcohol.
"Whiskey. The fucking bottle," he ordered, taking a seat at the bar. In a flash, a bottle and a glass were procured and set out in front of him.
Daniela sat beside him and met the bartender's eyes. "Just water for me."
Mickey eyed her oddly. "Thought you wanted to drink?"
She turned her neck to see that he was already onto his second pour. "This is good enough."
He snorted at that, having expected nothing less of her. Daniela said a quiet thanks to the bartender when they returned with a glass of icy water. Taking a small sip, she glanced sideways to see Sammi saddling up beside a disinterested Mickey.
"-batshit crazy."
"Check," smirked Sammi, inching closer.
"Packin' nine inches," said Mickey, holding his hands apart for added emphasis. Sammi's brow raised before she eventually backed off and returned to the other end of the bar.
"Mickey, about Ian..." began Daniela tentatively as he downed the liquor in his glass. "I don't think you can ignore it anymore." Mickey showed no sign of having heard her and instead began filling his glass again. "I know you didn't want to accept it but all of this - his behavior - it's textbook stuff. He needs help," she urged. "Medical help. Stuff that we can't give him."
It seemed that her words were finally starting to sink in. Mickey didn't raise the glass to his lips but instead just held onto the bottle, staring down into the dark liquor.
"I know you care about him, and I know you just want to protect him but you can't do that if he keeps going like this."
"So what," he said after a long pause. "I'm just supposed to drag his ass to the nearest nut house?"
Daniela tilted her head. "Knowing Ian and how his mind is working right now, he won't go easily. But we need to do this. Before he puts himself in real danger."
Mickey's jaw rolled. She could see that the decision was eating at him but they both knew deep down that there was nothing more they could do for him. She heard no disagreement or fight from him as he instead poured some whiskey into another glass and pushed it over to her.
Daniela eyed him sadly before taking a long gulp of it. With a sigh, she shifted it back towards Mickey to top up and for the next few minutes, things were silent between them. Both were lost in their own thoughts about Ian - the person they cared so much about.
Daniela rolled the whiskey in her glass around; her eyes following the movement like she was in a trance. The sound of her phone going off brought her out of it.
"Shit," she cursed, seeing who it was before answering it quickly. "Lip, I am so sorry. I completely forgot. This thing came up with Mickey and I guess time just got away from me."
"No worries. You think you'll still be able to come by tonight?"
"Uh…" her eyes lifted to the clock on the wall. "I don't think I'm really up for it. This day feels like it's dragged on forever and I just really need to sleep it off. Sorry."
"Ah, that's okay. Maybe tomorrow then?" Said Lip, sounding hopeful.
"I'm going to see my dad tomorrow."
"How about after that?"
Daniela laughed, caught off guard by his persistence. "Jeez, was Miami that bad?"
His low chuckle reverberated in her ear followed by a sigh. "Sorry, I uh- it's just been a while."
"A week, Lip. It's been a week." Shaking her head, Daniela released a long breath. "Alright, you can come over tomorrow after I get back."
"Great, sounds good."
"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then. Goodnight."
Hanging up, Daniela took a sip of her drink. She could feel Mickey watching her out of the corner of her eye and waited for him to say something.
"You and Gallagher, huh?"
She simply sighed and stood up from her stool.
"Me and no-one," she answered, seeing off the rest of her drink."I'm gonna head home, you'll be okay?" Mickey scoffed, offended causing Daniela to smile. "Right. I'll let you know if I hear from Ian."
Mickey nodded and continued sipping his whiskey. After dropping some cash on the bar to help cover the cost, Daniela made her way home.
/
The next day, Jakob's truck pulled up flush against the curb outside their house. Daniela, already in a hurry, wasted no time in undoing her seatbelt and heading for the front door. She paused, however, when she caught sight of Lip out front.
Also seeing her, he rose from his seat on the steps. Daniela slowed to a stop, confusion filling her brain before it was quickly replaced with realization.
"Oh shit," she mumbled to herself, wiping a hand over her face. "You're gonna hate me."
Behind her, Jakob came into view; his eyes narrowing slightly at the sight of Lip. He paused for a second to assess the situation before heading inside, leaving his sister to it.
Lip waited until he was gone before lifting his chin in question. "What's up?"
"My work called. One of the girls is stuck at home taking care of her little brother so they asked me to come in and cover for her."
Lip's head bobbed slowly. "Right."
"I am so sorry, Lip," expressed Daniela genuinely. "Really. If it were any other week I would totally be yours but this one has just been so busy. I promise I will make it up to you."
"Don't worry about it," he shook his head, waving her off but Daniela could see that was more than a little put-out.
Her lips pressed together sadly before she moved forward to wrap him up in a hug.
"It's good seeing you though," she said, her head resting against his shoulder.
Lip's arms wove around her, returning the hug and pulling her in closer. "Yeah, you too. How's your dad?" He asked once they were apart.
"Good," she beamed. "It's kind of full-on for him right now. We've been getting everything ready for his parole hearing in a couple of months."
"Oh right. You must be pretty excited then."
Daniela nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. "Yeah, my dad's just a little nervous because the last time he tried he was turned down so."
"Right, well I hope everything goes well for him," said Lip.
"Thank you." She shuffled her feet for a second before continuing. "Listen, my shift ends at 7. I can swing by your house after that if you want?"
"Yeah, that would be good," nodded Lip, his shoulders lifting slightly.
"Okay well, I better get ready for work then but I will see you tonight," promised Daniela as she walked away from him. "I mean it this time! I will be there."
Lip laughed under his breath and nodded. Once they had both said their goodbyes, he made his way back home.
/
True to her word, Daniela made her way to Lip's after her shift. The temperature had dropped throughout the day to a comfortable chill by the time she arrived to find him waiting on the front porch with a cigarette in hand. His head raised when he caught sight of her and she smiled as she moved to sit down beside him.
"Okay," she sighed, settling in. "I am now one hundred percent yours." At her words, a look passed over Lip's features that was gone as quickly as it came. "What's up?"
Lip, now rid of his cigarette, rubbed his hands together to mentally psych himself up. Daniela waited patiently as she watched a myriad of changes flash across his face.
"I just wanted to apologize," he said, meeting her confused stare. "You know, for what I did to you."
Daniela's face fell straightaway. This was the last thing she had been expecting when he told her he wanted to meet up. Lip monitored her reaction and rubbed his hands again.
"And I'm sorry it took so long for me to do this. You didn't deserve that. You didn't deserve what I did to you."
"Why are you bringing this up?" Asked Daniela, her voice breaking slightly. "I mean, why now?"
Lip breathed a long sigh. "We never really got to talk about what happened. And I get why. You weren't ready, and I was too busy trying to convince myself that it wasn't that serious." He shook his head at the idea. "And recently you and I have been spending more and more time together and, I don't know, I guess it just felt like the right time to do this."
Daniela's hands fidgeted in her lap.
"You know, when Karen told me what you'd done, I was pissed. But not at you- at her. I thought that she was the reason why you had cheated and that she was the villain in all of this. But then I realized that it wasn't just her. It was you too. I think a part of me just didn't want to believe that you could do something like that without having been pressured into it." She gulped, avoiding his stare.
"And then I saw your face when I confronted you, and I knew that it hadn't been pressure; that you had done it completely on your own." She ducked her head to stare at her hands. "I think that's the part that hurt me the most."
Lip felt like cursing under his breath at the impact her words had on him. Pausing, he carefully constructed his thoughts.
"I know that no amount of words or actions can make up for what I did to you," he began as Daniela raised her eyes to meet his. "But I just need you to know that cheating on you was - without a doubt - the biggest mistake of my life. I know that. I knew that after I had done it. I knew it after I lost you."
Daniela's mouth pinched as Lip heaved a hefty sigh.
"And what you said about moving on; I get that. I can barely get past what I did," he told her, shaking his head as the crease in his brow deepened even more. "I hate that I hurt you so much. And seeing you break down that night at the park made things even worse because I knew I was the reason you felt that way."
"And I don't know how to help you or fix things but I figured this could be a start. A start to - I don't fucking know - repairing our relationship," he shrugged, dragging both hands over his face with a tiresome sigh.
Daniela pulled the inside of her cheek between her teeth as she thought over each and every sentence Lip had just poured out. Moments like this were rare when it came to Lip. He preferred to keep everything locked up tightly inside which, in some ways was beneficial but when it came to their relationship, it often made things challenging for Daniela to figure out where they stood.
His mind was one that was hard to read so to hear him so suddenly and freely express his thoughts to her were moments that she did not take for granted. To hear him actually express his regret created a new sensation within Daniela that could be compared to elation or relief. Elation that Lip had cared about her after all and that what they had shared hadn't been nothing.
Similarly, she was relieved that he shared her belief that his actions had ruined the good thing that they had going. Despite this, Simon's words niggled in the back of her brain, reminding her that she really had to think about what she wanted from Lip and how much she was willing to let him back in.
"I trusted you," she finally said after a long silence and her eyes locked with Lip's. "I opened myself up to you, and you threw it right back in my face."
"I know," nodded Lip looking conflicted. "It's just that Karen had this- this pull over me that I couldn't resist. It took losing you to realize she wasn't nearly worth the cost. I couldn't even go to MIT because I wasn't sure if I could do it without you. " The revelation surprised Daniela who watched him carefully. "And it just felt wrong, after everything you did for me," he added as an afterthought. "I didn't deserve any of it. But I think the worst part of it all was knowing that you hated me, and I couldn't blame you for it. I hated myself too."
Frowning, Daniela shook her head.
"I don't hate you, Lip. I never hated you. No matter how much I wanted to. I was just so… disappointed that you had done that to me. But you can't keep using Karen as an excuse for your actions because at the end of the day you were the one to go to her. You were the one who decided to cheat, not her."
Lip's jaw clenched and unclenched in small spasms as a rare show of remorse flooded his face.
"I'm so fucking sorry," he uttered quietly as his eyes roamed over her face.
Daniela nodded, her mouth thinning to a sad line. "I know. And I appreciate you being so honest with me. I know it's not the easiest for you to do."
Reaching over, she placed a hand on his and felt his fingers curl around hers. She gave the entwined hands a reassuring squeeze before shifting closer. With her side now flush against Lip's, Daniela tilted her head to lean against his shoulder. A long breath escaped her as he maintained a tight grip on her hand.
Neither was sure how long they sat like that on the front porch but it was enough to cause a sizeable cramp in Daniela's neck. Despite this, she ignored the pain because, for the first time in a long time, neither felt like there was an underlying tension beneath their feet. For the first time in a long time, things felt hopeful.
.
So, I've read the concerns surrounding Daniela's situation. I accept all forms of feedback, good or bad and while I didn't think any were bad, there was one thing I wanted to address and please don't think of it as me attacking you because I'm really not.
Just know that it was never my intention or belief that I was writing Daniela as weak or desperate because she's not. She is a strong person in a difficult, confusing situation. I know it's frustrating. It's supposed to be. But please don't be disheartened or worry. I'm actually very appreciative of how much you care about her. Also, please keep in mind the fact that we're seeing things from Daniela's point of view with little clue about what Lip thinks which is why things may come off as one-sided.
There's a lot more I had written down but I'll just leave it there. So yeah, that's all I have to say. I'm sorry if it comes across harsh - it's not supposed to.
xx
Special thanks to 13teen, fashionphysician, angelicedg, RHatch89, x NikiSt x, Guest, funwithstark, littlerosebudbroke, Hapsgurl80, Isabeux3, and meagniscole!
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