Disclaimer: I don't own South Park.
The sun was slowly sinking from the sky, leaving it in a bright orange colour decorated with bluish clouds. Another day was ending in South Park. So many crazy shenanigans had been happening in the little mountain town which would seem bizarre to outsiders - yet would just be business-as-usual to residents.
Sat in his bedroom, a certain child was gazing out of the window, looking out at the town which had become his new home for the last few months. It had been a little while since he had his family moved to South Park - yet in such a short space of time, he had made quite the impression on all the people who lived here. The amount of followers he had managed to gain on Coonstagram was certainly the achievement for someone who didn't say much.
Having eaten dinner, done his homework, watched The Terence and Phillip Show and played his Okama Gamesphere over the last few hours, it was almost time for bed. Yet there was something he really wanted to do before he put his head down for the night.
He wanted to put his thoughts on his new home and the friends he'd made into words - without saying a single one.
Sitting up on his bed, the New Kid took out his diary. He opened it to the first blank page he could find, beginning to scrawl away with his pencil.
Dear Diary
It's been a while now since me and my parents moved to South Park. I can honestly say it isn't anything like I'd expected.
I really thought this would just be some plain old boring mountain town - but in the time I've spent living here, it's been anything but.
When we first arrived here, Mom and Dad wouldn't stop arguing and fighting. So I took every opportunity I could to get out of the house. That's how I came to mingle with the local kids.
We hit it off right away. I spent a lot of time hanging out with these guys. They played so many games which they let me join in from wizards verses elves to superheroes.
I can honestly say these kids I met are real characters.
There's one guy who's really cool and friendly. He's really into this girl who he's so head-over-heels for - yet whenever she comes to talk to him, he throws up and grosses her out.
Then there's another guy who's really swell too, but he takes a lot of crap from this other kid who picks on him and rips on him for no reason - other than because he's a Jew!
Speaking of that other kid I just brought up, he's gotta be the most unlikable guy I've ever met. He's rude, a jackass, bigoted and selfish - not to mention so unbelievably fat. God damn it, he's so fat, it's a wonder he can lift himself outta bed. I've never seen such a fat ass!
Probably the most bizarre kid of the bunch has to be this poor one. He's nice enough, but what's weird about him ... is that every single day, he dies! I've seen him get slaughtered in so many brutal ways, yet the others never seem to care. Nor do they give a crap when he shows up the next morning, alive and well as if nothing happened to him.
I could go on and on about the many faces I met here (a sweet kid whose parents are always grounding him, a cynical kid who is forever flipping people off, a twitchy kid highly addicted to coffee, a disabled kid who is often stuttering jokes, another disabled kid who can only say his own name, a taking towel that is always getting high...), but that would take forever. To cut it short, there are so many unbelievable characters here in South Park - and I've been through so much with them all.
We've in on a lot of adventures together. They've relied on me to help them out with several problems. I have managed to get them out of their jams, earning their respect in return - as well as new followers on Coonstagram.
The kids in South Park have really made me feel like a part of them. They have accepted me into their crazy circle and considered me one of them - even thought not one of them cares what my name is. As far as they are concerned, all I will ever be known as to those kids is 'Douchebag' or 'Butthole'.
The new kid paused, reflecting on his true feelings on the other kids that always went through his head when he was around them, yet never spoke allowed. He gripped his pencil tightly as he continued to scribble away in his diary, putting what he thought into written words rather than vocal.
Screw those kids! Screw South Park! Screw everyone! First chance I get to leave this crazy place, I'm out! I'll leave those little assholes alone to these crappy goings-on in this stupid little mountain town!
His entry finished, the New Kid closed the diary and placed it underneath his pillow. Then he changed into his pyjamas and went to bed. It took him only a few minutes to fall asleep - getting his rest to face whatever insane adventures tomorrow had in store for South Park.
The end.
