Just how many times had he played this scenario in his head, he could no longer count. Him, naked with kagome. Them, exploring each other's bodies.
It was a secret he had kept for himself for a very long time now. That in some stolen moments, when he was alone and he could freely pleasure his body, he'd visualize himself doing all perverted things to kagome. The first few times had him struggling to look at her eyes the morning after, but after a while, he was finally able to get rid of his guilt.
It was a sin he was very ready to get to hell for.
Was this his punishment? For all the lewd thoughts he'd kept of her? Because in that moment, when they were at their most intimate, bodies flushed together, he could not, for the life of him, "touch" her.
Yes, he was naked.
Yes, she was naked.
Bodies soaked in the hotspring, both sitting, her back on his chest.
And although all he wanted to do was to run his hands on her breast and feel the fullness of her chest, to push his finger inside of her and feel the quiver of her wall, he just could not.
He will not take advantage of Kagome.
Unless she wakes up, then maybe he could ask.
But for that moment that his woman was unconscious and wounded, he will only do the necessary and nothing more than that.
Inuyasha went back to the hut, with kagome wearing nothing but his fire-rat robe.
"We're back baba. What else do we do?" - he asked as he walked inside, setting himself on the wooden floor to sit, carefully shifting Kagome so she'd still lay on his arms, side of her head, resting on his chest.
"As what we have done with Kikyo, we will cover the wounds with leaves, which we boiled with these powder that heals"
Inuyasha peered over Kikyo who at that moment seemed to be not recovering yet.
"Where are her soul collectors?" He asked.
"I saw them bring one, i think it isn't enough" - sango interjected.
"I see. Is she okay though?"
"She will be fine, Inuyasha." - kaede insisted.
"That's good. We'll just monitor the souls. You can give me the leaves now"
Before placing her to lay completely on the futon, Inuyasha gave Kagome's forehead a kiss, much to everyone's amusement.
And when they thought he was finished, he then placed another quick one on her nose.
And then.. he moved to her lips. But contrary to the previous two he'd given her, this kiss lingered. Mouth opening and closing to taste as much of her. Neck angling to get the best access. Inuyasha kissed her as if no one was watching.
Kaede and Sango could only watch in shock. Was this the same Inuyasha they knew? The shy and defensive hanyou they have accustomed to live with? Oh how an incident could turn completely one's life perspective.
As Kaede became a bit uncomfortable with how long inuyasha has been lapping at Kagome's, she interrupted.
"Ehem Inuyasha.. if we could tend to her wounds now?"
"Just...a second.'' - he retaliated in between his languid kisses. And seemingly not minding his surroundings, he continued to consume her for a while.
"Inuyasha." Kaede warned with a hint of threat which seemed to affect the hanyou.
"Feh. Here, lemme have the leaves" he said as finally put Kagome to lay.
Kaede was about to apply the leaves to Kagome when she noticed how better than expected her wounds were healing.
"Inuyasha, in which hotspring do you bathe her again? Her wounds are not to heal this fast. But they are. We may need to see the water, use it for future healing."
"Don't waste your time baba. It's not the water. It's my spit"
"What?!!" - sango shrieked.
"What? My saliva heals."
"Wait.. you mean.. you.."
"Licked her wounds? Yes."
But her wounds are all over her body. - sango thought to herself. Remembering that Kagome's breasts were also wounded the last time she saw her, she couldn't help but blush. Does that mean he licked them there too?
And as if sensing his friend's anxiety, inuyasha defensively mustered.
"Feh! I didn't take advantage of her if that's what you're thinking. I have my honor Sango.."
And she believed him. His friend may be bastard, arrogant, and hot headed, but he was also kind and good natured.
"You know that's not what I meant. I know how she means to you, Inuyasha. I guess it surprises me how casual you are talking about all this. You kissed her too. Just now. In front of us. That is so unlike you."
"Feh! Once that wench woke up, I'll ask her to be my mate. I ain't gonna waste time anymore."
Both Sango and Kaede smiled as they watched the hanyou blushed.
It has been two days, and though Kagome has not woken up even once since, Kikyo has finally been able to recuperate.
Inuyasha was alone with Kagome in the hut when Kikyo decided to talk to her former lover.
"Inuyasha… we need to talk"
"O-okay"
"Not here. I need us alone"
"I cant kikyo... I can't leave her.."
"Is that so... Well. Will you just sit with me then?" Kikyo sat on the edge of the elevated wooden floor and inuyasha followed.
"You haven't been away from her to even tend me yourself"
"I checked up on you, Kikyo. I constantly ask kaede how you were. They always say you were fine"
"She's also fine.. but never once did you remove yourself from her. Funny. Do you love this girl?
Inuyasha could only nod.
"What about your love for me? Was it not true?"
"I loved you!" He almost shouted.
"I loved you the way I thought love should be"
"But you love her more? Is that what you're saying?"
"I'm saying I have never loved anyone in my life the way I love Kagome... She's my life. I know that I promised to die with you, Kikyo. And I am sorry for failing you. But I am hers, and my life is no longer mine to give. Im sorry"
Could she blame him? Fifty years ago, they met and found a safety blanket of each other. They hoped a world to live as ordinaries, where they could be anyone but themselves. And that was is, was it not? They needed each other to fulfill what the world could not provide them. Need. Not want.
"I understand. I can no longer bind you to a promise that isn't ours to make. I'm setting you free, Inuyasha.."
He felt the heavy burden lifted off of his chest when the realization hit him that at last, after all the guilt and regrets he had to bear, he finally could move past their history with his honor still intact.
"Th- thank you kikyo. I'll always have you in my heart"
And to have the closure she needed, she gently touched Inuyasha's cheek and gave his lips a quick peck.
For Inuyasha, the kiss was nothing more than a parting gift for the woman who once held his heart and who he is now ready to let go of. A quick peck in return for a broken promise. He felt in his heart that that was only fair.
She was feeling better now. A bit light headed but still manageable. Her body seemed to recover from a rest, for how long she didn't know. And as she opened her eyes to scan the room, she saw Inuyasha sitting beside Kikyo sharing a conversation she knew she was not supposed to hear.
"Th- thank you kikyo. I'll always have you in my heart" - she heard Inuyasha speak.
And when she thought she could no longer hurt, she saw them share a kiss.
"Will you show me outside?" Kikyo asked
Inuyasha thought that he could accompany kikyo for the last time. In his mind, Kagome was still sleeping and had been stable since the night before. He could leave her for a short time, then roam and hunt for their food on his way back. In case kagome has woken, he'd have something tasty to feed her.
Unbeknownst to him, the woman on his mind had her eyes already open..
The two exited the hut, leaving the other miko alone, hurting, devastated, and misled.
