Candy

Hello friends! It's Candy. You've probably been wondering where I have been, but I assure you, I am in big trouble. Mabel and Travis fell through the ground, and Annabeth, Luke, and Dipper disappeared.

"Candy, your mother has requested me to not kill you. Come," Hades says.

"Persephone? What does she want?" I question.

"Just come. Now!"

"Yes, Father," I skip after him and into the palace. Oh, you didn't know? I'm the goddess of candy. Yeah, I have no idea how death and flowers make candy. I like staying out of the Greek myths, so I just hang out at Gravity Falls. My disguise is Candy Chiu. I wish I was her, not some freak his her father's greasy hair and mother's dead spirit.

My father is still holding Waddles in his arms. It looks quite cute. I pull out my phone and take a picture. "Candy, phones are prohibited," he warns. I ignore him and check out my other pictures: the Summerween Trickster, the Goblewonker, and some other memories from hundreds of years ago.

"Dad, isn't Demeter visiting today?" I ask.

"Sadly, yes. Be a good granddaughter. Not like last time," he glares.

"Oh yeah! It's not my fault that some of Ceberus' dog waste somehow smuggled into her dinner," I defend myself. The funny part is that Demeter punished Hades instead of me.

She was all like, "If my sweet granddaughter lived with her mother and grandmother in the sun with flowers and cereal, she would be the perfect child. But no! She's got to put up with her father as well! And you send her to Gravity Falls? The cereal there is terrible!" It was hilarious.

We walk through the doors and see my mother doing yoga in the throne room. "Mom!" I call as I run over and tackle her.

"Candy, you're a goddess, not a football player," Hades swiftly comes over and pulls me up.

"Hades, she would be a godess, but she's now a resident of Gravity Falls, so we can't change the fact that she could play for the New York Knicks," my mother says.

"Honey, that's a basketball team. I hate modern sports. What this country needs is a real Olympic Games, not some volleyball tournaments. The more blood the better," Hades magically removes his jacket.

Persephone ignores him and continues to practice yoga. "My mother's coming to do her palace inspection, so tidy up the realm," she orders my father.

Hades curses in Ancient Greek and slouches in his throne. "If I was Zeus, I'd have servant to do everything without hesitation. My wife wouldn't have a nagging and obnoxious mother," he complains.

"Obnoxious? Well, at least I don't kidnap my spouse!" Demeters poofs in, grain falling on the floor.

Persephone gets up from downward dog. "Mother! It's been a few months since I saw you!"

Demeter scowls at Hades, "I see you haven't made the palace suitable for a family to live in. Candy! How's my granddaughter? I haven't seen you in a few decades! I don't understand why your father would send you to Gravity Falls... That town corrupts one innocent soul after another."

"Grandma, I am okay," I assure her.

"Did your father tell you to call me Grandma? It makes me feel old," she glares at him.

Hades mumbles, "Well, you are old."

They both stare at each other for a while. Then, they both burst into insults.

"At least I didn't kidnap your daughter!"

"It's not my fault Persephone likes pomegranates!"

"Hades, you always complain about how Zeus gets everything he wants, so I guess taking my daughter helps even it out!"

"Your daughter isn't as valuable as being the king of the gods!" my dad yells.

As they keep on yelling, they are gradually getting taller. Soon, Hades' forehead is touching the chandelier in the ceiling. Just as they're about to destroy each other, my mom stops them. "My daughter is behaving better than my mother and husband!"

She grabs my hand and pulls me into my room.

Even though I'm an immortal goddess, that doesn't mean that I'm ancient news. I mean, no one knows anything about me, since I live in Gravity Falls. Although I didn't create candy, that doesn't mean that I'm not the supreme overlord of it. Well, except for bad, tasteless candy. That's out of my control.

I sit down next to my mother on my floral patterned bed. She hands me Mabel's backpack, and Waddles plops down next to me. "Honey, you're a sweet child, but I think it's best that you stay in here as I sort out this family feud," I nod and take out my phone. Being a goddess, it's not that hard to find reception underground.

"One new message," the phone reads. It's an unknown number.

Candy, this is Dipper. When he sent us to Disneyland, he only trapped Mabel and Travis. Where are you?

Uh oh. My father's number one rule: no talking to boys. Well, it's not like he used to have tons of children... that's strange. I reply instantly.

Dipper, Hades wanted to talk to me about Gravity Falls, since I've lived there the longest. I'm fine, and he's promised to not kill Travis and Mabel if you get the autograph.

I wait for a minute and he texts back.

We got the signature, but we don't know how to get back. We're in line for Star Tours right now.

What?! You shouldn't be going on any rides.

I know, but we found a clue written in ancient Greek. Just see if you can ask Hades how he's going to let us into the Underworld.

Okay, just don't die.

I put down my phone and pat Waddles on the head.

When I poke my head back into the throne room, Demeter is gone. Persephone is too, so my father is just mumbling to himself, "I hate cereal."

"Uh, Father? Are Mabel and Travis still alive?" I scoot into the room.

He grunts, "I think so, but not for long. The other three freaks haven't come back."

"Well, did you open up the entrance to the Underworld at Disneyland?"

Hades pauses for a moment, "Whoops. Oh well, they'll have to find a way themselves." He goes back to hating his mother-in-law.

There's no point in arguing, so I guess I have to go find them.

Dipper, the monsters are going to find you if you keep using your phone, but I'll meet you by the Churro cart right outside Star Tours.

Ok. So far, we've only been nearly killed on Indiana Jones.

I sneak into the library and find aisle 32. I tilt the book with the Hidden Mickey and jump into the magical hole that appeared in the wall.

I look around: crowds are swarming, babies are crying, teenagers are screaming... Ouch! A wheelchair just ran over my left foot!

I snap my fingers and look at the map that appeared in my fist. Wait, I'm a goddess! I don't need maps!

Two seconds later, I'm outside Star Tours. I don't see Dipper, Annabeth, or Luke, but I casually walk over to the Churro cart.

"One churro please," I tell the vendor.

"That'll be $3.75."

WHAT?! Since when did a stick of dough and sugar cost that much? But since Demeter's going to make me eat cereal for lunch, I hand the guy my money.

As I eat my churro, I completely forget about my friends.

I know I should keep looking for them, but my mind doesn't want to. My legs Cary me away from our meeting place. Wait, I'm immortal, why is a piece of cinnamon controlling me? I can't move my legs, I can't change into a rat. This is bad.