The Engineer wants to have a talk with him.
He wonders if it's a good idea to make a will.
The Texan had ambushed him after breakfast, arranging a meeting in the lab tonight to discuss "team dynamics." It's the most thinly veiled way to say "I want to talk about you getting frisky with Soldier" Demo's ever heard, but he doesn't dare miss it. Certainly whatever Engineer plans for him are can't be as bad as what would happen if he doesn't show.
When he arrives at the lab, Engineer is tinkering with one of his machines. That's a bit of a relief; at least he isn't one hundred percent focused on the Demoman.
"Howdy, Demo," he says, not looking up. "Take a seat."
"I'll stand, thank you."
"Sit," Engie commands.
Demo sits.
After a minute, Engie finishes what he's working on and pulls out a chair. He leans forward, mechanical hand laced through his human one, giving the clear message this is some kind of interrogation.
"Been having fun?"
Demo's mouth goes dry. "Can you be more specific?"
It's pointless to play the ignorance card, but Demo does it anyways.
Engie pushes his goggles onto his forehead. Beneath them, his eyes are a steel blue, cold like the paint on his sentries.
"I'm talking about you and Soldier."
That's what Demo was dreading. Even with respawn, he doesn't want to tangle with the Texan. He hasn't brought his sword to the lab since it is as conspicuous as it is useful, but his srumpy bottle is here, only a few steps away. There are few live bombs down here too, but Demo doesn't want to resort to that. (He doesn't even want to use the scrumpy bottle if he can help it.)
Maybe he can talk the Engineer down? He has to find out just how mad Engie is first, and that means testing the waters.
"What about me 'n Soldier?"
"Don't play games with me, boy."
Demo can't help but let his lip curl. "Boy" is an insult reserved for REDs, and for Scout when he's done something particularly heinous. Engie isn't just regular pissed: he's advanced pissed.
"Me 'n Soldier are just fine, thanks for askin'. Now, unless you got somethin' tae say tae me Toymaker, I'm goin' tae get goin'." Demo stands.
"I do have something to say, so you can just sit right back down." Engie waits until Demo is seated before continuing his speech. "Soldier is a good man, all foam and no beer, but a good man. I don't like seeing him manipulated by people."
"Ha!" Demo barks. "You goin' tae accuse me o' 'corruptin'' him or somethin'? Forget it. You can take your phony concern 'n shove it same place you keep your wrench."
The first flare of real anger sparks across Engie's face.
"You think I don't care about Soldier? That's rich coming from someone who's willing to turn him over to Spy."
Well. That certainly took a turn.
"Spy? What does he have to with anythin'?" Demo scoffs.
"Stop playing dumb, I've had just about enough of that," Engie growls. "Soldier told me how you spilled everything to Spy. Did you even wait a second after seducing him before you betrayed his trust? At first I was willing to live and let live, but this? You're despicable."
Demo's halfway between insulted and relieved. It's all a misunderstanding. He can stop eyeing his scrumpy bottle while planning to kick Engie in the balls.
"Engie," he says, keeping his voice even enough not to trigger the other man, "I dinnae 'seduce' Soldier. I like him. The only reason Spy knows is because he figured it out before either of us."
Engie laughs darkly. "And what you mean by that is Spy's tricked the both of you. Do you know how easy it is to blackmail with information like that?"
Well there's no reason to be rude about it. Demo sighs, relaxing the tension in his shoulder.
"I get it Engie," Demo insists. "I really do. You dunnae want Soldier tae be hurt, and you think me 'n Spy are out to do that. We're nae. I care about Soldier, just as much as you do, and I wouldnae tell Spy about us if I thought he would use the information against him."
Finally, Engie's anger fades a little. He eyes the Demoman, judging the sincerity of his words.
"You know me, Engie," Demo continues, "I'm nae out to mess around, or ruin someone's life. Soldier 'n I make each other happy, and it's nothin' more sinister than that. I promise."
The Engineer takes a breath. "I'll admit, you've seemed like the sort to beguile someone else. But then again, I didn't take you for a sissy in the first place, so what do I know?"
Demo stiffens at the slur. Despite the insult, he knows Soldier is important to both of them, and that's enough common ground to try and make peace.
"It's genuine, what we got." It's also a little weird being poetic in front of the Engineer. "Do you think you can take that on faith, since we both want him tae be happy?"
Demo extends his hand.
Finally, it seems like Engie is convinced. He shakes Demo's hand, firm and unwavering. Demo grins, satisfied with his persuasion skills. Maybe now he can return to the lab in peace.
"But," Engie says, his grip tightening like a vice, "If I find out you hurt him, or break his heart, there will be no place on earth your plaid-loving ass can hide. Are we clear?"
Demo gulps and nods. Maybe he'll leave his scrumpy bottle down here, just in case.
"Me and Engie had a little chat yesterday evening," Demo tells Soldier as he passes him a beer.
They're in the training yard, lying back on a few lifted reclining chairs as they watch the sunset. It had been frustrating, wanting to talk a lot more with one another, but not wanting to ruin the sanctity of the roof with non-Grenades night. This spot is Soldier's idea; a deck above where the ammo is kept that doesn't have a use otherwise. He spotted it while back during rocket-jumping practice, but never considered it until now.
"Really?" Soldier asks, cracking his bottle open. "What about?"
"Oh, you know the ole' 'threaten someone with a shotgun just so he knows you're a ultra-manly arsewipe' routine you do every time your kid gets a new boyfriend. Basically that, only in a creepy basement."
"He threatened you with a shotgun?" Solider balks, beer halfway to his lips. "Why would he do that?"
"Nae a shotgun, but still pretty intimdatin'. If you want the short version, it's because he thinks I'm yankin' you around."
Soldier's face presses into a look of concern, the wheels in his head creaking to life.
"Hey," Demo says, stopping him short, "the two of us worked it out. There's no reason to worry your pretty little head about it."
"Still, he should not be threatening people on my behalf," Soldier insists. "I'm plenty capable of threatening people myself!"
Demo laughs, tilting his head back and feeling the last rays of sun on his face. "That you are, Solly. That you are."
They sit in silence for a few moments, watching the sky turn to a rosy pink. Soldier deems it all right to interrupt.
"So. You think you're my boyfriend?"
Demo clenches his fists nervously. "Well. We've been doin' stuff like this for little over a week. I thought that was an appropriate amount of time to consider us…that."
"You can't be my boyfriend. You haven't asked me to go steady."
Soldier grins at him, and Demo laughs in relief. He turns to Soldier, grabbing his hand in mischievous delight. Using the armrest as support, he props their hands up between them.
"In that case: Soldier, would you like to go steady with me?"
"I would love to, Demoman."
They lean in for a kiss, laughing as they do. This is the way things should be. Out, relaxing, being together. Who could want anything more?
"Perhaps if you stayed out of the way like everyone wants you to, you wouldn't get into so much trouble!"
Spy's usually quiet voice jerks them out of their trance. They pull apart, sharing a startled glance that turns into real panic when Sniper's voice follows.
"I was out of the way, you bloody Spook! Why are you getting so worked up over a fucking mug?"
Demo is halfway out of his chair when the pair round the corner. Spy is hot on Sniper's heels; the Australian power walking like it's the devil himself. He stops when he sees the men in the reclining chairs.
"Why do you two look so guilty?" Sniper asks. "We interrupting your make-out session or something?"
Pure electricity runs through the Demoman, making his mouth flap open like a fish. Thankfully, Soldier still has his wits about him.
"I do not have to takes lessons from you about slinking around looking guilty!" Soldier shouts, shaking his fist. The effect isn't as menacing while he's still sitting down. "This too much like camping that you had to interrupt?"
Being ornery by nature has its perks, and Soldier's temper comes off as normal.
"I wasn't slinking around," Sniper says, rolling his eyes. "I just forgot my mug up here." At his words, he walks forward and picks his mug off the railing.
Spy stands by, looking overly nonchalant, which means he's probably tense as a bowstring. He pointedly doesn't make eye contact with the Demoman.
As Sniper walks back the way he and Spy came, he gives Demo and Soldier one searching look.
"No need to be so strung out, I'm leaving now. You two lovebirds can get back to whatever." With that he's gone, and Demo lets out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.
Soldier leaps to his feet and shouts after Sniper, "Good riddance! This is a porch not a campground!" He continues to hurl insults at the Australian as Demo gets to his feet.
Taking a deep breath, he realizes he's shaking. He looks over at Spy. "That was too bloody close. If we hadnae heard you…"
"I tried to give sufficient warning," Spy nods. "I would complain about being pigeonholed as your designated lookout, but it seems you two need more of my help than anticipated."
"Thanks Spy." Demo rubs his temples. "At least that's over."
"I think not," Spy belies.
A jolt of terror shoots through the Demoman. He shares a look with Soldier, who has finally decided to join him.
"But…he was jokin', right? He wasnae actually sayin'…"
"Perhaps not," Spy agrees. "But what happens when he jokes to the rest of the team? This could get out of hand quickly."
Demo's head sinks further into his hands. His heartbeat seems extremely loud in his own ears, and only quiets when he feels Soldier's hand on his shoulder. He looks to see his boyfriend giving him a look of reassurance, stepping closer and giving his shoulder a squeeze.
"It's okay, Demo. Nothing bad has happened yet," Soldier tells him, and he relaxes despite himself.
Taking a deep breath, he looks between Spy and Soldier. "I should…tell him, shouldnae I?"
Soldier hesitates, and he looks at Spy. The Spy nods.
"I think that would be for the best." He then relents, seeing Demo's expression. "If it would be easier, I could tell him for you."
"Really? You'd do that?"
Spy nods. "I will. Though, I believe I should do so quickly, so the bushman does not cause more damage than he already has."
He bows out gracefully, pursuing Sniper around the corner.
Demo slumps, the stress making him want to curl up on the deck and die. Instead, he wraps an arm around Soldier's waist and draws him into a half hug. They stay like that a few minutes, watching the sunset introspectively.
"We're nae meant for all this sneakin' around, Soldier," Demo notes after a while.
Soldier nods. "Yeah. But we have to. We don't know who's going to be pissed about it."
They stand for a few minutes more, finally moving when Soldier begins to tug Demo towards their chairs.
"Come on. We still have evening to enjoy."
Demo smiles, and joins him at the vista.
