When Hell Freezes Over

"Thank you, for agreeing to meet me, Mr. Morningstar," Chloe said, opening the case file and taking out a picture of the victim. She handed it to Lucifer. Or tried to. He glanced at it and made no move to accept it.

"Why wouldn't I? It's not every day I get kicked out of a woman's house, then asked out on a date by that same woman a few hours later," he replied impishly. Decker rolled her eyes. She'd been in his presence for just minutes and was already done with him.

"Wrong four-letter word. This is a 'case' not a 'date'. A young girl named Lindsay Jolson is missing and we need your help to find her," Chloe outlined, holding up the young woman's picture in his face to be damned sure he'd see it. Having a good look at it he reached up to lower her hand for her and she snatched it back before he could make contact.

"All right, but only because it coincides perfectly with my own intentions," Lucifer responded, with one corner of his lips upturned the entire time, hands in his pockets.

"Which are?"

"To have sex with you, of course!" he exclaimed as if it were the most obvious conclusion one could come to.

Chloe laughed for a few moments until she registered the look on his face. Her amusement disappeared instantly. "You're serious, aren't you?"

"Mmm hmm!" he replied through closed and smiling lips.

"Not going to happen," Chloe said, closing on him.

"I respectfully disagree. The universe keeps bringing us to each other's doorstep, Detective... there must be a reason for it. Don't you want to know why?" Lucifer asked, seating himself comfortably on the hood of her police cruiser, his look quizzical.

"The universe didn't bring you to my doorstep, Lucifer. Your own two feet did. Then they walked you through my locked door and into my friggin' kitchen where I very nearly shot you!" Chloe said incredulously, with anger sitting just on the fringe of her tone.

"How was breakfast, by the way?"

"Good, actually. Thank you f–"

"It's a shame you kicked me out as quickly as you did. Those weren't the only eggs in the house in need of a good scrambling," Lucifer quipped quickly, his tongue finding the tip of one of his canines as he donned the naughtiest smile she might ever have seen.

Chloe bit down on her lips to keep her laughter from coming out. She exhaled to keep herself emotionally even and began reorganizing the pages in her file to bring froward the information he'd need to know if he chose to go in. "Lucifer, I need you to–"

"See? You need me..." Lucifer quipped, rather pleased with the direction things were heading.

"To focus, because you're the one o–" Chloe said, keeping herself tightly reigned in.

"Ooo! I'm the one!" he replied, his expression lighting up with a mischievous smile.

Raising one eyebrow, Chloe continued unphased. "...On the guest list for the 'Players Club' event."

"I don't think I've ever seen someone work so hard to keep their lid on in my life. I really must know what you're keeping under there, Detective," he said, keeping his gaze locked on hers. There was no mistaking what he saw in her eyes, yet what she said next didn't match up.

"Let me be perfectly clear: I will never, ever... ever sleep with you. Get it?" She put one finger to his lips when it looked like he was about to speak. "Good. Now, get in the car," Chloe said firmly.

"Playing impossible to get. Lucifer likes."

"When Hell freezes over, Lucifer."

"I can arrange that rather easily, actually," Lucifer replied happily, snapping his fingers. "Done!" He grinned from ear to ear.

"All right. When the Indians win the Series," Chloe retorted as she opened the car door.

Lucifer rolled his eyes, snapping his fingers to warm things up again in Hell. Resting one arm on top of the car he thought the prospect through for a moment. "Hmmm. Slightly more challenging. Still doable."

"Okay, then. When Russia wins the World Cup," Chloe said, knowing full well they were one of the largest countries in the world that had rarely if ever competed.

"Now that's just sadistic, my dear," he quipped, pointing a chiding finger in her direction. Delighted, Lucifer continued, "Thirty seconds and you're already speaking my language."

"Get in the damned car," Chloe shot back, leaning into it over top of the car, now genuinely irritated.

"Oh, it isn't yet, Detective, but I'd be more than happy to christen it with you."