CHAPTER 2

Finnick Odair had had to deal with a lot in his life, first the hunger games, then the death of his mother and father after he had refused Snow, and then his body being sold to the highest bidder, but despite all of these things he counted himself lucky that he was still able to find some things to make him happy. Like Mags, who loved him unconditionally, the peace that his boat on the ocean brought him and the comfort his district afforded him in familiarity and in distance from the dreaded capitol. Despite everything, they hadn't really broken him. Stripped him yes, sullied him and used him, but they hadn't actually broken him deep down, not like his reputation. He had survived that and more, but the one thing Finnick still wasn't used to was leading children to their imminent death, or the possibility of an even worse fate every year. The guilt is what always had him teetering at the edge, he wasn't broken, but he was fragmented and cracked, like the other victors he surmised, but the constant repetition of coming back empty handed and delivering the families their dead children's tokens as if it in some way made up for their loss, made him sick. Sick and disappointed and guilty, always guilty, that he could have done more, that if he had only tried harder for sponsors or trained them harder, if he only had more time, that maybe, maybe they wouldn't have died.

Then after so many failures he had finally succeeded. At first, he had been hopeful with Annie and Fen, they were both eighteen for starters and both were more than willing to try to fight, Fen especially was promising, he was strong and smart and charming. And Fen and Annie were cousins, he was able to sell that to the sponsors, but they were family and when it came down to it, that was their downfall. Fen died saving Annie, he was able to take down three of the careers by himself before the boy from 1 decapitated him, and Annie had lost it, she would have died too, the district 1 boy's sword was angled to kill her, but then the earthquake happened and the tidal wave came, and Annie outswam them all.

He had finally succeeded, but winning was so much worse, Annie had made it, but at a price, traumatized by her whole experience, he had delivered a broken victor home. When he had to deliver poor Annie to her family, the change was more than apparent, and the guilt was all encompassing, she may as well died with her cousin, because he had delivered just a shell of a person. The matter made even worse, when he had to watch them grieve not one but two losses, delivering Fen's token was the worst part. He could see it in their faces, the shame of feeling relieved that their daughter was alive when their nephew was dead, he saw the guilt crawl into their faces, and that for Finnick was when he felt himself really breaking. His guilt was contagious, and he hated it, he hated the whole situation, and he was angry, at Snow and the Capitol, but even more, he was angriest at himself. He hadn't even realized that he had started crying too until a tear fell on his hand, and then he hated himself, because how dare he be so selfish and cry, when the family in front of him was the one suffering and had an actual reason to. So he felt himself shut down and give in to the cracks and allowed himself to break and give up. Then the family shuffled out of the room and he just stood there, his eyes dead and unblinking, and then he had noticed her. Darya Marlowe, Fen's sister, he had seen her before, he had known her father, he had worked with his. He had died along with his father in the accident Snow had orchestrated because of him.

"I'm sorry," said Finnick, his whisper sounding loud as it echoed in the empty room, surprising him and her, both of them jumping at his voice. Finnick gulped nervously waiting for her reaction, he hadn't meant to speak aloud, he braced himself for her onslaught of insults and yells or maybe if he was lucky, she might even hit him. He watched her form lean toward the table and pick up something before side stepping the table gracefully and making her way toward him until she stopped a foot in front of him and finally looked up. His eyes met hers and Finnick's first thought was that her eyes held more green than gold but that they were brown enough to still be considered hazel. Her skin was so pale that she seemed to glow, but her hair was the exact opposite, her hair so dark that it made the shadows almost gray in comparison of her black waves. Her coloring was so different from the rest of 4, everyone else with sun bleached hair, the darkest hair colors being brownish reds, and their sun darkened skins, their lightest being glowing tans like Finnick's, that he was convinced she had to have been gifted by the female sea goddess from the old stories.

She stepped closer and raised her hands, Finnick closed his eyes tightly waiting for her to slap him, instead he felt her slip something over his head, he opened his eyes in surprise and looked down, it was Fen's token. He watched her pale hands fix the fish pendant to face out properly and lay flat on his chest, and then she spoke and Finnick was more convinced than ever that she had to be other worldly, her voice both soft and soothing like the waves that must have gently pushed her to shore.

"Yellowfish, they were Fen's favorite, mine too." She said smiling sadly.

Finnick could only stare at her not knowing what to do, he didn't know what to say, none of this was going the way he expected, he was waiting for the screams, to be blamed, instead she took him completely off guard and gently embraced him in a hug. Finnick's body stiffened at her touch and he felt her hold him tighter, and then Finnick felt all his broken parts gluing themselves together and he could finally breath, he hadn't realized he had been holding his breath, his exhales hitching with held back tears.

"Thank you," she said quietly as she held him swallowing roughly, tears streaming down her face, before continuing, "for F-Fen and Annie, thank you."

At her words, Finnick returned her embrace desperately, his sobs joining hers in a heart-breaking harmony, and they held each other, until they reduced their sobs to small sniffles, and then she let him go. She parted, with a final squeeze of his hand, and he watched her walk away gracefully, her figure gliding from the room, confident and unfaltering, she never stopped to look back. Finnick hadn't realized until that moment how much he craved to be held.

After that Finnick found himself constantly looking out for her, but she always seemed to appear out of nowhere, as if his past thoughts of her summoned her existence randomly. He noticed her one night at the beach, he was fixing up his newly bought boat, he was just about to call it a day, the sky too dark to be able to do any work anyway, and then he looked out and saw her. He watched as she dove into the water and felt silly when he realized he had been holding his breath with her, breathing only when she came back up for air. She was a good swimmer, and then he remembered, she would be, her mother had been a swimming instructor, she had taught him, then he remembered her hazel eyes, he wondered if she knew she had her mother's eyes. He scoffed at himself, of course she did, it was her mother after all. It was late when he realized he had been sitting in his boat for hours just watching her swim.

Soon after that, Finnick noticed her everywhere, he would see her at the Market Square sometimes, shopping with her little cousins or at the weekend bazaar selling her pretty patterned nets and jewelry. She was very skilled in weaving nets, he could see them spread out on display, some patterned with sea creatures others with fishing tools, or boats, he wasn't the only one to notice he realized, she almost always sold out, he wondered if Mags had taught her too. Finnick had posed this question to Mags one night, when he was fixing dinner for them at her house, he didn't know why but he blushed when Mags had given him an appraising look before offering him a knowing smile. She informed him that she had, and that Darya's late grandmother, had been her best friend, she was the one who taught Mags how to make nets, and that Darya's mother had been her goddaughter and Mags had taught her. When Mags had asked him why he was so interested, he said he had been thinking of buying one of the green nets for his boat. The next time he saw Mags she was standing next to his boat, he had just gotten back from the capitol, he reeked of the sickly sweet stench of synthetic roses and he was desperate to get on his boat and cleanse himself of it in the ocean, she nonchalantly handed him a sturdy green net and left, when he opened it he noticed it was patterned with little woven tridents, it made him smile.

The first time he sees her up close again she catches him off guard, Mags had invited him over for breakfast before the reaping, he was having an especially tough time shaking his bad mood after having spent a month at the capitol, then guiltily, he remembers Annie and Fen. Then the only think he can think of is her and her hug when she suddenly appears and is standing before him. She is carrying a bag of fresh oysters, her hair still wet from her excursion, she's barefoot and her summery white dress clings to her, outlining her form. Her cheeks are flushed and she's slightly out of breath, but she smiles prettily at them and Finnick feels something in his stomach, he figures he must be hungry and realizes he hasn't eaten in days. He briefly heard Mags says his name, but he's not really paying attention and then she's smiling at him and he realizes she must have said something but before he can sputter some form of answer she's gone. He looks to Mags confused.

"Wha-,"He starts to say but is interrupted by her return, she's carrying more bags of oysters and she hands them to him, he takes them dumbly, her supple fingers briefly brushing his, and then his stomach growls. He blushes, embarrassed, but her laugh stops him dead in his tracks and he can't help but join her, it's the first time he's smiled in weeks. Mags looks pleased and a little relieved he realizes; Mags places a mug filled with tea in front of her and hands Finnick an oyster knife. She drinks her tea and he eats oysters and Mags listens happily as they speak about anything and nothing, and then she excuses herself and she's gone, and she doesn't look back.

And that's how it starts, now when he sees her shopping with her cousins, he goes up to her and talks, sometimes shopping with her. Now he finds himself almost every weekend visiting her at her stand, watching her weave stones, shells, beads and string into intricate jewelry, sometimes he even helps her set up or clean up.

He finds out they've been neighbors this whole time, that she's been living with Annie and that for some reason whenever he had gone to visit Annie, she had been out or had been sleeping. He finds out that she loves to swim at night and that she's a night owl, that that's why she's the one to live with Annie and comfort her whenever she has nightmares, because she is already up. Somehow, he finds himself staying over later and later until finally he ends up staying the night and helping her comfort Annie when she has nightmares.

And after months and months he finally tells her about Snow, and what he makes him do, and how her father and his died because of him and she just holds him while he cries and tells him it's not his fault.

And when he has to leave because his company has been requested, she gifts him a cologne that smells like the sea and cedar to help him think of home, in return he brings her back intricate bottles so she can experiment with scents at home. Who knew Darya Marlowe would end up being his best friend, two years after that fateful day in that dark room in the Justice Building.

Finnick curses when he trips over one of the crates on his boat his trident flying over his head and into the water. That's what he gets for getting nostalgic he thinks, it's reaping day today and he's not particularly looking forward to it, he never is, the only comfort he can find with any of it selfishly is that Snow won't be selling his company for the duration of it. That and this is Darya's last year of eligibility, which means she'll soon be free of the games and Finnick, Annie and Mags won't have to worry about her.

Finnick's thoughts are broken when he notices the net moving and going taut, jumping up and dusting himself off he wraps the ropes around his arms and starts pulling, whatever is in the net feels heavier than usual, which pleases Finnick. They'll have enough to can and dry and smoke for Darya's birthday feast in three months.

Finnick pulls and pulls until finally the full net is suspended in the air, Finnick looks at his catch trying to estimate how many he's caught, when a familiar face catches his eyes and he hears himself gasp as he drops his jaw in shock. Their eyes lock and Finnick can't believe the absurdity of the correlation between his thoughts of her and her appearance that he has to laugh in incredulity. He wants to say something stupid like, 'If you wanted to catch up all you had to was ask', or 'Now that you're all up caught up, how goes it with you' but then she yells at him to get her down and he quickly does what she says.

She's kind of cute when she's angry quickly flits through his mind before he notices she's struggling to stand, and he brushes those thoughts aside and runs toward her to help.