A present for Yujonokage. Hope you (and anyone else) enjoy this stupidity.
An explosion.
Debris flew about as the house was destroyed from the inside. Glass flew far into the air and the sound rang out in the area.
A lone man lowered his hat as he walked away from the explosion. His gaze had been hidden by the rim of the hat.
Nothing needed to be said.
The man knew what he had done and what needed to be done.
More explosions filled the sky as aerial ships began to rain their cannon fire upon each other.
The tactics that had been used revolved around one of the aerial ships that was trying to sink the rest of them. The eight ships that floated and made up the large aerial ship began to shift all eight ships up and down to the appropriate attitude as they continued to move through the air.
The man turned to the sky while using his hat to hide the light of the sun.
"Looks like we're on the final act of this fight," he said as he loaded the large, multi-purpose chain-sword-gun in his hand.
He let out a voice while aiming the chain-sword-gun.
It fired with a clawing and tearing attack that rendered the air to nothing.
The attack grabbed hold of one of the ships in the sky and-
.
"What the hell is even going on here?"
Arafune paused the movie he had been watching to turn his head in the direction the voice had come from.
Sitting next to him was the captain of Suwa Squad who looked at the screen with a confused look. His arms were spread out on the back of the sofa and one of his legs was crossed over the other.
"What do you mean?"
Suwa gave him a strange look before looking back at the screen. He then gave Arafune another look over to make sure he was serious.
Sadly, he was.
"Should be pretty obvious what I mean. I got lost halfway through this movie. What's with the big ship - is it even a ship? I mean, look at the thing! It needs eight ships to count as a single ship? What's that even about?"
"Each ship is a part that makes up all of the Azuchi. They all have different meanings, so it only makes sense that they would need more than a single ship to represent it all. …I think."
"You're not even sure!?"
He tactfully turned away to hide his expression.
"I really think you just wanted some inspiration for how you should jump through explosions."
"What do you mean?"
It had been Arafune's turn to ask.
But the look he got in return made him think he didn't want to know the answer.
Even with those feelings, Swa gave his answer while motioning at the screen with his chin.
"Don't try that with me. I know about your habit of jumping out of exploding buildings."
"That has only happened twice."
"As far as I know."
"…"
"See!? There are more times!"
None of them had been planned, but he did find them exciting.
It gave a true action vibe to what he was doing and the coolness factor it gave off was not lost on him.
I've managed to hold back those terrible people from saying anything since the only recorded one of those was against Tamakoma and Suwa Squad.
If any of those terrible people he called friends were to find out that he had a track record with that then there would no doubt be a slaughter with him right in the middle of it all.
Artist: "Oh, uh, are we not supposed to know that?"
Inu: "Kagami-chan, sssshhh! He'll know that we're spying on his date!"
Umi: "Inukai, don't give him the wrong impression. We aren't spying. We are only collecting data on how well the transmission works. Totally not spy and recording this for future use."
Demon Child: "Hey, if we aren't recording this at all, does that give me permission to add this scene to what the queen wants?"
Artist: "You can use send that over to me this time. I'm working with her at the moment, so I'll be the one to work it."
Demon Child: "Got it."
"Those stupid assholes!"
With a snap of his wrist, Arafune threw his phone across the room.
Before it could smash to pieces against the wall, Suwa had rushed forward to catch up. The sound of the device hitting his bare hand could be heard a moment later.
Suwa's laugh followed.
"Looks like you're having a fun conversation again!"
"Please don't say it like they mean well… Those guys take any chance they get to attack."
"And you don't?"
"…"
"That's my win, you know."
Arafune maintained his silence as he was handed his phone.
Opening it, he checked to make sure that none of the others were listening in on their conversation.
Then he double and triple checked it.
You can never be sure with them…
He heard Suwa laugh again at his actions and couldn't help the smile that appeared in hearing it.
Even with the movie being paused, and likely forgotten about, it was nice just having carefree moments like these. Once that had trivial worries and no fighting was needed.
"You know, even if you complain, they're still the first ones you told about us," Suwa said with a grin.
Arafune's smile went down with a sour expression.
They both already knew the truth of the matter.
"I didn't tell them anything. They found out themselves and won't let it go."
"Hm. Yeah, your age group has some people who are pretty good at collecting information."
"At least they haven't told anyone else. They only go at me in the chat or when it's just us. In public it's more subtle, if not there at all."
"Oh? Is that so?"
Hearing the change in the older man's tone, Arafune looked up to see a bitter expression on his face.
In a motion like tossing himself down, Suwa grabbed Arafune and pulled him down so that the two of them were back on the sofa. The difference from before was that Arafune had been positioned to where he was laying on top of Suwa with the older man's arms lazily wrapped around him.
It was a new experience that Arafune found he quite liked.
He couldn't do this if he was a cube.
Arafune thought that as a joke, but in the back of his mind he understood that the situation at the time was anything but.
.
Arafune had been fighting a group battle at the time it had happened, but he had been told the details later on.
One of the new models of trion soldiers from Aftokrator had gotten a hold of Suwa and had transformed him into a cube of trion. The event had had its effect on the members of Suwa Squad who had seen it, but the arrival of Kazama Squad had quickly fixed that. The cube formerly known as Suwa Kōtarō had been rescued by the A-Rank squad.
After that had been done, the cube formerly known as Suwa Kōtarō had been sent back to the base to be examined.
They had mangled to find a way to fix the problem.
The only thing wrong had been that Suwa had not known what happened once he had turned into a cube.
After the invasion had finished, there had been some jokes tossed around about him being turned into a cube. Arafune himself had thrown some over to the older man as well. They were all taken in stride, for the most part.
Kazama-san had barely managed to escape a headlock while Terashima-san just didn't seem to care about it.
Although Suwa had gotten some revenge by talking about a certain fight involving a mailbox and the #3 A-Rank Captain. No one dared to bring it up afterwards, but they all found it too funny to forget.
Still…
What if he hadn't been able to return to normal?
That thought must have crossed Suwa Squad's mind countless times before it even registered in his mind.
He and Suwa had only been people who knew each other at the time, so it likely wouldn't have had as big of an impact as it would have for Suwa Squad. But now…
That thought comes up every now and then.
Those guys, for how terrible they are when attacking their own, do end up helping even more than they attack.
The idiot had started a Wet Man dance with some kelp he had found somewhere while Inukai and Murakami eased his worries in a different way. Hokari and Kagami, being on the same squad as him, had constantly gotten some hits on him for thinking about these sorts of things.
Compared to some other issues they have had, it seems trivial enough. And yet those terrible people still thought about his trivial thoughts and helped him get over it.
He couldn't help the chuckle that came out when he thought about them.
"What's with the laugh? Something funny come up?"
The voice under him brought him out of his thoughts and got him to look down at mirrored grin.
"If I told you it involved those guys, what would you think?"
He paused for a moment, but Arafune already knew that it was just for show.
Everyone had already come to their own conclusions when it came to his age group.
That meant the answer now would be:
"Something fun did happen."
"From an outside view it all looks fun."
"You would be surprised. A lot of people actually stay away when you guys group up."
"That's a good amount of time."
"Exactly." Suwa continued to grin while moving his hands a bit up to fold his arms on Arafune's lower back. "You guys go hard when it comes to attacking each other, but you're also indiscriminate when you do it. Some of them have taken some major blows before from you guys."
"Like who?"
"Mostly your underclassmen. Especially the serious ones who can't handle that much messing around."
"When you bring it up… That explains Narasaka and Kitora at times."
Another laugh came from the man. Arafune found it hard to resist laughing along.
Arafune relaxed more on top of Suwa's chest, going so far as to lazily places head on the man's shoulder and next to his ear.
"So what did they do to make you laugh this time?"
The way Suwa's voice had come out right next to his ear had sent a shiver down his spine and some red to spread across his face.
"I was just reminded of how many problems come up, even when they're trying to help. Actually…more issues usually come up because they try to help out."
"What were they trying to help with?"
"Nothing this time. They were just trying to get a hit in. But they did manage to help me with some trivial thoughts."
"Are you going to tell me what those thoughts were, or are you keeping that a secret?"
Would it be fine to tell him?
They involved Suwa, so it sounded fair that he knew what they were. Anything less than that would mean that he was still clinging to those thoughts even after getting seaweed thrown at his face to cheer him up.
So he made up his mind.
"Does it matter anymore?"
.
The way Arafune had asked that from next to his ear sounded as if he was asking himself that. A question directed towards himself that Suwa just happened to hear.
Arafune had always been a forward type of person, so hearing that kind of question from him only made a frown replace his grin.
He shouldn't have a reason to ask that kind of question.
Even so…
"No. I guess not."
If he turned his head now to face Arafune it would mean he lost. He would have to accept that question and what it meant.
So he refused to look over.
"But would you still tell me if I kept asking?"
"How many times do you plan on asking me?"
"As many times as it takes for you to answer me."
"Then I'll just ignore you."
"Guess I can't let you go now then. Sucks for you, doesn't it?"
"Not really. I'm comfortable like this."
Neither one was giving an inch here.
Both wanted a win over the other, so they made sure not to turn their heads. The moment one of them did, it would be over and the other would win.
But that was also where the difficulty came from.
I want to see his face!
With their heads right next to each other and their voices directly in each other's ears, it was hard to keep from just turning their heads.
It had turned into a game neither one was prepared for.
But that did make it more fun.
In that case…
Suwa smirked to himself as he began to move again.
As long as their heads were next to each other then the sudden game would continue.
So moving was completely fine.
"If you're comfortable then you won't mind me moving a bit."
"How do you plan on moving?"
"Like this… This… And this!"
"Geh! Don't just move your legs like that!"
"It's all fine as long as you don't turn your head, right?"
"Those really were the rules!?"
"Are you afraid you're going to lose?"
"You damn… Fine! Then this is fair too!"
"What are you-"
Suwa's words were cut off by a sudden sound and feeling in his ear. The combination of the two made him jump, making his chest force Arafune's back to go into the air.
"What the hell!?"
"Hahaha! I didn't think you would jump like that!"
Suwa found his eyes beginning to move to the side and quickly correct that.
Arafune was playing unfair and the both of them knew it. Using his breath to blow some air into his ear while making a small noise had been something that started to put him on edge.
It quickly became a dangerous situation.
I just wanted to know what was wrong with him! How did it turn into this!
The realization hit him.
A device that had been thrown before was now safely in Suwa's pocket. There had been some vibrations from it during this strange battle, but he had ignored them the moment the air went into his ear.
But now he realized his mistake in doing that.
He's still one of them!
He quickly pulled out the phone that had been in his pocket. There was no reason to unlock the phone since there were messages just on the lock screen.
Inu: "Umi, Umi! You still have things connected, right!?"
Umi: "I'm still testing things out, yes. Why do you want to know?"
Inu: "Because I can't hear what's going on on Arafune's side!"
Demon Child: "Yeah, it's kind of annoying not knowing the full situation that I'm going to be sending over."
Ōji: "Does Pokari know what's going on?"
Pokari: "I would have already told everyone, if I did know."
Everyone: "That's true…"
Suwa found himself wanting to throw the phone at the wall now.
Those people really were terrible.
But…
I can't even focus when he's still blowing in my ear!
He was at a complete disadvantage. His position underneath Arafune had backfired and now all he could do was keep himself from jumping again. There was absolutely no helping his lower parts though.
He had already lost with that half.
Losing by turning his head would mean a second win for Arafune and that was something he wanted to avoid here.
At the moment they were tied.
With this being the case…
I need to play a little unfairly too!
So he moved.
But unlike before, he did not move his entire body.
Instead, he only moved his head.
.
The sound that had come from Arafune's mouth was not like anything either one of them had expected to hear.
His voice had gone a bit higher in pitch, but not enough that it wasn't distinguishable from his normal voice.
"Th-that was!"
"Heh heh! If you wanna blow into my ear, I'll just have to bite on yours!"
The score between the two of them was currently a tie with each having a single win. This change of developments had made it so that either one could get that final win over the other.
But…
"There's still something…I can do…"
With their faces so close to each other, Suwa easily heard what had been said. The more subdued way it had been said had its own effect on him, but his refusal to lose let him power through it.
What had started to get to him had been the meaning behind those words.
Arafune had done something that managed to get them to tie. It felt like all he could do at the time for it, so there shouldn't have been anything else.
It was a desperate offense that should not have had a follow up.
But there had been one.
There was a followup that Suwa was completely unprepared for.
"I can't believe…I have to do something…that idiot taught us…"
That sounded like another dangerous situation.
If that particular person was involved with this next action then it meant that it really was Arafune's last chance for victory.
Then it happened.
That had reached his ear.
.
"Kō-ta-rō-saaaaaan~"
.
The reaction was immediate and threw both of them from the sofa.
Suwa sat with a start, accidentally tossing Arafune off of him. His hand went directly for his ear as red covered his face.
His eyes soon found Arafune's grinning face and…
"I win!"
It was completely unfair.
But that had to be expected when it came to that age group at this point. Everything that counted as "unfair" was just another tool for them to use against other people, or even themselves.
And Arafune had used that unfairness perfectly.
Suwa ignored the grin on Arafune's face, the phone that had slipped from his hand, and even the fact that he had just lost.
The seriousness of the situation had been long gone at this point and now he was feeling the full might of what they had just done. He needed some relief.
So his body learned forward to capture the younger one again. This time he would make sure not to go easy at all with him.
They were both men after all. He was sure Arafune could take whatever came next.
In retaliation to the action, Arafune stretched his arm to grab his phone while moving his body back.
He made a quick roll out of the way before jumping to his feet. With Suwa on the floor because of his dive, he had a perfect chance before him.
"Would you look at the time! Guess I should be going now!"
In another bout of unfairness, he rushed towards the door before Suwa even had the chance to get up.
His hand reached for the knob to open the door.
The sound of Suwa getting up could be heard, so he threw himself out of the door with a laugh that echoed in the area.
A harder sound could be heard from behind him. Suwa had ran into the closed door.
The last thing he heard was a shout of, "Don't just leave me like this!"
The shout had gotten another laugh out of him.
As a finisher to his third win, he let out his own voice.
"Just make due with a side dish!"
