12.
After lunch the four all walked back into the building toward the maths block. They all had Erwin next for maths. Levi hoped there wouldn't be any more discussions about the school shootings since he didn't want his redhead friend to get worked up again. He hated seeing Izzy upset, always had. It was probably because she was normally so cheerful. Levi was impressed at how quick Harlow managed to calm her down, it normally took ages considering how stubborn Izzy was. The blue-haired brat really was becoming a big part of their group in such a short time. And honestly, Levi couldn't have been happier.
They got to the classroom a few minutes later and Erwin opened the door straight away letting them in. He was a very serious and punctual teacher. Levi had learnt that the hard way. The classroom was similar to Hanji's but slightly bigger. The tables were still in twos though. Before anyone could react Farlan turned to Harlow and pulled her over to one of the back tables. Levi hated how jealous he felt seeing the two together. He looked down at Izzy who also had a frown on her face. Perhaps she was as jealous as Levi was, she probably wanted to sit next to Harlow as well. The pair looked at each other before shrugging and getting a table as close to the others as they could, but other people had already filled in the ones directly next to and in front of them so they wouldn't be able to talk to each other. Levi had a feeling Farlan couldn't be happier.
Levi tried really hard not to look at them the whole lesson, but he was struggling. Every now and then he heard Harlow's laugh and he couldn't help himself. It was such a beautiful sound; it couldn't not catch his attentions. But Levi had prepared for this jealousy. He knew he would feel it he just underestimated how strong it would be, especially since only 2 hours before he was the one sitting next to the blue-haired brat.
Levi sighed to himself, easily solving another one of the equations on the worksheet handed out by the teacher, to re-fresh their memories. Izzy turned and smirked at him.
"Jealous?" Izzy asked quietly gesturing to the others. Harlow was currently helping Farlan out with a problem. Levi glanced at them before scowling at the redhead.
"No." Levi said simply, turning his attentions back to his sheet. Izzy sighed in annoyance, flicking Levi on the arm. Levi turned to glare at her.
"Of course, you are. She's a catch and you know it. Your just in denial." Izzy smirked. Levi rolled his eyes. Oh, how wrong Izzy was this time. He wasn't in denial at all. He knew very well how much he liked the brat.
"No." Levi repeated, knowing if he was boring enough in his answers Izzy would eventually get fed up and change the topic.
"So, if I were to tell you, they were kissing right now. You wouldn't care right?" Izzy said slyly. Levi looked in their direction, feeling thick sicky dread in his throat. The dread quickly bubbled into anger as he saw them acting normally. Izzy cackled beside him. "Made you look!" Izzy giggled.
"Shut up, red." Levi mumbled too tired for her games. It would be pushing it to say he got an hour sleep last night. Plus, he was emotionally drained from all this acting. Izzy's face fell serious and she looked at him sincerely.
"You actually like her, don't you?" Izzy asked without any teasing or joking in her voice. Levi wanted to be on the defensive, but he didn't have the energy, so he stayed quiet. "Shit. Levi, I'm sorry." Izzy breathed, probably understanding the situation. Yes, Levi like her but so did Farlan. "What are you going to do?" Levi sighed, knowing it was too late to deny her claim anymore. But it did feel kind of nice admitting it to someone, since he was never going to be able to admit it to Farlan or the brat herself.
"Nothing. Farlan likes her." Levi replied quietly. Izzy frowned.
"Yes, but you're not any less important than him." Levi gave her a look.
"Enough Iz. I made my decision. She deserves a good guy like Farlan. You're not going to mention this to anyone Izzy. I'm serious right now. If you say a single word to either of them, I will never forgive you." Levi warned seriously. Izzy looked conflicted but nodded anyway.
"Fine, but I don't agree with your fucked-up decision. Harlow deserves all the information, I mean, what if she likes you too?" Izzy sighed in annoyance. Levi looked over at the pair laughing together.
"She doesn't." Levi replied in a monotoned voice before getting back to his work. Luckily Izzy sensed his mood and didn't bring it up for the rest of the lesson.
A couple of weeks passed like this and Levi was still hiding his feelings for the blue-haired brat. He was doing rather well if he did say so himself. Farlan hadn't suspected anything and he always was the best at reading Levi. Izzy kept trying to bring it up when they were alone, but Levi made it perfectly clear he wasn't going to speak about it again. He just needed to shove it down until he didn't feel that way anymore. Still the plan was proving to be a difficult one. He tossed and turned every night thinking about the brat. He was distracted when he was around her. He was jealous when he saw her with Farlan.
The two had become closer since and Levi couldn't deny that it made his blood boil. Still, Farlan was happy so he didn't regret his decision to keep the brat in the dark about his feelings. Farlan deserved to be happy. Levi on the other hand, didn't. They sat together every maths lesson and Farlan was always doing what he could to be by the brat's side. Levi let him, knowing how much it meant to him. He would get looks of pity from Izzy all the time when she would catch Levi staring at them. Those were the worst. He hated being pitied.
It was one of those nights that Levi knew he would get no sleep. He decided a walk would be best for him. He pulled on some joggers and a hoodie, grabbing the lord of the flies' book Harlow had lent him. He hadn't been able to finish it yet, since he had a lot more homework from the fillers but tonight would be the perfect opportunity. Levi stepped outside the building and breathed in the icy air. It had gotten a lot colder recently. He didn't mind the cold though. He was used to it. England was rarely ever sunny, the cold actually made him feel less homesick.
He walked along the pathed streets, taking in the stars and the moon. It was late. Almost 4 in the morning so the skies were still dark. Levi didn't mind though. He liked the darkness.
Around 10 minutes later he had made it across the campus and into the woods. He breathed in the smell of oak and earth and instantly felt a calm across his chest. He went in deeper and sighed in relief when he saw the waterfall. And yet that relief faded instantly when he saw someone sitting down by it. There was only one other person in this school who was crazy enough to be out here at such a late hour.
Levi's eyes widened and he thought about retreating but shook the idea out of his head. He was being ridiculous. They were friends, right? Friends could hang out at night in a forest, right? They had done it before. Ugh, I'm such an insecure pile of shit these days. He took a deep breath, steeling himself before walking up beside the brat and leaning back on a tree opposite her, sitting like they were during the morning she sketched him. Harlow's eyes widened in surprise before she smiled at him and turned to face him. God, he had missed that smile. They hadn't had much of a chance to talk alone recently. Shitty Glasses never let anyone get a word in during her classes.
"Hey! Back again my stalker friend." Harlow teased with a wide smile. Levi glared playfully.
"Seems like it." Levi replied. Harlow laughed, tucking some blue hair behind her ear. It was hanging freely tonight. She was wearing a short-sleeved top and some leggings. She looked fucking freezing. Levi noticed her teeth were slightly chattering as she spoke. Idiot. Levi rolled his eyes at her and took off his hoodie before throwing it at her. Harlow caught it and looked at him quizzically. "I'd rather not have to carry your body back to campus after you freeze to death." Levi deadpanned. Harlow laughed.
"Thanks." Harlow smiled, pulling on the jumper. It was way too big for her. She looked adorable. Levi didn't realise he was smiling until Harlow's jaw dropped open in surprise. Levi's eyes widened and he quickly returned to his bored look. But apparently it was too late. "You were smiling!" Harlow said excitedly. Levi frowned at her.
"No. I wasn't." Levi turned his head away to prevent a blush. He would surely die of embarrassment if that happened.
"Yes. Yes, you were!" Harlow grinned, bringing her legs up to her chest and hugging them. Levi rolled his eyes at her.
"Brat. Don't push it." Levi warned dangerously. Harlow tried and failed to cover up her smile.
"But you looked so happy." Harlow added but covered her mouth quickly when Levi sent her a famous death glare. Levi had to supress another smile; she was too fucking cute sometimes. "Fine, fine. I'll stop. I won't mention it again, just stop looking at me like that I feel like I'm about to burst into flames." Harlow whined and Levi smirked but did what he was told and stopped attacking her with his eyes. He had missed the brat. He forgot how amusing she was.
"So why are you out here?" Levi asked after a few moments of silence. Harlow reached next to her and picked up her A3 sketch book. The same one that she used to sketch Levi.
"I was struggling a bit in my dorm. It's so stuffy in there, Izzy likes it baking. So, I packed up my paints and came out here to work on it. I finished it an hour before you showed up." Harlow smiled to herself. Levi wondered how long she had been out here. No wonder she was freezing.
"So, I can see it now?" Levi asked. Harlow nodded and passed over the book. He passed a few different paintings before he got to the one, he was looking for. He felt his eyes widen in surprise. It was amazing. It was... well it was him. But somehow it looked better. The paints were blended perfectly, the background was black and yet it didn't interfere with the black of his hair. His eyes were the centre though. Just like she said. It was almost creepy how real they looked. This would definitely get a good mark. He hesitated before closing the book and passing it back to Harlow.
"Does it have your approval?" Harlow smirked, resting it back down beside her. Levi gave her an 'are you serious?' look. Harlow laughed in response.
"You know it's amazing, brat. Don't act dumb."
"Thank you. Really, I couldn't have done it without you." Harlow said genuinely with a smile.
"Your welcome." Levi replied and they both fell back into a comfortable silence for a bit. Levi didn't realise how much he had been missing the brat's company. Just to have her here with him was relaxing. He could probably fall asleep right now.
"You know," Harlow started out of nowhere, "I feel like I haven't seen much of you lately. Yes, we see each other every day but... I don't know it's hard to explain." Harlow sighed, her eyes still on the waterfall. Levi almost smiled knowing the brat missed him. Or was trying to say she missed him. He knew what she was getting at as well. They hadn't been together like this since the last time they were here.
"Yeah, your right." Levi replied. He felt this heart start to beat faster. They were skirting around a dangerous topic.
"We should come out here more often. It's so peaceful." Harlow sighed in relaxation and leant back on the tree, closing her eyes. She looked completely at peace. Levi was the opposite right now. What did she mean by that? Is she just suggesting each of them should spend more time in the woods or did she mean they should spend time in the woods together? Levi had no idea what to say, his heart beating dangerously fast now. Luckily Harlow opened an eye before turning and smiling at him before he could reply. "How about this, whenever one of us plans on coming down here and wants some company they text the other. Sound good?" Levi smiled internally. He wondered how many times the brat came down here by herself. Did they always just miss each other, she probably normally came down here earlier than this.
"You should be sleeping this time of night." Levi narrowed his eyes at her. Harlow narrowed her eyes right back.
"So, should you." Levi smirked.
"Touché." Harlow chuckled.
"Come on, Levi. I come down here every other night anyway, it'll be much more interesting with someone else. It's not like I stay here all night." Harlow whined. Levi let out a puff of amusement. It felt wrong, like he was deceiving Farlan or something, but he didn't think he could deny the brat. Plus, he didn't like the idea of her being out here by herself all the time. He didn't sleep much anyway, and the brat always seemed to calm him down as well. Maybe this would be good for him.
"Fine. If I'm coming down here and I feel like having company, I'll let you know." Levi sighed while Harlow grinned in triumph.
"Great! I'll do the same." Harlow smiled and closed her eyes again. Levi smiled, knowing she couldn't see and picked up his book, opening to the page he finished on. He did come out here to read after all. It was a while later before anyone talked again. Levi was pretty sure Harlow had fallen asleep before she spoke up. "What part are you up to?" Harlow asked in a tired voice, her eyes still closed. Levi didn't know when she had realised, he was reading her book but didn't deem it important enough to bring it up.
"Simon just fainted." Levi replied, head still engrossed in the book. He knew he didn't have to specify any more. It was clear the girl had read this book plenty of times. Harlow hummed in recognition.
"That's a good bit." Harlow yawned and rubbed her eyes. Levi turned to look at her. She was clearly tired why wouldn't she just go back to bed. That's when it hit him. She was waiting up with him because of his insomnia. Damnit this girl was incredible and it only mad him like her more. She was not helping his 'push the feelings down deep' plan at all. Levi closed the book and stood up. Harlow moved a bit at the noise but didn't open her eyes. Levi walked round her and picked up all her stuff before nudging her foot with his. Harlow opened a sleepy eye and blinked at him in confusion.
"Come on brat. I'll walk you back." Levi said. Harlow yawned again before standing. He saw a light blush on her cheeks when she realised, he was carrying all her things.
"Are you going to sleep?" Harlow asked tiredly. Levi let out a puff of amusement. She was such a stubborn brat.
"Maybe. Not that there's much night left." Levi replied as they started walking back towards the building. Harlow smiled sleepily.
"True. At least its Saturday tomorrow... or today, I guess. Hey Levi, can I ask you a question?" Harlow asked.
"Sure."
"You don't have to answer it. I wouldn't mind considering how I haven't answered any of yours." Harlow chuckled humourlessly. Levi gave her a playful glare.
"Spit it out, brat." Harlow hesitated probably trying to find the right way to phrase her question.
"Is there a reason you have insomnia?" Harlow asked carefully. Levi felt himself tense. No one had ever asked that before. Levi took a moment, deciding whether he should answer truthfully or not. For some reason, he didn't want to lie to the girl. He wasn't going to tell her the whole story but maybe just one truth would be alright. At the end of the day he wanted her to trust him. Maybe one day she would open up about her secrets as well. Levi took a deep breath before replying.
"I guess... I have this nightmare. Or memory really. It's always the same and it's so fucking real sometimes I forget where I am when I wake up." Levi replied honestly. He didn't meet Harlow's eyes. He'd hate to see the pity that was probably in them.
"I have a nightmare like that. On the same night every year. I've stopped trying to sleep on that day all together because I don't want to see it again. Must be hard to have that every night." Harlow said. Levi was surprised at her response. Her tone wasn't full of pity like he thought it would be, when he looked in her eyes, they were full of understanding.
"Yeah, it is." Levi said. It was weird finally talking about his nightmares with someone. But it was also nice. "What day do you get yours on?" Levi asked curiously. Harlow smiled sadly.
"My birthday, January 13th." Harlow replied. Levi felt a pang of empathy for the girl. What happened on her birthday for her to get such horrible nightmares every year? Levi looked at the brat to find her shivering slightly. For some reason Levi didn't think it was due to the cold. Whatever happened, she wasn't ready to talk about it yet.
"I see."
"Do Izzy or Farlan know?" Harlow asked after a few moments of silence.
"Farlan doesn't but I accidently told Izzy one night when I was drunk." Levi replied with a shrug. He wasn't worried about her telling them any of this, they had some sort of unspoken agreement that whatever they shared with each other remained a secret. It was actually quite refreshing. Harlow laughed beside him. Levi turned and quirked a brow at her behaviour.
"Sorry, I just can't see you drunk." Levi smirked.
"And you never will." Harlow frowned.
"Aw, come on, please."
"No."
"Please!"
"No."
"Mark my words I will see you drunk, Levi. Even if I have to infiltrate a Starbucks and spike your tea when we get back to England." Harlow joked. Levi let out a small laugh at that, not being able to help himself. Harlow looked at him like he just grew two heads.
"Don't mention it." Levi warned, Harlow laughed but nodded anyway.
"So, you're coming back to England after Graduation?"
"Yep, can't wait! It's insane how much I miss London. I would give my right hand to see a red double decker bus roaming around these shitty streets." Levi had to prevent a laugh again. This girl's humour was basically his. How odd. Well it made sense how she thought Levi was funny now. They shared the same dark humour. Yet another thing they had in common. Levi was starting to forget why he was holding back his feelings. This girl was so perfect for him.
"Agreed." Levi sighed. He really did miss his country. Only a year and a half to go. It was then that Levi realised they had made it back to the school. They stopped outside and Levi passed back all of Harlow's belongings. Harlow smiled and accepted them with a 'thanks' and a small blush. Levi had to force down a blush of his own. The girl was too cute looking at him like that. They said they're goodbyes. Levi was about to turn to leave when Harlow spoke again.
"Oh, don't you want your jumper back?" Harlow asked, looking down at the black hoodie.
"Nah, keep it. Maybe it will remind your bratty brain to wrap up warmer when you go outside." Levi retorted before walking away. He heard a laugh from Harlow but didn't look back. Why he had let her keep the jumper? He had no idea. It was actually one of his favourites. Did he just want her to have something of his unconsciously? Levi didn't think he was the sentimental type, but he didn't really have any other reasons. Levi sighed, annoyed at himself. That was not a 'friend' thing to do. He could have said you can borrow it. What he did was a 'boyfriend' thing. And he had done it so easily as well. Shit.
Levi made it back to his dorm and shut the door, pulling off his t-shirt and joggers before sinking into bed. Despite his recent fuck up, the few hours with Harlow were pleasant and he didn't regret them at all. He felt more at peace and when he closed his eyes sleep was quick to take him.
