Two weeks ago, red silk had arrived at the front gate.

Wrapped in crisp paper, and tied with gold thread; it was clutched in the hands of one of his men.

Mr Haengrang received the parcel with a bow, and then glanced her way at the window.

She turned away.

Later, when Mrs Haman placed the silk at her bedside and left the room, she shoved it away onto the floor. It was tempting to crush the fabric, to tear it to shreds, but that would just be a waste of her own futile energy.

She was drained, hollow.

And there were no words left to be said.

This was not a joyous occasion, after all; and there had been no mock battle among their families, no fighting for one's luck, as was the usual tradition.

A week ago, she had been banned from leaving the house. In her bed, she held Eugene's letters close to her heart, repeating the mantra that everything would be okay soon. She slept fitfully that night, her mind trapped in empty nightmares.

Her new "fiancé" had been to their place a few times now, following the code of conduct as the soon-to-be son-in-law. It didn't matter what he said, the assurances he gave to her grandfather. The assurances her grandfather would then give to her, tearful and pained, words burning with agony.

Lee Wan Ik had wanted to humiliate him, but her grandfather wasn't going to back away, to let the enemy win over. He would never allow himself to lose, even if the fact that his granddaughter being married off to a butcher's son was killing him inside. And so he held onto his pride with the weight of an iron brick in his throat.

But she just felt like the tossed out wrapper from a candy.

Four days ago, her face was smothered in rice powder, and her cheeks daubed with red patches.

Her hair was held back with jewelled hairpins, and a veil was set over her shoulders.

Her fingers came smeared with red after she forgot the rouge on her cheeks.

She later stood opposite her almost "husband" in the courtyard, eyes downcast, vary of everyone around her. Vary in particular of Lee Wan Ik's slimy presence. For blackmailing her into this hellish settlement, she wished he would die a painful death at the end of her rifle, and that the rest of the guests would all just disappear. But silence was expected, and to be maintained, else she risked embarrassment and bought shame to her family.

The ceremony had then begun, and she bowed twice, her back as stiff as a board. She received four bows in return, and the wedding was complete.

Afterwards, a group of lantern bearers bought the palanquin over for her, and they set off to his place. She kept her eyes downcast the entire time they were on road, her thumb tracing the cranes embroidered on her sash. By the time they got to his house, and that's how she will always refer to it as, his house, she hardly paid attention to the timbered dwelling and its surroundings. Or to the jeers and mocking remarks from the crowd.

There were no parents or guardians to greet and pay her respects, so she decided to lock herself in the room allocated to her on the top floor.

She didn't sleep at all that night.

The next morning, she returned home to the comforting arms of Mrs Haman, who wiped her swollen eyes and removed her smudged makeup. This was all another part of tradition, and she was enacting a play on stage.

By the evening, he arrived again at her house to eat dinner and stay the night, then returned shortly at dawn. More traditions, useless and disdainful to her sense of dignity. She ignored every moment he came into view, she ignored him and left him alone, never allowing an opportunity for a word.

There were no words left to be said.

But today, she was at his house for good.

From today, she will keep up all civil pretences while planning her next step.

Even if she may be his wife according to law, it did not mean she would be his wife in any other context. Their relationship was only as valid as the wedding papers they exchanged, the ones she was supposed to safeguard as much as her life. That's all it meant, and that's how easy it was to end everything.

Go Ae Shin had become the wife of Gu Dong Mae, and the sentiment held no place in her heart.

It never had, and never will.


Life had always thrown blade sharp swerves his way, but never had the circumstances felt so unpredictable.

So bizarre, that it hardly sounded true to his own heart.

And yet, was this not what he had always wanted?

To have her close to him, to have her in his sight, in his existence.

To just have her.

But nothing about their union was organic. Nothing about it was even special or graced with the soft, tender feelings that he had only ever dreamt about. He was left instead with a sour taste in his mouth and a dejected void in his chest, because she didn't want this.

She had never, in her dreams or her aspirations, had ever wanted this.

Lee Wan Ik had thought himself to be tricky, that by blackmailing himself and Ae Shin in marriage, it would bring humiliation to Lord Go and his family. And it did, there was no doubt about that. Her grandfather was just barely holding it together. The only consolation he received was the assurance of his granddaughter's protection. Her safety mattered above all else, even if it meant that his reputation was tarnished in the public's eye.

That evening, he couldn't eat his dinner, because she had left her own food cold and uneaten at the table. It was his responsibility to bring her out from her room, and to force her to eat and take care of her health. Except that he didn't have such personal authority over her, no matter how society or the legal system perceived their relation.

Be that as it may, Lady Go Ae Shin had become his wife, and even if she was utterly stubborn, even if she despised him to the core, she was now his. And no one will take her away from him.

It was just ironic that by being tied in red silk to him, she was now further from him than before.

Silk could cut skin, and silk could cut a relationship that was always bound to be doomed.


She would have appreciated the Japanese architecture of the house if her dear homeland hadn't been terrorised by their soldiers. And if the natives of this soil wouldn't have been clinging to the Japanese ways.

Therefore, it was like salt rubbed into a wound, for her to not only leave her home and be forced into an outlandish relationship, but to now have the root of all misery thrown into her face at every hour of the day.

No, this wasn't the way to live, and it's not how she was going to live. Soon, very soon, she will be out of this arrangement. She just needed some time to plan. And cooperation from a certain someone.

After making sure the terrace shutters were closed, Ae Shin sits down at her writing table. She is unfurling a parchment roll when she hears the rustling of curtains at the entrance of the room.

It was the mute woman, the one who read tarot cards.

Her eyes were red, and her mouth pinched tight. Ae Shin felt that the woman's frostbitten, silent fury was sharply directed at her.

She didn't know much of her except that she was already living here. She also didn't know of her name, or her relation to Dong Mae. Was she his relative? Or his plaything for passing time? The thought disgusted her more than it should, but she knew it was in response to the young woman's plight. Regardless, she decides to address her.

"I apologise, I don't mean to—"

Cutting her off, the fortune-teller rushes past her to the other end of the room. She kneels down at a bookcase and retrieves a few books, slamming them down next to her.

Just as she came, she quickly leaves the room without looking at her, books in arms.

Ae Shin realises the fortune-teller was in love with him.

And now her heart had been shattered into a thousand pieces.


Dong Mae was contemplating on whether to shut all the doors and windows in the house. In the end he decides not to, because he knew that with her determination, Ae Shin would find a way to escape anyway. Therefore, it was pointless trying to lock her in, even if that's what he needed to do.

He cannot stop her from completing her missions, from saving her nation. And he cannot stop her from meeting Eugene. He had promised her grandfather of her safety, and so he had every right to prevent her from engaging in either of those activities. But the consequences would be unpleasant if he were to do so.

Yet a part of him wanted exactly that, to push back against her, to get a rise out of her. For her to finally acknowledge him here.

Feeling hungry, he heads over to the kitchen for a quick meal before he had to leave. Sliding open the doors, he finds Hotaru sitting at the unlit stove.

She was crying again.

He had been hesitant at first to keep her at home after the marriage. But pity overtook better judgement, and he thought it cruel to send her away so abruptly.

Now, however, he was re-thinking his decision. He hadn't realised that she would be affected to such an extent by the marriage. She cared for him, that much he knew, but he had never considered just how deep her feelings were. If anything, it was now unfair for her to continue staying here. She deserved more, and she deserved better. He will discuss with Yuzo, and continue to look after her, but from a safer distance.

Dong Mae sits down beside Hotaru at the stove, and she immediately takes his hands in her own. He lets her hold them, and lets her tears fall over. He had tried to explain the situation several times, but at each instance, she shut down and wouldn't hear anymore.

So when he tells her of his final decision, he lets more teardrops soak his kimono, tears filled with anger; sorrow, and he feels the blow of her fists against his chest. He accepts her heartache, and lets her stay by his side for a long time.


At the striking of the eleventh hour at nightfall, Ae Shin quietly leaves the house and makes her way through the streets. Gu Dong Mae wasn't home, and even if he was, he wouldn't be able to stop her. She will always be in charge of her own interests, at least.

Not too long after, she finds Eugene waiting in the alley near the apothecary, away from the streetlamp's glow.

Thoughts abandoned and forgotten as she pulls her scarf down, she soon has her arms around him, with her face tucked into his shoulder. She stays there for some time, feeling his warm hand at her back. Thinking of a different future. A better time, she hopes.

Finally, she looks up at him, and he speaks.

"You are now married."

She can feel how he tries to keep his voice composed, neutral; but she catches the pain in his words, and the hurt betrayed through his eyes.

She wasn't going to have any of this.

The world could take away her status and her autonomy as a Joseon woman, but she wasn't about to let anything come between her heart's freedom.

Ae Shin stands tall, not breaking her gaze from him. "And what does it matter if I'm supposedly married?" She crosses her arms, digging her fingers into the thick fabric of her coat. "It's only in the eyes of the law."

"The laws matter, Ae Shin," Eugene replies without a blink.

She rounds on him. "You matter more to me."

He stays still, unprovoked. "It's not proper for you to meet me like this anymore."

"Then I will meet you in ways that are 'proper'."

She tries to argue, that Gu Dong Mae couldn't stop her if he wished, that he even knew she would try to meet him. She argues that it didn't matter what she did, because he had no say in her choices. But Eugene doesn't fuel the fire of her indignation. He cared for her safety first, too.

"My actions are out of respect for both you and him," he says sadly.

Eyes now stinging with unshed tears, Ae Shin looks away. Even if she didn't quite understand the complex relation he shared with Gu Dong Mae, she at least knew of what respect entailed, and of what Eugene meant to her. Wholeheartedly, she was sure of her own feelings.

"I promise to be out of this temporary arrangement soon," she replies thickly, taking his hands.

Eugene looks at her wistfully. "I will wait then for the day that happens."

She beams at him, despite the lump in her throat.

"Find my letter at the apothecary in a week's time."

Eugene nods, and tipping his hat, he bids farewell and disappears down the alley.


By the seventh day, he decides that their silence had lasted long enough.

She could not avoid him for much longer, and neither could he. He had given her space, left her alone to come to terms with her new life, but this was not the way they will live, not when they were in the same house. In their house.

There were important matters to discuss.

Dong Mae walks up the stairs to her quarters, but pauses in his step half-way through.

When he thinks about it, he wasn't worthy of her attention, really.

Why was he forgetting his place? She was still a noblewoman, and he didn't deserve even a single word from her.

If this was the way she wanted to live, if this was what suited her; to remain in silence, and out of his way, then perhaps it was enough. Then perhaps that was all he should be content with. He had to prevent himself from thinking any further than that. Theirs was no normal relationship, in essence. And right now, they were not even a truthful couple.

With these thoughts, Dong Mae turns to walk back down the stairs, until he hears the doors open from above.

Ae Shin was standing in the frame, looking down at him. Her hair was tied in a braid as it usually was. She hadn't styled it back with a pin, the symbolic hairstyle of all married women.

But his heart still leaps at the sight of her.

He hadn't seen her since the last day of their wedding celebrations, and only his servant had contact with her when serving meals.

"Come inside," she says, her face belaying no emotion.

He goes back up the stairs, and follows her inside. She gestures for him to take a seat on the futon opposite from her. Ae Shin takes a seat herself, with her writing desk in front.

He notices the closed shutters to the terrace outside. The lack of natural light made the room look darker than usual.

She sits up straight, and folds her hands on the desk when she speaks.

"I want us to end this arrangement soon, and I need you to help me end it."

He chooses to not reply to her question, knowing that was the reason for him being up here. "Have you been well, Agassi? I hope the food is to your liking."

Ae Shin glares at him, and her voice is stern this time. "I only want to discuss our arrangement, and nothing else. I want to go back to living my life, of which you're not a part of. Not in this sense, anyway."

It hurt, he couldn't lie. Her words were sharper than any sword that had cut his skin. Sharper even than the cut of silk. He will heal himself later, he decides. She was more important right now.

"I mean it sincerely, Agassi, that I would end this right now if it were only up to me." Dong Mae says, holding her gaze. "But I promised your grandfather that I will protect you at all costs. And it will take some time before we are able to take any action."

Dong Mae recalled the few days before their wedding when he was at the hotel, in the room with Hina. They were discussing the absurdity of life, and how little control everyone had in their destinies.

Hina didn't bring her father into their conversation much; it felt too painful to recall his blackmailing tactics, of which she had been on at the receiving end. But when she leaned in to pour him another cup of tea, she whispered in his ear; that she would understand him if her father shows up dead some day.

"Just finish him off. Once he's gone, we can quietly finish this, too," Ae Shin says, as though speaking about the day's weather.

"Not yet. Maybe one day, but now is not the time. It's too risky to do anything while we are being watched."

Ae Shin stands up abruptly, appalled by his response. "That's a funny thing for a mercenary to say. You and your men have never had trouble ending someone's life without a fuss before." The frown deepens on her mouth as she continues. "You know what it seems like? That you want this arrangement."

Dong Mae doesn't respond.

"And it makes a lot of sense, actually." Her voice is rising now as she moves towards him, hands bunched into her dress. "You're not affected like me because you wanted this. You had always wanted this, am I not right?"

She was speaking the absolute truth, but it was just hurting so much.

He clenches his jaw, and tries to control his thinning temper when he replies. "Agassi, do not offend me like this. I had no say in this marriage, either—"

"It's not a marriage. Don't mistake your words, Gu Dong Mae, we are not husband and wife."

Dong Mae decides that it was best if they ended it here, for now. He may not be able to withstand the onslaught much more.

"We will finish our discussion later, Agassi," he replies, walking away from her, his heart prickling with thorns.

But when he leaves the room, he doesn't regret anything.

Because he would be at the metal end of her cruelty hundreds of times if it meant that he could only see her.

If it meant that he would know she was alive.


My dear readers, how did that go? It's my first time writing an arranged marriage AU. I also did some research on Joseon wedding customs (and referencing back to the show by each episode, so much to keep track of!). I hope everyone's characterisation is okay.

As always, share all your thoughts and comments with me xx