Thank you Nexadi and Hurinturin for your wonderful feedback on the previous chapter :)
Now that she resided in Jingogae she had to be more careful when travelling outside.
For this reason, Ae Shin would first stop at the apothecary when going for her shooting practice. From there, her servants from back home would have her palanquin ready for her to visit Gunner Jang's hut.
Gu Dong Mae's right hand man—Yuzo was his name, she learned, would escort her from the house to the apothecary. He never questioned why she was going there, or even speak to her at all. He had showed up at the door one morning and explained it was his duty to be at her side during her outings. He had even been in communication with Mrs Haman and Mr Haengrang, and knew the days of her practices and lessons at school.
She hadn't expected this consideration from Dong Mae. It was a small gesture, but most likely taken into account through her grandfather.
Gunner Jang does not attempt to control her shoots until she fires one too many bullets in quick succession one day. He knew that she was taking out her frustration at the ordeal, and so he allowed her to fire the gun away. But then he asks her to get back on track, and to remain focused on what she was fighting for. Politely, and without any offence in his tone. He did keep his gun by his side, however.
After finishing the second round of practice, Ae Shin leaves a note in the drawer at the apothecary. Her red pinwheel was down, and she hoped that Eugene would visit soon.
By the evening she returns to the house. Removing her shoes by the entrance, she examines the room properly for the first time. It was the ground floor of the house, where Dong Mae and the mute fortune-teller lived. Come to think of it, she hadn't seen the woman around lately.
The place was quiet, and the lamps hadn't been lit up yet. Grabbing some matchsticks, Ae Shin lights up the lamp near the vanity table at the wall. She then stands in front of the mirror, and wipes away the dirt on her cheeks. The lacquered vanity had plum blossoms painted on its sides.
Even if this wasn't her house, she was still currently residing in it. And it meant that she had the right to check through whatever she wanted to.
With this justification, she decides to open the small drawer in the vanity. It contained only a bundle of notes. She picks them up and flips through. And recognises the handwriting.
They were her notes. Her shopping lists.
He had kept her shopping lists with him. He had stolen them in her absence from the shopkeeper and kept them for himself.
The front doors slide open, and Ae Shin turns to see Dong Mae entering through, holding a bag in his hand. She doesn't move from her place.
"What are these?"
Dong Mae looks at her, and then to the notes in her hands. He says nothing.
She tosses the notes to the floor, and waits for him to reply. Outside, a rickshaw puller's wheels screech along the pavement.
He finally speaks. "It has been a few days since I last saw you, Agassi."
"I really dislike it when you divert the conversation."
"Well I apologise for my misdemeanour. I just can't help it." Was he—smirking? There was nothing funny about what she said.
"I haven't seen the fortune-teller as of late," she says, not wanting to acknowledge his strange sense of humour at the situation. "What relation do you have with her? You shouldn't take advantage of a helpless woman just because she can't defend herself."
Dong Mae doesn't appear affected by the accusation in her words. "Her name is Hotaru, and she just lived with me while predicting my fortune for the day." There's an edge to his voice now, however. "You shouldn't be so quick to judge, Agassi."
She seethes, crossing her arms. "I'm not judgemental. Most of the time."
He gives her that insipid half-smile again and it only flusters her.
"It's just unusual, to be living with a woman like that at all. But then, everything about you is unusual."
Her insults don't offend him, and his reaction was baffling her to no end, so she quickly changes the topic.
"Back to my first question. Why?"
"I kept your notes because I wanted to," he says, twisting the bag around in his hand. "I thought that they would tell me something about you, but there's still much I don't know."
Ae Shin has a flashback of receiving a letter which informed her of his visit to her parent's temple. She remembered how furious she had been then, because she only expected ill intentions on his behalf.
"What if I don't want you to know anything about me?"
Dong Mae doesn't break their gaze. "I'm afraid I don't have a choice in that."
She looks away, unsure of how she felt.
"Here—" He hands over the bag to her. "I don't know if you will like it."
Taking the bag, she leaves to go up to her quarters, stepping on the notes still laying on the floor on her way.
Back in her room, Ae Shin kneels on the tatami mats and pulls out the contents of the woven bag. Inside was a bowl of vegetables with rice, grilled meat, and steamed mandu.
The food looked and smelled good enough, and after rinsing her hands, she sits herself down to eat. Until it occurs to her that the food may be tampered with. He may have poisoned it. Spiked it with a drug. She shouldn't risk it, but she was quite hungry. And if she trusted him enough to know he would never kill her at the blank point of a rifle, then it should be safe to eat.
The food was delicious, and soon the bowls were finished.
He had known she would be tired and hungry after her practice. This was another show of his consideration; but like before, she believed that her grandfather was behind her wellbeing.
Despite that, she debates on whether to let him know that she did indeed enjoy the meal. Later, she lets the kitchen servant know instead, and quietly asks for him to pass on her statement.
It felt like paradise.
To have her in his sights; to catch just a brief glimpse of her in passing each day.
To know that she lived here, with him.
It was everything.
It was everything that his soul had ever chanted for.
He was freed of the torturous wait he had to endure each month for her debt repayment.
He could now finally be with her, in a sense.
No matter if her harshness still cut at him and pained him and left wounds that stung.
She was here, she was his.
And it felt like paradise.
The three of them, they always ended up at the bar.
It happened so frequently by 'chance' that he now considered it their ritual.
If circumstances arose where he wouldn't be able to see them anymore, Dong Mae thought he would be upset. However, he would rather die first than reveal to either men his sentiments.
Over small cups of drinks, Eugene informs them that he had began training troops. They were young, foolish men who hadn't shed a drop of blood in their lives, who hadn't witnessed the reality of facing wars.
Dong Mae didn't like soldiers, so the conversation shouldn't have bothered him. But they were mere boys. How could they ever fight for the country? He doesn't want to think about Joseon's plight, yet somehow the thought crept into his mind again. Just like the unwavering coolie and his determination. Like the sniper in disguise with her fierce gaze across the parapets.
They don't bring up the woman in their conversations.
Both men knew of what had transpired, but the topic wasn't up for discussion. It wouldn't be useful to pick at wounds both old and fresh.
Hui Seong was handling it better than he had expected. He was jovial and carefree as always, but perhaps that was the image he wanted to show them. Still, he hoped that he would not remain alone for long.
Eugene was much hurt, that he knew, but he, too, also kept up his image in his usual stoicism.
Dong Mae hated both men.
And he wished a long life for both men.
Finally the day comes, when Ae Shin goes back to visit her home. She planned to stay there for a week.
Now that he had become used to catching a brief glimpse of her everyday, Dong Mae was astounded to think that there was a time not long ago where he was waiting a whole month to see her. And holding onto her stolen notes to hold a part of her somehow.
So this brief absence of a week was beginning to feel like years.
It wasn't right of him to cling to her so obsessively, he knew that, but there was no other path in life that he knew. She was his everything. He was willing to always accept her displeasure towards him if it meant that he would be able to keep her safe.
However, she hadn't been happy since their marriage. Of course the cause was obvious enough, and he had thought of ways to make her content in some way; but now that she was gone, he was able to think and do something about it. At least, he hoped to.
He decides to have her quarters re-decorated. With the help of her old servants, he sets the place with a new calligraphy table, writing equipment; an engraved wooden chest, and other items of craft made of the highest quality.
He requests her servants to not inform their lady of the changes being done to her room.
He was thankful that Ae Shin hadn't bought up the issue of ending their marriage again. He knew however, that her patience could only be tested so much, and he would have to face her demands soon.
When she is finally home again a week later, he's already waiting by the fireplace.
She greets him politely and then takes the stairs to her room.
A while later she returns downstairs, standing by the curtains, hands held close. Her face calm; her eyes warm. "Thank you," she says.
Dong Mae had been prepared for an onslaught, a challenge; just as always. But she offers him a smile instead, a smile so beautiful and life-giving and real.
His heart soars and he thinks he couldn't be more happier than he was in that moment.
It was raining heavily outside.
Her red pinwheel had been down for many days now, so she had been exchanging letters with Eugene when given the chance.
But something felt different in their exchanges.
There was an absence of a heartfelt connection, Ae Shin surmises.
She doesn't quite know how to describe it, but it seemed like each letter of her learnt alphabet was drifting away into the cool wind. Or like the tune of the music-box going haywire, which she still kept hidden in her oak chest of soft furnishings.
This coldness wasn't present before, certainly not prior to the days of her wedding ceremonies.
Or perhaps this was just her overthinking, and it was not him, but her who was acting different since the day of her ill-fated union.
But if Eugene thought that her temporary arrangement was a hindrance to their relationship, to their alliance, then he had to be corrected about it.
She wanted to reassure him that her heart was never going to waver, and so she had tried to arrange a meeting.
He had declined.
And now she sat by the hanging wooden frame, contemplating, planning. Cursing Lee Wan Ik and cursing the retched ways of society.
The downpour continues, and then the front door slides open with a gust of icy sleet.
Dong Mae enters through. Soaked in rainwater from head to toe.
She stares.
"This is quite normal for me, Agassi."
Well, it most definitely wasn't normal for others. Or healthy, even.
"You may get sick."
He shifts on his foot, dabbing his sleeve. "If I do, it will be my problem and I will manage."
Now that was just dramatic, she thinks with exasperation.
After removing his shoes by the entrance, Dong Mae heads over to his room.
"Wait—"
He stops, and turns to face her.
"Sit here for a while, at least," she says quickly, moving over to the grate to light up the wood.
He passes her a side-eyed glance, and for a moment she think he would decline, but then he comes over to the fireplace.
As she lights the fire and stokes it with the metal poker, he kneels down beside her at an appropriate distance away.
But he was drenched in cold water and needed to warm himself up fast. She may not be inclined to him personally, but from a humanitarian perspective she still cared on some level. Just as she cared for every Joseon man, woman, or child.
"Come closer to the fire," she says, watching the fire aglow the room. "Sitting that faraway isn't going to do anything."
She hears a grumble, followed by a sigh, but then he listens to her and sits closer. The fire crackles a vibrant orange, though the atmosphere remains silent. Aloof, and very much awkward, too.
Does she get up now and leave? It would probably be best to do so.
It's not like he was helpless and couldn't care for himself. It was just that he didn't. But he cared enough about her, to set her quarters with thoughtful items of furniture and craft. He cared enough to allow her to continue her practice and attendance at the school.
But first, he also needed a covering of sorts to properly dry up.
With this task in mind, Ae Shin catches the upper hem of her dress, and carefully stands up. Or tries to.
Until her foot slips on the tatami mats, and she falls over.
Falls over onto him.
Her reflexes catch hold of his shoulder, his leg; fingers digging into the soaked fabric, trying to stop her fall by any means.
He had responded the same, of course, taking her arms in his hands and stopping her fall, too. Although he had almost toppled over in the process.
Dong Mae is not looking at her and she's not either. How—how could she?—
So, logically, she swiftly gets up again, and it's the heavens' mercy that she doesn't fall this time.
She leaves the place at lighting speed.
In her room, Ae Shin furiously brushes her damp hands on her dress. And tries not to act like she had been touched by the burning fire itself.
Because that's how fast her heart was thumping, and how red-hot the back of her neck was feeling.
She doesn't even know how to respond, or what to say.
Neither did he. Oh, neither did he, and it made it all the more worse.
If the air felt awkward before, it was minuscule in comparison to the mortification now.
Dear ancestors, she doesn't think she could even look at him again. She felt so clumsy and strange; unsettled.
And she felt—tingling warmth. Heightened breaths.
No, that—no, it was because of the fire, because it had burned up the room so quickly just like when she touched—
She was creating such a big deal out of it! And why? For no apparent reason!
And he still needed a blanket or shawl, damn him.
Whoops! Yikes, Ae shin :D
As always, great readers, leave your thoughts and comments :)
