Tosh, Owen and Gwen had went home after dealing with Lisa's body. I watched it all. I watched them lift her lifeless body into the trolley down to the vaults deep in the Hub. The woman I loved with every part of myself was gone.

I remained silent. Not a whisper, not a cry, not even moving from the sofa. I didn't see the point in speaking. What would I say? I just watched. My face still. The only sign of my pain was my red blood shot eyes. I wouldn't cry in front of them anymore. They didn't care! I'm nothing but dirt to them.

"Go home. I don't want you here for three months" Jack broke the silence. I just nodded and left. I dropped my stun gun, my ID and access card on Tosh's desk. Tosh would most likely do the paperwork for all that.

As the weeks past Jack kept calling me, sending texts and even turned up a couple of times at my flat. He must have known I was there on the other side but didn't say anything. I know he has a key for all our homes but he never even tried to open my front door.

As I lay on my sofa dresses only in old track suit bottoms and sporting some stubble with a beer in my hand I glanced over at the clock. It was 5pm. I hadn't moved in two hours. Jack had most likely sent the others home by now.

I couldn't stop thinking back to the day after Lisa was murdered by my so called friends. I went back to pick up my phone and Jack was watching me as I walked about. He always did that before. I think he doesn't know I know.

On the way out of the Hub he called me into his office. I guessed he was going to retcon me and at this point I didn't care anymore. I lost everything! I don't really remember walking up to his office and even what he said up until he put his hand on my shoulder, talking about how things will be better. I couldn't keep the anger in anymore. How dare he try and be nice to me after what he did!

"You killed her! She was all I had and you killed her" I screaming throwing Jack against his office wall. His face so close to mine I could feel his breath on my lips.

Before I could stop myself I'm grabbing Jacks collar and kissing him. A kiss filled with hate, pain, passion, lust and fear. What had I done? Why did I kiss him? Why do I want to kiss him again? "Oh God!" I looked down to see myself hard. Without another word I turned on my heels and ran out.