I spent the rest of my time suspended in bed mostly. Jack would come in and check on me twice a day. He would bring me food, treats and gossip from the Hub.

On my last night before I started back at work Jack did it, he asked the question I didn't think I knew how to answer. "Why did you kiss me?" Jack asked sheepishly. How was I meant to answer that. I didn't know. I don't know. Fuck he's looking at me. "I...I...wanted to" I was shocked of what I said but it wasn't a lie.

He moved from the seat that he would sit in when he visited next to my bed to sitting next to me. I sat up and threw my legs off the bed so our shoulder touched while we looked at the wall. "Do you want to again? Kiss me I mean" Jack asked breaking the almost three minute silence.

I didn't say anything. I just turned to look at him. Jack bit his lip "Well?" He always looked so sexy when he did that. "I hate you" I answered before I could stop myself. I needed to be honest. Jack nodded and moved to stand up "But..." I continued "I dream about you, about holding you, about kissing you...and...I..." Jack grabbed my face snatching our lips together. He wasn't forceful he just remained still letting me know I was in charge.

I moved my lips against his and it was like after almost three months of being mentally dead I was a live again. I grabbed him pulling him down on top of me. It was a little awkward with our legs hanging off the bed. Jack somehow rolled me so I was lying in the middle of the bed with a pillow below my head.

We kissed and kissed and when I reached for his belt 'BEEP BEEP BEEP' "Shit" I signed. I knew it was work. Jack pulled back to check his phone "I'm sorry I have to go...but I'll come back after" I felt so a shamed. Not for kissing a man but for kissing the man who played such a big part in Lisa's murder. "Don't. I can't do this" I was shaken. All I wanted to do was to curl up in bed and never wake up again. "I understand" Jack answered without looking at me and left.

I needed to get some sleep, I had work tomorrow. I closed my eyes and saw my Lisa. My angel. My love but I wanted Jack to hold me.