Once again, we do not own any of JK Rowling's characters or concepts. There is an alternating POV in this story so make sure to pay attention to the underlined name at the top of each section.
Not Potter and the Stupid Stone
Chapter 2
Laura
A black-haired lady, who made herself known as Professor McGonagall, began a grand speech, as we all wiggled nervously in front of her.
"Hogwarts will be your home," she began, "After you are sorted, you will do everything with your house. You will attend classes together and eat together in the great hall. At night, you will sleep in the same dorm, boys and girls respectively, and on weekends you will be with each other in your house common room. So, I want no name calling, no bullying, no misbehaving, you do not yet know who in this room will be in your house and that means you must all, for these next few minutes, behave as one house. For, as a house you will become a family, for seven long years and hopefully beyond. Now, I am sure you have many questions, but there is no time for those. I will be stepping out for a bit, to see if they are ready for you. Do not disgrace yourself before you've even truly become a student."
I looked next to me, as Noel began to whisper, "How could someone disgrace themselves in three seconds?" Confusion seen running through her dark brown eyes, even behind her, almost, comically large, square, wire-frame glasses.
I replied, scared, yet confused, "I don't know, but I don't wanna be the one to do so."
As I stared forward, trying to catch a glimpse of the door above the sea of students in front of me, I saw an eerie fog drift in the sky above from out of the corner of my eye. I quickly looked up as someone beside me squealed.
"I think something touched my head!" Noel screeched.
In response, my gaze still held above, I pointed towards the ceiling, "Umm... look up?"
Above her head, glistening figures drifted in the air. Their translucent bodies resembled ones of humans, in a gory see-through manner. Fear coursed my skin, as anxiety of the unknown built up. Suddenly, one of the creatures, who I assumed to be ghosts, introduced himself, then began talking.
"Ah... a new year, new first years! I happen to be the Fat Friar, house ghost of Hufflepuff! Hope to see you all there!" He said, before floating back up to talk to some of the other ghosts, as they slowly meandered their way across the room.
As McGonagall returned, the final few ghosts vanished through the wall, one after another. Although many of my classmates seemed afraid of them, I found the whole scenario curious, and it quickly changed my fear into excitement. The professor then called to us, bringing us from the small room out into the hall. She took a moment to look us over, before opening the large doors and leading us into the Great Hall. Nearly all of us were jumping out of our skin, in both anxiety and joy. We collectively gasped, as we looked at the ceiling, or, seemingly, lack of, as it was replaced by dozens of floating candles and the outside sky. One student, near the front, commented on it.
"It's not really the sky, just bewitched to look like the current sky outdoors. I read up on it in the book, Hogwarts A History."
Once the clamor died down, Professor McGonagall brought up a small, four-legged, stool and an old, ragged hat, up to the front of the room. It suddenly began to sing from a large rip,
Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find,
A smarter hat than me.
You can keep your bowlers black,
Your top hats sleek and tall,
For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat,
And I can cap them all.
There's nothing hidden in your head,
The Sorting Hat can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you,
Where you ought to be.
You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil;
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you've a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;
Or perhaps in Slytherin
You'll make your real friends,
Those cunning folk use any means
To achieve their ends.
So put me on! Don't be afraid!
And don't get in a flap!
You're in safe hands (though I have none)
For I'm a Thinking Cap!
Sorting Hat
Great, this again. Every year I am forced to sing a song and, "sort" stupid first years, who don't even have fully developed minds, might I just add, into houses based on their personality and mental disposition. How does that make sense?! I wish I was just a hat, like, sort your own students. Why should I care? Anyway, I'm sitting on the dumb stool again because, let's face it, I'm a slave.
One by one, students' names are called, by McGonagall, and I am forced to sort them. The whole thing goes like this, McGonagall says a name and then I scream a house, after looking in their boring and stereotypical toddler brains for like five minutes. I got in trouble one year after being sarcastic. Apparently, it was, "scary", and my voice sounded, "life threatening", but I don't believe that. Anyway, now Dumbledore said I have to sound, "sincere". I digress. Then it begins,
"Abbott, Hannah." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"HUFFLEPUFF!" I screech back.
"Avery, Noel." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
I guess you're wondering, so I might as well tell you what I was thinking. Plus, this one surprised me.
Pureblood, yes. But not the typical type. If your brain tells me anything, it tells me this: not Slytherin.
"No, I need to be in Slytherin!" she begged.
Need, no. You need anything but. In fact, you need the exact opposite. Gryffindor could do it for you.
"Please, anything else. RAVENCLAW! That's it! Put me in Ravenclaw!" she pleaded.
I'm the all-seeing, the almighty, the Hogwarts sorting hat, but I see only one path for you! Has to be...
"GRYFFINDOR!" I screech back.
"Bones, Susan." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"HUFFLEPUFF!" I screech back.
"Boot, Terry." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"RAVENCLAW!" I screech back.
"Brocklehurst, Mandy." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"RAVENCLAW!" I screech back.
"Brown, Lavender." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"GRYFFINDOR!" I screech back.
"Bulstrode, Millicent." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"SLYTHERIN!" I screech back.
"Corner, Michael." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"RAVENCLAW!" I screech back.
"Crabbe, Vincent." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"SLYTHERIN!" I screech back.
"Fawley, Laura." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
I always have at least one per year like this, didn't even say a word. Usually they talk to me, honestly, they're usually quite winey. But this one, silent.
You have the ambition of a Slytherin, but you aren't as mean-spirited as most. You could fit both Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, but it doesn't suit best. For, in the future, you will have to be braver than most of your peers. Has to be...
"GRYFFINDOR!" I screech back.
"Finch-Fletchley, Justin." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"HUFFLEPUFF!" I screech back.
"Finnigan, Seamus." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"GRYFFINDOR!" I screech back.
"Goldstein, Anthony." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"RAVENCLAW!" I screech back.
"Goyle, Gregory." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"SLYTHERIN!" I screech back.
"Granger, Hermione." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"GRYFFINDOR!" I screech back.
"Greene, Adelyne." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"RAVENCLAW!" I screech back.
"Greengrass, Daphne." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"SLYTHERIN!" I screech back.
"Hewes, Ethan." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"HUFFLEPUFF!" I screech back.
"Kelly, Shannon." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"RAVENCLAW!" I screech back.
"Longbottom, Neville." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"GRYFFINDOR!" I screech back.
"Macmillan, Ernest." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"HUFFELPUFF!" I screech back.
"Malfoy, Draco." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
I didn't even need to touch this one to know where to put him. Reeked of blood supremacy. Kids like him make me want to eat myself.
"SLYTHERIN!" I screech back.
"Nott, Theodore." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"SLYTHERIN!" I screech back.
"Parkinson, Pansy." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"SLYTHERIN!" I screech back.
"Patel, Padma." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"RAVENCLAW!" I screech back.
"Patel, Pavarti." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"GRYFFINDOR!" I screech back.
"Perks, Sally-Anne." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"HUFFLEPUFF!" I screech back.
"Potter, Harry." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
Ooh, a, "celebrity". How honored am I... NOT. Stereotypical little brat, wanting to be with the Gryffindors and hating the Slytherins. Prejudice does not a hero make and none of these kids are heroes.
"GRYFFINDOR!" I screech back.
"Thomas, Dean." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"GRYFFINDOR!" I screech back.
"Turpin, Lisa." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"RAVENCLAW!" I screech back.
"Selwyn, Isabella." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"SLYTHERIN!" I screech back.
"Sullivan, Savannah." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"GRYFFINDOR!" I screech back.
"Weasley, Ronald." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"GRYFFINDOR!" I screech back.
"Willows, Kasey." Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"HUFFLEPUFF!" I screech back.
"Zambini, Blaise" Professor McGonagall calmly reads.
"SLYTHERIN!" I screech back.
After sorting eight Ravenclaws, eleven Gryffindors, seven Hufflepuffs, and nine Slytherins, I am done. Finally, done. Now, I can go back to being a hat. The thing I am SUPPOSED to be.
Laura
As the last first year took their seat a grand, yet strange, old wizard took center stage.
"To all first years, welcome. And to all of our older students, welcome back." The man spoke, "Now, I know that you are all hungry, so I will only say a few words. Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you!"
After the speech, a great thundering applause overtook the hall, and, at the Gryffindor table, there was even a pair of red headed twins whooping and flapping their arms. As soon as the chaos died down, the man spread his arms and said simply, "begin." No sooner had he said it that all the table were suddenly filled to the brim with delicious, smoking hot platters of food.
I began my feast of mince pie, roast chicken, roast beef, ribs, fish and chips, toad in the hole, lambchops, steak, roast potatoes, and baked potatoes. Just as I had a handful of fries halfway to my mouth, a small outstretched hand was shoved right under my nose. I guess it's time for introductions, I thought, resignedly. I slowly put down my handful of fries, as the owner of the hand began speaking.
"Hi, I'm Hermione Granger." She spoke, "who are you?"
"Laura Fawley." I replied.
"Well, I don't know about you," Hermione continued, "but I'm very excited for classes. I'm only a muggle born, so I made sure to study hard over the summer." Hermione rambled, "I only got to read through each textbook twice, and my notes are a bit subpar, but I just hope I can catch up to everyone else."
I panicked, "Twice?! Notes?! Catch Up?!"
Hermione carefully pulled a small book out of her robe pocket before remarking, "Revising should always be done in advance, not after the thing." And then leaving me to worriedly eat chips as she read her miniscule book. I looked over at Noel to see if she had anything to say on the matter, but she seemed a bit preoccupied hyperventilating to worry about revising. I wished there was something I could do for her, but she didn't seem much the touchy-feely type, so instead I moved to fill her empty plate. I decided to give her something neutral that everyone I knew liked, roast chicken and a baked potato. I also pored her a glass of pumpkin juice before turning my attention to the people seated opposite the table from me. A red-haired boy with a large array of freckles and a small, black-haired boy with rounded glasses. I stared closer at the black-haired boy as he reached one arm up and swiped some of the hair away from his forehead revealing a small scar in the shape of a bolt of lightning. I gasped.
"You're Harry Potter!" I exclaimed.
He looked up, a bit shocked, before laughing nervously, "People are always so surprised."
"Wow, well, that's awesome!" I blurted, "I'm sure you're a tad confused, with all this wizarding stuff, but you truly are quite well-known around here."
"Don't go mooching off Harry here. His fame ain't the only part of him." The red-haired boy announced, clearly mooching off Harry.
"Oh, quite frankly I would never do that. I don't care for fame and such, within the wizarding world. It would be quite exciting to explore muggle stuff though. I've always wanted to be, or perform, on their West End or Broadway. It's like theatrical performance – but no magic!" I rambled.
"Theatrical performance has magic?" Harry questioned.
"You wouldn't expect such slow scene and costume changes, would you?" I replied, "I guess muggles do it by hand, but when magic is available, wizards take that as an opportunity."
"Oh."
I frantically tried to apologize, after replaying the conversation in my mind. "Sorry, that may have been stuck-up. Just very passionate about theatre, and quite curious about muggle theatre. By the way," I continued, trying to change the conversation, "I didn't get your name yet." I said, pointing towards the re-haired boy.
"Me?" he replied, a bit confused.
"Yes you, who else." I laughed a bit at his response
"Oh, well I'm Ron," he replied good naturedly, "Ron Weasley."
"Weasley," I mused, "I think I've heard that name before. Do you by any chance have an older sibling? My brother Jeff is a fourth year, perhaps he mentioned it once."
"Do I have a sibling!" Ron exclaimed, looking more than a bit confused. "Well let's see, your brother probably knows Percy, He's a fourth year, although Fred and George are quite well known, they're in third year, and Bill was quite popular in his time, although he graduated years ago, and Charlie was here only las year, so there's a chance it could have been him. But I know it wasn't Ginny he was thinking of, she won't be coming to Hogwarts 'till next year." He finished thoughtfully.
"Goodness," I exclaimed, tallying up all his siblings in my head, "But that must mean you're one of seven children!"
"Yep." He replied, a bit grimly
His answer didn't really leave much for me to respond to, so I changed the topic again, "What's your blood status, I mean I've never seen importance in such things, but it can be interesting to find out about a person. I find half-bloods and muggle borns have such interesting muggle books and such, seeing as I'm a Pureblood."
Ron shrugged, "Oh, well in that case, you won't find much interesting about me, I'm a Pureblood too."
From next to me Noel, who had, seemingly, been listening in on the conversation muttered something. I hadn't been paying enough attention to her to make out what she had said but, somehow, Ron had.
"What did you just say," Ron snarled at Noel.
"I said," she annunciated, clearly, making eye contact with Ron, "barely. As in blood traitors like you do not deserve the honor of calling yourself a Pureblood."
Ron rolled his eyes, "And I'm sure you come from some proud and noble blood line." He taunted.
"I am, in fact, descendant of the most pure Avery blood line." Noel said with an overwhelming air of dignity.
"Yeah," Ron sneered, "And I'm sure Mummy and Daddy Avery will be so proud when they find their precious daughter has been sorted into Gryffindor."
Noel balked at this, "How dare you!" She screeched.
Ron smiled, pleased with getting a bait out of her, "Scared of the truth, are you? Well I look forward to seeing that bright red howler screaming in your face tomorrow morning."
"Both of you stop it!" I exclaimed, tired of their bickering, "Noel, I do not agree with any blood purity propaganda, it is complete Nazism, and Ron, don't you think you were being even the slightest bit rude to Noel."
I waited expectantly for them to reconcile, however, they simply scowled at each other before both continuing to eat. I sighed before turning to Harry, who was looking quite concerned and even a bit confused after the argument.
"Hey Harry," I said as casually as I could muster, "You grew up in the muggle world. Do you know of any cool muggle toys or inventions?"
Harry smiled, relieved at my question and answered, "Well, my cousin had a lot of video games that he could play on his computer.
"Oh," I gasped excitedly, "I've herd of computers before! Aren't they like a box that you can ask any question and it knows the answer and where the games appear on it like movies that you can control? My parent kept a TV in the house, but they always insisted that a computer would be a waste of time. Plus they were afraid my brother or I would enchant it with a burst of accidental magic and then we would end up with a sentient computer."
Harry stared at me, a bit bemused, before trying to explain the workings of a computer to me.
The conversation continued for a while, as dessert came, and went. Eventually Ron got over himself and joined our conversation along with Hermione who seemed thoroughly annoyed by our lack of basic understanding when it comes to muggle technology. Noel, however stayed silent and sullen through the rest of the meal. By the end of the feast, we were all stuffed to the brim, and ready to sleep.
"I really shouldn't have eaten that much." I groaned.
"It's totally worth it, though." Ron said, through a mouthful of food.
"How are you still eating?" Hermione questioned.
Suddenly, Harry yelped, clapping his hand to his forehead.
"What's wrong?" I asked, concerned.
I watched him make eye contact with a professor who had long, greasy black hair and a large hook nose, before mumbling, "Nothing..."
"Look," Hermione pointed up towards the Head Table. "Dumbledore's getting up again."
I turned my head to view the eccentric old Wizard, once again standing in front of the hall.
"Now that you have had a chance to fill your stomachs," he began. "I have only a few important things to mention..."
In and out of listening, as Dumbledore droned on, I caught only words at a time. Something to do with a forbidden forest and someone named Filch? That is, until one rushed sentence interrupted his somewhat drowsy speech pattern.
"...the third-floor corridor on the right side is out of bounds to all students who do not wish to die a painful death."
"Painful death?" Ron squeaked.
But before we could discuss it any further, Dumbledore quickly clapped his hands and continued, "now, for this year's school song, everyone, select your favorite tune, and begin."
He then waved his wand as a series of golden letters flew out, the school song, and everyone began singing their own beat and melody. Noel most notably chose the melody of, "The Girl I Mean to Be" from the newly released, "The Secret Garden, the musical", as I hummed along with the song, "Unworthy of Your Love", from the musical, "Assassins". Moments later, all mentions of a forbidden corridor were forgotten.
Soon after, laughter and weariness filled the air, as the houses wandered to their dorms. The prefects led us new students to the secret entrance of each dorm, therefore, allowing each house to roam the halls for a bit. Midway to the supposed, "Painting of the fat lady", I saw the boy from the train, heading the opposite way. I saw this as the perfect opportunity to draw Noel out from her sulking.
"Is that Draco?" I asked her. When she gave no response, I decided to try and call him over, maybe he would be able to cheer her up. "Hey, Malfoy!" I called. He looked over and stared at us, before walking away. "Flat out rude, isn't he?" I commented
Noel rolled her eyes before replying, "Funny you thought that would work" and then quickly flouncing away from me and up to the Gryffindor common room.
Meeting up with Ron, Hermione, and Harry, I began to aggressively retell the previous events.
"Supremist make me hate being a Pureblood, honestly." Ron sighed.
"Come on," I yawned. "Maybe Draco was in a rush, or something not being supremist. Just lay off."
"Doubt it." Harry said, sighing, "if only you had heard the things, he said to me, when trying to befriend me."
"Being a Pureblood doesn't mean you're better than anyone, but he sure thinks it does." Hermione added.
Moments later, we arrived at the portrait of the Fat Lady. After Percy gave each of us the code, Caput Draconis, and showed us where the girls' and guys' dorms reside, we all went to bed. As I closed my bed curtains and flopped down, I peered over at Noel's four poster bed. The curtains on it had been drawn since the moment Hermione and I entered, and I couldn't help but wonder if Ron had been right in going off at her. Somehow in less than a day at Hogwarts, my life had gotten a lot more confusing. And, as the night ended, and I fell asleep, I about thought how one night ago I had been sleeping under the same sky, only worlds apart.
