Sorry this chapter took me so long to get out, I wasn't sure how to write a basic filler page and still have it somewhat interesting. Updates shouldn't be so long between anymore. I am done with my college classes, and I finished high school last Tuesday. I graduate on Sunday! I am so happy!
So I'm basically going to try and get as much out over the summer as I can. Hopefully I finish this before I start college, because I know I'm going to be super busy in college. I'm planning on finishing it before then…but not counting any chickens…anyways…
I do not own RENT or any of the characters therein. I do own this fic…and hell, while I'm at it, I'll claim this idea too…and you know, I claim your mouse too…Yes, your mouse… Look down at your hand, yes, that, see that oval thing with the cord that you're holding? Yes, that… yeah, that's mine now. …what do you mean, 'no'? I claimed it! Its mine now… No, stop protecting it…let go! …Its mine I tell you! I claimed it. …What do you mean you're calling the police? …ah come on, my mouse sucks…can't I just…borrow yours for a while? …fine. goes and sulks in the corner, mouseless
Can you actually believe that I'm 18 years old? …I didn't think so.
Oh, and this isn't the day after the last chapter, its2 days later, he first went on a Monday, this chapter takes place Friday. Oh, and I had a longer beginning written, but decided not to use it. It'll be the beginning for my next chapter, I suppose. So I hope this beginning doesn't seem choppy.
Conversations
Mark locked his bike to a meter outside the shop and entered. He was surprised to see Reye out from under the counter. She was wearing black cowboy boots, pink fishnets under a short denim skirt and a baggy, pink, off the shoulder sweater. He didn't exactly understand her fashion sense, but she was young. She looked up when he walked in and grinned.
"Hey Sweettooth."
"Hey, Miss Reye…what are you doing out of bed?"
She grinned. "Well, my brother was just here so I had to get up to talk to him for a while."
"You have a brother?" Mark asked, slightly surprised.
"Yeah. His name is Marshall…you know, I've been thinking, you and him should really meet. Marsh would just love you!" She paused, thinking, as Mark tried to figure what she'd meant, but she continued before he could say anything. "Well, I mean…he's more into red heads…but you've got that nice strawberry-blonde color, so its pretty close…" she trailed off at the look on Mark's face. "What?"
"I'm not gay..." he responded strongly. "Why does everyone think that?" He continued, more to himself.
Reye laughed. "Don't get all defensive, chico. I didn't say you were."
Mark stared at her a second, his face heating. "Oh…uh…sorry, its just that it sounded like you were saying-"
"No, I was." She interrupted him. "You understood me right, I was trying to fix you two up."
The filmmaker stopped, confused. "But you just said…huh?"
Reye laughed. "Sorry, I like to do that to people… Anyways, I don't think you're gay because I don't believe in sexuality."
Mark gave her another confused look. "Okay, now I'm really getting mixed up. How can you not believe in sexuality? Isn't it just…a fact?"
"No, not necessarily… I think the whole sexuality thing is just an easy way to state…preferences. Some people prefer blondes, some people prefer dicks, but to say that just because a guy is attracted to blondes he can't ever fall in love with a brunette is…absurd. Same thing with dicks, just because a man is attracted to women doesn't mean it's impossible for him to fall in love with a man. I think that people fall in love with people, not their genitalia." She explained. "Think about it, it makes sense."
Mark was silent for a moment. Well…it certainly explains Maureen…I guess it does make sense…Especially considering Roger…wait, Roger? I don't... but then whatdo I feel for him?
"So you want your coffee now?" Reye asked, interrupting his thoughts.
Mark nodded before remembering that he didn't have any money. Four days in a row of paying different varieties of a dollar and some change, for the same coffee, had made him completely broke. "Oh wait, I don't have any money…like none at all, today. I just came to talk."
"Its okay. Don't worry about it."
He put his hand up. "No, really, I don't want to take anything from you."
She grinned. "You won't be. Here" she paused as she pulled a purple notebook out from under the counter, and flipping to a new page scrawled Sweettooth across the top margin. "I'll start you up a tab. See, I'll just put a tally down every time you come in and you can just pay me whenever you have it… All of my regulars have tabs, so don't worry about it." She said, putting down a tally on the first line.
He smiled. "Thanks…So am I a regular now?"
"Yep, this makes it official."
He smiled, hopping up on the barstool. "So where was I?"
Reye popped her gum. "It was just after April moved in and Roger had just tried heroin."
"Oh yeah…so we didn't find out they were using for about two weeks"…
LINELINELINELINELINELINE
"Oh my God…poor Roger."
"Yeah, he really took it hard…He's never been the same…I mean, after Mimi came in he was like how he used to be, but not completely. There will always be a part of him missing." Mark sighed.
"That's so sad... How did you take it?"
Mark looked at her in surprise. "What do you mean?"
Reye chewed her gum for a second. "I mean…well, you always describe how others feel, what others go through, but you never put your own thoughts, your own emotions into it. Its like you're cut off, almost, just…an observer." She explained slowly.
Mark's face reddened slightly. "Just because I don't talk about what I feel does not mean I don't feel things. I'm not cut off! I feel, I have a heart, it fucking hurt me, too." He snapped, his voice rising in volume as he spoke.
Reye's eyes widened and she gaped slightly. Mark took a breath and looked up at her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell-"
"Don't be sorry, Mark, you're allowed to get mad…I can tell that's a real touchy subject for you, huh?" she responded softly.
He groaned. "No…I mean, yes. I mean…its just that everyone always just assumes that because I don't wear my heart on my sleeve that I don't have one. They assume that when I film I detach myself, but I'm there the whole time. I feel, too. I go through everything everyone else does, I feel it all. My camera isn't magic. It shields the world from me, but it can't shield me from the world."
As he finishes, she nods. "But why don't you wear your heart on your sleeve? Why not show your emotions? Everyone has them, its okay to react to things."
He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "I know that…its just that…you can't be the filmmaker and have tears in your eyes, you can't hold the camera straight when your hands are shaking…You can't be strong and show weakness at the same time…You can't support your friends when you're focusing on supporting yourself…You can't be the rock they lean on and have cracks, otherwise everyone falls." He ranted, gesturing with his hands.
"But…why are you the one to support them? Why must you be the rock? And why is it weak to show emotions? And why can't you be the filmmaker and have tears in your eyes if the tears are already in your heart?" (A/N: wow, I just realized I could totally picture these last two dialogues being sung, although I'd have to make them rhyme a little first)
Mark sighed, rubbing his eyes. "You just…don't understand, Reye, you don't get it. I can't show what I feel because no one can know that I have cracks, no one can know, because then who can they lean on? If I'm not the strong one, no one else will be…Besides, that's not how I function, anyways. I don't like expressing myself like that, its messy and tiring…Can we just stop talking about it?"
She nodded, with a smile. "Alright, we'll drop it for now…But you know, with everyone leaning on you, it has to get strenuous just staying on your feet…I want you to know, that if you ever need someone to lean on, I'm always right here, and I've got plenty sturdy legs."
Mark laughed softly. "I'll keep that in mind…thank you."
"Don't mention it. Now, I would say, continue on with your story…but Lactose is coming in."
Mark looked up to see Lactose walking in. "Hey Lydia." He greeted.
She smiled. "Hi Mark, Reye."
Mark smiled back and went to grab his scarf and coat.
"Hey, you don't have to leave…I mean, if you want to stay." Lactose offered softly.
Mark looked at her, then glanced up at Reye. "Are you sure?"
Lactose nodded, and Reye grinned. "Of course she's sure, Sweettooth. Stay and talk with us for a bit."
Mark smiled, putting his coat and scarf back down. "Okay."
LINELINELINELINELINE
Okay, I guess thats a bit short, but I want to get something out. I'm going to try to speed the timeline up a bit because I have LOTS planned, but I'm having trouble getting to it. It will get more interesting as time goes by.The next update should be sometime next week if not sooner.
Please drop me a review on your way out! I could really use constructive criticims, especially on my characterization. Mark and Roger are hard to write, its very easy to make them into flat characters based on one characteristic they have while ignoring the depth they showed in RENT. I'll try my very best...although Roger will be a little flat for a while, thats the way the fic goes, though. Later.
