AN: Hello again dear ones. I hope you're all having an excellent week so far and I hope you enjoy this chapter!
On Saturday morning I woke up feeling kind of nervous... and I was mentally slapping myself for it. I knew the reason behind my nerves and it started with a capital "S" and ended in an "eth." It frustrated me to no end.
Here I was getting worked up over a guy...
A very good looking one...
Who I hadn't seen in seven years...
And he's just as kind and sweet as he was back then...
I barely know him anymore...
But he's been an open book since you got here...
I know, I know, he just had his own world here and this imprint madness has forced him to try and make me a part of it and...
Oh my god, I'm talking to myself. I looked in the mirror and slapped my cheeks a few times. I needed to pull myself together enough to act normal when I met up with everyone today. I hurried to the bathroom to start my routine and, once I was done there, started on my hair. I combed through it and went over it with my flat iron, adding a few bumps for volume. I checked the weather, it was looking to be a rare sunny day in Port Angeles so I decided on a white, off the shoulder sweater, dark jeans, and a pair of brown boots with a chunky heel. I checked the time, I needed to keep track seeing as I was walking to First Beach. It was 9 am, if I left by 9:30 I'd make it to our meeting spot at 10 on the dot. I went over to the dresser, leaning toward the mirror to apply some eyeliner and mascara. Once that was done I ran downstairs, kissed my brother on the cheek and waved to Emily, all while grabbing a muffin and running out the door... right into Seth's solid chest.
"Woah there, sweetheart," he said "I mean uh... um..."
"Seth," I breathed "what are you doing here?"
"I was on my way to First Beach and I uh... well I had to pass your house anyway and-"
"Yeah, let's walk together," I said pushing him back a few steps.
"Right, cool." He said and we took off toward the beach.
We were silent for about 10 minutes of the walk; awkwardly so. It seemed like he wasn't sure what say, or even how to talk to me at all. So I decided to break the ice,
"I was really glad uh," I cleared my throat nervously "I was glad when you brought up this trip again. I didn't think you'd want to go anymore."
"Why wouldn't I? This happens to be something I'd be very excited to do for a friend, besides, I am kinda the reason your original welcome back party got cut short." He laughed sounding just as nervous as I was.
"And here I was thinking you only brought it up to get out of a date with Maria." I said with an eye roll.
"And if I'd decided to go on the date instead?" He asked.
"I wouldn't stop you from doing what you wanted." I told him honestly.
"But would you want to?" This question followed quickly behind my answer, but I didn't respond to this one. I looked straight ahead, we were nearing the spot where the rest of our friends were waiting.
"Seth!" Looks like Maria already spotted us. Seth stopped and turned me to face him, tilting my chin to try and force our eyes to meet.
"I just want you to be honest with me, Lexi." He breathed, his minty breath washing over my face. Just when I started to hear the sound of footsteps jogging toward us he pulled away from me. He turned to face Maria, who'd been the one coming toward us, and gave her one of his sunny smiles.
"Seth, what took you so long? We've been waiting for like ever." She asked him.
"I'm right on time last I checked." He laughed. She latched onto his arm and, in proper Maria fashion, started to drag him away from me. She glanced over her shoulder and shot me a glare behind his back. I, very kindly, responded with a middle finger and walked off toward Connie and Gabe.
"Mornin guys!" I said. "Got an open space for me in your car?"
"You don't wanna ride with Seth?" Connie asked, barely holding in her laughter.
"I think you know I'd rather choke on a mouthful of gravel than watch Maria embarrass herself for 2 hours." I pushed her arm playfully.
"Haha right, of course you have a seat in Gabe's car, right next to me." She said. We all split off to their respective cars, I watched Seth slide into the passenger side of Maria's, and we were off. Gabe immediately plugged the aux cord into his phone and cranked up the music.
Everybody was just kinda vibing with the music when Connie leaned into me and asked,
"So what's up with you and Seth?"
I stiffened and replied "What ever are you talking about dear Connie?"
"Oh don't play coy with me miss missy." She slapped my thigh. "What was that on the beach?"
"We were uh...simply having a disagreement." I told her.
"Must have been quite the disagreement, things were looking pretty steamy." Connie said with a wiggle of her eyebrows.
"Things were not steamy, Connie!" I was blushing furiously now.
"Okay okay, I'll stop making fun. But seriously though, when you first got here you guys seemed attached at the hip, honestly we all thought you were dating. Then after like a day you guys are barely even speaking to each other and Maria's fawning all over him when he's never allowed her to before. What I'm trying to say is you two seem to be skirting around a larger issue." Her eyes were showing so much concern that it compelled me to confide in her. I couldn't very well talk about imprinting though so I had to tread lightly here.
"Its a bit complicated, Connie." So I'm whining now, sue me.
"I'm a really good listener." She said.
"Well uh, this may sound a bit silly since it was so long ago, but when we were kids we were crushing on each other pretty hard." I said blushing again "On my last day in La Push we'd even kissed and made one of those childish pacts that we wouldn't forget. And now I'm back here and... it feels... I don't know, it feels like the spirits have bound us together. Sorry that might've sounded a bit intense but none the less it just feels right for me to want be with him even though we haven't talked all these years. I was never really interested in anyone in Florida and in hindsight maybe its because I was comparing them to the boy I was sure Seth had grown into and..." I looked at Connie for the first time during my speech "and I'm rambling aren't I?"
"A bit but please, continue." She giggled.
"The point is, just because I feel this way doesn't mean Seth has to. He doesn't have to try and include me in his life this way just because of this spark we felt on my first night here that seems to be drawing us together. I want him to continue as if nothing had changed and not to feel...obligated in any way." I heaved a sigh and glanced around to make sure no one was paying attention to our hushed conversation since there were other people in the car with us.
"So let me get this straight, you like Seth and he's obviously shown an interest in you which you are sure is only out of some sense of obligation, and even though you both feel drawn to each other you want to give him the chance to choose someone else?" Connie asked.
"Yes that's pretty much the gist of it." I nodded.
"Have you given Seth much of a choice in whether or not he wants to be with someone else?" She asked.
"Um well...not...really." she cocked an eyebrow at me. "Look, he's just too kind for his own good."
"Well that doesn't sound fair. Seth is a big boy Lexi, he knows how to make decisions for himself." Connie said. "Forgive me if I'm being too frank but it seems to me like the real issue is that, even though he is being upfront with you about what he wants, you refuse to believe him because for some idiotic reason you don't feel like you deserve him at least not on the level he's willing to give himself to you. Now, since you won't listen to him about it let me tell you a little bit about the Seth I've known the last few years. First, he's never dated, many have tried and he always refuses. Second, he is definitely kind to a fault but not so much so that he'd put himself in an uncomfortable situation, or have you not been paying attention to the way he so smoothly denies Maria those dates without just shutting her down. If he's telling you he wants to be with you then you should go for it. Believe him and stop trying to take his choice away even though you both want it." She said matter of factly.
"You girls done whispering over there?" Gabe chuckled.
"Yeah babe we've just finished our discussion. I wouldn't bother Lexi for the rest of the drive, I'm sure she's got a lot to think about." Connie told him and like a very mature individual I stuck my tongue out at her. Unfortunately for me though, she was right and I spent the next hour going back and forth with my inner monologue, trying to get to the root of my feelings and actions.
AN: So by now you might be feeling a little frustrated with Lexi, trust me I understand. She's coming around though, I promise. please leave me a review and tell me what you thought, I'm always glad to hear your thoughts and criticisms and it helps me know if I've done something wrong.As always, stay safe, stay home, and wear a mask!
